The Hi Skool Girl
by ServanttotheTallest
Summary: "I never planned to be involved in the Irken-Resisty war. I never planned to meet Dib and the others, live on the Massive, or know alien leaders on a first-name basis; but we're stuck here, while planets die daily: ours may be next. Moral dilemmas can have the worst timing..." RedXOC. Finally done, for real this time!
1. The Tutoring Program

**Hello everyone,**

**This is my first full-length novel, and it's still undergoing revisions. I've spent a few years working on it, from about freshman year to-believe it or not-the end of my senior year. I'd really appreciate feedback on whether the characters are IC, the plots are good, and all the other elements of the story. The cover picture is fan art drawn by SmileyyMonsterr. I don't own the picture or Invader Zim. I only own my OCs: Hannah, her dad, Ruza, Mikel, Snork, Smack, and probably a lot of others I forgot to name.**

**Above all, God should receive the credit for any merits this story garners, because without Him, I couldn't write anything, much less something great. I know Invader Zim has nothing to do with religion, however, I hope the themes and values in this story serve to reflect His Word and glorify Him. I've held you up long enough: have fun reading, and shoot me a review to let me know how you liked it.**

* * *

_Breaking News Bulletin:_

_This is Keith Kid reporting live for Channel 6 News with a breaking story this evening. We have reports of what appears to be a giant robot of some sort ravaging through the downtown area. We now take you live to a video feed from… what's that? ...Oh. Oh, I see. It appears that our helicopter has just been knocked out of the sky by… something. Stay tuned for further updates, and… oh no. Oh no! It's coming this way! Stop! Not again! No- NOOOO!_

* * *

_24 Hours Earlier…_

_Where's that main office, already? You'd think they would have at _least_ told me where to sign in…_

I walked through the hallways, looking for any sign of human life. Why I had signed up to tutor kids at a skool like this, I'd never understand. The halls were filthy, the walls were cracking plaster, and everything was colored a nasty yellow-green. It didn't smell great, either; but this _was_ a middle skool: I should have expected as much. After about ten minutes, I came to an intersection where seven doorways formed a tight circle. One of them read "Nurse." Another read, "Taxidermy." I did a double-take. _TAXIDERMY? ...Crazy skool…_

I kept walking, looking for either kids or teachers. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder and yelped, whirling around. "Hellooo," a woman said over-enthusiastically. "You're here for the hi skool tutoring program, _aren't_ you?"

"Um, yes ma'am," I forced a smile. "Do you know where I should sign in?"

"Sign_ in_?!" the woman slowly began to chuckle, and then laugh, and then cackle like a complete maniac.

I stepped involuntarily a few paces toward safety. "Okaaay… Um, maybe I'll just find the kids I'm supposed to be tutoring… instead."

"Why, _certainly_, deary," she smiled as if nothing had happened, and then pointed to a door down the hall. "They're right in there!"

"Thanks…" I cast her one more confused look before walking up to the door. The plaque on the wall read _Miss Bitters_. I began to open it cautiously, before I looked back to ask the lady if she was sure this was my room… but she was gone. _That's weird… _

To my left as I entered the room sat desks filled with children, who all had physics books on their desks. None of the kids actually seemed to be working: one boy wadded up his worksheet and threw it at the back of someone's head. Another was trying to eat the example pictures of fruit in his book. _Great, I got stuck with the crazies_, I thought miserably. The only one who seemingly genuinely interested in working sat in the front left seat, poring over his book. He had black, spiky hair and glasses. He scribbled down answers while the rest of the class launched paper airplanes and spit wads and made annoying animal sounds.

I made my way to the teacher's desk, where an old lady- and I mean _really_ old- sat, looming over the children. She didn't look as if she actually cared about the kids' education, but seemed more interested in the second hand on the clock behind her.

"Um, hi- are you…Miss Bitters?"

"Yes, I am. What do YOU want, child?" she growled.

"I-"

"Wait a minute…" Her eyes narrowed and she circled me, her black clothes making her look like a strange eel with a woman's head. "You're one of those hi skool students we hired to be tutors!"

The rest of the room was staring at me, having momentarily forgotten their spit wad war. "Well, actually, I'm doing it for free, but, um…Yeah, I'm a tutor," I said lamely.

"We have tutors at this skool?" A kid in the back called.

_Oh, boy…_

"_Tutor_?" another voice rang out. I looked to the front right seat, where a boy in some weird pinkish outfit stood on his desk, glaring daggers at me. "What is this… _Tutor_ of which you speak? Is it some kind of military rank?"

"What?" I asked, mystified. It took me a full three seconds to register his green skin. _Wait…GREEN SKIN? _"Whoa- what's up with your _face_?"

"It is merely a _skin_ condition, freaky military female!" He glanced around daring the others to to challenge him. "I AM NORMAL!"

"Zim, a tutor isn't a military position!" The boy who'd actually been writing answers down said dryly. "She's here to help us with physics homework!"

"Good!" Miss Bitters shot. "I can't tell you how much I've looked forward to this vacation. Can you imagine working with these children all day long? Trying to teach them Newton's Second Law of Motion? No! They'll _never_ learn! You're all DOOMED!" she screeched.

"I'm sure they aren't _that_ hopeless," I said, trying to get on their good side. "Wait- did you just say vacation?"

"Yes, child. I'm going to live at the beach for the rest of the skool year!"

"What?! But I'm not a substitute!" I protested. "I'm just supposed to go around and ask if anyone needs help and stuff… after you teach the lessons!"

"Not my problem." She grabbed her briefcase and slithered/hovered to the door.

"Um, Ms. Bitters, wait! P-please, you can't just leave me alone with these-"

**SLAM!** The door shut in my face.

"- kids…" _Great_… _That's just great. _

I turned around to find them glaring at me like I'd invented Newton's Second Law myself. I sighed. "Okay, um…Well, I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Hannah. It's nice to meet you all… so…anyone need any help?"

"ZIM needs NO ONE'S help! You might as well just walk out of here right now, you idiotic, filthy human!"

I faced him. "If I did that, I wouldn't get any service hours, now would I?" He growled and sat back down. "Now that that's taken care of…" One boy in the second row raised his hand, and I walked over, ignoring the stares from the rest of the room. They gradually returned to what they'd been doing. "What's your name?" I asked the boy.

"Melvin!" he grinned, speaking in a ridiculously high-pitched voice. "I'm getting a puppy for Christmas!"

"That's nice," I smiled back. "You know, I used to have a puppy, before… that accident... with the blender. Um… Anyways, what was it you needed help with?"

"I don't understand this," he frowned and pointed to his book.

"What part?"

"All of it!"

"…All of it?"

"I don't get it!" he repeated.

_Oh, this isn't good…. _"What about this part here, about velocity? Do you understand what velocity is?"

"Oh, yeah, I know what that is! It's a kind of dinosaur!" Melvin's laugh was throaty, the kind one might call geeky- over the top. I figured someone would get really tired of it if he or she taught all day, every day, like Ms. Bitters.

"I think you mean _velociraptor_," I corrected.

"What's that?" he frowned.

_We have sooo much work to do… _"Um, wait here. I'll get a book and be right back." I made my way to the front, dodging airplanes and spit wads. "You all should really be finishing your worksheets." Of course, none of them listened. I wondered if I would get service hours if none of the children actually learned anything.

Just as I was leaning down to pick up a book from the shelf, I heard someone whisper, "_Psst_!" I turned to find that one kid- the one actually doing the homework- looking at me. He motioned me over. Raising an eyebrow, I put the book down and knelt by his desk. "Hey, I'm Dib," he greeted.

"Hannah. Need any help?"

"No, not really. I figured out this part about rotational torque already," he pointed to a question far down the worksheet.

"Wow. You're really far ahead of the others- Melvin hasn't even figured out the date yet."

He laughed. "Yeah, a lot of these kids… they aren't so smart. My dad's a scientist, so I spend a lot of time studying his technology and stuff. That's the only reason I think I understand physics."

"I had a hard time with physics, but I liked it a lot anyway," I said. "We had the nicest teacher- she brought us donuts!"

"Donuts are good!" he grinned.

"I know, right? They're the best! Anyway, I have to go help Melvin learn about velocity, so-"

"Wait!" A sudden urgency entered his tone.

I frowned. "What?"

"Do you see THAT kid?" he pointed across the row to the boy with the pink clothes and green skin. "He's an alien!"

"An _alien_? …Well, it wouldn't surprise me, the way he talks about 'filthy humans' and all that." The object of our gossip was deeply immersed in his own electronic sketchpad drawing. "And his skin, too! It's gr-"

"Yeah!" Dib nodded vigorously. "He wears a disguise so no one will recognize him. The other kids are all too dumb to notice, and they don't even SEE how he's trying to take over Earth!"

"Earth? Um… no offense, Dib, but that might be a little extreme. Maybe...he really does have a skin condition…" I tried not to stare at the green child.

"A skin condition with no _ears_?" Dib crossed his arms.

I looked again and felt light-headed. "Holy muffins, where are his ears?!" I shut up when I realized the whole class was staring at me again. The Zim kid gave me a look of complete hatred. I waved weakly. "Hey…"

"It's true!" Dib whispered, as they returned to their activities. "I'm telling you, Hannah, I've been spying on Zim for years! All of my attempts to get proof have kinda failed, but I _know_ he's an alien! Soon his empire's armada will come to conquer Earth- he already tried bringing them here once, but… Wow. This must sound _really_ stupid to you, huh?" He looked at his desk, dejected. It was as if no one had ever listened to this spiel before- like he'd been shut down many times before.

_The least I can do is act like I care. _"...No, it's not really _stupid_, it's just…just…really...out there. I don't know if I believe you, but I'd sure like to find out more about why Zim is...well, just more about him."

"You're serious?" he asked interestedly but carefully. "Because people have pretended to believe me before. They got abducted by other aliens with a bunch of super weapons!"

"Oh, really?" I laughed.

"Yes!...Hey! Why don't you meet me at lunch? We can talk about Zim's latest plan to destroy Earth! I got pictures of the machine he's building, only it's not very big, so I don't see how he'll be able to destroy-"

"HELPER LADY!" Melvin yelled.

_Oh, shoot. I forgot about mister velocity over there_. _Won't _that_ be fun? _"Be right there, Melvin! Sorry, Dib," I frowned, genuinely sad to leave such an interesting conversation. "I've got to help some of the other kids. Why don't I meet you at lunch?"

"I'll save you a seat," he grinned.

"Awesome. See you later." I retrieved the physics book, and caught Zim giving me a suspicious look on my way back to Melvin's desk. He glared at Dib like he was responsible for world hunger and then turned with a frustrated grunt back to his sketchpad. _What's_ his_ problem? __Oh, whatever… _

After about twenty minutes, Melvin finally understood the basic difference between scalar and vector quantities. I broke down and told him the date, however: shoot me, but the kid had issues.

"_Testing! Testiiing!_" A voice suddenly came over the intercom. "_Attention, students! This is your new skool announce- from before- speaking! All the children in Miss Bitters' class are required to attend a mandatory field trip! I mean...ugh...ergh! Except for Zim!"__  
_

"Oh, not this again! I'll handle it!" Dib sprang from his seat and ran out of the room.

"Hey, wait!" I called, too late.

_"You all get to go to the Wonderland Factory of Cheese! They make all kinds of things out of the cheese- monkeys, burritos, even squid babies- ouch!"_ The connection was abruptly cut off. _What the heck...?!_

A moment later, Dib ran back into the room, posing like he'd just saved the day from an evil army of mutant ninja zombies. "I did it!" he shouted.

"Stupid human! Zim shall destroy you!" Zim lunged toward him.

"Whoa! Hey!" I threw myself in between them, separating them with my arms. Since I was a good bit taller than them both, this was quite effective. "Enough with the 'human' business!" I ordered. "Now YOU-" I looked at Dib, "get back to your worksheet. YOU get back to your strange drawing, or whatever the heck you were doing." I released their heads with a small shove. "And the rest of you..." I pulled a spit wad off my face. "No more spit wads!"

"Awww!" the class moaned; but, to my surprise, they went to work. The room was soon silent once more.

_Wow. They actually listened to me...__Maybe this tutoring thing won't be so hard, after all. _I took a deep breath, gazed at the intercom speaker, and shook my head. _Squids made out of cheese, huh? __Well_, _one thing's for sure- this is definitely _not_ your everyday middle skool._

* * *

**Now for some fun facts:**

**Their love of donuts is a bit of foreshadowing.**

**The "puppy...blender" line wasn't originally there- it was added in one of the final edits.**

**This chapter was written while I was taking sophomore Physics, so the material was fresh in my mind.**

**Regrettably, I made use of the "actually-believing-Dib-and-being-invited-and/or-a ble-to-sit-at-his-lunch-table" cliche...forgive me.**


	2. Something in the Sky

Walking into the cafeteria was its own kind of horrible. Aside from it being "Corn and Mayonnaise Day," someone somewhere had decided a food fight was in order. I barely had time to duck as a huge glop of yellow-white...something…flew over my head. "Whoa!" If I'd have known which of the children it had been, I would've shot the kid a dirty look. _What kind of place IS this? __I bet they don't even serve real food!_

Spotting that boy, Dib, in the lunch line, I headed over to him. At least _he_ seemed relatively normal. "Hey, you know they're throwing poisonous projectiles of doom, right?"

He smirked. "Tell me something I don't know."

"Okay," I shrugged. "The slop on your plate's still moving."

"...Aah!" Dib flung the tray into the trash where it instantly exploded, erupting in a green mushroom cloud I took great care to steer clear of.

Dib led me over to his table, and I sat down next to a girl with purple hair wearing a skull charm around her neck. She was deeply immersed in her Game Slave 2, the tray in front of her untouched. Smart girl. "Hannah, this is my sister, Gaz. She's always playing her Game Slave," he rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

"Hey, Gaz," I ventured. Grunting in annoyance, she turned her back to us, and the sound of a vampire piggy being disintegrated mingled with the noisy din of the cafeteria. "So…this Zim kid..." I scooped up a spoonful of mush and stared at it. "He's got some plan to take over the earth?"

"It doesn't make sense," he replied. "Zim's plans are _always_ stupid, but this one… I'm not sure. He's drawing a schematic of a battle robot-"

"Wha? A what?"

"A battle robot. It would probably be sent from his leaders."

"His leaders? As in… _other_ aliens?" I pointed to the ceiling. "Out _there_?!"

"Yeah, they send him all kinds of weird stuff. But the robot's so small- I don't see how it could destroy anything."

"That's weird." The mush ooze gurgled and burped at me. Gently, I set the spoon down, praying it wouldn't detonate .

"I know. I'm planning to sneak over to his base tomorrow night and see if I can blow it up. Usually, thwarting Zim's evil plans isn't that hard. He doesn't have much in the intelligence department," he smirked, tapping his temple.

"Yeah, I kind of noticed...Y'know, you have a big head for-"

"Please!" he cringed, looking slightly aggravated. "Don't…don't say that."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." An awkward silence passed.

_Beep beep beep… _Gaz's Game Slave continued to sound.

"Do you think…? Do you really, totally, _completely_ believe Zim is an alien? …That we're not alone in the universe?" _Did I just say that? Do I actually BELIEVE this alien business now?_ _This is just crazy…_

Just then, an inhuman scream echoed from the other side of the cafeteria. Dib and I turned to spot Zim hanging by one of the lights, swinging crazily and squealing about stinky worm babies and corn vampires.

Dib pointed. "Does that answer your question?"

"He's a moron," I said, awed. _A green moron, with rather feminine taste in clothing..._

"Exactly. Which is why he's too _stupid_ to take over the earth," Gaz summarized.

"…I think you're onto something, Dib. No, really… Something really, hideously WEIRD… I'd sure like to come with you and spy on his house…" _Yep: I'm officially off my rocker now._

"R-really?" Dib's eyes seemed like they would pop out of their sockets before he looked skeptical again. "You're not making this up, are you?"

"No, I'm very curious about Zim. Many need-to-know facts… like, what _planet_ he's from." We watched as the alien ran around the room, yelling curses and spewing corn mush on the other students. "He's the most interesting thing I've seen in a while...oh look, he's got a potato launcher." A random kid at what I guessed to be the "reject table" in the corner got pounded by a flying spud. _Ouch…_

"YOU… you wanna team up and stop ZIM?" Dib squealed in disbelief.

I shrugged. "Yeah, sure, why not? I've got nothing better to do."

"YES!" He screamed- right in my ear, I might add. "This is gonna be the best spying trip EVER!"

"Stop making noises before I feed you to my security dolls!" Gaz threatened, vaporizing another pig. I was starting to develop a distaste for Dib's sister.

"But… we're at Skool…" He looked around nervously before turning to me. "I'll call you later. Wait! Where do you live?"

"Right down the road from here, on Stenson Street," I answered. "We just moved in about a month ago."

"Perfect!" he scribbled down his number on a scrap of paper and handed it to me. "That's only like two blocks away from my house! Do you think you can come over tomorrow?"

"If I can finish all my homework, I think so."

Zim crashed into a vending machine behind us, angrily pulled out a laser gun, and reduced it to a smoking pile of ashes. A random teacher grabbed him by the collar and hauled him away, probably to the principal's office. _So the space boy has LASERS, hm? _I'd always thought lasers were pretty cool.

"AWESOME!" Dib squealed, still ecstatic.

I was just about to tell him that I had a lot of homework to do this week and the whole spying thing _might_ not work out, but the bell stopped me. "Oh," I sighed. "Looks like it's back to tutoring for me. And math time for you."

"Great," he groaned, standing. "C'mon, Gaz."

"You WILL face a horrible fate, Dib, unless you shut your face right now!" He recoiled in fear, motioning for me to follow him out. I did the smart thing and obeyed.

* * *

When the last skool bell finally rang, I shouldered my backpack and headed home, only stopping once to buy a raisin-flavored ice cream from that one vendor on the corner because he wouldn't stop yelling at me.

"UGH! ICE CREAM! BUY IT OR **ELSE**!" he waved a shrieked, weilding a huge crowbar.

"Okay, okay, dude, chill!" I laid down about three bucks and took the ice cream greedily, devouring my first real food in hours. I licked it as I weaved my way through the sidewalk crowd toward my street, through people going no particular direction. One guy was just walking in circles… It was plausible to wonder, in moments like this, if there _wasn't_ some more advanced species out there. If said race did, in fact, exist, they'd sure make for better company than these loons, whoever they were.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed a shadow moving next to me. When I turned, expecting to see someone, nobody was there. _I could've sworn I just saw someone… And that's the second time people have disappeared on me today. _I kept walking, staying vigilant, because I knew hobos were sneaky and liked to kidnap kids for money. Even though I was sixteen, I wasn't going to risk getting swiped by some corn-eating, cart-pushing, trench-coat wearing-

_There it is again!_ I felt someone's presence right next to me, as if there was a child I was walking home with. When I glanced down, there was nothing but an old wad of gum on the pavement and a plastic grocery bag tumbling down the sidewalk. _Okay…I'm either REALLY paranoid, or I've officially gone insane… _Finally, after another five minutes of suspiciously staring at every pedestrian in sight, I opened the front door to our house. Like the rest of the houses in the area, it was narrow and stood two stories tall. I slammed the door and dumped my backpack on the ground inside.

"Hannah!" my dad called from the kitchen. "You're home! And guess what? I'm making _tacos_!" he grinned, showing off a tray full of black, charred corpses I guessed were somehow supposed to pass as edible food.

"Uh, thanks, dad, but… I ate on the way." _Well, it's true._

"Are you sure? Cause I made muffins too!"

I hesitated. _Muffins…_"Nah, that's okay." It was a safe bet anything my dad made would be highly flammable and dangerous to come within ten feet of. "But I had this weird feeling walking home… like someone was following me… whenever I turned around there wasn't anyone there. It was really bizarre. Don't you think that's strange, dad?"

"Hm?" He stuffed four blackened taco shells in his mouth at once. "Oh, yeah, uh-huh."

"...Well, I'm going upstairs now, if you don't mind." I left my dad alone with the oven, mounting the stairs to my room. "Time to check on the weather report for this weekend's game." I opened up my computer and went to the weather page on the Channel 6 News website. This Saturday, the two biggest football teams in the state were competing for the championship. I wasn't a diehard football fan, but I was curious and had nothing else to do except homework. "Hm… let's see. "_Cloudy clouds..." _Can there even _be_ any other kind of clouds? Well, that doesn't look too good… Huh- forecast is… seventy-three degrees, with a slight chance of hailstorms… Hailstorms?! What kind of idiots do they take us for?!" President Man needed to seriously invest in some state of the art, meteorologist technology: something that could actually _go up in space,_ for instance, would be good. Since NASAPLACE had cut their funding six years ago, our space endeavors had been nothing but pathetic.

I climbed into bed, even though it early. Tutoring those kids had taken a lot out of me, and I had to get up early tomorrow morning to do it all over again. For once, I wished I could go to hi skool math class…

No! No I didn't! I still had _some_ common sense!

* * *

Around two a.m., I woke to an annoying, incessant beeping from across the room. I blinked sleepily and moaned at it to shut up. When it didn't obey, I rubbed my eyes and sat up, glaring at my computer screen. "What the heck is THAT…?"

There were blinking red lights on the Channel 6 site I'd left up, and an image of some guy giving a report. Usually, they didn't put that particular red-eye shift weatherman on unless something big was happening, such as a tornado warning. I climbed out of bed and padded over to the computer. "_- is keeping a scanner on it to see if we can determine its origin. We still don't know what might be causing this huge disruption in the cloudy clouds this morning, but we'll let ya know as SOON as we get anything. Now I'm gonna go drink coffee! Woo!"_

_Ugh…_ Some people were too hyper too early. Note to President Man- hire new weather people, too: ones who could come up with more intelligent adjectives to describe the atmosphere. _Now, what's this about an unidentified-? _My eye caught something moving across the video feed, and I enlarged it, squinting at the screen. "What...?" A huge shadow seemed was being cast over the clouds, but the source was out of the shot, and unidentifiable in shape. "It could be a weather balloon…" I said doubtfully. That's always what Professor Membrane wrote phenomena like this off as. But that thing was way too big to be a weather balloon, and I knew it. It also appeared to be moving a lot faster than a balloon, almost as if it the object was falling through the atmosphere. "What the heck…?" I dug the scrap of paper with Dib's number out of my pocket. I punched in his number, pressed _Call_, and waited.

"If anyone would know what this thing is, Membrane's son will," I reasoned. "His dad _is_ the "savior of all mankind," after all, right?"

"Hello?" Dib answered groggily.

"Hey, it's your tutor calling. Have you checked the weather station lately?"

"No… Why?"

"There's something I think you'll want to see...up above the cloudy clouds."

"I HATE that weather channel," he complained.

"Me too, but just turn on your TV and look at it!" A few seconds passed, and then I heard him gasp.

"What? You see it, right?" I asked. "The big shadow thing?"

"Oh, I SEE it alright. I just don't know what it..." The silhouette grew darker on the cloudy backdrop, shrinking in size until it broke through. It came into view: what must have been an impossibly huge box flying through the air. The thing was huge enough to take up the entire screen, and as it cut through the clouds, it disappeared immediately afterwards underneath.

"Whoa!... What _was_ that?!"

"Oh, no…" Dib muttered. "This is NOT good. I'll have to… have to make plans… tonight, or, or… postpone the spying mission, or maybe if I recruit the Eyeballs-"

"DIB!"

"Yeah?"

"You know what that… THING is?" I asked fearfully.

"Unfortunately, yes," he replied anxiously. "I've seen a few others like it since Zim came around…"

"It has something to do with _Zim_?" I asked, completely baffled. What could it possibly have to do with…? It COULDN'T be the…

"Hannah, meet me at the school _right now-_ we have to stop him!"

"Right now?! But…" I shook my head. "Dib… what IS it?"

It was a good ten seconds before he answered. "... It's the robot. In a huge box- the one I saw Zim drawing yesterday! Only, it isn't tiny, like I thought: it's huge!"

"But… that's impossible! There AREN'T ALIENS! ... It…that can't be a robot- it's way too _big_!"

"I have a monitoring device tracking it right now: it's headed straight for downtown! He's gonna do something _horrible_!"

"What's he going to do?!" I demanded, already knowing the answer full well.

"Hannah… His leaders are sending it so he can destroy Earth."

* * *

**Now, because there are no new fun facts this chapter, enjoy this Shakespearean sonnet parody of "My Mistress' Eyes Are Nothing Like the Sun," dedicated to our favorite ice cream vendor from the show:**

**My Vendors Screams Are Nothing Like Controlled**

**My vendor's screams are nothing like controlled**

**Incinerators are far more cold than his wares cold**

**If creme be creme, why then, his ice is sludge**

**If stands be stores, ruined stores are where he sells**

**I have seen cones chocolate, plain, and square**

**But no such cones see I in his drawer**

**And in some singers is there more delight**

**Than from the voice he accosts with, so sure**

**I love to pass him up yet well I know**

**His quote is nearly canon, so it lives**

**I grant I never liked him, regardless-**

**His "Nightmare" warbling is comedically horrid**

**And yet, by fanfics, I think my tribute rare**

**As any, though ungarnered, that are there**


	3. Storm before the Calm

_On the far-away planet of Paetin..._

"Fan a little harder, Smack."

"Yes, my lord." The rock creature picked up speed.

"You- lower life form- get me a Poop Cola!" The servant saluted and hurried off. "And none of that diet, fat-free crap!" he called. "I want the works!" Invader Flobee leaned back in his throne and sighed contentedly. Everything was going according to plan…The capital city below was silent, gleaming under the light of the three moons in the purple sky. Here and there, lights flicked off as workers retired from their long day in the mines. All was quiet from atop the palace roof: quiet and satisfactory. "Smack," he called, after a minute. "I need you to ready my Voot Cruiser. I want to take a trip to the beach tomorrow morning- I hear they have excellent sand there…"

More silence. "…Smack!"

"Yes, my lord…" the servant answered slowly from behind the throne.

"You aren't _ignoring_ me, are you?"

"No, sir…"

"Well, then, _get_ my Voot Runner already!"

"I… don't think that'll be necessary, sir."

Flobee spewed Poop Cola and whirled around angrily, standing on the seat of his throne. "Did you just question _me_? I _know_ you did _not_ just throw away the remainder of your pathetic life, slave!"

"Sir, there's a little problem you might want to know about."

The Irken stared incredulously. "…What? What could it possibly be, Smack, that is more important than my trip to the-" Stone stepped aside, and Flobee gasped. "Oh…my…" Standing behind Smack were dozens of citizens, all of them armed. Their weapons were aimed at the invader; and, for the record, all of them looked extremely incensed. "…Irk…" he finished, staring wide-eyed. "_What_ do you all think you're doing?!"

"Taking back our planet!" The guy in front said gruffly, waving his gun. "Taking back our _power_!" A few of the others shouted in agreement.

"What…? I… this is… impossible!" he shouted. "Nothing stands against an Irken invader! No one!" A huge hand gripped his collar from behind, lifting him into the air. He twisted around and found himself face-to-face with a big, meaty rebel.

"Just did," the rebel said in a baritone voice.

"No! Wait! Unhand me at once!" The mob dragged him to the edge of the roof, many smiling satisfactorily. _…Hadn't the satisfaction just been _mine_, a moment ago?_ he thought._ What went wrong?! _"This is your last chance!" the Irken shouted furiously, kicking and punching. "Let me go now and I promise you, we'll only blow up your planet a little!"

"Liar!" the big rebel threw him to the floor. Smack and the others loomed above him, dark silhouettes against the night sky. Eager expressions lit their faces despite the darkness. Smack aimed his barrel straight at the victim's heart. He didn't grin, or look especially thrilled, but he addressed him smoothly, with a careful expression. "Any last words, invader? Any… _regrets_?" The last word resonated in the tense air, forcing into Flobee's mind every harsh act he'd ever committed against these people.

"Please…" he said, fear suddenly etched into his features. "I-I can offer you tribute!"

"We don't _want_ your stinking tribute!" A crowd member yelled.

"We want our planet back!" Called another. Several others echoed him.

"This planet is stupid anyway!" Flobee cried said desperately. "I can make it _much_ better- add bowling alleys, build arcades...I'll even throw in a swimming pool! Really, if you let me go, I'll make it worth your wh-"

Smack impulsively jammed his barrel into the Irken's chest. "I think that's enough words," he said quietly. The rebels snickered assent.

"What do you think you're doing?" Flobee cried, backing to the edge on his hands and feet.

The gun followed him. Smack's emotionless face shone in the pale moonlight, his wide eyes fixed on the disgraceful invader. The last words the Irken heard out of his mouth sent chills through his body. "Starting a revolution."

* * *

The Massive's Control Room was quiet, as usual, in the middle of the workday. Technicians typed away at keyboards, but other than that, the sounds of the Tallest snacking were all that pervaded the deep silence of space. That is, until the door at the back of the room swished open and a relatively tall servant raced to the middle platform. "My Tallest!"

"…What is it?" Purple complained. "We are _kind of_ in the middle of an important activity!"

"My apologies, sirs, but we've just received an automated signal from planet Paetin."

Red sighed, reluctantly setting his bag of popcorn on a table and turning to look at the servant. "So? That's the one Flobee conquered, right?"

"Yes, sir. The signal was from his SIR unit. It self-destructed."

Purple eyed him now, momentarily forgetting about his food, too. "What? …But that doesn't happen unless the invader no longer needs its services… or…"

"- or the invader is dead, sir," Zit finished. "We believe he was attacked, my Tallest…by rebels." He fished out a file and handed it to Red.

"Rebels…" Purple slowly tasted the all-but-completely-foreign word. Rebels didn't happen. There _were_ none- that survived the span of a few hours, that was. His eyes scanned the report quickly over Red's shoulder, catching one or two words at a time.

After a few seconds, the crimson Tallest handed it back. "You're sure he didn't just get annoyed and destroy the thing? We've had cases like that, you know. Quite often, actually."

"I'm afraid not. Some of his cameras picked up images of his palace: it's in ruins. His Voot Runner...well, it's destroyed, sir. Invader Flobee is dead."

The two were silent, letting this news sink in.

_Rebels..._

* * *

_Left, right, left, right…Don't forget to breathe. Jump over the knocked-over trash can. Left, right, left right… Don't step on the sleeping dog. How is that dog even sleeping? THERE'S A FREAKING ROBOT ON THE LOOSE!_

The weather channel feeds had shown the huge box falling through the sky that had just crashed not half an hour earlier, presumably at Zim's. He'd wasted no time making use of the GigaDoomer inside. What's a GigaDoomer? It's basically your standard MegaDoomer, except about eight times bigger. And presently, it was destroying the city faster than the giant mutant hamster had done all too recently (and who on earth could forget that day?).

I'd managed to get out of the house before chaos struck without my dad noticing. I ran back toward the Skool, still plagued by that weird sensation of being followed from earlier; but considering the fact that the ground was shaking under my feet and children ran screaming through the streets, I chose to ignore it. My watch read 6:30 a.m...hopefully the Skool would be unlocked and we could get to the safety of the underground bunker. Yes, they had an underground bunker/bomb shelter. No, that wasn't weird at all.

Suddenly, a huge explosion rocked the ground and I lost my balance, sprawling out in the middle of the road. A swerving car honked its horn and careened around me. "Get out of the way!" The driver yelled.

"Sheesh…" I stood and brushed myself off, turning to find the Skool again. Once I reorientated myself, I broke into a run. Sirens erupted in the distance, fires licked the roofs everywhere, and every so often an insane cry of joy would ring through the cool dawn air, followed by another big explosion. There wasn't any doubt in my mind who it was, now- I just wanted to know where he went robot shopping- I mean, I could _see_ the thing from here!

It was taller than the Empire State Building-its head seemed to touch the clouds. As I watched, it shot a laser at a nearby hospital, and Zim squealed in victory. _The alien kid has issues._

"Hannah!" I heard Dib calling and turned.

"Hey, have you SEEN that thing?" I pointed.

He looked at me as if to say, "_A__re you seriously asking me that_?" and motioned for me to follow. "The bunker has a secret entrance in the janitor's closet, c'mon!" We ran inside the building as the sirens grew continuously louder, traversing halls until we finally made it to the closet near Miss Bitters' room. The rest of the Skool seemed to be deserted, but when we stumbled down the stairs, the bunker was occupied by at least twenty other students, all huddling in corners, crying their eyes out or screaming.

"Hey, guys! Calm down!" I tried. "This bunker is perfectly safe!"

An explosion rocked the ground, and dust and debris rained down on our heads. "Don't tell them THAT!"

"What do you want me to tell them, then?!"

"I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!" Zim's distant voice came from above.

"I don't wanna be destroyed!" Melvin wailed, and about a dozen other kids joined him.

I looked at Dib helplessly. "Isn't there any way we can stop it? Don't you usually have some sort of PLAN for this?!"

"I didn't know it was that big, c'mon!"

"Well, haven't you stopped Zim before?"

"Yeah, but the MegaDoomer self-destructed and I never got a picture!"

"What does that have to do with _anything_?!"

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Zita wailed, banging her head against a wall.

"That can't be good for your brain," Brian said casually. "Hannah! Zita's in a state of mental stupidity!"

"I can see that, Brian, but at the moment I'm trying to deal with an insanely large robot from _space_ and a Professor's son who doesn't know how to stop it!"

"If we can just get to ground level without being obliterated," Dib began pacing the room. "We can figure out how Zim's powering the robot and shut it down- last time the Tallest forgot to send batteries, so he had to plug it in!"

"…Sorry, you lost me. Who with the WHAT, now?"

"The Tallest. Zim's leaders. They're taller than everyone else."

"…_What_?!"

"Look, I can explain later, okay? The longer we wait down here, the more people are getting destroyed!" He gestured to the ceiling. "Now are you coming, or not?"

"Hm… giant robot of death…. Or staying here with a bunch of insane skool children…" He started running up the stairs.

"WAIT FOR ME, DIB!"

Gradually, we made it back to the outer hall. I was close behind him as he burst through the door, when suddenly, a different one flew open in front of me. I looked up to see the person inside looming over me: about six feet tall, wearing a white cotton shirt, black pants, and sporting wild, unkempt, hair. His eyes were narrowed into angry slits, and his mouth was curled into a dangerous frown. For a moment, I stood there, wondering who he was and what he could want with me. Then it hit me, all at once, and I gasped, "Dwicky!"

"They told me you were around here." His voice was dangerously low.

"W-what are you...they said you..._died_!" I faltered. "When you disappeared-"

"Well, I didn't!" his eyes widened slightly. "I survived, although you wouldn't care a bit, would you? You only care about yourself."

"I…" I was shocked into silence. _Dwicky is alive? But… HOW?_ Memories flooded my mind, recollections of us before he'd vanished almost six months ago. Some were more painful than others...

"Confused?" he grinned maliciously, as if amused.

"How are you…even….? After all this time?" I knew my time was running out, and Dib was probably far from the Skool by now; but my curiosity held me back. I finally grew angry enough to demand, "How did you survive?"

"Like I'm going to tell you!" He shot back. "After what you did to me?! I don't think so."

_Not this again!_ "Please, why can't you just forgive me and move on? I've forgiven you!"

"You've forgiven _me_," Dwicky repeated, mockingly putting a hand on his chest. "Surprising you'd say that, when you're… No. Forget it," he decided, grabbing the door handle and hissing, "I'm not stooping to your level anymore, hi skool tutor."

"You can't just come back from the dead and not even talk to me! Explain, Dwicky, now!" I surprised myself with my ferocity, but he seemed unfazed.

"Not likely. We're through here," he swung the door closed. "I believe you have a _student_ to catch and a giant robot to stop...I have to say," he paused. "I've seen my share of super weapons- I own quite a few, actually- but that thing...is impressive." He nodded once. "Good luck not dying."

"But- wait..."

"Goodbye, Hannah."

"Dw-"

_**SLAM!**_

I clenched my hands into fists, tempted to kick the door but knowing he'd only make fun of my childish behavior. "Dwicky! I'm not done with you!" Silence. I heard the lock click and cursed under my breath. Who did he think he was?

The door at the end of the hall burst open. Dib ran inside, gasping for air, and saw me standing there. "What are you doing?! Come on! Zim's destroying the city! If we don't shut that robot down now, everything's going to be toast!"

"Right!" I shoved Dwicky to the back of my mind as I flew out the door after him. I looked up, stopped dead in my tracks before remembering I had to run for my life, and had only one thought: _That is one freaking big robot... _It was practically on top of us now, only a few streets away. Dib sprinted straight for it. "Wh-what are you DOING?" I screamed.

He turned. "Uh, running toward it so we can shut it down?"

"We- I can't- that thing's… _It's gonna kill us_!"

"Don't freak out-!"

"No, I _am_ freaking out!"

"Okay, just calm down," he waved. "Look, the sooner we pull the plug on this thing, the less people get obliterated! Just come with me!"

"You sound like you know what you're talking about."

"I do! Listen, I promise it won't hurt you- Zim's never been smart enough to cause any lasting damage!"

"What about the hamster last fall?!"

"...Just forget about it."

I glanced at the enormous death machine, terror coursing through me. Then again… we were the only two who knew enough about Zim to know what it was and, potentially, how to stop it. We had to do this now, for the good of the oblivious nearby inhabitants. I turned back to him, scared but somewhat resolved. "…You sure?"

"Positive!"

"Okay...let's go!" We ran through the skool parking lot, jumping over more turned-over garbage cans and weaving around abandoned cars. The demon machine crushed a twenty-story building a mile from our neighborhood.

"Where is somebody going to plug that thing in?" I panted.

"Why do you ask _me_ these questions?" Dib complained.

We sprinted straight for the huge robot, which, for the record, was probably the stupidest thing I'd ever done in my life. Every time another mansion or business was destroyed, the ground shook under my feet and I'd scream because I was sure we were going to die. After about ten minutes of this, I began to get the feeling it was kind of getting to Dib. A car dealership got obliterated, and I shrieked in horror. Dib kept looking back annoyedly, but didn't say anything. By the time we got to his block, almost all the other houses had been obliterated. _Great. On my college resume, I can now put experience in tutoring _and_ getting crushed by enormous alien robots!_

"ZIM!" Dib glared at the machine's top. A small green head poked out. "Stop this! Your mission's a lie! The Tallest don't care if you destroy the earth, they just want _you_ destroyed! Quit wrecking the city and get down here before the military shows up!"

"You and that human military ally of yours can't stop me, Dib!" Zim shouted in response. "I've already wrecked the military base! Now the city has no defenses left to stop the GigaDoomer!"

"…Giga-what?"

"I dunno," I shrugged.

"It's the most powerful robot in the Irken military! Its power source is top secret and requires far more energy that _Earth_ outlets could ever produce!" Zim bragged.

"… It's plugged in back at your secret base, isn't it?" I guessed.

"…SILENCE!"

"Come on, Hannah," Dib said, walking around one of the GigaDoomer's gargantuan feet. "Let's go shut this thing down."

"Fine by me."

"Wait! No! Stop! …I AM ZIM!"

"We got the memo," I waved, following Dib. We ignored Zim's attempts to shoot out our brains (I'd like to point out his aim is horrible point blank) and his screams of protest.

"YOU SHALL NOT DEFEAT ZIM! ZIM SHALL RULE! When I am the humans' slave master, you two will be the _first_ to be painfully mutilated!"

"He never quits, does he?"

"Not unless you can think of some way to shut him up," Dib replied. "I haven't found any so far, and it's been a while."

"I'll see what I can do," I grinned, walking up the steps to Zim's strange-looking, green house. Frowning at the tacky gnomes scattered in the yard, I stepped inside, wondering what in the universe could be inside the base of an alien invader… The first thing my eye caught was the little, blue robot eating popsicles in front of the Scary Monkey Show.


	4. Stilts

_Underground, inside a strange, circular, pink chamber..._

"...Red wire!" I handed him the red one. "Blue wire!" I sighed, handing over the blue one.

_KZZZZRT! _A volts of electricity ran up Dib's body. His pained yell went nicely with the emergency sirens in the background.

"Dib! You've been trying to put the same two wires together for twenty minutes! Give it up!"

"I'm almost there," he insisted, sticking out his tongue in concentration. "If we can just reverse hot-wire the robot, it'll shut down the stream of power and…" I tuned him out with a sigh and leaned back on my heels, gazing around Zim's lab.

"Y'know, you'd think for an alien invader, Zim's base would be a little more…dangerous." I frowned at a rubber pig that shook itself awake, stood, and walked off.

"That's nothing," Dib said without looking up. The wires crackled as he tried in vain to fit them together. "You should've seen the time he flew Mars around like a giant spaceship and almost rammed it into the earth!"

"Yeah, yeah, just hurry up!" I glanced at a monitor displaying the news. "I think the Channel 6 building just got destroyed- again!"

"I'm almost done!"

I growled and shut my eyes in annoyance as he let out another cry of pain. "What are you trying to accomplish, exactly?"

"I told you- I'm trying to cut the power connection!"

"By sticking those wires together?"

"Yes! Do you have any better ideas?"

I walked over to the nearest outlet and yanked a huge plug about the size of a washing machine out of the wall. One of those classic powering-down noises was followed by silence. The huge robot on TV stopped suddenly, one of its feet in a river, the other in a huge rose garden. I glared at Dib.

"…Oh," he smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Guess I should've noticed that… hehe…"

"Ya think?!"

Suddenly, a huge explosion rocked the earth. Even underground, the metal walls shook. I didn't have to guess what it was- when I looked back at the screen, the GigaDoomer was no more. In its place were about a dozen confused-looking people and a couple police cars.

"Huh," Dib mused. "That didn't happen when Zim pulled the plug on the MegaDoomer…"

"Well, maybe this model is more stupid or something. I don't really care. I just hope my house hasn't been obliterated yet."

"Do you think Zim was inside it?"

"It wouldn't surprise me… he doesn't seem like the sharpest knife in the drawer..."

"Ooh! It's starting to rain stuff!" Dib pointed. Indeed, pieces of the machine were falling in the surrounding area.

"That can't be good."

"Nope." _KZZRTT! _"AHH!"

"What are you _doing_?" he had the wires in hand again.

"Trying to blow up Zim's base!" _KZZRT!_

"…While we're INSIDE IT?" He seemed to consider this for a moment. I growled and snatched the wires away angrily. "Look, let's just get the heck out of here before-"

_CLICK! _A mechanical noise echoed throughout the lab from the roof. My eyes shot to the ceiling, where a circular plate- an elevator- was lowering into the chamber. Dib and I whispered to each other quickly. "It's Zim!"

"How's he back yet?"

"I don't know, but we gotta get out of here."

"Where?"

"Up there!" he pointed to an extremely thick wire hanging loosely from the ceiling. There wasn't time to argue. We ran across the room, scampering up the thick, tube-like wire just as the elevator touched down. Dib and I hid behind the pinkish surface, and I silently prayed Zim wouldn't see us.

"GIR!"

"Yes!" a robot with blue eyes- no, red now- saluted.

"Get the Tallest on the line! We must report in on the destruction of our amazing military machine… again."

"Yes, sir!" The little robot walked over to the control panel. Before he could press any buttons, however, the screen turned to static, and then a logo I guessed to be their alien symbol, or something, appeared.

"What's going-?"

"Shhh!" Dib insisted.

Two figures suddenly materialized on screen. They looked a lot like Zim- green skin, similar clothing, and pupil-less eyes- except they were much taller. I guessed them to be about Dwicky's height… Ugh. Dwicky. _NOT going to think about him right now. _One of the aliens had blood-red eyes and clothing, the other, lavender. They both glared hatefully at the little alien on the other side of the transmission.

"ZIM."

"Heh heh…my Tallests!" He managed to conjure up way too much enthusiasm. "How nice of you to call! So early…" On a side monitor, GigaDoomer shrapnel continued to rain on a local hospital. The Tallest glared loathingly at him. "I'm, uh… guessing you saw that."

"We got an automated self-destruct signal," The red one said venomously.

"…Really?" Zim squeaked.

"_Again_," the purple one spat, equally ticked off.

"I-it's not what you think! It's the DIB-human! He must have… yes, he must have broken into my base and pulled the plug out of the wall! Him and that horrible military female, girl…thing!"

"Uh-huh, sure.

"Whatever."

"No, really! I had everything under control until _they_ showed up- just look at the destruction I wreaked over the city!"

"You didn't do much better with the MegaDoomer, actually…" the purple one muttered.

"LIES! Hey, and I thought you said the MegaDoomer was the most powerful robot in the Irken military!" Zim accused. "I didn't even know the GigaDoomer existed until this morning!"

"We said the most powerful _stealth_ robot, Zim!" The red one growled. "Does the GigaDoomer look like a _stealth_ robot to you?"

"Uh…well, you know, when you squint at the debris in the light, it-"

"Look!" The purple one cut in. "You've failed, Zim! Again! I don't even think I have to go over what happened with Impending Doom One!"

Zim shuddered. "So… many… Vort Dogs…"

"Vort Dogs?" I frowned.

"Shhh!" Dib hissed.

"Then you somehow escaped Foodcourtia, and we exi- I mean, sent you to earth…"

"Miserable… humans… so… smelly!"

"And _now_ you wreck the GigaDoomer, our latest war innovation, right in the middle of a revolt!"

"… A revolt?"

"Don't even bother getting any ideas about us telling you!" the red one said.

"Yeah! It's not like we would ever tell _you_ about the rebels on enemy planets, rising up to destroy invaders or making them slaves, all to get back at the Armada for our many injustified crimes of… injustice!"

Everyone stared at Purple.

"Um…" Zim frowned, "I don't get it."

"Oh, you're going to _get_ it," the red one grinned gleefully, rubbing his hands together. By now, mostly judging by Zim's cowering demeanor, I was beginning to figure out the Tallest were the leaders of this "mighty" alien empire. But what all this about a revolt? "The point is, you've destroyed Irken war technology for the last time, Zim. We can't afford to be sending you battle tanks and aircraft if you're just going to blow them all up! We're officially cutting you off the shipping line- nothing will be sent _to_ you, and we won't be getting any more of-" the Red one held up a fluffy pink bunny rabbit and frowned at it. "-whatever these are."

"My rabbit!" I said suddenly, recognizing it.

"Wait- that Christmas teleporter guy was your dad?" Dib gaped.

"Shhh!" I clamped a hand over his mouth.

"But... but... you can't take away my mail privileges!" Zim protested. "The GigaDoomer was a mistake! It went crazy!"

"So did the MegaDoomer _and_ that SIR unit of yours," the Purple one sniffed. "If you can even call it a SIR."

"Our decision is final, Zim. I've already contacted the people on Planet Callnowia and the place where that _idiot_ screwhead switched the stupid packages!"

"Poor Tenn," Purple sad sadly.

"Yeah, poor _Tenn_. Eight weeks in that mental ward…" He shook his head. "Though, I can't say she didnt deserve it in the first place. Oh, one more thing- we're taking your Voot Runner."

"What? Noooo- wait," Zim frowned. "Then how am I supposed to get off of Earth?" The Tallest grinned. "…Noooooo!"

"Now if you don't mind, Zim, we have better things to do with our lives than-"

Suddenly, Dib leaned too far forward. Since we were latched onto each other, our momentum carried us over the edge of the huge wire. I felt my heart leap into my throat as we plummeted and landed with a loud _bang_ on the metal floor. My spine felt like it had cracked in two. Dib scrambled to his feet, trying to maintain some sort of dignity, but it was too late: they were all staring at us.

"Brilliant, Dib," I muttered, painfully getting to my feet.

"YOU!" Zim yelled. "What are _you_ doing in my base?!"

"Zim, who are these creatures?" the purple Tallest asked slowly.

"Th-They are- eh- my, uh… TESTING subjects…yes! They are simply, uh, experimental humans, ripe for testing! So ripe are they."

"I'm not your experimental subject! But now that I know your secret weakness, I'm going to stop you from destroying the human race, Zim!" Dib said overconfidently.

"But you…don't know my secret weakness…."

"Oh."

"…I… don't even know if I HAVE a secret weakness…"

"Oh… Okay then…" Dib scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Heh…"

"I'm surrounded by imbeciles," I moaned.

"Whoa- what's up with that one?" Purple pointed at me. "She's taller than both of them!"

"Hey, she is," the other agreed.

"What? I'm not…" I looked at Dib. "Well, by about a foot and a half, maybe, but only because I'm older. There are others taller than me- the tallest people in the human race are the adults."

"There's people taller than you?" the purple one said fearfully.

"I TOLD YOU!"

"Shut up, Zim!" Everyone shouted.

"How did you get into my base?" he demanded, pointing at Dib.

"We snuck in through the—Oof!"

I elbowed him in the ribs. "We are simply the… uh… ice cream delivery service, yeah! We have come to give this kindly fellow his order of mint chocolate chip ice cream." I removed a pint of ice cream from nowhere in particular and hurled it at him. "Thank you, kind sir, and have a nice d-"

Zim screamed, the ice cream making his flesh steam. He ran around the room until he found a jar of paste and poured it all over his head. "The mint! THE MINT!"

"Ahahaha!" Dib fell over in a laughing fit as Zim crashed around the room. His robot started screeching like some horrible, dying cow. which by itself was more terrifying than the GigaDoomer.

"Where are your stilts?" Purple said, looking at my feet. "They're pretty well hidden."

"Yeah, they are, aren't they?" Red mused.

"THE HORRIBLE MINT!"

"I'm not wearing stilts!" I said exasperatedly. "I'm 5'4! I know a counselor...well, anyway, He's like 6 feet! I bet he's as tall as you."

"No!" They gasped, as if I'd just informed them Zim had conquered the earth.

"Yes!" Dib insisted. "He flew off into space with the Pleukesians!"

"Oh no, he's back now."

"Oh, really?!"

"Yeah, he hates my guts. That, and he said something else, about a bunch of super weapons he has at his house now or something."

"Oh."

"M-hm."

A door slid shut behind us. Dib and I whirled around and simultaneously exclaimed, "ZIM!" The alien was gone, a puddle of green mint ice cream left pooling around the door.

"He must have gone to Dwicky's!"

"Aw, man, why did I mention the super weapons?"

We ran for the hall and turned one more time to look back at the screen. The Tallest were staring at us confusedly. "I'll stop the Armada!" Dib's voice echoed throughout the base as we ran from the room. "You'll never conquer earth while I'm around!_ My head's not big!_"


	5. Intergalactic Hitchhikers

We sprinted down the destroyed streets, following trails of green ice cream and burned things, as the sun set. We'd just rounded the corner to Dwicky's street, a road bearing a community of lavish, enormous houses, when it happened.

I caught sight of a flash of red hair- the color of a cherry slushie from Deelishus Weenie- as a tiny figure darted around us. Somehow, I lunged out and caught a small wrist- a dirty one. The girl yelped in surprise, and then grunted, "Let me _go_!"

I pulled her into the light of a streetlamp. "You were the one following me yesterday!" I accused.

She twisted in my grip. "So?!"

"Stop that!" I maintained a death grip on her, so eventually, she growled at me and gave up, breathing heavily. That's when I got my first good look at her. The girl was about five feet tall with long, straight red hair. Bangs covered her forehead. Her eyes were green, and they shone in the moonlight, in contrast with her dirty face. She wore a pink shirt with a yellow square on it, jeans, and sneakers. She looked tired, weak, and defeated.

"What's your name?" Dib asked. By now he'd joined us in the light.

"Why should I tell _you_ that?" she snarled. He recoiled in fear.

I forced her to look at me. "You were following me for a reason… whatever it is, I'd at least like to know who you are. What's your name?"

"…Ruza," she finally whispered, studying the ground. "Ruza..." She paused and shook her head. "Just Ruza. I'm twelve years old. I live with my…" She ground her teeth in frustration, "Mom- about twenty minutes from the cesspool. Can you let me _go_ now?!"

"The cesspool…" Dib muttered. "That's where the poorest people in town live."

"Dib! Be sensitive!"

"It's not like _you_ would know poor, professor stupidity!" she scowled. "You probably have a computer, a fancy car, oh, I dunno, what else?"

"An automated closet door…" Dib shook his head. "I mean, why were you following us?"

"Had to get away," she muttered.

"Get away from… home?" I tried.

"Look, it doesn't matter, okay?"

"Uh, yeah," I corrected. "It matters. It matters a lot, because you were stalking us!"

"I...saw you working with the other kids at the skool. You looked like you knew what you were doing. Common sense, y'know? I guess I admired that...and you're obviously chasing an alien: I'm not about to pass up an opportunity for cash like that. The government will pay big to get their hands on him."

"How did you know we were chasing an alien?!" Dib gasped.

"Get real, Brainiac- it's not that hard to tell. I mean, really: green skin!" Ruza shook her head. "Just because you've never known anyone with a lick of sense doesn't mean we don't exist. Take this one-" she pointed to me. "She could tell I was on her trail from the first day. You, on the other hand… you'd probably be so distracted, doing something else, like talking to some secret, nerdy society on your laptop, that you wouldn't even notice."

"Wha…I…" he stammered. "Who are you and why...?! Augh!"

She rolled her eyes and turned back to me. "So can you take me, or not?" Her voice was rough, but underneath was insecurity I guessed she didn't reveal often. While I was still wary of her, we could use the help; and she wasn't harming anyone, after all. She was nosy, but she seemed sharper than Dib, and if we were going to confront Dwicky and Zim together, we needed as many willing recruits as we could get. Plus...that look in her eyes...like she'd been rejected so many times...

"Of course, you can come with us." I smirked at Dib. "Having someone who actually knows what they're _doing_ along for this will be a pleasant change."

Dib looked completely incensed. "May I _remind_ you I kept Zim at bay for months before you two showed up?!"

"But he still managed to destroy the city today," Ruza commented. "And if we can't stop him from procuring those super-weapons, he'll probably do much worse."

We both gaped. Dib struggled to form words. "How much of the conversation did you HEAR?"

Ruza smirked. "I'm very good at hiding. That's why I hear everything. Now, let's go get Zim before our planet gets obliterated."

"...I think I see Dwicky's mansion from here!" Dib pointed to a huge, snow-white structure about two hundred yards away.

"Who's Dwicky?" Ruza asked.

I couldn't help myself from answering. "An idiot counselor… A moron… A self-serving, superior, immature jerk!" They both stared at me. "Oh...um, sorry…."

"He's a former counselor at my school who flew off with another race of aliens known as the Pleukesians," Dib explained.

"Sweet!" She grinned. "Let's go wreck his weapons!"

"Excuse me," I was still annoyed by and skeptical of this whole mission. "How do you know that's even Dwicky's house?"

"…Lucky guess!" Dib answered. "Now let's go!" With that helpful piece of wisdom, we bounded down the street together, and I silently wondered if Dwicky had insurance on mansions this huge, or, more importantly, security guards.

A couple minutes later, after Dib had fumblingly worked at the lock, and after Ruza had shoved him out of the way to pick it herself, the three of us tiptoed through the darkness, feeling our way around Dwicky's foyer. I hoped it was his foyer, at least, and not random aristocrat's: I didn't want to go to jail. One wrong step, and I knew we'd probably trip an alarm and that would be it. "Careful," Dib whispered. "We don't want to step on any sensor beams, or-"

The lights turned on and Zim's manic voice rang through the silence. "So, I find you on my trail, do I?!"

"That didn't take long," Ruza muttered.

"Eat this, miserable earth children!" A blue tractor beam enveloped Dib from above. I glanced up to see Zim hanging from a very expensive looking chandelier. He had a weapon in his hands and was aiming it at the professor's son.

"Hey!" Dib yelled, trying to swat away the energy that wound its way around his body. "Quit it!"

"Never! I shall have my revenge on you, Dib, and _you_ two will be next!"

"I seriously doubt that," Ruza commented. Zim's robot-Gir- was perched on a nearby railing, watching the scene with interest. "Hey, cool," She spotted him. "A robot!"

"Silence, red-haired female-worm!"

She glared back, hands on her hips. "_Make_ me!"

"Will someone get this blue stuff off me?!" Dib shrieked.

_"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?" _We all turned to Dwicky, who loomed furiously in the lobby doorway. He was probably one of the ten most frightening sights I'd seen in my lifetime, Gir's antics and the GigaDoomer being right up there, too.

"Dwicky!" Dib exclaimed. "Get me out of this! You'd better do something, you traitor!" The blue energy had encased his body entirely, and he started glowing like he was radioactive.

"Why should I?" he sneered. "Priorities, first, children: why do I have a skool dropout, it looks like, a paranormal geek, a selfish brat, and an Irken "invader" in my mansion at…eight p.m.?"

We all stared back at him. Dib commented first, "I don't like that description of us."

"Neither do I," Ruza said.

Zim regarded us kids mid-fire. "Can we all agree that was harsh and uncalled for?"

"Yep."

"Totally."

"I didn't like it."

"I'm giving you three seconds to get down from my chandelier and give back my conjoining ray," The counselor threatened darkly.

Zim glanced at the object in his hands. "Oh, your...what?"

"That's a _conjoining ray. _It fuses the tissue of whoever's on either side of the gun."

"HAHA! Brilliant! Tha…wait, _what_?" Before he could speak again, the blue energy dragged him off the chandelier and sent him crashing to the floor. Dib flew in the opposite direction. After another three seconds or so, there were two very confused faces looking back at me; and two boys joined at the wrist.

"That is so wrong, but hilarious at the same time!" Ruza chuckled.

Dib and Zim looked at each other, down at their joined hands, and back into each other's eyes. "Three, two, one…" I couldn't help smiling. They both erupted in blaring screams and strained against each other.

"Told you," Dwicky deadpanned, still looking peeved.

"GET OFF ME!" Zim punched Dib's face.

"What the heck was _that_ for?!"

"For being conjoined with me!"

"This is _your_ stupid fault! You're the one with the weapons!"

"No, that's him!" Zim pointed to Dwicky. "He did this!"

"Yeah! Let's get him!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys," Ruza stepped up. "Calm down, you two. Now, we all know that this is Zim's entire fault…"

Dib looked at her. "Yeah..."

"Who _are_ you?" Zim pointed confusedly.

"So let's just take this all into perspective…and…" she cracked up again. "I just can't take either of you seriously like that."

"I AM ZIM!"

"You brought them all here for my weapons?!" Dwicky glared at me.

"Oh, sure!" I gasped, slightly overwhelmed. "There are four others here destroying your place, and the first person you get onto is me?! That's perfect!"

"You aren't worth my time," he waved me off insistently, which was more annoying than if he'd yelled at me. "All I want you to do is get them out!"

Zim stopped wrestling with Dib long enough to regard the counselor. "I require your services to locate my confiscated Voot Runner. You will help Zim, or else-" He stopped to slap Dib again. "Don't you dare touch me!"

"We are _conjoined_!"

Ruza rolled on the floor, still laughing her head off.

"So then you're not here for my weapons. Mhm. I'm supposed to help you? Right, just what makes you think I'd help you recover your Voot Cruiser if it's been confiscated? Obviously, whoever took it thinks you're not responsible enough to drive it. Last thing I want is some Irken leaders blowing me and my house off the street."

"You know nothing!" Zim yelled. "Your opinion is insubstantial! I'm taking your Pleukesian ship and there's nothing you can do about it!"

"My ship."

"Well, you had to get back to earth somehow!"

He grinned. "You know, I could've been dropped off…"

"YOU'RE LYING!"

"Look, I'm not lending you my freakin-"

"YOU'RE LYING!"

Dwicky sighed, glancing off to the side.

"I'm going, too," Ruza said, managing to stand and wiping her eyes. "Any voyage into outer space has my name on it. Count me in. Think of the opportunities! I could become a famous astronaut, with the-"

"What?" Dwicky gaped. "No. Just...no." He grew more insistent, striding into the room to better command us. "No, no, no. Nobody's going anywhere with _my ship_!"

"I'll come, too, to see everything," I told Ruza. "You're right...this could be a great adventure!"

Dwicky started balled his hands into fists. "No freaking way are _you_ coming!" he screamed.

"Oh, Dwicky. Look! They're joined at the wrist and I'm...his...physics tutor! Yeah, so...you can save it!"

"Like any boy with that large of a head needs help with physics."

"I went over the head thing already," Dib scowled.

"And Zim, you do realize if I take you, I'll be taking Dib now, as well."

Zim growled at this and glared hatefully at the human beside him again. "I require no assistance. I will pilot your vessel myself, with this...monstrous, grotesque person attached to me."

"Nuh-uh," Dwicky shook his head. "Nobody's flying any ship of mine without me. That's not going to happen."

"Wait..." I was surprised. "You're actually considering listening to this alien?!"

"From what I've learned abroad, this particular one won't let up until I give him _something_," The counselor exhaled. "Irkens are stubborn like that."

"Irkens?"

"Yeah?"

"Oh, I just couldn't remember what they were called until now."

"Zim," Dwicky addressed the still-fuming invader. "There's two reasons I'm considering your offer, one being your inherent, universally-renown propensity to keep coming back and bothering those you _hate_-" He gestured to Dib, "and the second being my terrible case of cabin fever."

"I think you mean mansion fever."

"Shut up, Hannah, I still hate you, and I'm not listening to anything you have to say."

"Believe me," I scoffed, incredulous. "The feeling's completely mutual!"

"Cabin fever?" Zim queried.

"It's the disease-the mental disease-you get after being cooped up on a sorry thing like Earth for more than about two months at a time. If we're going to negotiate with the Tallest, at least it'll be a change up of my routine: I'm literally dying of boredom. Plus, there are people like this one, here," he gestured to me, "Who make up the definition of the human race as a whole." As I stood there, trying to control my inferno of rage, he started rattling off supplies needed for such a journey. "It'll be about six months, even with Dib's Irken ship, just to give everyone an idea of the sacrifice I'm going to be making on your behalf."

"Six months?" Ruza exclaimed.

"Does everyone know _everything_ about my life?!" Dib shrieked.

"Pretty much," Zim allowed himself a smirk. "After all, there isn't much to it. _Mysterious Mysterious_ and monitoring cameras- that's about ninety percent of your existence."

"_Will you be quiet, already?!_"

Six months in a spaceship with these people...as long as Dwicky didn't screw it all up, it was bound to be the most interesting thing I'd ever done...but I knew I'd have to tell my father where we were headed. Knowing him, he wouldn't believe it at first, and then he'd order me back home for my protection. When I told him I was with my old middle skool counselor, he'd recognize Dwicky and maybe lose a fraction of his concern. Still, I couldn't see him okaying my trip by any stretch of imagination...I'd have to make a point of calling him soon.

Dwicky was still ranting about the propensity of the Irkens to be annoyingly and ceaselessly persistent until Zim cut him off. "Enough of your useless talk, counselor-human! Zim shall now lead this epic quest to victory, and you shall all follow me to the Pleukesian ship unless you want to suffer the wrath of my evil robot!"

Gir's eyes glowed red and about forty-three assorted weapons of mass destruction sprouted from his canister of a head. "Let's have a slumber party!" He screamed.

"You think you have super weapons?" Dwicky scoffed. "I have ten storehouses in my mansion, all filled with hundreds of- "

"Your storehouses cannot possibly compare with the immense intricacy and advancement of Irken technology!"

"Oh, shut up, alien boy," Ruza snarled, no doubt mirroring everyone's sentiments. "Your robot there is proof enough of its advancement."

"Take me to the ship," Zim commanded Dwicky. "_Now_."

We walked out of the lobby and through many passages before coming to a staircase that led to a white, cement room. Inside the warehouse-sized chamber was the largest ship I'd ever seen, resting on a lauching pad half the size of a football field.

"What do you think?"

"It will work wondrously," Zim approved, grinning in foreseen victory already.

"Eh," I had to take the opportunity to tease the man. "It's...not that big."

"Are you kidding me?!" Dwicky shrieked. "Can you see-?"

"Yeah, I mean, I see it. It's just..." I shrugged. "Could be bigger. Could be better. Kind of reminiscent of your entire life, really."

"I hate you so much. Honestly, I do. You don't even comprehend how much I hate-"

"Can we get going?" Ruza interjected. "Nobody's getting any younger, here!"

"Yeah...you're just lucky I already had enough supplies packed on board for a trip like this, just in case," The counselor frowned, walking after Zim-Dib, who'd rushed up to the huge, silver vessel to inspect it.

Ruza and I hung back. "Why does he hate you so much?" she asked quietly.

"Eh...maybe I'll explain on our six month trip to_ fairy land_," I muttered. The door drifted down from the underside, and we all climbed aboard the alien ship.

Dwicky said sardonically, "I'm probably going to get killed, you all realize: because I'm helping you. Even though I really, really, don't want to. It's just because of my cabin fever...so, on that ebullient note, everyone ready to go get ourselves killed?"

"Never better!" Ruza grinned.

"Let's go see space!" I exclaimed, already growing overly-excited. NASAPLACE wouldn't have to tell me anything now! I could discover the universe for myself!

Zim gave his usual trademark victory scream, belting out some overused catchphrase. We all looked at Dib expectantly.

He blinked, looked around, and addressed Dwicky. "Um, not to kill the annoying mood in here, but...does this thing have Wi-Fi?"

* * *

Once we were airborne and the initial excitement of looking out the windows had abated, the idea of rooming came up. We'd made a mad dash for the living quarters, all getting lost on the way, rushing to procure the most desirable chamber for ourselves. Screaming rang throughout the ship as we wove through halls and rooms, racing one another. Zim-Dib's two voices especially, which constantly bickered, could be heard from everywhere.

"THIS ONE'S MINE!" Ruza darted into one of the doors just as I rounded the corner to the residential hall.

"Yes!" Dib exclaimed, followed by a loud beeping and a sound not unlike shock waves. When he and Zim rounded the corner, their hands were finally detached. Dib spun the device around in his hand, grinning smugly. "Found the reverse ray. That's right. Hold your applause, please. Really. No need."

Zim shoved him angrily before stalking past me, muttering about being dragged around for ten minutes by stinking humans. You could practically hear the crickets in the hall until Dib came back to reality and darted into another door next to Ruza's.

Dwicky walked up behind me. "Do you think he'll realize that's a broom closet?" I asked the counselor, who didn't answer. "…You're gonna have to get used to me," I frowned, already annoyed with him.

"That's where you're wrong," Dwicky retorted, not even glancing at me.

"What do you mean?" I gestured around us. "We're going to be on this thing for six months to get Zim's Voot back from the Tallest- you think you're just gonna avoid me for six months?"

"That's the general idea. As owner of this ship, I have full confidence in it's ability to be big enough for two people to ride in and never see each other."

_Dang, he's almost happy-he's almost _laughing_! _"Can't you just let go of the past?!"

"Can't you just leave me the heck _alone_ for a change?!" He shouted in return.

"Hey, I'm trying to arrange stuff, keep it down!" Ruza called, followed by a mysteriously glass-like crash. "…Oops..."

The counselor sighed, exasperated already. "Look. We're all doing this for our own reasons- I want to get out, you want to get out to see things I've already seen, and Zim wants his Voot back. Why don't you just go explore," he waved down the hall, away from him, "be content with the fact that I'm allowing you on my ship, and thank me for it by staying out of my way. Deal?"

_I'll run your stupid ship into the ground of some far-off, alien planet, deal!_ I fumed, but only stared at him challengingly.

Dwicky rolled his eyes. "Hannah, you have no idea about this, okay?" he gestured all around, indicating space. "Trust me when I say you're not the kind of person who can make it out here; not the kind of girl who'd be able to learn about all the complexities of the political systems, the empires, the conquests going on. You're just not that mature."

I might have answered, if Dib hadn't distantly exclaimed, "I found the dish soap!"

I replied as we stared at the door to the broom closet. "...You aren't incredibly mature yourself, mister get-up-and-leave-everyone-behind."

From behind us, Zim yelled from what I guessed was the kitchen. "What _are_ these things? They are neither human forks, nor are they spoons. What mad combination of earthly silverware is this?! Is it magic?"

Dwicky huffed and raised his voice louder than necessary to answer the only Irken on board. "THEY'RE _SPORKS_, ZIM! JUST TAKE ONE AND _DEAL WITH IT!_ …GEEZ!"

I waited for him to cool off for few moments before continuing. "You know...I didn't want to make you mad, although I know I did, back then…"

He glared at me and answered flatly, "I think you just won the understatement of the year award."

"Okay!" I threw up my hands. "I don't know what to say to you anymore! You shoot down everything I say down when I try to talk to you!"

"Then don't say anything," he returned, with an air of authority that ended the conversation. He stalked down the hallway in the direction we'd come, sighing as he turned into the kitchen to stop the sounds of beeping microwaves and crashing metal.

_Well, this is a GREAT start to our trip!_ I fumed, blaming him for everything though I knew I had created the problem between us before he'd left the first time. Part of me was angry with myself, for being unable to resolve our cold war even after all the time he'd spent in space. Maybe we'd never be friends again...I felt like telling someone, just to vent; but that wouldn't help me get on his good side any faster. Plus, I hadn't known anyone on this ship besides Dwicky for more than forty-eight hours, and this fight was personal. Maybe now that we'd be forced to interact, we'd get closer.

Another crash sounded from Ruza's room, followed by a loud, "Crap!" A scream sounded from the kitchen. I stood in the residential hall, anger quickly waning. Slowly, dread replaced it. Though I was excited for this dangerous adventure, I didn't know how I would survive for six months, hurtling through the great unknown and eating and rooming with _these_ four. _Please, please, _please_ let the ship have hyperdrive...or let something phenomenally interesting happen really soon. Then again...we did just launch into space.__  
_


	6. The Calm

"…Adjective."

"Annoying."

We were sitting on a comfortable couch that wound its way around a small chamber. Outside the ship, stars, galaxies, and nebulas floated silently by. I gazed out the window, lost in wonder. It was beautiful… The only thing to interrupt my reverie was-

"Noun?"

You guessed it: Dib.

"Loudmouth moron," Ruza muttered. "...with a big head." Dib frowned and returned to the paper. He tapped his chin with the pen and scribbled something down.

We'd been aboard the "_S.S. Idiot"_ now for more than a month, and frankly, it was starting to drive everyone a little crazy. I'd begged the ship's computer to find a hyper drive function, bigger rocket boosters- anything!- but so far we were stuck going regular speed, doomed to sit for five more months in this small, cramped chamber, with nothing but earh other, water, coffee, meager food supplies, and a thin Mad Libs pad.

"Verb!"

Dwicky hurled his book to the ground. "Shut _up_!" Have I mentioned the man's temper?

"…No, that's more of an exclamation."

"THAT'S IT!" Dwicky tackled him, the two crashing to the floor.

Dib squealing like a four-year-old. "Get off me!"

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Please!"

"That's more of an _exclamation_!"

"Guys!" I yelled. "Knock it off already!"

Of course, they didn't listen. After the first few days of trying to break up the boys' fighting, Ruza and I had all but given up. Dib had a problem with Dwicky for some past occurrence I didn't know about yet, and hadn't asked about. If he didn't want to be forthcoming about personal issues with the counselor, I understood him. Still, I hadn't had a physical fight with the counselor when I was fed up with him: this was ridiculous. I threw my hands up and stood, walking around them. "I'm going to get a snack from the kitchen."

"Get me somma those tacos," Ruza ordered, sitting back to read.

"Okay, okay." I walked through the silver halls I'd traversed a million times in the last month. Apparently, the Pleukesians had a long history of military strength. The problem was, they weren't that smart, so when their somewhat-capable ruler died, their conquests and accomplishments more or less took a nosedive: governments failed, the poor revolted, and similar happenings. Speaking of revolts, Zim hadn't shut up about the Irkens' dilemma the entire month. He didn't dare contact the Tallest, seeing as we were out to steal his Cruiser back, but we were all curious. Knowing rebellion specifics would at least have provided relief from horrible boredom.

As I opened the huge refrigerator in the kitchen and peered inside, I remembered the conversation I'd had with my dad the night we'd left.

_Flashback..._

_The ringing tone sounded three times before he picked up. _"…_Hello?"_

"_Dad! I caught you. Good. We need to talk."_

"_Oh, Hannah! So glad you weren't destroyed by that freak monster attack this morning. I'm living in the only hotel left standing in town! Isn't that great?"_

"_Um, yeah, dad. Listen, remember how I told you I felt like I was being followed yesterday?"_

"…_Now that you mention it, I do remember that."_

"_And remember how the Professor's son goes to that middle skool I started teaching at?"_

"_The big-headed child!"_

"_And remember how I told you how much I despise Mr. Dwicky, the counselor?"_

"_Yes!"_

_"Well, it just so turns out that… there's…when I went to this middle skool….I…."_

"_What is it?" He asked, naively eager._

"_Well…I, uh, met some new friends, and… they invited me on a year-long retreat to, uhm… Niagara Falls!"_

"…_Niagara Falls?"_

"_Yep. It's pretty awesome. They've got a tricked out van, lots of snacks, and we're heading to the Falls right now...oh, look, there's a friendly park ranger."_

"_You're telling me a middle skool is letting their kids go to Niagara Falls?"_

"_Yep."_

"_In a tricked out camper. In the middle of February."_

"_Uh-huh."_

"_For an entire year."_

"_Pretty much." I winced._

"_And you're going along because…?"_

"_U__h…it's an educational experience; and it will teach me to be more responsible in watching over kids." _Well, it will...

_"Well, I know I can trust you, so I'll tell you what. I'll let you go with them, but only if you call me every few weeks to update on your camping experience. Don't want you getting eaten by any wild animals or anything, okay, honey? Field trip for an entire year...huh. You'd think they'd let you off for summer or something. Gonna miss you- don't forget to call or write!"_

_End Flashback..._

I'd felt guilty, but I wasn't about to tell him I'd run off with an alien: aside from Dib's family, he'd be the first to call_ Mysterious Mysteries_ and get us all arrested for assisting in the earth's domination- he was just that obliviously enthusiastic. I poured myself a cup of orange juice and threw about five tacos in the microwave. When I rejoined the others, they were all gathered around a monitor. "...What's going on?"

"Shh! We're watching a newscast about the rebellion!" ordered Ruza. I peered at the screen with interest. _Finally, a clue to what the heck is going on around here._

"_-have news that at least nine planets have revolted so far. The Irken Empire is reportedly working to get these governments back under their control-"_

_KZZRT!_

"_We're live on Conventia for the conference of the Pleukesians!"_

"Hey! Who changed the channel?"

"Give me the remote!" Dib swiped it out of Dwicky's hands and flipped through the channels.

"Hey! That is _mine_!" Dwicky grabbed it back and pressed another button.

_KZZRT!_

"_New and improved Poop Cola is better for your health!...Ha! Yeah, right, ya suckers."_

"I had it first!"

_KZZRT!_

"_-are making plans for the EBT, the biggest tournament in the entire universe, which will happen, if everything goes as planned, in just a few mo-!"_

_KZZRT!_

"Finders keepers!"

"_Buy micro-goggles!...Heh, uh, what's my line again?"_

"They seriously need better advertising in this universe," Ruza sighed.

"Microgoggles!" Zim screamed, looking around like the walls were covered with spiders. "AAHHHHHH!"

_KZZRT!_

"_- while the rebels are staging attacks every few days-"_

"STOP!" Everyone shouted.

"…_more on that later."_ Some other reporter started talking, and we all stared at each other.

"Nine planets?"

"Attacks?"

"Rebels?!" Zim exclaimed.

Ruza said, "Well, if you've got one, big empire ruling the whole universe, don't you think eventually, someone will do whatever it takes to bring it down?"

We all looked at her as the logic of this sunk in. "Yeah," Dwicky acquiesced.

"NO!" Zim yelled. "The Irkens are more powerful than every other race in the universe! We will triumph over you all!"

"That's definitely why you're undermining your leaders to continue your..." Dib coughed a laugh, "_conquest_ of Earth. Right?"

"You seem in surprisingly good spirits. Is it cause of the rebellion?" Ruza asked.

Dib smirked. "Eh- good to know there are others out there on my side. Why do you think I agreed to come? Someone's got to keep an eye on the Irkens."

Zim growled. "You were conjoined to my _arm, _you liar. I need no one to keep obsessive watch over me: you just like to take the liberty of doing obnoxious, generally socially unacceptable things to everyone around you."

"That's not true!"

"Calm down, you two!" Ruza raised her voice. They both regarded her: she had the kind of authority even Dwicky (huh, forget Dwicky, even _Zim_) had grown to respect in just a month. Regardless of her meager thirteen years, and the fact none of us had known her on Earth, she'd already usurped an influential, if not quite a peace-making, position on board.

"No, he has no right to say that!" Dib ranted. "Just because the kids at skool were always too stupid to see through your stupid wig and contacts doesn't mean you have the right to go around-"

"Oh, you're right," Zim smirked, syrupy, mock remorse in his tone. "You did a much better job at being socially acceptable. Shall we replay your constant episodes of humiliation for everyone here to witness? I'm sure Dwicky's already known you long enough to know how much of an outcast you are- and with good reason. That's what I hate so much about humans- you're so inferior in wit, intelligence, military skills, aesthetic pleasingness, having normally-sized _crania_..."

"That's it!"

I didn't get between them fast enough this time, so it took a good five minutes to pull them apart and keep them apart. Dib just stormed off to his room, while Zim reclined on the couch again, looking smug, if slightly disgruntled. "Gir! Fetch me a soda!" The robot playing cards with himself on the floor saluted and promptly went to sleep. The invader growled and went to get it himself.

"Hey!" Dwicky called, walking out after him. "Don't you dare raid my fridge again after this morning!"

* * *

Dib stormed down the hallway, punched the button to his door, and flopped onto the bed.

His entire life's work had been aimed at protecting Earth, which became singularized around defeating Zim once he'd shown up. Being stuck on the traitor counselor's ship obviously wasn't Dib's vacation of choice- the pilot had issues with more than one passenger; but if Dib could keep an eye on that idiot invader, it would all be worth it. He'd go insane unless he looked at it like that. His goal was still to thwart Zim: he wasn't about to let him get his Voot back. This entire month, he'd been thinking about the repercussions of that happening, and he hadn't been idle. The notepad he now pulled to examine from his bedside drawer was one thing that had kept his indignant anger at bay. The others seemed not to care, which only fueled his animosity towards Zim.

When he finally set his pencil down, a satisfied smirk had replaced his stressed scowl. He'd always been the initiator. His plan wasn't foolproof, or terribly complete yet; but he did have one for when they reached the Massive, and the only thing that mattered about it to him was that Zim wouldn't be flying or doing anything to harm the Earth again any time soon.

* * *

"So," Ruza turned from looking out the window, eating a taco. "I'm curious: what exactly happened between you and Dwicky?"

I thought for a few moments. _Where to begin?_

"Well…Dwicky used to be my skool counselor. When I felt lonely or I had some free time, I'd go talk to him. We got pretty close, even with our ten year-age difference…except," I smirked self-consciously, "being midul skool me, I became slightly obsessed with him. He was my midul skool crush. So, later on, when he got a girlfriend- Meredith Hackberry- I got jealous."

Ruza smirked. "Typical. So she was his age, huh?"

"I think she was in her twenties. She had a big attitude...but she lived a long way away, and the relationship ended up getting so serious he moved to be closer to her. I didn't speak to him much after that."

She looked confused. "Then what was all that nonsense about you ruining his life back on Earth, when you two met at Dib's skool? He acted like _you_ betrayed _him_!"

"He didn't betray me," I explained. "I was just too immature. I...well, I kinda...got mad and...gave him some angry phone calls, complained about not having very many friends, angsted for no reason..." She nodded hesitantly. "He got fed up with me after a while and told me to back off...so, being midul skool me, I sabotaged his relationship."

"...Really?" Ruza's eyes gleamed with interest and amusement. "_You_? How?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well, first, I sent Miss Meredith a fake breakup letter...yeah, I got her address. Don't look at me like that!" I laughed. "She was-"

"Was she angry?"

I grinned. "If you think Dwicky has a temper, his girlfriend is ten times more uptight- she called him five minutes after she read it- and I put some pretty bad stuff in there- and just wore him out."

We both cracked up. "I would've liked to have seen that," she exclaimed.

"Yeah. Well, so then, Dwicky repeated every word of her rant to me over the phone. By then, Mer had left and told him never to call her again- you get the idea. He was furious."

She shook her head. "Shame on you and all your drama."

"Seriously." I shrugged. "So, we didn't talk anymore, and the last I heard of him was his strange disappearance- with the Pleukesians. I never thought I'd actually walk into his new skool, though…Aand, that's our story for you. Pretty boring, huh?"

Ruza shrugged, looking out the window. "Midul Skool drama. Sometimes I'm glad I never had to deal with it."

"I know you never went to skool, Ruse," I ventured carefully, "but...why...? Can you tell me about your home life?"

She continued staring out the window, not visibly responding. I feared I'd gone too far. After a long pause, she finally stated simply, "My home life, a month ago, consisted of not knowing that any of this existed. And I'm determined not to go back...ever."


	7. Beginning

Cyan blue eyes attentively stared at monitors, periodically shifting to the cold blackness outside the window. A healthy twelve hours passed before a sound broke the silence. Then, without warning, control panel indicators beeped, indicating something near. The blue eyes shot to the window, and in another second, the robot was running out the cockpit door, towards the residential hallway.

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

"We're here!"

The door swished open long enough for Ruza's tousled head of red hair to emerge from the covers. "Go _away_!" she screamed, chucking a pillow at Gir's head.

He dodged it and continued down the hall. He poked his head into the second doorway. "_We're here_!"

"Get out! Get out of the room of _Zim_!"

Another crash. This continued until everyone had been dragged to the cockpit and were staring into the distance, not yet comprehending their arrival.

"Hey," Zim pointed, as if he just now saw the sizable cluster of fuchsia ships. "We _are_ here."

"Wait," Ruza chuckled uneasily. "...We're going up against that?"

"...Well," Dwicky attempted to rationalize the situation. "You...not _all_ of them..."

"How are we going to steal his Cruiser back without being seen by '_all of them'_?" Hannah challenged.

"We'll figure it out when we _get_ there, okay?!" He snapped. "For now, everyone remember our plan."

While the others were talking, Dib subtly edged toward the entrance, and slipped surreptitiously out.

"I remember our months of lessons about space," Ruza shook her head. "But the only thing I remember about our plan was it involved a cloaking device."

"Right!" The counselor pointed, beaming. "This ship has a cloaking device. With all the Armada ships out there, another signature won't be noticed: not if we encode it so it looks like one of theirs. Then, we just dock on the Massive, re-confiscate Zim's ship, and get the heck out!"

"What if they're suspicious of why one of their ships is docking without clearance?" Hannah questioned.

"...Augh. Do you have to undermine _everything_ I say?"

"No, Dwicky! I'm trying to make sure we don't get blown to pieces!"

"You want to make the plans?" He shoved a stack of sketched, playbook-esque diagrams against her chest. Her arms flew up to catch them. "Make the plans! Great _Earth_, Hannah, you're impossible, all of the time!" He stormed out of the room.

* * *

Dib sat and rolled his chair up to the monitor in his room. He didn't have much time before the Armada would sense their presence and probably capture them of their own volition. But if Dib had something to offer in return when they sent a transmission- _if_ they sent a transmission- the humans would stand a small, slightly better chance of escaping. It didn't matter if they called or not: he was taking care of the problem right now. He'd make them an offer they couldn't refuse- even being leaders of an alien dictatorship who didn't negotiate. Because that was just how freaking awesome Dib was.

The others wouldn't see it coming, but they would thank him. Dib watched the Irken insignia appear on his screen, and marveled at the fact that he'd actually gotten through. A satisfied, even conniving, grin spread across his face. _Get ready to pay for everything, Zim._

* * *

Lard Nar breathed deeply and exhaled, observing the Resisty's flagship bridge. "It's a good day to be a rebel, isn't it, Smack?"

"Yes, sir..." The Paetin responded. His eyes, however, were on the distant armada. "...They look powerful, don't they?"

Snork, a Vortian and the Resisty's second-in-command, gave him a borderline wary look. "What are you on about now, huh? Today's the day we stop them! Look around you, if you have the neck muscles: we're surrounded by fighters at least ten times their strength."

"I know that," Smack replied quietly. "I was just saying-"

"You're not honestly rethinking _now_ of all times? Third in command, rethinking? Today?" Snork couldn't decide if he wanted to laugh or possibly strangle his inferior.

"Of course not!" The other returned, more heatedly. The pair started to attract a few glances from the rest of the bridge workers. Smack impulsively brushed some unseen dirt from the front of his uniform. "You know my allegiance is unwavering. There's a difference between concern and lack of conviction, Snork."

"There's also a difference between allegiance and compliance," Lard Nar returned pointedly, slowly, allowing an uncomfortable silence to pervade the air before continuing, raising his voice to address the bridge. "Now! We're going in, everyone! We're going to cripple their flagship the way we should have done years ago! I want the siege team at the ready, I want the raid team prepared to breach the pods, and the remaining insurgents, go where necessity demands! Everyone, to your posts- _let's go_!"

The waiting population of the bridge flew into action. Papers printed, personal weapons strapped on, all while the pink tumor in the glass frame metastasized.

"Sir."

Lard Nar willingly kept his tone flat. "What now, Smack?"

"There's a Plookesian signature a few miles off, over..."

He was stopped by the degrading looks both Snork and Lard Nar cast down at him. The Commander gathered his sentiments, none of them friendly, for a few moments before speaking plainly. "...If you think we have time for more of your concerned, paranoid antics, you'd better leave _my_ bridge, _right now_. I don't care if they get in the way, Smack," he cut the third off again as he opened his mouth. "I don't _care_ if they _blow up_. I don't care if they're cloaked or if they're not- if we run into them, we're taking them out because this is more important than your little speeches about the value of life." His voice dropped an octave as he stared menacingly into Smack's triangular, red eyes. "Smack, your planet was taken over long ago, but you helped take it back from Flobee. Keep that in your mind today. For Paetin, and Vort: for all of them. We didn't take our worlds back for nothing: we're going to free the universe. Now go monitor the raid team so we don't all starve."

The Paetin stared back, hints of both defiance and intimidation etched in his face, before nodding and walking away.


	8. The First Silver Hall

"Everybody against the wall!" The scream of a Vortian guard startled us half to death.

Seven muscular males stormed the cockpit. Dwicky, Ruza, Zim and I recoiled, gasping. We hadn't seen them: apparently, they'd approached from behind, also cloaked. I was too petrified to wonder why Vortians were in the Irkens' vicinity.

The leader addressed us. "If anyone moves, they'll be shot." We stared back, stricken silent, trying to process what was happening.

Another Vortian entered the cockpit, hoisting a thrashing, shouting Dib. "Found him hiding. Tried to call the Tallest- probably a rendezvous." With neither care nor prejudice, he tossed him by us on the floor. Dib scrambled to his feet and Ruza had to restrain him from attacking the rebel. He met our gazes guiltily.

"Pay close attention! From this _moment_, you are under the Resisty's jurisdiction." Horror swept over me. Dib, surprisingly, regarded them with only fury. "You weren't blown up because that would attract premature attention from the Armada. Everyone clear?" We nodded eagerly. "At the moment, we have more pressing matters: I suggest you keep your mouths shut and stay where you are."

Of course, the ever-wise counselor chose that moment to raise his hand, earning a slew of loathing glares. I wanted to slap him, or shoot him with a laser- whichever method was quicker. "Um, yeah, my name is Dwicky. Our peo—well, actually, _your_ people and the Plookesians attend the same conferences. I was recently a Plookesian spokesperson, so—"

The Vortian stormed up, stopping two inches from the counselor's face, dwarfing the human's delicate countenance with his thick, square jaw. "Make your point. We're on a schedule, and I'm not patient."

He paled. "Ah…I-I'd just like to say we were _also_ on our way to.._ravage_ the Irkens..." He attempted to give a ferocious look, which resulted in an expression anything but ferocious. "We've been trying to get his-" He pointed at Zim, but the Vortians cut him off, laughing hysterically.

"Oh...!" The leader wiped his eyes after a healthy time. "That's...rich. Ravage- with this ship, under these conditions?" He sobered slightly. "I know we surprised you, 'Dwicky,' but I can't help thinking we saved your _life_ just now!" This brought more laughter from the others.

"You really expect us to believe you're against _Them_? You have an invader on board!"

"Seriously! And _he_ was calling the Tallest! What's that supposed to mean?"

"You will listen to me!" Zim matched the rebel's tone. They actually stared, waiting. "I am the almighty Zim: you've probably heard of my numerous and amazing contributions to the Empire!"

"...You're really not helping your case just now," the leader deadpanned.

"Zim, shut up!" Ruza hissed.

I added, "You're going to get us killed!"

"Silence!" Ooh_, that little cretin is going to get it!_ "I am on a secret mission- unbeknownst to anyone- to recover my ship in order to conquer Earth! None of us are communicating with the Tallest! We're trying to _undermine_ them!"

"Earth...so they're humans."

"What about _that_ one?" A Vortian pointed at Dib, whom Ruza still restrained just in case.

Zim glared at his nemesis. "He's not with us."

"What?!" Dib struggled against Ruza's grip. "Let _go_ of me, you hobo child!"

"Are you in league with the Tallest?" The leader demanded.

"I'm _against_ them!" He shouted. "I was trying get this bane of the Empire turned in so we could all go _home_!"

"What about the rest of us?!" Ruza exclaimed.

If glares could disintegrate, I'd have been the only remaining female onboard. "I _would have_ negotiated for our safe passage!"

"Dib!" Dwicky erupted. "They don't negotiate! They don't take alien prisoners! What the hell were you thinking?!"

Our captor spoke. "Not that this isn't _riveting,_ Zim, but word of your notorious reputation has, in fact, reached us. We might lock you up on board_, _but you'd do more internal damage than good. You'll be kept here, along with-" His eyes swept over us. "The big-headed one with the ill-prepared plan and the Plookesian 'spokesperson'. Seeing as the Irkens have a treaty with the Plookesians, he may bring trouble."

"Hey, you can't take—" Dwicky's outburst was cut off by seven cocked guns aimed his way. "Sorry! Sorry! Please!" He cowered and squealed.

The leader addressed Ruza and I. "You are under the Resisty's authority as of now. Single file- again, any moves to escape..." He shook his head condescendingly. "Don't make them."

Silence pervaded the room as Ruza and I were forced by the convoy out of the cockpit. Ruza pulled back once to say, "Bye, Dwicky. Bye, guys." The boys stared. We must have all been wondering the same things: how they'd snuck up, whether we could escape the imminent battle…but we all knew it was deadly to voice our concerns.

It was terrifying to leave Dwicky's ship after six months for Resisty territory, Resisty ships. I'd learned enough from Dwicky to know it was only marginally better than capture by the Irkens.

_These rebels are going to attack the Massive?! What are they thinking? Zim said that didn't work before. _I grew to understand, though, as we flew toward what appeared to be nothing: they must have hundreds of cloaked ships. If the newscasts we'd watched had been anything kin to accurate, the rebels had seriously built their forces. I realized Ruza and I would be dead if the Resisty lost. _"They don't take alien prisoners!"_ Dwicky had just said. All I could think was, _We're going to die! We're going to die here! This was all for nothing- why did I ever leave Earth?! We are going to die..._

Five minutes later, we boarded the Resisty flagship itself. I didn't have time to reflect on the irony of the name _Colossal. _"Commander!" Our guard called to the Vortian standing on the Bridge's second story. Through my haze of fear, I somehow identified him as Lard Nar. Dwicky had fit a lot into those teaching sessions. "We found these on the front," Guard explained. "Destroying them would've drawn attention."

"Yes," the commander answered. "I've already been informed. Lock them up, and keep tabs on the ship: if they dock on the _Massive_, we'll catch them in a few minutes."

"Sir." Guard saluted. Ruza and I exchanged terrified looks. _Kill them?! They're going to kill them?!...Wait, _I realized._ They're going to kill _us_...eventually. This is hopeless._

"Uhm, sir," one of the soldiers beside Lard Nar spoke. The owner, obviously highly ranked but unique in appearance- maybe Paetin- looked apprehensively between his leader and our party below. "…I don't think…"

Nar sneered at his inferior, cutting him off with a savage retort that conveyed it probably wasn't the first time this subordinate had questioned him. "I told you I don't care! If you have something to say, I'll shove your carcass onto _Massive_ and you can say it for all the elites to hear, understand?! Now go head your snack pod raiding party like you're supposed to do!"

The other creature saluted grudgingly, and watched us descend below the overhang and into a dim passage.

We were led down a series of hallways. All I registered through my worry was a silver blur. Ruza looked furious, but still had the sense to keep quiet. I suddenly wanted to call my dad one last time to apologize for everything. I wanted to see Earth again…I wanted to have one last chance…!

Instead of blue sky or grass, a ten-by-ten dingy cell greeted me. Momentarily overwhelmed by the pungent, metallic odor, I didn't fight Guard as he shoved me inside. My knees collided with the cold, hard metal. Three of the walls were metal, and the last sported inch-thick bars. I could only see the cell across from me, which was empty. Ruza was thrown into the one to my right. The Vortian's footsteps faded.

"Hannah?"

"...Yeah."

"Do you see anything we could use to get out of here?"

I was stunned. If she was thinking, she was actually one step ahead of me. "Um..." There were no cracks in the walls. The only visible air vent in the ceiling was between my cell and the one across from me. If we got out, we'd still need a box or something to reach it. "No."

She sighed resignedly and I heard her shift so she lied against the wall between us. "Okay...as soon as we get out of here, I'm going to kill the guy who took us. And if Dib and the others are captured, I'm gonna kill them, too."

I stared at the little of my surroundings I could see, waiting in apprehension for any news.

* * *

"_Oh my gosh!_"

"Dib, calm down."

"They took the girls!"

"I know, we're going to get them back!"

"They just freaking _took the girls_!"

"DIB!" Zim and Dwicky screamed, finally somehow shutting the boy up.

"We _will_ find the girls; but to do that, we need to be alive. We won't get anywhere storming in there right now."

"Then what do you suggest we do?!" Dib demanded, throwing a hand in the direction of the window. "Go to the _Massive_?! We have less of a chance of survival there!"

"Actually," Zim input, "our plan might still work. If we can get onboard before the fight begins, we may just be able to get my Voot, and-"

Dib's eye twitched, and he spoke icily. "Your Voot?"

Zim blinked. "Um, yes?"

"Your..._Voot_?"

Zim and Dwicky exchanged apprehensive glances. "Um...Dib?" Dwicky ventured.

"_Your VOOT?!"_

"Okay," Zim rolled his eyes. "Now you're just being excessively annoying. More excessively than usual, I mean."

"_Zim! _All you care about is your _ship?!_ The girls were just abducted by rebels and your own people are about to be attacked, and all you care about is-?"

"The Irkens are perfectly capable of defending themselves against the filthy rebels," Zim retorted. "even without my immense contribution to their forces. Use your brains, if you have any: if they wanted the human females dead, they would've killed them instantly! They're _hostages_!"

"He's right, Dib," Dwicky said. "If we barge in there, it would only endanger them more. Once we get Zim's Voot, we'll be less conspicuous. We'll also be on the winning ship, if Zim's right, which will give us a better opportunity to sneak off afterwards and go find them."

"Unless they get blown up," Dib groused bitterly.

Dwicky lost his patience. "I don't really think you're an acceptable candidate to be making our decisions, anymore, Dib. In fact, I don't see why you're part of the decision process at all, after that transmission stunt you just pulled!"

"Are you _trying_ to get strapped to an autopsy table or blown up?! You told us Irkens don't negotiate. So what, are we just going to fly up there hoping they let us board for the next however-many-hours?! I vote we go show those rebels who's the mightiest race!"

The other two stared, dumbfounded, the silence seemingly communicating to Dib the utter stupidity of his idea. Zim finally spoke up. "Whatever we do, we can't stay here. In a few minutes, there won't be a Plookesian ship left for you _not_ to make decisions on. We need to move before they decide to—"

A distant but ominous rumbling drowned him out. The three boys turned to see a screaming projectile hurtling over their heads, towards the _Massive_. It drew closer until it smashed into the pink hull, accompanied by a violent flash of light and an enormous explosion of smoke.

Zim screamed.

"…We have to get out of here now," Dwicky's voice shook.

"_My Tallest!"_

* * *

"What on Irk was _that_?!" Red exclaimed, eyes wide, as the Control Room erupted in a terrorized frenzy. Voices filled the air. The metal floor rumbled with the aftermath of the impact. Since the missile had hit the ship's side, no one in Control knew what'd happened.

"Did we blow an engine?" Purple hardly dared to voice his fear.

"I don't know—Rarl!" Red called up to their advisor on the second level, who stood amongst panicking technicians. "Find out what happened!" Spurred by the unusually frantic tone of his Tallest, Rarl called a lower level, where he was informed of the impact.

"It's a Vort missile, sirs!"

Red looked up, stunned, as Purple opted to shriek, "A Vort _missile_?!"

* * *

Dib ran to the console and frantically studied the readings. "Our cloaking's still online."

"Excellent." Dwicky rushed to the driver's seat as Zim scrambled to and pressed his face against the window. "Everybody hang on." Adrenalized, the counselor threw the ship into its highest gear.

Zim stumbled but managed to keep his vantage point, gazing in sickened rapture at his Empire's flagship. "…_No_."

"Dib, I want you to get everything we'll need from the back!"

"Are we _still_ going towards the ship under _attack_?!"

"If we want the girls back, yes! Go!" Without further argument, the teen bolted toward the bedrooms.

Zim pounded a fist on the glass, a somewhat helpless gesture. "…Get me up there so I can take out every rebel ship with the _Massive's_ main cannon!" he growled venomously.

"Can do, Zim," Dwicky ceded knowingly, otherwise completely focused on piloting, "but first we need to make it to…great Earth," he exclaimed.

Zim studied the rearview monitor Dwicky was studying. If the invader had been stunned before, he was paralyzed now: Like popcorn, silver ship after silver ship materialized out of blackness, gleaming weapons already powered up. "…Th…" Zim choked, switching his view from the _Massive_ to the seemingly millions of rebel ships. "Th…that's…that's _impossible_!"

"Like our escape's about to be!" Dwicky cried, jerking the controls in an attempt to speed up.

The space around their vessel suddenly erupted with a thousand missiles roaring towards their target. A rough jolt threw Zim off his feet and Dwicky off his chair. The ship tilted, losing speed without a driver.

"Oh, ughh…" Dwicky groaned, holding his head. The cockpit door grudgingly screeched open as Dib returned.

"I've got a sack of stuff we mi—"

"GOOD, GET DOWN!" A pair of strong arms smashed Dib against the floor seconds before the window splintered. A deafening explosion rocked the chamber. The boys cowered on the floor, screaming, as a violent wind ripped through the room, the feeble, automatic shield thrown up in place of the window doing next to nothing for protection. The only thing it prevented was their being sucked into space. Debris flew in from the missile that'd hit them from the side.

Zim's yelling Dib's name faintly registered in the boy's head, and he turned to see the alien turn on his Pak's breathing shield. "…There's more under the console!"

The thought flitted through Dib's head in an instant: _Zim was the one who pushed me down. _"What?!"

"Breathing shields—under the console!" Zim's words were decipherable from lip-syncing rather than sound. The wind drowned out next to everything. Debris whipped haphazardly around the chamber as Dwicky fought for control at the helm. Dib could feel rather than hear his heart pounding in his chest. Oxygen was quickly leaving the cockpit as the boy painstakingly crossed the floor on his stomach.

The counselor, who'd already donned a breathing shield, shoved one at Dib, one of his spindly hands still jerking the wheel violently. "Everybody hold on!" He practically sobbed, his full consciousness on driving.

Dib activated his shield and gasped. He immediately asked if their cloaking was still online. Dwicky took a moment to smash the corresponding indicator with a fist until the bulb flickered and lit. Another firm rumble made everyone cringe. "Yes!"

Dib's eyes widened as he clutched the console. "That's not incredibly reassuring!"

"Well, why don't we just call the Tallest," Zim sneered. "Because that worked _so well_ last time!"

"…That's not a bad idea," Dwicky faltered.

Dib screamed, "We don't have a screen to _call_ them on anymore!"

"Oh yes. That."

"Zim, you moron!"

_BAM!_

A three-fold scream rose as another missile crashed into the dorsal side of the vessel, sending it whooshing through space towards what, amazingly, appeared to be some sort of launching bay on the _Massive_.

Dwicky and Dib continued screaming for their lives as Zim halted mid-breath to stare out the non-window hole. "Hey, look, there's my Voot."

"_AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH_!"

With a cacophony of crashes, rings, and screeches, the Plookesian ship ground into the Deck, almost wiping out several groups of Irkens rushing toward their ships. Rebel vessels were already barging through the area, alighting and pouring out stores of Vortian and Paetin militia. Fighting broke out on the Deck. Dwicky's ship careened, slowed by friction with the floor and ceiling, tilting and buckling until it finally came to rest a minute later.

Dib stared through broken glass at the fuzzy, pink metal. _Fuzzy…_his vision blurred. The last things he registered were Dwicky's unconscious form to his right, and the faces of several Zims with different eye colors popping up in the space where the window used to be to gawk at him.

"…Rebels…gonna get you." He pointed, hand shaking, voice hoarse. His eyes finally rolled backwards as the pooling blackness dragged him under.

* * *

Naming the rebellion's capital ship wasn't difficult- only someone horrendously lacking in creativity would've chosen a name as stupid as _Colossal_. It actually hadn't been Spleenk. But _Massive_ was already taken, so why not imitate everything Irken? Make an army, annihilate life on enemy planets, name the stinking capital ship after theirs...The only thing Nar hadn't developed was an uncanny love of junk food…Smack figured that would come with time and the newly adopted stresses of saving the universe.

_Saving…yeah…_

Smack's attention was drawn from the window- he watched Snork walk the Bridge, laughing and clapping people on the back, stirring up a round of cheers for their assumed "victory." Snork, a Vortian, had always been the most spirited, popular, and athletic one back in training. Though from different planets, they'd been members of the same secret alliance, the underground rebel group that'd recently adopted the name "Resisty" but had been formerly disguised under the title "Freedom Society." It had existed under Irken radar for as long as either Impending Doom. The rebel's recent accomplishments, Smack mentally listed, included acquiring more organized leadership, utilizing a Vort ship, failing at making a formidable name, and also failing at crippling _Massive. _

Though the Paetin despised Irkens, Smack presently felt no sympathy for either side ruthlessly shooting down the other. Taking back his home world and the others from them was one thing; this attack on the Empire was one thing. Capturing an innocent band of interferers was another. It was reviling to Smack. _Isn't this representative of everything we're about stopping: conquest, capture, of innocent races?_ _Does no one else think they don't deserve capture?_ _Wouldn't it have been easier—doable—to move them out of the way? Send them back to…whatever small, insignificant, probably peaceful, planet they came from?_

_It's like the enemy. That's what it is._ Smack saw no difference in the mindset of his own people. The realization was at once repulsive and satisfying. Before the smoke cleared from this first battle, while the others' adrenaline was high, Smack resolved to go down there and make sure they were at least comfortable. For the moment, he settled on watching decades of the efforts of many oppressed planets come to fruition outside the Colossal's (ugh) window.

* * *

Fire was being exchanged in the Control Room. Pink lasers crossed rebels' blue, momentary flashes like strobe lighting over sick combat. The Control Room, comprised mostly of engineers and communication drones, had been taken by surprise, called for reinforcements, and been largely left on their own due to the chaos outside.

Fire was exchanged- and wounds, and deaths, and fallen bodies. No one knew how to react: rebels were giddy with success, the Irkens shocked into defense. Loyal drones surrounded Red and Purple, but their shield was thinning. The reinforcements were taking too long.

"Can anyone tell me how we failed to see hundreds of Vort and Paetin ships coming our way?!" Purple piped, batting away an offending rebel and sending another tumbling with his PAK legs. Though the Tallest were being heavily guarded, they were still accomplished elites, and had willingly joined in fighting.

"They were cloaked, sir!" a nearby Irken replied, grappling with a Paetin.

Another offered, "Their signatures were hidden: under the radar!"

"Can someone tell me why we don't have technology to detect that?!" Red demanded, punching a Vortian in the face. The gray-skinned figure fell away with a grunt.

"Uhm, you both forewent the installation because that Foodcourtia bakery offered you a life supply of pastries for the same price."

There was a hectic, yet somehow painfully awkward, silence over the Irkens as the battle continued raging. Red cringed slightly. "Maybe that wasn't the best idea."

"I don't know!" responded Purple, as if he were honestly-to-goodness weighing the economic costs.

"Where are the reinforcements?!" Rarl Kove yelled from his position near the Tallest. "They should be here!"

"They're all getting docked pay!" Purple announced. "Only _four _monies every two years!" He yelped as a rebel with a Taser almost made contact. "_Get away from me_!" A laser intercepted the enemy, sending him crashing onto the huge wires between platforms. Purple glanced at Red, who wore a superior smirk.

"Told you they're better than smoke machines."

Purple glared sourly, but his eyes widened a second later as he gazed above Red. "Look out!" Too late, he pointed at a Vortian with a jetpack wielding some kind of scythe. The rebel brought it crashing down on the Tallest's head. Red's eyes fell shut as he crumpled to the floor with a groan. "_Hey_!" Purple and about forty other Irkens rushed the offender, who quickly realized his mistake in acting alone.

"Ohhhaaaaaahhh!" The green sea dragged him under. "Aaaiiiiiii! Hurt! The _hurt_! Gaahhheeeaahahaaa!"

"That'll teach you to mess with _my_ Tallest!" One of them yelled.

"Yeah, the Tallest rock!"

Purple finally managed to deliver what was likely a deathblow to him with a PAK leg. "_Yeah_, we do!"

"My Tallest," Rarl Kove said urgently. "There's a bunker the Vortians built into the ship, ironically. We need to get both of you down there!"

"Okay—" Another wave of rebels attacked their incredibly small group. By the time the Irkens recovered, Purple was only surrounded by about twenty drones who'd managed to dodge the various enemy barrages. "This is crazy!"

Suddenly, the rebels began to retreat. Purple saw Irken reinforcements pour into Control like a swarm, and understood. They overwhelmed, cut down, attacked any rebel in their path. The small remaining group around Purple cheered. All the rebels were occupied with either dying or retreating. "Yeah, run for your lives!" Purple shouted. "That's the Armada for you! Get _taught_!" Then, remembering his unconscious partner, he turned to survey the small platform on which they'd formed their last defense. "...Red?"

Rarl started helping the Tallest search the floor among recovering Irkens. "…Who's seen Tallest Red?"

Everyone began looking. Soon, it dawned on Purple that it may not have been reinforcements driving the Vortians back. He couldn't find Red anywhere. "Where is he?" Rarl came back around and gave him a lost look. _This is not good._ Rarl was their advisor—he was supposed to know things when Purple didn't…_What is going on?!_

"He was just here a second ago," someone offered.

"Before that wave of Vortians overwhelmed us."

"I don't see him!"

"Tallest Red rocks!" The same oblivious one roared, perhaps in hopes it would bring him back.

"This is bad," Purple grimaced, eyes wide. "What happened? Where is he?!"

Rarl looked out the window. Purple was afraid they'd come to the same conclusion: and that it was true.

"My Tallest," someone anxiously addressed Purple, "what about the elites still fighting outside?! There are snack pod raiders led by a Paetin—third-in-command of the Resisty!"

"There's a Plookesian ship that was cloaked and now it's wrecked inside the Deck!"

"Orders, sir."

Purple looked out the window, filled with dread. Some Vortians flew back towards the enemy flagship, but most were still locked in greatly-matched combat with his own ships. He knew Red might be on enemy metal: that was the horrifying thing. And he had to do something right now, or his race would be in more danger than they'd ever been—then they were presently.

"I want every mobile available person to start a search for Red. Leave the elites to their work, and you—" he pointed to the idling reinforcements, "all, join them outside. I want enough of you in the snack pod scrap to hold the Paetins off for at least another hour. Our first priority is finding him. Understand?"

* * *

Ruza and I had fallen silent, so the clanging of the prison door startled me. Grabbing the bars and peering through the way we'd come, I wondered why they were bringing another prisoner down here during the fighting...or if they were here to get us out. Possibilities flew through my mind. _How could the boys have arranged for our release? How could they have made it to the _Massive_, negotiated with the Irkens…?! It wasn't possible_, I decided. Maybe—I hoped the boys were alive—maybe _they'd_ captured them and lumped us all together.

"What's going on?" Ruza whispered from beside me, our only separation the wall.

"I…don't know," I breathed as the steps approached. There were several sets: probably bringing someone back here- we'd only had one guard, so why would they need more to retrieve us?

I never would've guessed our cellmate, though. I would've guessed an Irken drone, or even a rebel who'd gotten on Nar's nerves too much—like that Paetin who'd argued against our capture. When they brought the _Tallest_ in—unconscious—I felt my thoughts melt into incoherency. Confusion, dumbness, incomprehension, and frustration filled me- frustration because, once again, I had no idea what the heck was going on everywhere.

We watched the rebels confer before dumping Tallest Red in the cell across from me.

"What the…?!" Ruza's keening question was half-directed toward the Resisty and half incredulity.

I was afraid to make any noise, lest they get tired of us and do something horrible. A couple of them turned to regard us fleetingly, but their attention was mostly on Red. I couldn't see him because they were positioned between us. I gazed up at the vent in the ceiling. _Maybe…he could reach it. Maybe…when he wakes up…_if_ he wakes up._ _He has to, right? He can't be dead: they wouldn't bring him here._

Finally, the rebels left, either to report to Lard Nar, or—the commander probably already knew—to rejoin the battle outside.

"What. The. Heck?" Ruza said quietly. This time, I didn't bother telling her I didn't know. We stared at the unconscious Tallest—she could see less of him than I— and my curiosity grew even more. I figured if Red was incapacitated, the rebels were having more impact than last time. He was incapacitated and _here_—captured—just like us. That had never been done before. What would happen when he came to? When the rebels had time to address him? Would they kill him?! It was likely Nar wanted the time to make whatever he did memorable...maybe even broadcast it to the _Massive_.

Until he woke, there was nothing we could do. Silence permeated the air again as we wondered and waited for anything to happen in our secluded silver hall.


	9. The Shield

Three. Freaking. Days.

I'd thought the rebels would've been defeated, or at least made some agreement with the Irkens, by the end of the first day. But no—the conflict had drawn on, and on, and on. Dwicky's words echoed as I trudged through eventless, seemingly eternal, hours: _They don't negotiate. _Why, I wondered, couldn't they make an exception? Their forces _had _to be depleted by now!

At the end of the first night, we were brought food. The one who brought it was, surprisingly, the same Paetin who'd fought against our capture. He was thin and dark gray in color, with triangular, beady red eyes. He approached our cell looking both curious and on edge. "I'm here to give you your rations," he offered, as a prelude, before stepping up. "My name is—"

"Listen, you!" Ruza cut him off. I heard her grab her bars. My heart jerked. "You'd better tell us what the _hell_ is going on outside and where our friends are—"

"Ruza!" I shouted. "Shut up!" _He's just trying to bring us food; and if she keeps on, we won't get any! Or we'll get killed!_ "Let him…just back off!"

The Paetin looked unsurely between us before stepping a little closer. "…I don't know what's happened to your friends. All we know is, their ship crashed on the Massive at the beginning."

"And how's the Massive?" Ruza demanded. So much for having the sense to keep quiet.

He regarded her with more disdain. "Still operational. Now listen: If you want a meal, you're going to have to be more respectful than that." _Oh, crap. _"My name is Smack. I'll be your caretaker for however long you're here. Until Lard Nar decides what do to with you." My panic spiked—in our hours here, I'd forgotten we'd have to face the Resisty's commander eventually—in person. That was terrifying. What would I say? What would _we _say?

"He can't just do what he wants with us!" Ruza insisted. "There's gotta be some kind of universal law about taking innocent prisoners!"

The Paetin studied her, his gaze gradually losing its edge. "I know. This isn't fair." He glanced around briefly before regarding us. "What they're doing to you isn't condonable—you weren't even involved in this conflict, besides being in the way." Smack glanced over his shoulder at Red before addressing me. "He been out the whole time?"

I nodded. "…Since they brought him here."

Smack exhaled, nodding, and pushed the trays through slots in the bars I hadn't noticed. I grabbed mine. There was a surprisingly generous amount of food on it, considering everything. "…Did you do this?" I looked at him.

Smack nodded. "Yeah. Lard Nar didn't have time to oversee it, so I took it on myself. The raiding of the snack pods finished earlier today. I had time on my hands, and we had extra food supplies after that." He shrugged. Then, he looked curious. "…What…if I may ask…what are you?"

"…I'm human. She's too—we're…human."

He watched me carefully. "But you were with Zim? I heard you were…"

"Not with him." My response was automatic. _Or his leader. _"It's a long story."

"The time from Earth to here…" he mused. "I don't know how long it was, but," A hint of a smile crossed his features. "…I pity you."

Since that night, I'd been trying to piece together several things: the snack pod raid was done, so why wasn't the overall fight? Smack was a rebel, and he was treating us with care…I figured it was because he stood for the rights of every race outside the Irkens. But if that were true, why were we in cells? And maybe most importantly at the moment, why was Red unconscious after _three days_? Dwicky had taught me their PAKs made repairs, so whatever damage they'd done should've been healed by now. When Zim and Dib had fought, Zim hadn't needed an hour to recover! So what gave?

I got my answer at mealtime on night two (what I guessed to be night, anyway—one could never tell in space). Smack sat in the hall, on eye level. When I asked him about Red, he offered a simple explanation I suspected of being a half truth. "We attached a kind of…sedative to his PAK—Vortian technology is very advanced. I checked with you on the first day to make sure it still worked properly."

"Does it stop his PAK from repairing itself?" Ruza asked.

Smack shook his head. "That, I don't know. See, I'm third in command; but I don't have the specifics on every scrap of tech we implement. Especially not on enemies or prisoners."

"You're third in command?!" I cut him off.

He looked at me, smirking self-consciously. "Yeah."

Ruza added, "How is someone like you third in command of a militia this size?"

He shrugged. When I thought about it, those triangular eyes weren't as beady as they'd first appeared. This was the nicest person I'd met on this ship—even though I hadn't met a lot. "Years of training and underground work. Working to free races like you from Irken rule." His smirk widened and he chuckled. I couldn't help chuckling in return—the bars between us were even more ironic than they'd first seemed.

Ruza, however, wasn't laughing. "Then why can't you get us out of here?"

"…Lard Nar."

"But if you're third in command," she persisted, "you can talk to him—"

"I don't know if you were mentally all here when they brought you on, but he doesn't really listen to me. If he did, we wouldn't have even boarded your ship at all." He stared at the redhead, whom I couldn't see. It was an unsettling view, only seeing the unconscious form of Zim's leader. "And he's already going kill the Tallest as soon as he has time to do it properly: any complications with you two would have everybody in trouble."

_They're actually going to _kill_ him. _"…Do you know anything else about our friends?" I asked. "Dwicky, Dib?" _Zim, _I added, though allegedly, we weren't "with" him. The thought of the counselor even brought a pang, despite our fighting.

"Still nothing," another shake of his narrow, gray head. "But I'll keep my ear tubes open for info."

"Thanks." I didn't want him to think we weren't grateful for his efforts. "And thanks for the food. It...means a lot."

Appreciation shone in his eyes, albeit muted appreciation. He glanced around before responding, "Thanks. You can imagine Lard Nar isn't usually as verbal with his approval."

I found myself mirroring his kind expression.

"Yeah," Ruza input. "We appreciate it. And we'd appreciate any information as soon as you get it."

Smack and I shared a quiet, amused look before he unfolded his legs and rose. "I'll be back in a few hours—probably around six. Don't break anything before then," he joked. I found myself liking this rebel more and more.

He was about to go, but turned to me and observed my outfit. "Is that…cotton?"

I glanced at my clothes, completely lost. "Oh, uh, yeah." _What the heck am I…supposed to say?_

He cleared his throat. "You see, it's just such a big rarity here…I'm…into fashion. You know…" We all stared awkwardly for a few moments. "Um…never mind." He shook his head, still glancing at my clothes. "Humans. Who knew?"

Once he was gone, endless monotony resumed. I wondered for the umpteenth time how the boys could have survived the crash. The prospect of their deaths was terrifying in lieu of our position; but I couldn't see Zim dying from something as stupid as a crash—the Irken was immortal. If I could talk to one of them, it would have been Dwicky, to apologize for everything I'd done to him—all the fights we'd had. I realized how insignificant our conflicts were…all I wanted was for him to be alive. All of them—even Dib, who'd threatened to endanger us. _At least he'd meant well…_

Six hours was a long time to wait for food. I estimated about three had gone by, and I was already pretty hungry again. They let us out every few hours to use the restroom, but other than that, it was me, the three metal walls, and the view across the hall. Ruza was boringly silent, occasionally tapping the wall or fiddling with some scraps she'd swiped from the trays…

Escape was impossible. There were guards at every entrance to this silver hall. As time dragged on, though, I found myself with nothing to do but devise potential escapes in my head. The vent above, in the ceiling, could be accessed if we had something to stand on…but what? There weren't any idle boxes or chairs lying around…Other than that, there was the door—too guarded. That option was out. That left the labyrinth in the opposite direction. I didn't even know where it led; but there were likely guards. There was nothing we could do.

The most frustrating thing was how homesick I was in that cell. I'd thought I knew what it was to miss Earth while we flew around for six months without seeing a single plant. It turns out you don't appreciate what you've lost until you're behind bars and about to die.

"Ugghh..." Red's groan caught my attention, and my gaze flew across the hallway. He held a hand to his head. At once, I was filled with panic. _Oh no, he's awake! Smack's thing didn't work! Why didn't it work—what's going on? _Red looked as if whomever knocked him out had done so liberally—he still held a hand to his head and slowly blinked his eyes open.

The first thing he saw was his cell wall. It seemed to catch his attention, maybe because it was gray metal rather than Irken magenta. He surveyed the area and soon saw me across the hall. His eyes lingered a moment before moving to Ruza's cell, then sweeping around his own again. Realization settled in. The Tallest leaned against the wall and exhaled.

"Hello?" Ruza's voice came. He glared silently at her. Of course he wasn't going to answer—we were humans. I wanted to shush her, but didn't have the courage to speak.

When was Smack coming back?

I leaned against my own cell and tried to be inconspicuous. Silence pervaded the hall, until I turned and caught Red staring at me again. He scrutinized me until recognition seemed to register in his mind. "...Oh." He glared at the wall. "Great..."

I ventured, "What?"

"_Tell_ me you didn't bring Zim with you. That's the last thing we need right now." His voice was less impressive and energetic that it'd been on the transmission. My lack of an answer and my guilty expression relayed the truth to him. "_Augh_! Just...! " He pounded the wall with a growl. "Good for nothing humans."

"Hey!"

"Ruza, shush!" I finally scolded. It had to be hard enough to know his Empire was under attack, and the bane of his race was out there no doubt making a mess of things. The last thing he needed was us annoying him; and, honestly, I was afraid he'd kill us if we said much more.

"So, you're the one from the Gigadoomer incident," he more demanded than checked. Suddenly, I didn't want to divulge any information. I was afraid…why should I? He glared daggers across the hall, but I kept my eyes on my own cell and tried to ignore the heat in my face. This was nerve wracking. _It was better when he was asleep._

Red turned his attention to Ruza. "Who are you?"

"What does it matter?! Obviously we're 'good for nothing _humans_!'"

"Enough!" He growled, moving to grip the bars. "You're going to tell me where I am and what's going on!" His eyes returned to me, and I felt obligated to say something.

"We're on the _Colossal…_and we don't know anything about outside. How would we?"

Red surveyed the area—the hallway—absorbing that fact. "…No," he muttered. "No. No. I am _not _on an enemy ship!"

"You…kind of are," Ruza said. I was past the point of worrying about her responses—he was powerless and still in mild shock. Red looked around as if for the key to escape, muttering what I interpreted as an Irken curse. Not that I could interpret Irken—I just knew from the context.

"This is not happening." He gripped the bars more tightly and yelled to no one in particular, "I demand to speak to someone!" He turned to me. "Who was the last one in here? Who's been bringing you food? I was out for three days—who's been taking care of you?!"

It occurred to me we could be being monitored—I hadn't thought about that before. "H-his name is…Smack."

"Smack. When he gets in here he's going to have the _beating _of his life!...What has he been bringing you to eat?"

_Well, someone gets down to business._ "Um…Vort dogs…and stale drink…of some kind." His menacing stare made it difficult to speak.

"If you have lasers and stuff in your PAK, why don't you just burn your way out of those bars and help us escape?" Ah, Ruza. Always thinking ahead while I was stuck wondering.

"Because they deactivated those implements," he snarled, as if she were the stupidest thing he'd ever come in communication with…which, in his mind, was probably true.

"All _right, _no need to be pushy."

"Okay." Red got to his feet, which appeared more difficult since they'd also deactivated his hover belt thing. "Here's how this is gonna work. I'm going to figure out an escape plan, and _you two_ are gonna sit there and shut up while I'm thinking, or I'll make sure both of you smelly humans are the first ones they throw in the furnace when this 'Smack' comes back."

"How you gonna do that?!"

"I don't like this plan," I added.

Red's eyes blazed. "Yeah. Well I don't like being behind bars on the _Colossal_, either, but I'm not going to put up with you while I'm stuck here!" He returned to surveying the space. "Now _quiet_, while I figure something out."

Ruza huffed and I heard her lean against the wall. Personally, I didn't think Red would find anything I'd missed because I'd been surveying every inch of this place I could see for seventy-two hours. Shutting up wouldn't do any harm. Red needed to think, and Smack was due pretty soon— he'd either put Red back under or make it so he couldn't yell at us twenty-four-seven. Smack was nice...

Nicer than this guy.

* * *

Dib groaned weakly, his stomach twisting with hunger, as he regarded the Irkens gathered on Deck. "I _told_ you, we aren't attacking you! We were coming to drop Zim off, and then leave!" He swooned, and turned to look at Dwicky.

The counselor was reclined against the damaged pilot's seat on the floor of the Plookesian ship, which hadn't moved. His eyes narrowed. "I still don't think they're listening, Dib."

"But they've _got_ to!" He gestured with both arms to the Irkens.

The only reason they'd remained on Deck was because it had been secured to prevent more enemy landings. Now, it was only being used as a take off for those going to join battle. Several off-duty Irkens had spotted the ship. Curiosity had given Dwicky and Dib a crowd—not that they wanted one.

"Listen," Dwicky tried—probably for the ten-thousandth time, striving valiantly for a friendly tone. "I'm Dwicky. We used to go to Plookesian conferences together. Remember? We'd trade snacks, make treaties…all good stuff!"

"I thought you said they didn't negotiate," Dib muttered.

"_Quiet, Dib, we're negotiating for food!" _Dib's eyes bugged. "Now, if you could just give us some accommodations," he presented cautiously, "we could help you. I know the rebels have something very important of yours. We could possibly help you get it back, with our universal connections."

_Ooh, that's good, _Dib's optimism skyrocketed. _We can be useful. We can be assets—they'll probably let us live!_

Twenty plus Irkens blinked back at Dwicky, uncomprehending. It had been three days without food. Dwicky snapped. "Oh, _come on, _people! Your _leader _is captured! Come on! We can help you get him back! _Please_, just give us some _food!_ I'm _starving_!" With that, much to Dib's disgust, he sobbed and rolled over onto his stomach. Dib watched the multiplying looks of alarm on the faces of the Irkens.

"My Tallest?"

"My Tallest!" Soon, it became a chorus, and the entire surrounding Deck exploded in alarm.

"My Tallest!" Several screamed. It was mass hysteria. There were Irkens running around and colliding. "_What's happened to my Tallest?!_": Chaos.

Dib glared at the inconsolable counselor. "…Nice job."

* * *

Smack _still _wasn't here! I knew six hours was a long time, but this was ridiculous. My internal clock had to be at ten p.m. and we still hadn't gotten food! "Maybe they ran out," Ruza suggested. I almost wanted to smirk, seeing she probably did this more for Red's chagrin than anything; but I was too grumpy.

"That's not even funny."

"You're not funny," she shot back at me.

"Whatever."

"Hey, Red, you gotta plan yet?" I could hear her smile.

Red's eyes narrowed dangerously; but he decided to ignore her. It was a pleasant change from earlier's yelling. It was also laughable how he still looked at the vent and the hallway—it had been at _least_ two hours.

"You know, Smack needs to keep his word," she observed. "What if we die, and we don't get to confer with Lard Nar?"

"You are the queen of unfunny jokes today."

She adopted a regal tone. "Thank you."

I groaned. "So…where is he? I mean…what if they don't have enough food because of what's going on outside? With all the soldiers, and—"

"Hey. Stilts." Red snapped. "Quiet. Some of us with the intelligence to escape are trying to do so."

Dwicky's testimony that the Tallest could be petty, immature brats when they wanted to was definitely proven. The counselor had attended enough conferences to know.

"How do you know we don't have the intelligence?!" Ruza shot. "Are you saying we're stupid? Are you going to take _Zim's_ word on that?"

I reclined against my wall and mentally sighed. _I will not be part of this conversation_.

"Augh, just stop talking for _five seconds_!"

"Okay," she grinned. "…One. Two. Three—"

"You _little _cret—"

The sound of the door opening brought us out of our thoughts. I had the feeling we were all thinking the same thing—_FOOD!_

Red alertly watched the area from where Smack usually approached. When the familiar Paetin appeared, they locked eyes, and Smack immediately recoiled. "What the hell are _you_ doing awake?!"

Red smirked coldly. "Your little device didn't work for more than three days. You might want to improve that."

He quickly regained composure. "…Well…you might want to think about whom you're talking to. It looks like the device still disabled all your PAK tools, or else I'm guessing you wouldn't be sticking around to socialize."

"Believe me," Red growled, "I've taken every step to avoid it."

"Well then, I guess it's time for dinner. It's a good conversation starter. Tonight you get mork!"

"…Mork?" Ruza deadpanned.

"Yes, mork." Smack addressed her, but kept his eyes on the Tallest—the two of them observed each other carefully. "It's slimy, blue meat—you'll absolutely adore it. Sit tight."

He delivered Red a tray first, probably meaning to placate him at least minimally. He tried to hand the other to me but I motioned him to Ruza. "I'll wait."

Smack nodded, cast me a confidential smile, and was gone. "…I'll be back, so don't kill anybody."

"I won't!" Ruza called, and chuckled. For the following few minutes, silence filled the hall. I guessed Ruza was okay with the food because she quiet. Red was more suspicious of it at first—he studied it closely and prodded it a few times with the plastic forks we were privileged to dine with; but after a while he gave in and swallowed a little bite. Eventually, he joined Ruza in eating.

I was the only one without a tray, so I opted to stare at the wall again. My thoughts drifted to Smack. If he was so keen on protecting us…why couldn't he let us out…? Why shouldn't he be able to…? Being third in command…He was reverent of Nar, but to my knowledge, we'd been unsupervised for days. Everyone cared about Red's condition—not ours. We had a relationship with our captor I suspected could be of use, if utilized. Maybe we could even escape. It had to be soon, though—the battle could end at any time. Lard Nar would visit us.

…_We'll take Red,_ I decided. _He can be useful…we don't have a ship, don't know how to hack one. And if the boys are alive or dead, we'll need Irken approval to board the Massive and get them. _I tried to convince myself it was for these reasons I was considering him joining us, not because I cared about his life. This, of course, was jumping to the assumption we could even make it out.

When Smack returned, I knew I had to act. He wouldn't trust Red. He wouldn't negotiate with Red. But he knew Ruza and me. I spoke lowly, so quietly that only Ruza had a chance of hearing, when he returned with my tray. "Listen…Nar's not coming down here for another few hours, right?"

Taking a cue from me, he mimicked my volume, only breathing a reply. "More than that—the battle's still raging."

"Then get us out of here."

"…I can't do that. You know how much trouble that would cause me—"

"It doesn't have to be you," I reasoned. "He doesn't know you're helping us. We'd have gone without food if it wasn't for you." I looked into his triangular eyes imploringly.

Smack stared back, wavering. I could feel the eyes on his back from across the hall, but I didn't care. Red didn't know what was going on. He was the Tallest and I was the one getting us out of jail. _We're going to live…all of us…we have to live._ _I'm making it happen…right?_

"Mind telling me what's going on?"

Smack turned at the threatening tone behind him and looked squarely into Red's eyes. For a moment, there was only the two of them, leaders, staring across the hall. Smack's shoulders visibly rose. I observed as much of the Paetin's stony expression as I could see. "We are having a conversation. And you, prisoner, are interrupting."

_Oh, sh…_I cast down my gaze, expecting hell to break loose, but something worse happened: more silence. I thanked the heavens Ruza didn't say anything. The impossibly hostile staring continued until Smack—oh, Smack—decided he'd tired of it and turned back to me.

I was so stunned I couldn't respond as he stated, "I know a way to the deck that way." He looked down the hall opposite the door without moving his head.

My eyes widened. "What?!"

"Sh. I know a way through that way," he repeated. "I can get the two of you out." His eyes darted to Ruza and back. I could tell she was at her bars, listening intently.

"Really?" She whispered. "How?"

"…I'm third in command—"

"Hey!" Red's voice came again. "As long as we're whispering, mind telling me what's happening to my ship and crew?!"

"Still talking." The Paetin didn't turn. Red made an indignant sound. Smack lost it for a second and an unrepressed chortle escaped his throat as he looked at me.

I grinned widely.

"When can we leave?" Ruza hissed.

"_Cut it out!"_ Red was almost pitiable with how desperate he was for answers. Keyword: almost—if he hadn't been a serial killer.

"…Immediately," Smack decided. "I'll unlock your cells. You two stay put and…in about fifteen minutes, I'll have the hall that way cleared."

A thrill shot through me. We were getting out! It…Smack…worked! He was like a best friend!...Okay, maybe not, but—

"Him too," I added, reluctant but feeling it necessary. My eyes indicated the space behind him.

Whatever friendliness had been in Smack's countenance vanished completely. "No."

I blinked. "…B…but—"

"_No_." His stare was unmoving. "Ask me to kill Lard Nar before you ask me to let that one out."

I was speechless. Silence again in the hallway. Smack and I's gazes were steadier than his staring match with Red, but his eyes blazed. I was almost afraid of the triangular fixtures…afraid of what he could do if we stepped outside his favor. Two power heads in one room…I wanted to stay on this one's side.

"No," he repeated.

I nodded. My eyes dropped to the floor. "…I understand."

His tone softened infinitesimally. "Thank you for giving me something to work for besides murder." Footsteps echoed down the hall and out the door, which clanged shut.

"Fifteen minutes," I whispered to Ruza, attempting to be as discreet as possible.

"Until _what_?" Red was venomous.

_CRAP._ "Until…" _Smack snapped at him…and he's in a cage. _"Until that's for you to find out!"

Red's much larger, crimson eyes raged even more frighteningly than Smack's. "Don't you _dare_ talk to me like—"

"Just did." Ruza's voice came from beside me. I was genuinely scared now. That look in his eyes…it was murderous. It promised no mercy. I felt remorse for ever crossing him. _"Shut up" was better than this…what have I done?_

"Zim told me you were stupid and tall. I didn't know how that could be possible, but you just proved him right…" He added in the same, biting tone, "No one _ever _proves Zim right."

"Maybe you should listen to him more!" Ruza yelled. "You all write him off like some kind of automatic lunatic! Have you ever stopped to listen? What if someone treated you that way?!"

Red actually laughed—he _laughed. _I don't know which was scarier, the staring, or his laughter. "…And you've just officially lost my entire amount of interest and respect in your people." He chuckled to himself before growing serious again. "Seriously, though—what happens in…twelve minutes?"

"…Something," I answered.

"You are infuriating!"

"Thank you." _There's nothing to do but stall, right?_

"Do humans always avoid answering questions directly? Is it like a staple of your species, to hide the reality that you don't know anything?"

"Yeah," I rambled, "and we leave the lights on when we leave rooms, and we don't recycle all our paper and plastic. And…oh!" I chuckled. "We—we try to cut down on sugar: you know, j-junk food? Snacks? Because it…they…are bad for our health. We eat _vegetables_!"

At the look of utter disgust on Red's face, Ruza and I to cracked up again. I had to remind myself to keep quiet, lest a nearby guard decided to drop in. More company was _not_ desired.

"What in the name of Irk is wrong with the universe?" Red wondered, leaning his head against the bars.

I knew Ruza well enough to know she was dying to reply, _"You_," but she thankfully didn't. "And just what's so wrong about being different from you, anyway?"

He gazed blankly at her. "…We own the universe. You can either adapt or you can be swept off the face of your planet."

"That sounds nice," I quipped.

He looked at me and allowed himself a superior smirk. "Yeah."

"One more thing…" said Ruza. "If you were out for three days, but you still knew exactly how long it'd been when you woke up…could you hear everything going on, or were you actually unconscious?"

"…No. Unfortunately, I couldn't hear you two talking to Smack." He checked himself. "Actually, I'm _positive_ that's a fortunate thing. But I could tell because my PAK keeps a log…it's like computer history." He regarded me. "Please tell me your race has the intelligence to invent the central processing unit."

"Oh yeah," I smirked, fighting the urge to laugh again. "We have."

"I still don't have any respect for you _things_, but now we can have a conversation."

"What have we been doing for the past day?" Ruza asked.

He pointed across the hall. "And you! I'm getting really annoyed with you—you're like my co-ruler! He's always challenging what I…" He shook his head.

_Too much information, _I thought. _It'd be like going, 'Our leader is a counselor for kids—he helps the mentally and emotionally upset children. Because humans are so put together!'_

I sighed, leaning against my bars. I almost had a conniption when they swung slowly forward. "Ah!" I yelped, reeling to regain my footing. I was halfway out in the hall now—Ruza and I locked eyes.

"What…?!"

"Uh…" I guessed it'd been fifteen minutes. "Okay…"

"Has that been open all this time?!" Red demanded.

"…No. Just in the last…" I yanked Ruza's door. It swung open. "Fifteen minutes."

Realization dawned on Red's face. "You struck a deal with that Paetin."

"Yup!" Ruza gloated. "Doesn't that make you respect us?"

"No." He started pulling at his own door. "Why isn't mine—?"

"Because you're not nice to Paetins!" she shot back. "Or anyone, for that matter."

I rolled my eyes. _We still need to get him off the ship—she isn't thinking. We need him. _

"You go on ahead. I'll catch up."

"What are you doing?"

I surveyed the area before finding what I guessed was a broomstick in one corner. Returning to Red's door, I began to strike the lock with the end of it. _CLANG. _"…Breaking us out a ship hacker."

"What?!" They both exclaimed.

"Go on! Ruse, the guards aren't going to be stupid forever—they're out of the hallway now!" I indicated the path away from the door. _CLANG. _"But not for long. Go, and find the escape pods. We'll be with you—" _CLANG. _"—shortly."

"What are you...?" Red studied the lock, and the tool in my hands, still unable to process it. "Back up—did you actually come up with an escape plan?!"

"This _is_ the escape plan!..." I faltered. "Apparently."

"What are you doing?!" Ruza shrieked. "He's the enemy! He called us stupid and threatened to blow up our planet!"

"_No_," I returned. "He's the one whose ship Zim and Dib and Dwicky are on! If they're still alive, we need to get to them! He's also the only pilot here!"

_CLANG. CLANG. CLANG…CLANG._

"It would be hilarious that you think I'm going to take you with me…if you weren't so revolting up close." Despite his recoiling, his eyes were intently on the weakening lock.

"Go, Ruza!" I commanded her. _CLANG._

"Argghh—_fine_! But if you're not there in fifteen minutes I'm coming back for you!"

"I _will_ be there—just with or without him!" I called after her.

"Without," Red whispered in mock confidentiality. _CLANG. _"And you'll try to figure out how to fly for about five seconds until they retake you."

"Shut up!"

He chuckled again, either from the excitement of getting out or the thought of us getting blasted to death. He did have a thing for lasers, if I remembered correctly. _Yay. We have so much in common…_

_CLANG—KKKRRRR. _"There!" The metal gave way with a keening moan, the door grudgingly yielding to Red's hands rather than the confines of the lock. It swung open and I stood back. Ruza was already around the corner.

Red didn't even offer a thank you before sprinting after her.

I huffed. _…Okay. Now I have to sprint to keep up with _him. _How can he even run that fast?—His PAK hover thing is disabled!_

I rounded the corner and discovered four different pathways. I audibly growled. "Great!" I slapped a hand over my mouth. _That was a stupid, stupid thing to do! _Footsteps echoed down the third way, so I chose that way, hoping it wasn't a guard. _Thank you, Smack…thank you, Smack…thank you so much, Smack. I'll find someway to thank you someday…you know, if we live._

It turns out I'd located Red again. He was at the end of the corridor, looking between two paths. No…one of them was a room stocked with what looked like weapons…shields…implements of battle…!

Red darted into that room and I followed. An armory! We'd found an armory! The Tallest was already snapping things to his arms, choosing a gun.

"What do I get?" I surveyed the guns and concluded I didn't know how to shoot—that hadn't been part of Dwicky's lessons.

"I could care _less_…" Red muttered mostly to himself. He was out the door before I'd reached the supplies.

"Hey!" I growled. Then, observing quickly, I settled on a nice, circular, blue shield that looked light enough for running. I flipped it over and gripped the handle, testing the weight. _About ten pounds. I should be able to carry that._

I followed the second hall, and what I heard ahead sent chills through my being: gunfire. _Okay…it sounds far away…just have to get around this corner and figure out where Red is so once he takes out everyone I can get back—_

I gasped as a hand clawed my shoulder, jerking me back around the corner where laser beams flew like a light show. I staggered to regain my balance. "Don't you have two brain cells in that stupid head of yours?!" Red snapped.

"I-I…I didn't know it was that close!"

"Oh my Irk," he said disgustedly, before glancing around the corner. He judged it safe to head in and ran off again. I tried to follow him, but it was terrifying to enter a room already poised to take you out. I held up the shield—it felt futile.

Light and heat exploded across the air in front of me. I think I screamed. Within seconds, I was taking refuge under some forlorn metal desk, cursing Smack for not taking out _all_ of the guards. _That's impossible, _my reason reminded me. This_ is impossible! _My mind screamed.

I caught sight of Red a few feet to my right, behind another metal fixture, occasionally rising to return fire. Three quick bursts of light collided with my desk, all but melting it. I screamed.

Red took out whatever adversary was between him and the door—he ran down another hall, but turned back. I could barely hear his voice over rebel guns. "Fire back!"

I shrieked, throwing up the shield haphazardly. _I have no weapon! I'm gonna die! _More shots ricocheted, my shield jerking around dangerously. I chanced another glance at the doorway…the empty doorway. "_Don't leave_!" He yelled something from way far off, and that was the last I heard of him.

"Please," I think I whimpered—or cried—as the rebels closed the gap. They were still firing: the only thing keeping me alive was a ten-pound, thin circle of metal and the arm holding it up. Two more shots. My arm felt like it weighed twenty pounds, thirty. Two more shots jerked the shield around even more. My muscles were on fire. My mind was mush—I couldn't form a thought, much less a sentence.

I saw one of them, a Vortian, taller than Lard Nar and stronger than Smack—he was ready to fire at me—oh, Earth, his gun—!

Something collided with his chest from the side, and he went sprawling to my right. He was about ten feet away. The other three were taken out in the same way. Smack sprinted over, hauled me up and dragged me through the doorway. "Come on, we've got to go_—_they're gonna get up and get reinforcements!"

"…He left me!"

"You expected anything _different_?!" He exploded for the first time at me.

"…Thank you. Thank you so much!"

"Shh! Keep your voice down!…for the love of Vort." The hall forked. "It's this way—come on! Your friend's there already!" He pulled me to the left, then another right, then we paused for a second while a guard crossed another left, and then took it.

The escape pods loomed before us. Smack took my hand and squeezed it before beginning to sneak off. "Don't tell anyone my name—don't tell _anyone_ I was here, understand?"

"…Yes." I meant it. The last thing I would do was endanger him.

Ruza walked over from one of the pods and waved. "We won't forget you."

"Oh!" He slapped his forehead. "The controls!" He beamed. "They have autopilot! Twist the green knob on the left-center—it'll give you a list of coordinates. Find somewhere safe until your friends are accessible. _Don't_ go into the fighting."

"Yes, sir," we chorused.

He was off, around the corner, in the next second. "See you sometime!"

"Bye," we called quietly.

"…Let's go." She moved toward the nearest pod.

"Wait."

"Agh, what now?!"

"…I…we need to…ahh…"

Ruza gave me a warning stare. "Don't you think about going back." I blinked at her. "Hannah! We made it to the pods! We almost died—let's go before the guards get here!" She pushed me towards the pod. "Let's go!"

I winced, pulling out of her grip. "But he's in the same situation we are!"

"No! He's a murderer! He conquers worlds! He deserves this!"

"We were just talking to him not ten minutes ago!" I implored.

"Yeah, and now we're _free_." She seethed. "Let's _GO!_"

"…I…"

"_Hannah_."

"…I can't."

"Why?! What do you _owe_ him?!"

I found my legs striding purposefully the way we'd come, turning right at the first intersection. "Nothing."

"Wait!" She jogged after me, but thought again, and ultimately hung back. "…I'm not going with you."

"Okay." _What the hell am I doing? She's not coming with me—Ruza's not coming with me—I have no ties to anyone, all my family is gone…_

"Be careful!" she pleaded as I rounded the corner. I didn't reply.

Hefting the shield in a quiet passage after the shootout was a breeze—it felt infinitely lighter without bullets boring into it. Red must have either taken the first right…or…a wrong turn after the first left. I backtracked to the first intersection, but almost got turned around because I had to take the opposite turn each time. _So…he would have gone left here…no…right…_ There were three hallways, the one we'd come from and two more…except I didn't know which was which. They were like spokes on a wheel.

_Okay, calm down,_ I ordered. _You couldn't have come from this one. So one of these is the original path, and one's the one Red took…presumably._

Gunfire from the one to my left. _That one!...No!_ I stopped. _That could be leftover from earlier… holy crap, where am I going?! _I chose the one with gunfire, because of my amazing human intuition. Striding down it, I thought this had to be the greatest blunder of my short life, second only to riding into deep space with _Zim_ and getting locked up by the Resisty.

A bullet grazed the wall in front of me. I ducked, fighting the impulse to scream. It came from the turn in the hall where I could hear shouting and shots.

_Okay, okay, okay. _I rounded the corner, shield drawn, and ran a short passage before a room. Inside, three rebels—two Vortian, one Paetin—were firing at an overturned desk much like mine. I could tell Red was behind it—he would occasionally rise from behind it to return fire. _How stupid was I for not finding a weapon! _I couldn't defend myself before, and now I couldn't take out these guys.…Could_ I even take out these guys…?!_

One of them turned on me. Every thought racing through my head instantly melted into incoherency. I threw up the shield, but this time, when the ammo bounced off it, I forced my muscles to resist, to fight the opposing force. Keeping the shield steady did something unexpected: instead of reflecting at random, the bullet made a straight line back to its firer. To my amazement, it collided with the Paetin and he dropped. Before I had time to process this, a second turned on me—the third was occupied with closing in on Red. I kept my hand as steady as possible and watched in awe as the second rebel collapsed to the floor, too.

…_This shield _is_ a weapon!_

I ran in behind the third, fueled by adrenaline. The Vortian was feet away from the desk now, and suddenly, I realized he was the big, meaty one from the other room—he still had some blood falling from the wound Smack had left in him. A barrage of footsteps came from the opposite hall. Through whatever labyrinth awaited that way, I heard rebels storming toward us and knew we had seconds.

Red was unable to fire back at such close range—I garnered my strength and brought my metal circle crashing down on the back of the rebel's head. Momentarily stunned, he fell to one knee. Red was already up and moving around the table.

"This way!" I shouted, and I would have dragged him if he hadn't been so quick. I didn't know if he would have followed, but the footsteps coming from the other hall made this our only option. The Vortian stood and fired again—I had the shield out behind us and again I kept it steady. The reflection burrowed deep into his head.

In seconds, we reached the spokes again.

"Which one?!" Red shouted. I took the one to my right, hoping desperately I was right so he wouldn't kill me. To my relief, I recognized the next intersection and took a right. Back on track, we sprinted together through the halls, rebels not far behind.

Praise Ruza—oh, the great and wonderful girl had the pod already powered and the door open. "_Get in, get in, get in!_" Her emerald eyes were huge. I stepped foot inside as more than twenty Vortians poured into the room and opened fire.

"Holy shit!" The shield allowed the pod door to slam shut. Before I could process the coming movement, I was on the floor.

Silence.

For a few moments, we caught our breaths.

Red managed to stand from his seat and looked out a tiny window at the back of the pod. "…They'll be after us soon." He turned to Ruza. "Did you program in any coordinates?"

She stared at him, wide-eyed, her voice quiet for once. "I…don't know how."

He crossed to the controls and I eyed the green knob as he looked at it. "You already did this much," he shook his head and tapped the keys.

I stared out the back window. There were no rebel ships undocked in our immediate vicinity; but as I watched, two or three escape pods powered up.

_Do those…these…have weapons? Are they going to chase us?!_

"Uh, Red…?"—painfully informal; but so was our situation. "There are escape pods—"

"I know. That's what I just said." He finished entering what I guessed were coordinates and turned to me for a second. "…What the hell were you still doing there?"

"…Uhh—"

"There's the _Massive_!" Ruza pointed out the front window and Red was immediately absorbed by the view of the fairly distant raging battle.

"Purple, you'd better not have let the snack pods get raided…" he muttered.

_Oh…_ that'd been Smack's job.

_Not the time to mention it…_

The weight of what'd happened washed over me: I'd almost died. I'd been right in the face of rebel guns…with nothing but this flimsy, thin shield…it was like…it was less than the bottom of a pan…

What had I just done?!

Why _had_ I gone back?

…_Because he needed help_. I wasn't completely satisfied with that answer. Now that I could focus on reason, we were harboring an alien dictator…who was currently driving us out of harm's way, to his dictator ship. _The hell…?!_

"Strap yourselves in!" He ordered. "Vortian tech is unnecessarily complicated, so we'll see how this goes."

I watched three pods separate from the flagship in horror before I raced to the bench seat and buckled one of the straps. Ruza was across from me.

"Everyone good?"

We nodded before realizing he couldn't see us and chorused, "Yes!"

"Hold on."

Getting back to the Massive was a mess. Coordinates were already plugged in, but it turned out the pod _did_ have weapons for emergencies, and that's what the rebels used against us. Red had to dodge, fire back, and avoid the fighting on our approach. This required a roundabout path to the Deck around the back, through some other Armada clans. We were still a ways off when he sent a transmission_. _

"_What do you want?"_ An Irken came on screen, though I couldn't see him well from here.

"Rarl. It's me."

"…_My Tallest?!"_

"Yeah. This isn't a trick. Listen, can you tell them to take out the ones on our tail?"

'Rarl'…stuttered, "_Y-yes, My Tallest. Right away. Are you alright?_"

Red shrugged slightly. "In questionable company. More or less. Just get me up there."

_Excuse me, _I sulked. _Why did you abandoned me? How could you think that was okay?_

"_Yes sir!"_

Within a minute, the vessels surrounding the _Massive_ were protecting our pod from the other three. It wasn't another five minutes before they were drifting, in flames.

"Yes!" Ruza whooped.

Red smirked over his shoulder before freezing and turning to me. "…Hey. You…"

_What? _I stared back. _Has he realized what I did for him?_

"You…Snork. You shot him?" His eyes were incredulous.

I shook my head. "_Who?!"_

"The Vortian…"

"My shield reflected the bullet…"

Red was stunned. "You just…killed the second in command?"

I froze. Ruza gaped at me. _I WHAT?! _"Uh…"

We were approaching the Massive. The reality of what had happened hit me even more. I'd killed someone…several…! Tears welled in my eyes as we pulled into the Launching Deck.

There was a familiar ship there—wrecked, huge, silver—that alleviated my concern about whether the boys had made it onboard. Tears were already running down my face, but more of them came from relief, at the sight of Dib's scythed head. _They're alive…_he's _alive—_I didn't know about the others, but I assumed—yes! There they were, too! Zim was even talking to his people, gesturing to the entrance to the Deck and miming something with his hands. The other Tallest…Purple…yeah, that was his name…was there, too, listening.

"What the…?!" Red exclaimed as our pod touched down. We instantly drew the attention of everyone. The moment we locked eyes with the boys was probably the happiest moment of my year.

"My Tallest!"

"My Tallest!"

"All right, all right," he waved. "Calm down." Irkens very literally swarmed the pod as soon as the door opened.

"_Red!"_ The other Tallest called. Red turned and immediately made his way over to…'Purple.' I briefly watched him take Red's shoulder and the two of them start to talk and gesture, but was distracted by Dib and the others running up.

"You're all right!" He beamed.

"Yeah," Ruza stepped out. "We're all right. Little bumpy, though." She put a hand against the door frame and Dib helped her out.

Dwicky was behind him. "Hannah!"

"Dwicky!" I impulsively threw my arms around him, happier than I'd ever been to see anyone in my entire life.

"What happened?" Ruza saw the wrecked ship.

Zim walked up. "You survived?!" His face was a mess of confusion and wonder.

"Yeah. What happened?" I repeated, pulling back, turning to the Plookesian vessel.

Dwicky sighed. "Rough landing. We've been trying to convince them for days we're not against them. Not…actively, anyway. We just wanted Zim's Voot. He was trying to talk them into letting us at least have some food…" I noticed how ragged the counselor looked. There were bags under Dib's eyes. Zim just looked annoyed. "but they wouldn't listen. Purple didn't really care, either" Dwicky's voice lowered to a whisper. "…Surprise of surprises."

I giggled. There were many Irkens surrounding us, the pod, the Tallest a little ways off. It was very crowded. …_How are we going to get out of this?!_

"All right!" Red called after another minute or so. Purple stood beside him. "I'm fine! All of you, get back outside—do what you were assigned. Go!"

The soldiers and elites cheered and ran off, to their ships, to join the battle. I heard Red exclaim to Purple, "This is crazy!"

Dwicky regarded me with confusion and spoke lowly. "…How did he bring you with him? From the prison?"

"…We kind of all escaped at the same time," I supplied. "We kind of helped each other…not really, though. It was complicated."

"Are you okay?"

"Not really," I exhaled, before giving a nerve-filled laugh.

"It was intense. There were Vortians and Paetins there, just itching to off us. They had so many guns," Ruza explained. "I barely got the pod out before they shot us—your shield helped that—and there were—"

"_You_ did that?" Dib exclaimed. "_You_ fired the escape pod?"

Ruza blinked. "…Yeah. I guess I…I guess I did…"

Hordes of Irkens ran around us, battle-minded, all business. The Tallest approached and Purple addressed Zim. "So…these are more of your…_friends_?"

Zim laughed nervously and eyed his leaders. "Yeeahh…" He eyed the ship and the pod. "Well, at least they know how to make entrances! Am I right?"

The Tallest scowled down at him. "…Look," Red spoke up. "We don't really have room for _stowaways _on the…ship." He'd almost said _Massive_, and that _was _ridiculous—they had plenty of room. "And in case you haven't seen, we're in the middle of a war." The word was bitter on his tongue.

_Oh no. They're going to throw us back out there…!_

"However…"

My heart leapt. _What?!_

"However?!" The purple Tallest protested.

"Well…" Red looked conflicted. He looked at me. "She _did_ show me the Pod Chamber."

"And break you out of prison!" Ruza input.

I bristled. "Shut up."

"They what?"

"It was all happening really fast…" Red turned to Dwicky. "I know you. Weren't you at Plookesian conferences?...How many rooms would you all take up?"

"Red…" Purple informed. "We _don't have enough rooms_."

"Could you at _least_ give us some food?" The counselor pleaded, his stomach growling ferociously in agreement.

"F-food! Red, you're not seriously thinking of giving them food—we've just had a snack raid—!"

"I'm…thinking…"

Purple's indignation would've been funny if our lives hadn't depended on Red's choice. I saw the conflict on his face. Finally, the crimson Tallest sighed, "Give them Ten rooms."

"Ten rooms?!" Dwicky's eyebrows shot up.

Red glared. "Rooms on floor Ten. They're big enough for you, right?" He looked at me. "About the size of our cells."

_Ooh…cozy._

"Food," Dib said. "Please."

Purple accosted Red. "Are you sure _you're_ all right?...You know," he touched his shoulder, "in the head and all?"

"Get off me!" he snapped. "Yes, I'm all right."

"So…we get to room…on the _Massive_?!" Ruza checked.

"For a limited amount of time," Red answered. "Just until this thing with Vort blows over. _Again_."

"Sweet!"

Zim led the way out of the Deck because he was just that guy. "I'll show you floor Ten, and then, we feast!"

Purple shouted after us, "Don't break_ anything…_that isn't already broken. Geez, imagine what a mess they'll make of the kitchen…Now, there's people cleaning up the remnants of the snack attack, and there's work crew on floor Seven…Seventeen…"

I stopped before I passed Red. "Um…just…out of curiosity…um…what did you yell when you left?"

"…The room?"

I nodded.

Red looked a bit uneasy: just slightly. "I said, 'Later, swine…'"


	10. Enemies

My room was the size of six bunk beds together. A reddish couch on one wall, a small television opposite, a strange tube protruding from the wall. A chest of drawers. I walked back into Ten hall. No human amenities: no water, no toiletries—nothing.

Ruza emerged. "Zim, why haven't your people invented the bed? I know you don't sleep, but the bed is still a pretty cool invention."

"We have no need of beds, cherry-headed girl, we do not tire. Our PAKs supply enough energy—"

"_Foood_." Dib's bloodshot eyes had deep circles. He and Dwicky looked identical.

"…Why aren't you complaining about staying here?" Zim inquired.

"Food. _Now_."

"I don't think he has the mental ability," Ruza said.

Gir popped out of one of the rooms. "We're on the mother ship! Wahoo!"

Zim scratched his chin. "If I feed you, you'll come back to your senses and start spewing complaints…but I've gone days without food. Fine. Come along, filth-things." We staggered after.

A buffet lined one wall of the stadium-sized cafeteria, which housed a massive herd of picnic tables. Metal giants loomed in the back, leading to a chamber I guessed to be the kitchen. Everything was surprisingly empty. "Lunchtime?" Ruza watched the boys make a beeline for the buffet. "Doesn't look like it."

"Must be the battle," I said.

Zim pulled a face at Dib. "You're revolting!"

The teen spewed flecks of what looked like mork mixed with cornbread. "Whmms thus? Whms thus? I luck dis. So good, mmmppphh…"

"Cheese!" Gir jumped onto the nacho board and started coating himself in the equivalent of queso.

An Irken eyed us, and looked more skeptical when he saw Zim. After a moment of hesitation, he filled our plates.

I have never seen anyone rival the Tallest in volume of consumed food. Ruza came the closest that day. I had never seen her so eager, or happy.

* * *

"I know it's short notice," Tallest Red said, "but we've never had any other species on the _Massive. _Or…in our presence at all, except for conferences."

"The almighty Zim has studied these creatures carefully, my leaders. I'd be happy to provide you with a list—"

"Save it, Zim," Purple glared. "We'll handle this."

The little Irken gave a pained attempt at a smirk.

The battle had finally ended two hours ago, thanks to Tallest Red being back and the rebel's shock. Every rebel had been kicked off the Irken vessel and _massive _clean up was underway. Once the Tallest had apparently overseen enough, they'd joined us at lunch.

Now the cafeteria bustled. Servants around our table refilled topped-off drinks and piled food I couldn't bear to look at after stuffing myself. Red chewed a snack stick resembling Fun Dip. "So, here's the deal. You can stay, for the time being, _if_ you're useful in some way."

Dib's expression showed he held disdain for this idea.

"I still don't see why they're necessary," Purple's tone was confidential. "We could just dump them on an empty planet somewhere and be done—we have more important things to worry about."

"Hey," Ruza's eyes flashed. A servant refilled Red's drink. "She saved your life! She saved your life _and_ she came back for you—" I leaned across Dwicky, who stared contentedly into the void. _No, no, no._ "—you can't just ignore—"

"Ruza!" I finally blurted. "This isn't the time."

"Yeah, watch your tongue," Purple pointed a talon across the table, "or I'll rethink my current generosity and dump you on the smoking remains of…what was the last planet we conquered?"

Red's eyes narrowed. "I'm not thrilled about this, either. We're still working out details." His gaze shifted quickly among us. His look hardened when he saw Zim, and he leaned over to Purple. "_That _one's going to have to be dealt with immediately."

Purple joined the Glaring at Zim Club, which had been thriving for two centuries past, and nodded slowly. "…I'm thinking engine room incinerator, or air lock. Definitely air lock."

"You know that never works with him," Red grimaced.

_It's true—he never dies. Dib's tried, in the last six months. We all have._

"Why can't we just take a cruiser and go back?" Dib's sharp tone startled Dwicky. "Like Zim's?"

"If you think we're giving Zim a cruiser, you're more stupid than you look!" Purple paused for a beat. "Stupid head!"

"_My head's_…oh. Wait."

Red spoke. "Now that Lard Nar and his group have confronted us, it means your path home is impassable. You're stuck on this side until they decide to move—which, judging by their demeanor, won't be anytime soon."

"W-what?!" Dib gasped. Our side was silent. The Tallest observed us.

_Stuck…out here…with these murderers…Zim's race…_my hands clenched the end of the pink metal table. The splashing of drink being added to full cups, another tray of brownie-looking things added to the table.

"So," Purple's raucous voice shattered the hush like glass exploding. "What do you think you'd like to do, since dumping you on a planet seems out of the question?" He glared at Red.

My stomach churned. _Do…_

"Human food is abhorrent, my Tallests; but with proper training, they could be made into your own personal food drones: like myself, back on…Foodcourtia." Zim shivered. "The human females seem to be prolific in this area, if I remember correctly."

Dib addressed the Tallest. "There's really no way to get back to Earth? At all?"

"Not unless you want to get grilled alive," Purple replied.

"Yay!" Gir clapped.

Dib swept his scythe off his clammy forehead and exhaled.

I felt out of place, conspicuous, across from these leaders. The one had been relatively non-violent, if inhospitable; but the other had insulted and abandoned me. I could've died. We could _still_ be in a world of trouble. My stomach gurgled. Red cast me a strange look.

"We already have enough food drones," Purple said. "This is the _Massive_, Zim. And as for personal assistants, why would I want to be around this filth more than I already have to be?"

He received four glares from across the table.

"Why would we even need personal assistants, when there's access to food in literally every room?"

"Correspondence." Dwicky suggested. "Think about it: all that random research, you wouldn't have to do. They could call the control room or converse with your databases for you."

Purple frowned. "The only reason I'm listening is because you've been barely tolerable at conferences…but you still smell like dirty hyumans."

"We have Rarl." Red cut in before the counselor could retort. "What do we need two humans for?...what about the big-headed one?"

"I am _not _staying here!"

"Dib," Ruza said, "you have no choice."

"Shut up!" The teen stepped back from the table, glaring. I'd only seen him this hostile a handful of times. "If you think I'm staying on a ship full of Zim's horrible dictators and their drones, you've got ano—"

"Yeah, well, your head's still big," Red said. Purple nodded, frowning.

"_Agh!_"

"Everyone—Dib, calm down." The counselor said. "Hannah, Ruza, you know we have no choice. I've worked near the Irkens before. Well, not with the Irkens but…you know. They're…we'll survive."

I seriously questioned Dwicky's certainty on that point.

"Yeah…" Ruza muttered.

"So, why don't we try to make the best of this?"

I saw Red look at me out of the corner of my eye.

_Yeah…I already tried to make the best of it…they still want to kill us. _I wanted to be indignant, but my toes curled tensely beneath the table at my proximity to these power heads.

"Give us one good reason," Purple regarded our counselor, "not to serve you to the scientists. Red said you were swine, and he's right."

"Do you even know what swine are?" Dib asked.

Violet eyes flashed as he looked pointedly at Dwicky. "You handle your subordinates well. Tell them to watch their tongues; and _yes, _I know what swine are. I'm _looking at_ one."

Ruza and I somehow managed to discourage Dib from leaping the table. "So," she said, "if we're the assistants, are we in the kitchen all the time?" She added quickly, "Cause I'd be fine with that!"

"Touching our food?" Purple sounded like he'd found a dead Blorch rat in his soup. "Red, are you hearing this?"

"Yeah, I'm hearing it. I don't like it."

"Then why are we keeping them around?"

Red studied us. "…It's clear no one wants you here; and you don't want to be here. But we're going to deal, because outside these walls, you'd be even worse off." He nodded at Dwicky. "So we're going to make the best of this. If you two really can make food, I guess we can use you. We have a shortage; and that's dangerous."

"Very dangerous!" His partner interjected.

"What can _you_ do?"

Dib bristled, but eventually muttered something about computers.

"Tech room?" Purple suggested.

Red shuddered. "Humans, touching our shiny equipment."

Ruza stiffened. "All right, enough already."

"…She can be _your_ assistant." Red's disgusted expression would've been comical under different conditions.

"My Tallest." A pink-eyed Irken approached the table with a tray of donuts. "Pink frosted, like you requested."

"Thank you, Tenn," Purple mumbled, significantly less excited than I reasoned he should've been, especially during an alleged shortage. Ruza eyed the pastries hungrily.

"Tenn?" Zim leaned forward. "What are you doing here?"

Red sighed, "We pulled several invaders off their planets for safety. Once Flobee went down, we figured it was better to play it safe." His eyes flicked to me momentarily.

"Zim?" Tenn looked shocked. "It's been a while. Why are _you_ here?"

"Long story," Dwicky said.

"Oh Irk, and humans! This is wild. I can't…this is crazy! How did they get—?"

"Thank you, _Tenn_. Please leave now." Purple glared. The invader froze, nodded and quickly retreated.

Ruza spoke up. "Wait…so we _do_ get to make food? All the time? And be around food?"

"If you can do absolutely nothing else," Purple exhaled. "There's no chance you know how to put on puppet shows. I'm talking about in the professional way, obviously."

"Could it save my life?"

His tone was spiteful. "It just might."

"Uh, I can do that."

"Fine, then we're set." Red looked at me across the table.

I swallowed. "Um, okay." My toes curled again—something about that look, that skepticism…like he was going to evaluate and leave me again if I didn't measure up: throw me into space like they did to so many subordinates…for nothing at all…

"I can, uh…help in the medical area. I'm a head doctor, but I have some training on hand; and I'm a fast learner."

"Except when it comes to elevators," Ruza said. I growled under my breath.

"Sounds…good." The words seemed to caus Purple physical pain.

Dib seethed, "I can't believe we're actually staying."

"Do you have a better idea?" I asked. "Rebel forces? Abandoned planet?"

"There are things worse than sitting in a tech room all day," Red said.

Dwicky spoke. "He's right, Dib. Unless you want to call the Aeryx time travelers and try to reverse all this, we're stuck."

He released another exasperated growl, waved an arm at us, and stalked away. "I'll be in my room."

"Good, cause you start in a few hours," Purple called.

I could easily imagine tendrils of dark smoke rising from Dib's jet-black head as he stormed out the door.

Dwicky sighed. "So much for food improving his mood."

"Don't think about moving a muscle," Purple pointed at the "invader." "We still have to think of an appropriate punishment for you."

"Punishment? I think you mean reward," Zim grinned.

Gir yelled, "No, he doesn't!"

"I assure you we're not joking," Red spoke through his teeth. "The rest of you are excused: take that monstrous, annoying contraption with you."

Dwicky, Ruza, I scrambled up- Ruza grabbed Gir- and we cleared our trays. "Sounds good to me," Dwicky muttered. I almost giggled.

We exited the cafeteria. "So…" Ruza passed into the cold, dark pink halls first. "Assistants to the Tallest. This could have gone worse."

_We're not assistants, _I wanted to tell her. _It's a guise. They wanted to 'throw us to the scientists.' We're _servants_. _

But…it was better than death.

* * *

"Why exactly are you here?" Red asked.

"Yeah, and why did you bring _them_ with you?"

Zim gave the Tallest his usual proud expression. "I'm here for my Voot Cruiser. The human counselor was the only one on the planet with the necessary technology."

Red frowned. "And the others?"

"They forced me to bring them along."

"Forced."

"Yes. And I was so brilliant as to deliver them to you, ripe for slavery. You can praise me now." Zim lifted his head and held his breath.

"'Delivered'—…I need more snacks," Red groaned. Purple patted him on the back. "Okay. Zim, I don't care why or how you're here—you _aren't_ staying. Pack whatever you brought and go away."

"In my Voot?" The "invader's" voice rose an octave.

Purple started. "Wh—no!"

The reality of the situation dawned on the Tallest: Zim needed a ship to leave; sparing a ship for Zim's sake was out of the question. If they launched him out the airlock, he'd be back inside sipping a soda two seconds later. Deliberately killing him had proven impossible—they were practically the founders of the Glaring at Zim Club—they should know.

"Irk…"

"Why do we have to deal with this right now?" Purple asked. "I'm tired; and there aren't even that many snacks."

"My Tallest, if I could offer a solution—?"

"_No!"_

Zim shrank back slightly in his seat.

Purple eyes were slits. After an inordinate amount of time, he finally relented. "…_What_?"

"For the good of the Empire, I thought you might want to sample a potential weapon I found a few years back. It's actually a planet."

The Tallest exchanged looks. This was definitely another of Zim's idiotic, insane plans. "A planet?" Red forced a response.

"Yes! Mars—remember when I drove it around? The Dib and I actually didn't wreck the planets…completely. This one and Mercury are still floating somewhere—in space. I'd just have to lock onto their coordinates and bring it back to use in the war effort. Doesn't that sound fantastic?"

Red stared back silently for a while. "…That thing is real? And you _still_ didn't destroy the Earth?" His tone grew more exasperated than accusatory. "Even if we let you go—"

"There are two planets," Purple interrupted. "Who would go with you?"

Zim blinked. "…Uhhh…"

From across the room wafted a familiar female voice. "Wow, you got battle scars? That is so neat. Can I touch them? That looks like it hurt. Poke. I know! We'll douse it in kitchen grease—that always helps. Hey, can we chat sometime on the server? I don't have that many contacts—"

"I've got it." Red hit the table before leaning over to Purple. "We send Tenn with him."

"…How does that help us?" He whispered.

"The two most annoying passengers on the ship? It gets them out of our way. They'd be in space for months. A war without _Zim_."

Purple grinned and nodded vigorously. They turned back to the "invader."

"Okay, Zim" Purple said. "Do you think you can prepare to leave as soon as possible—immediately, actually—and take a companion with you to recover these _vital_ planets?"

"Yes, my Tallests!" Chipper as ever.

"Then go," Red flicked a hand. "And take Tenn with you."

Zim was already away from the table but he stopped and turned. "…Tenn?"

"No, Slacks—yes, Tenn!" Purple said.

"But she's so…"

"Off—go." Red waved, miffed at having to move his entire arm. "Don't make us tell you again."

"Y-yes sirs." Zim saluted as Tenn approached the table.

"Go with Zim," Red told her. "He'll fill you in. Depart as soon as possible. It'll be safer than Meekrob…possibly."

"…A field trip? A vacation? Departure immediately? Oh, yes, my Tallest, right away sirs—here I go!"

"…Tenn. Tenn. Let go of my hand." Zim looked repulsed as the two of them exited the cafeteria.

"…What are we going to do with the rest of them?" Purple wondered. "Why haven't we thrown them out the airlock yet? They're just all so ugly."

"The humans are dispensable at any time." Red rubbed his forehead and sipped his drink.

"Okay?"

"…Yeah. Anytime." He missed Purple's borderline-suspicious glance. A thought occurred to him. "The snack pods."

Gasp. "Oh my Irk! I will kill everyone on that ship." Purple rose and hovered quickly towards the door. Red hovered after, more slowly. One rebel suddenly stuck out in his mind who just might merit life in chains back on Irk's top-security prison rather than painful death.

* * *

Smack watched the proceedings with ever-narrowing eyes. Lard Nar's every word caused him to clench his fists, sometimes grind his teeth—that, and the crinkling, snapping, of plastic snack bags.

Once the Tallest was gone, it had been a matter of time. _That idiot girl…I was trying to help _her. _Doesn't she know they're a danger to _everyone_?_

"Snork's loss is bad enough." Lard Nar stalked around the bridge. "My second in command, offed by an unarmed fugitive?! Why wasn't there back up _helping him_?" The commander glared at Spleenk, at the navigation station. "Do you want to tell me?"

Spleenk cowered, stuttering some response about not having been on surveillance duty.

Lard Nar rounded on the rest of the Bridge—just about everybody. More popping snack bags. "And we lost the other two. I don't really care. What I care about is that…" He practically shook. "The _lack of effort_ when that rotten, damned bag of meat was running around—the…the audacity we had to retire after he was back on the _Massive_!"

Smack heard every crunch in the chamber. He couldn't help drawing a connecting his leader and the Irken scum they'd locked away a day ago: one celled innocent rogues for days without food. The other destroyed innocent worlds.

Nar's tone was minimally gentler. "Can someone tell mewhy there weren't guards outside the prison? Why they had to call reinforcements?"

Though he was across the room in his new chair by Nar's seat, Smack's chest tightened.

"…We blew it—except for the snack-raiding team." The same silence. Members woefully munched salty and sweet snacks, sipped colored, drinks, exchanged handfuls. Lard Nar's eyes swept the room; and slowly, their fire dimmed. His frown morphed into a straight line. He took a breath. His voice was low, but calm. "You all need rest. I don't want to see or hear anything more about this unless it's news. We need to mourn…and we need to recuperate. Regroup…remember, you can never be vulnerable for a second with them." Green-goggled eyes met each other pair. "Not _one second_. They just…they all have to be burnt to a crisp." He walked away from them.

Tension dispelled, people moved, and screens brightened. Trash crinkled. Smack was unmoving in his new chair. His eyes traveled through the floor, through the metal, through the present surroundings, to his mind's memory.

_Flashback_

_Smack gripped his father's huge hand more tightly, sprinting. Sirens blared deafeningly. Paetins ran everywhere. Green flames burned hot and bright above him as another roof caught fire. Most of the surrounding houses had burst into flame- from the cannons. Smack's father shouted for him to speed up and then, after a moment, hoisted him onto his shoulders._

_It'd been futile—to run. An Irken vessel cut off the street they'd been crossing. Two green-skinned figures jumped out and aimed their weapons._ _"__Stop!" _

_Smack's father, breathing hard, looked around wildly. A ladder on the side of a nearby building. He took off as fast as he could. "I_ _said STOP!" The shot pinged off the ladder. His father flinched and grasped the bars._

_It was an unaffordable second: the second bullet found his father's shoulder. A scream erupted—in the same breath, he shoved Smack up the ladder. __Smack's limbs shook violently. He quickly vaulted over the top, not looking back. Anxiety tore through as he leapt to a neighboring roof. He only stopped at the gunshot from the alley. Then he ran on with the fires._

_After what seemed hours, the barrages ceased. Irken ships gradually drew back._ _Smack understood, staring upwards through the smoke, but was powerless._

_Shadows staggered through streets. Green flames devoured roads dusted with ammo and powder. Smack's stomach contracted, and he turned from looking at the bloody sidewalk forms to catch sight of the overhead pink flashes. Weapons powering up. __Commotion up ahead…his planet's leader, some officials, before a huge screen they'd retrieved. Words were exchanged, Smack saw, and then transmissions cut._

_Lasers powered down…maybe their people could be of use: manageable under the invader, Flobee._

What now? _Smack looked around. Tears blurred his vision of those unmoving. _Get up…_ Green fire had swallowed everything. Charred faces of multifarious structures scraped the black sky. Not one was unscathed. _

_They had burnt his world to a crisp._

Smack was surprised to feel tears prick his eyes. How brutal, ruthless, was the Empire! Yet…the treatment of those girls, Lard Nar's latest statement, garnered a question he could not dispel: it demanded an answer.

_Who is my enemy?_


	11. Conversations

It started with me. "If you hadn't been so ignorant, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Look," Dib said, "I already told you it was a mistake—what else do you want?"

"To go home," Ruza said.

"Why don't we make the _best of it_?" Dwicky emphasized from the small table in his room, where we were all gathered. "Being an assistant isn't that bad."

"But Dib _is_ at fault."

"Hey—" He gritted his teeth.

"I've heard enough out of you."

"Ruza!" Dib tried again. "I already apologized. You're just being childish."

"Me? Who has an arch nemesis? Who tried to sell us out?"

Dwicky exhaled. "That's enough."

"I've had enough of _you_," Dib yelled. "I'm trying to help. For the past six months, what have you done to me? Called me names, made fun of my plans, and dissed paranormal studies. I've been trying to save our planet, and all you're doing is ridiculing me and everyone else nonstop."

_Wow._

Ruza's eyes grew less incendiary. The two stared each other down before her gaze found the floor.

"'Everyone else' is a bit of a stretch," Dwicky's tone was like honey compared to their whiny adolescents'. "Now, let's just drop this."

"Sorry."

Dib stared. "…Huh?"

"I said sorry…" It was a while before she continued. "You're right—I find it easy to make fun of you like you found it easy to comment on my cesspool home back on Earth. But that doesn't make my actions right. You're just trying to help."

"…You know, we've all known each other for almost a year now, and you still haven't told us your story," Dib said.

Ruza kept her eyes on the ground.

I spoke up, trying for gentleness. "You can trust us."

She let out a long breath and slightly nodded. "I just don't like to talk about it." Silence, until she pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. "…I lived down by the cesspool; and that's _not_ something to be ashamed of."

"I know," Dib put his hands up. "I'm sorry I criticized your area before. I, I actually don't know that much about it."

"Well, you should hear the stories of the people who live there before you judge them. Your dad's research isn't just for the rich city kids."

_True…_I hadn't thought of that.

"I can tell you about the day she kicked me out…I had gone to visit some…people in the morning…"

The little room seemed to evaporate. Soon, I could feel cold rain on my back as Ruse described it—an icy morning with overhead thunder, bike tires splashing through puddles…

_Flashback_

_Raincoats holding umbrellas hurried under roofs. Ruza pulled her hood more securely around her face with one hand and careened down a side alley on her bike. Downtown buildings boxed in her view._

_After another few minutes, she saw the dumpster marking their meeting point._ _She didn't have to wait long for the group of black bikes to pull into the alley. Six dismounted—in a few seconds, panic ripped through her. _Ralph isn't here… _he protected her. He was the mediator. This was going to be hard._

"_So?" the leader asked. "Did you bring me somethin'?"_

_Ruza dug in her pocket for the paper package and held it out. "Just like you said. From the one around the block."_

_His friends leaned in…He held up two shiny, gold necklaces. His tone was admiring. "Look, guys. Tell me how people think gold belongs behind just glass?"_ _They laughed._

"_A-about my…payment?" It had taken two months to plan that heist._

_He was still enthralled with the jewelry. _"_Payment?"_

"_Yes. You promised three hundred dollars!"_

_The leader smirked._ "_Look at you. So young, aren't you? What are you, eight? Ten?"_

"_I want my money," She forced the lump in her throat down. _Mom will be furious.

"'_I want my moneys, Billy,'" The others mocked. "The little brat wants her money, Bill." "Better give it." "Kinda scared, now."_

"_My moneys! Ralph promised me. He's not here but he'll find out. My mom works hard enough as it is."_

"_Oh, please, that woman barely does five hours a week at the bar." He turned to them. "Half the time she's drunk and flirting with all the good-for-no-"_

"_Give me my money!"_

"_Aw, she's mad, Bill."_

"_Get outta here," Bill crammed ten bills into her palm and shoved her. "Go home—we ain't got time for loiterers."_

"_This…" Anger tore through her. "isn't how much you promised me."_

_Billy reached for something in his jacket. Ruza was already around the corner, pedaling for life. The rain came in torrents, drenching her jeans. It seeped through her jacket. She didn't stop, until she reached the other side of the cesspool._

_Ruza threw her bike against the side of the house and put one ear to the door. Nothing. Good. She tiptoed in and slipped off her shoes. Mounting the steps, she was startled half to death by her mother's raspy shriek._

"_Ruza! S'at you?"_

_She cursed under her breath and barked back, "Yes. Who else?"_

_The reply was garbled, slurred._ "_…Walter with you?"_

_A groan. "No, mom. He's been gone for seven years."_

_A slight pause as this knowledge seemed to re-present itself to her mother. "…Did you visit your friends today?"_

"_They're not my friends! In fact, I think today was the last day I'm going—that sixteen-year-old- Billy—he almost had a gun on me."_

_Her mother emerged, hair in curlers, face adorned with cheap-looking goo. The bathrobe was stained with…something. Her eyes swollen and bloodshot. "You're going back every day until we have enough money to pay off this house."_

_"_Mom_!"_

"_I don't care, Ruza. You'll have to be more careful and keep your smart shut. How much did you bring me?...What?" She seized her daughter by a sleeve._

"…_Hundred and twenty."_

_A low, deep growl. She shoved Ruza against the wall. "Worthless brat! That's not enough! We need it now." The beginning of another rant. Ruza opted to sink against the stairwell wall as her mother stomped around, listing problems and linking them to her._

_By the end of that night, she'd packed her room into a suitcase under her mother's watch, and trundled back out the door. She walked until she came upon a metal chain link fence in front of a skool. By then, the sun was rising. The rain had stopped, and she decided to sit and rest for a while. The kids would be coming soon._

_End Flashback_

Ruza's arms circled her knees as she stared at a blank piece of pink wall.

Stunned, I spoke. "That was the day you started following me, after my first tutoring day."

"Yeah…"

"My dad never did that," Dib's voice was quiet…He was never really around, but at least he never yelled at us, hit us…at least he was always working for us.

"Ruza, thank you for telling us," Dwicky said. "Does it help you feel better?"

"Actually, I think I'd been waiting to tell someone…hoping. I just…it was so hard. I didn't know how you'd all take it."

"You can talk to any of us. We'll listen." He smiled.

She nodded distantly. "It's just all so new…and I don't want it to go away."

"We're going to be fine," Dwicky promised. Though, in his face, I looked close enough to see the unease even the counselor wore on the inside.

* * *

"How is your room?"

"Uh, it's nice." Embarrassed, I followed through narrow aisles of the _Massive's_ library. A vaulted ceiling overhead, endless shelves of data pads, and a computer work area in the back surrounded Red and me. Around, large signs read _VORT… PLEUKESIA… MEEKROB… BLORCH… GATRON…_so on. I enjoyed reading, but this was going to take a ridiculous amount of time."It's much better than a prison cell." Why did I have to premeditate everything I said to him? Because I felt every sentence could seal his opinion and my doom.

We stopped at a table before the workstations and sat across from each other. "You're right."

The awkwardness of being in his company left me mentally grasping for words. I could hardly look at him. We'd been across the silver hall from each other hours before, and I'd been perfectly able to converse. Remove the bars, and I was dumb—not the best representation to the Irkens of the intelligence of my species. There was the hum of the library lights. "Um, yeah…thanks for letting me stay here, and eat with you guys and stuff."

"That's still not a given." I internally flinched. "You'll stay here as long as you're useful."

_Well, I was pretty useful on the _Colossal_. So what am I supposed to do? What is useful_? What can I do that no one else can do? "Like what?...Do things like what?" I corrected myself. _I'm not even making_ _sense. I'm going to die. Oh, boy. Earth…_

Those ruby eyes fixed on me. "Whatever I want."

"R…ight." _This is terrible. _Not that, but my conversation. "…I'm sorry, I just—we just…" I inhaled. "We just got here, so I'm a little…"

"Flustered. I know." I stared. "I would expect as much. The _Massive_ isn't exactly an everyday mode of transportation."

I exhaled, nodded, internally wondering if _flustered _was a projection. "So, what do I need to know?"

"A lot more than I have time to tell you. You can use this—" he gestured around the room, "to help you. Ask Computer."

"We had one on Dwicky's ship."

His eyes narrowed. "Don't interrupt."

_Oh snap. _"Sorry." The vaulted ceilings were too high, and there was too much reading material, and there was too much to know, because they studied from smeet-_hood_ and that…had to be two hundred years ago. I couldn't form thoughts.

After a time, Red rolled his eyes. "I'm done."

"Oh," I smirked.

"Stilts, did you lose a few brain cells between here and the _Colossal_?"

His question was serious, but it loosened my reservations. "No, it's just, we're the first humans ever on board here, and I don't know what to do."

Red took a data pad from his PAK and started writing. "_Turns out…they can form…full sentences."_

I knew grabbing it would get me in trouble, so I crossed my arms and made a point of looking at him, trying not to smile. Red looked up and re-stored the data pad. "Dwicky's in the medical ward, and Dib's set up in the tech room."

Gratitude filled me. "Thank you. For, um, setting them up. For not just offing us once you got back."

Red looked at some shelf off to the side. "…It's still only temporary." He pointed a talon at me. "If you step out of line even once, you're done."

I was beginning to question how true that was, if we had rooms. Then again, the drones who'd been "air locked" had had a lifetime here. _Still in danger._ "So…the Resisty has us trapped here. I told my dad when I called him. He wasn't happy. I hadn't told him any of this—he didn't know."

Red nodded. "Trapped indefinitely…What do your people know? What does your planet do? Do you even have alien relations?"

"No." I felt my face warm. "Our military is…well, they don't know how to use their weaponry properly. They struggle to deal with...domestic problems." _Giant hamsters are exceptions. Cut yourself some slack.._ "But, what I saw out there…your people are well prepared." He stared at me. "Didn't you already put the Resisty down once?"

"We _would_ have," he said tightly, "if Zim hadn't screwed with our power core."

"Oh. That."

He studied me. "We'll see what you can do. Zim's word on you isn't final—especially not after the _Colossal_."

Hope rushed within me. This could work. This could actually work. "Yeah, well…you saved me on that turn."

"…Then left you." I sighed, shrugging, even though I resented that. "Come back tomorrow, this time." His tone was almost amiable. "Rarl or I might have time to lecture you for a little while. If this is going to work, you'll need to be more educated than you were under Dwicky."

"I think we both know he lacks a little in the education department." Ouch—did I say that? But Earth, he was grinning—grinning—and I was, too. _Way to throw Dwicky under the bus…_I smiled…_it could be true._

"Let's just be glad he's in the medical ward, and not getting my food."

I almost laughed. "What, is one more vital than the other?"

"See you tomorrow."

* * *

_Crunch. Crunch. Crunch._

The tan plastic bag crinkled between four fingers. They headed down 45 hall—apparently on the way to the Tallest's quarters.

Purple looked down to catch her staring at the bag, and his lips curled into a snarl—that high-pitched voice. "Don't even think about it."

Ruza sighed and stared at the metal beneath her standard boots. After a moment, her eyes flicked onto his hand again, she bounded forward, reached, grabbed the cookie on its way to his mouth, and shoved it into her mouth. She couldn't help the chortle that escaped her.

Purple stared, dumbstruck, frozen, before disbelief morphed into visible loathing. His eyes caught fire. "That was_—"_

"—was…pecans; or whatever nuts up here taste like them. Chocolate…" She chewed with concentration as the gaping eight-foot Tallest began to seethe. "Obviously flour, milk of some sort, vanilla…I bet I can make more of those. Fresh, though. Homemade."

Purple's fury was audible "_You_…" He turned and floated faster down the hall, giving a low growl. Ruza smirked, licked her fingers, and followed. _Safe. Gotta be safe. I can be useful. _"I'm serious about making more. We are in a shortage." _Yes. Quoting them. Good._

"We are in a shortage," he snapped. "You are about to be trading material for more snacks."

"Ooh."

Purple's voice was low and even when they stopped between two doors and faced the left. "Don't touch anything. Don't even breathe—your repulsive human carbon dioxide will contaminate it."

"Gotcha." She managed a smile, heaved a great breath, and held it. Her new superior rolled his eyes and pressed a hand against a wall panel. The door swished open.

Ruza's breath left her.

A huge television—bigger than the ones she'd seen at the Earth store. They could watch sports and shows on that—reality TV. She'd never had time to watch TV before because her mom hogged theirs and she'd been out trying to make money or get away from her…Ruza had seen a little of some funny sitcoms, though, and had decided TV was great. A balcony—if they were out on it, she guessed they could see the stars she'd learned about from Dwicky for the past six months. She knew a lot of them already. A snack bar, on the other side of the balcony, with a _huge_ refrigerator. She was explicably drawn to it: No one to share it with—not like in the cafeteria. Her own stash—well, not hers, but maybe…with time…

The fridge housed enough food for a year, she estimated. A bigger couch than the one in Ruza's room. A computer, shelves, all, all too much and wonderful and unbelievable and she couldn't take it in so suddenly. A mansion in a room.

She took a breath, but Purple cut her off. "Don't touch anything." More insistent.

Ruza exhaled, nodded, and stepped inside.

"As my assistant, you'll need to know a few things. A lot of things. So many things. Like my favorite foods, and universal policy—you can read some of the things I have from the archives." He frowned, waving a hand in front of her face. "Hello?"

Ruza blinked rapidly and shook her head. "Sorry."

He led her to a wall over the computer. Two shelves held many thin, seemingly metal, book-shaped…things.

"What are these?"

Purple took one and waved it close to her face. "A _data pad_?" Like the metal book-shaped thing should be universally known.

_A whole library in twenty data pads…_

Purple looked down, met her eyes, and his face fell slightly. "I have. an _alien_. in my room."

And it was currently knocking on the walls. "…Nothing can get through here…" Its voice was soft.

"No..."

Her eyes moved to the door. "That door is locked? I mean, it won't open?"

"Uh…right" Irk, were all of them this stupidly…interrogative? After Red's ordeal, it creeped Purple out more than he wanted to be creeped out.

"No one can come in unless you tell them to?"

"Which I can do!" He felt obligated to remind her.

"Yes, but I mean, it's secure. No surprises."

"…No." His eyes were on her, curious, inquisitive.

She grinned. "Great."

Purple squinted at her. "Okaayy."

"So, how many snacks you got?" She bounded to the counter. "Can I try them?"

"_No_!" He was pushing her back in a flash. "I said don't touch my food!"

"All right." To his surprise, she backed off, stood at a respectable distance. "I was just playing." She looked at him. "Though I was serious about making you things."

Purple was surprised to hear himself ask, "You were?"

"Yeah, I used to make my own food all the time."

"…Huh."

"What, didn't expect a smeet-aged kid to be able to make food?"

Purple's eyes narrowed a little. If Red refused to murder these stowaways, and the two of them were temporarily stuck with them, it would be best to find out what the thing knew at this moment.

"All right, 'Ruza,'" He smirked. "You have a strange name. But I'll call you whatever I want. 'Slave monkey' sounds nice." Her surprise and his smirk both grew. "Now…" He hovered to the shelf, grabbed two or three data pads, and returned. "Irken history—through the last four Tallests."

She took it in her weird, fleshy, five-fingered hand.

"Universal politics—the last fifty years of conventions and wars." His tone was less enthusiastic now that she was touching his stuff.

"_Oohh_."

He muttered, "And the best cuisine in the universe. Don't...breathe on that." "Thanks." She looked happier than he'd seen her yet. Great: he was worse than he'd been since Red returned. "I'll learn them."

Purple frowned. "You're quick to take other people's things."

Her green eyes met his. They weren't an entirely gross color. She was frowning. "So are you," her voice came.

Silence—painful. Something contorted in him at an unfamiliar and hated discomfort. That shouldn't be here, shouldn't be here. He settled on, "Shut up" as a comeback. _Good. That was good. I like that._

"Can we go onto the balcony?" Seemingly unfazed, she headed toward the star-filled glass door. _…Shoulda yelled it. _"Wow, look at that. That one's…I know that galaxy, Dwicky taught us about it."

"Know where Planet Jacker's system is?" He asked wryly.

"Um…blue star, blue star…well, there's a lot of them. Trick question!"

"No, it's not a trick question. The Planet Jacker's system lies between two nebulas. It's over there."

"…Oh."

_Why am I pointing it out? Why am I bothering? _He was genuinely curious about something, and it provided a subject change: "Hey, what happened…on the _Colossal_?"

"On the _Colossal_?" Her voice was small. "…Well…Hannah and I were thrown into cells across from Red—Tallest Red. We got kidnapped for being in the way of the rebels. They didn't want to take Zim, Dib, or Dwicky because of their universal reputations. Actually, Dib was just annoying them."

Purple smirked. "You mean big head?"

Ruza chuckled.

Purple actually laughed before he could catch himself. "He always was annoying. He called us once from Zim's computer. It was almost worse than the time Zim said our names for three hours straight...So, cells?"

"Yeah. Then we got to know the warden—of sorts—Smack. Third in command of the Resisty." Purple nodded. "And eventually, Red woke up, we convinced him to let us free—Smack, I mean."

"Hair." Purple stuck out his tongue. "It's disgusting." He was looking at hers. "You have so much of it on your head…all the way down your back. It's gross."

Ruza rolled her eyes. "Okay, so _anyway_, Hannah decided to break Red out and help him escape, much to my disagreement. We somehow made it out. Red flew the escape pod…you probably know the rest. The chase. Our landing."

Purple folded his arms and his eyes narrowed. "You're telling me two humans got him out of a _Colossal_ jail cell? With _your brains_. You're not even _that_ tall."

"That doesn't mean we can't think! Smack wouldn't just release Red—he hates him. The whole Resisty—"

"The Resisty hates _both_ of us. And I don't see how two rogues had the power to get him out of there."

"He's here, isn't he?"

Purple couldn't argue with that.

"We've seen news programs, but what's going on right now? What's the big picture?...And don't tell me to go read the last few chapters of the politics book."

"Data pad. Basically, the Resisty attacked an invader, and we've been at it since. The Empire has never had an adversary that lasted more than about ten minutes. But they're back, and we had to pull all the invaders out…" His face morphed into a frustrated expression.

"What about all the planets you conquered?"

"They're still being watched, but we just can't send in anyone right now. The Resisty would love to decapitate some of us. You know, heads and all."

"Yeah. Heads…

"So," she looked around. "We're actual passengers now?...and Hannah and I have access to all this?"

"Ehh." He headed inside. "You take your little 'books'—data pads—and study. And you come back after however long humans take to sleep and eat. You'll report to the cafeteria during breakfast on every normal day. You'll bring me things, once I make it clear what I want regularly…" His volume dropped as his tone iced, "and once we restock on the essentials. You'll address me as _sir_, of course." He added another two pads to her stack. Purple watched her eyes slowly widen. She was silent. He frowned. "Something wrong?"

* * *

The Launching Deck was comprised of terminals: Irken ships spread right and left in a V shape. Zim, Gir, Tenn, and her own SIR unit stood at the entrance, where these rays met.

"Why is your robot so quiet?" Gir waved a hand in front of Tenn's SIR, which didn't respond.

"After that Meekrob incident, I have trouble trusting SIRs. It was traumatizing. Know anything about that, Zim?"

"Nope!"

"This is the SIR I got on Conventia. He's always obedient, but he doesn't talk much, or do much. I like him!"

"Let's go," Zim said, eager as ever to start the mission.

Irkens rushed about the Deck, coming in, going out, or checking inventory. Several pushed carts of equipment. The repetitive roars of engines and takeoffs sounded.

Zim, donning a determined look, dove into the chaos. He leapt over carts and zigzagged among soldiers. A huge vehicle carrying packaged explosives careened out of control in front of him. It turned horizontal, cutting off his path, skidding quickly. Zim whipped around and spotted a cart piled with damaged ship parts, shoved the pusher aside and charged up a makeshift ramp. He grinned as he watched the spinning truck pass beneath him. Barely catching a wire holding an array of bulletins, he zip lined down the Deck, laughing.

He finally released the string and executed a perfect double back flip. As his feet hit the floor, the truck exploded on the other side—screams. Zim grinned as papers fluttered around him. One of them landed on his face. "No one compares to Zim's innovative genius!"

The other three hovered up on a platform. Tenn sipped a Poop Cola, Gir was read the newspaper, and Tenn's SIR just stood there.

"How did you-?.. Gimme." Zim tore her soda away and took a loud slurp.

"Terminal seven hundred and four! They moved you down, Zim. We're almost at the end."

"Heyy. It's you." Gir pulled the paper off Zim and held it up. On it, the word "_Wanted"_ topped an image of Zim above a list of names: Sizz-Lor, the Hobo 13 general, and a good representation of most species in the universe. Zim ripped it to shreds, muttering through gritted teeth. Gir started to cry. "You—you _killed_ it…" Zim rolled his eyes and walked into his terminal. Guards had been posted, but they grudgingly let the group pass, obviously having gotten word from the Tallest.

"Everyone in—quickly, quickly. No backseat driving." Once everyone was seated in the back ("Zim, move your seat forward." "I can't breathe!" "You're a robot, Gir, you don't need to breathe. I'm seriously getting cramps back here." "Quiet, all of you!") The "invader" started the engine. "We're going to find those planets, and become war heroes!"

Tenn and Gir cheered. Zim revved the engine. The Cruiser shot out of the terminal and turned right, soaring into space. Gradually, the _Massive_ grew smaller, disappeared, and thick, star-studded blackness was its replacement.

The pilot quickly grew bored with the familiar terrain. "Computer. Track the Mars-planet. Use your scanners to trace its molecular makeup and lock onto it's location."

"_Searching…_"

For a while, silence. Well, near silence: Tenn and Gir were playing some hand-clapping game in the back. "Five muffins, six muffins, seven muffins, eight."

"Put 'em in the oven till they taste great!"

Zim frowned. "Is that necessary?"

Tenn turned to him, completely serious. "Considering I can't move my legs? Yes. Yes it is."

Zim sighed and sat back in his seat. He should be blowing up things! "…_So_, eh, what was Meekrob like?"

"Muffins—what?" She turned her head.

Zim growled. "The Meekrob—those philosophic shoe creatures."

"Oh, Zim, you know that's just a myth."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-_huh_. The Meekrob are intelligent, dignified creatures, not shoes."

"Fine."

"…Let's tell them starting from the time we left Conventia."

Three sets of eyes gawked at Tenn's SIR unit. "You…spoke," Zim said.

Gir started to tear up. "It's a miracle."

"Oh come on, guys," Tenn glared. "Lio speaks, just less than most. He's probably bored being immobile, too. So. You want to start from Conventia?"

Gir pulled a huge container of buttered popcorn out of his head. "Story time!"

"No," Zim exclaimed. "Gir, don't—"

The bag exploded open, spewing kernels into every inch of the Cruiser. Zim dug his head out of a huge, yellow pile and coughed some more out of his airway.

"Feel lucky you can move." Tenn snarled from the back.

"Yeah, yeah, just get on with the story." Zim's chair swiveled so he was facing them, which gave Tenn and the robots infinitesimally more room.

"Well," Tenn clawed kernels out of her eyes. "the last time we saw you two was at the Equipping Station, where you got Gir and I got Lio."


	12. Grax

In the morning, Rarl took me to meet Schnell, the head of the kitchen. I'd seen the entrance from the cafeteria, but I wasn't prepared, even after the enormous library, for what awaited me behind those few machines visible from the picnic tables.

The kitchen was easily the size of four football stadiums. The ceilings were lower than the library, but they didn't need to be high, anyway. Irkens scurried in all directions. Stoves lined one infinitely long wall, flames flaring as chefs laid trays of steaming food on long counters for preparation. Others with knives and blenders and every kind of utensil ready arranged every plate to commercial perfection. Finally, a third group ran the dishes to the opposite wall: a series of pink chutes designed to transport it all over the ship-Purple had mentioned these. There was a tube in my room, as well. There were two larger tubes, which common sense told me were the Tallest's. If I tried to estimate the number of chutes, my best guess would be around five or six hundred. Other appliances filled the gigantic space: microwaves, ovens, huge pantries, a glass case the size of my house reserved for pastries, a walk-in refrigerator full of drinks that would keep a planet hydrated for a good century.

It would have, at least,_ if_ they'd all been filled. After the events of what most were deeming the "First Skirmish," everything was depleted. I thought the Irkens were being a little egotistical with that name. It had been the first real conflict between the armadas, but it hadn't been over quickly- I'd measured every minute.

Everyone in the kitchen seemed to be working except Schnell, who was relaxing in his chair and sampling some of the passing platters. "Rule number one around here," he said in a low voice, " is _never_ send anything up those two big chutes unless it's _perfect_." His voice sent slight chills down my spine.

"So, no pressure." I sounded too cheerful to even myself.

Schnell regarded me. "Do you know the basics of cooking?"

"…Honestly, I think your race defines 'basics' a lot differently than mine does. I've made a few meals before..."

"Like what?" Oh boy. Now I had Rarl's and Schnell's attention.

"I've made…macaroni and cheese—it's…like a pasta. With cheese."

"Okay. What about desserts?"

"The occasional cake for…a special occasion. Nothing fancy. My dad usually does frosting."

"We have people for that." Schnell nodded, smirking. "Specialists- one or two. What else?"

"Um…" _Think, think! _"Probably anything basic. I can memorize recipes well. I have a good visual memory." _Yeah!_

"You _do _know the difference between boiling and simmering, right?"

"…Um…"

"The basic temperature for melting chocolate?"

"…_Yeah_, but see, with the space, it might be different than...on Earth..."

"How do you use a meat thermometer?"

"Yes- you stick it in the meat."

"Wrong." _Dang it. _"You have to measure the temperature before and again after cooking, in the same spot. Can you make smooth gravy? We fired a guy last month for making lumpy gravy- had to go back to Irk. Lucky one- he's eating better than we are here. Do you know the proper crinkliness of bacon? Or how to get chips in every part of a muffin? How to avoid making pie too puffy?"

I exhaled. "Stop, stop...No. I really don't know anything about any of that."

Schnell fixed me with a look of disdain. "Humans."

"Disrespectful and uneducated," Rarl said. He didn't look happy, either.

"Okay. Once we get the restocked ingredients, you can start making your own stuff. For now, I'll show you where everything is and you can watch the regulars work. The simplest way to learn is experimentation. Unfortunately, you don't have the flexibility for that yet, so you'll be copying them."

"Sounds good." _I wouldn't want to experiment. We're good._

Schnell turned back to me. "How long are you here?"

"I honestly don't know."

He sighed—more of a groan. "Probably not long, with your empty head."

* * *

"After we left Conventia, Lio and I waited eight weeks to reach Meekrob. It turns out their favorite food is egg rolls. They adore them."

"Egg rolls?" Zim asked.

Tenn nodded, now sitting criss-cross on the Cruiser floor. "So, as a base of operations, we opened a new fast-food restaurant: '_Tess_ and Lio's Cheese Rolls.'"

"They sound good!"

"They are, Gir. They're delicious. And the Meekrob ate them by the hundreds. The restaurant was a complete success. No one suspected anything—they were completely oblivious."

"Some dignified, intelligent creatures," Zim said. "They sound like revolting humans."

"The Meekrob accepted us as their own. We built hover shoes and holographic disguises to transform into floating Meekrob citizens. Everything was going perfectly…until…"

"Until what?"

"The sugar mites…" Lio's voice was dark.

"Whuzzat?" Gir asked.

"The sugar mites are-"

"Whuzzat?"

"They _are_ a horrible insect race that sniffs out sugar from miles away." Tenn answered.

"They came by the thousands."

"I'm still trying to absorb the fact that you can talk," Zim pointed at Lio.

Tenn continued. "We gave out sauce with the rolls…it was filled with sugar. And none of our books had mentioned the mites, so we were totally unprepared."

"What happened?" Zim asked, finally interested in his fellow invader's story.

"The locals became suspicious—everyone else knew how to fend them off. Only a foreigner would know so little about such a common creature. We contacted the Tallest, but they said to get over it…'how much harm can a little bug do?'" Her face fell slightly. "We couldn't convince the wise beings we were one of them any longer. The Meekrob burned the restaurant and tried to capture us. We escaped into my underground base until I finally caught the Tallest on a good day and they agreed to send me the Mech. Unfortunately, there was a package mixup…"

"Eh?" Zim raised an eyebrow.

"…You still don't know what happened?"

"The Tallest sent _me_ a Mech." He frowned.

"No- they were trying to send the MegaDoomer to _me_."

"Nonsense! They wouldn't send Zim a package of rogue SIRs. What would I do with that?"

"Destroy more Irken property, most likely," Lio said.

"You. Be quiet." Zim turned back to Tenn. "They forgot your batteries, anyway. Who forgets to put batteries in a MegaDoomer before sending it across the universe?"

Tenn blinked. "…The Tallest?"

Red lights flooded the cabin, stunning Zim. Sirens blared. Zim spun to the controls, immediately pressing a bunch of buttons. "Computer! What's going on?"

"_Proximity warning—planet ahead."_

"Planet? There isn't—oh. There is one. That isn't supposed to be there."

"Guess we lost track of time," Tenn shrugged.

"What's the big deal? You didn't pull this on Earth, Computer."

"_Gravitational pull is too strong. Ship cannot maintain altitude."_

"What? That's the stupidest thing I've ever…" Zim gasped. "Wait! Don't tell me we're near… Foodcourtia."

"_Negative. Planet is named Vort_."

Zim sighed. "Oh. Vort."

Everyone locked eyes. "_Vort?!"_

"We're gonna die!" Tenn screamed. "We're going to die. I should have never gone with you, Zim. You always get into trouble. Or get me into trouble. Am I cold? Do I feel cold?" She pressed Lio's hand against her forehead. "I feel faint. Zim! Get us out—!"

"Will you shut up and let me think?" The cruiser was tilting sideways. Zim saw the dark gray planet, closer than anticipated. "Not good. Not good. We have to get out quickly! Computer, use the remaining hyper fuel to launch us past Vort!"

"_Okay."_

The ship's engines revved. Zim yanked the steering stick hard to the right, away from Vort. Just as he was about to laugh, the power died. All the power. Immediately, gravity sucked the Voot backwards and the four of them were thrown against the wall.

"_What_? What happened?"

"The fuel must have run out." Tenn looked out the window. The planet was drawing slowly closer.

"We're doomed!" Gir pressed his face to the glass.

"Zim, what do we do?"

"Ah, eh… uh…" Zim frantically flipped switches, but not even Computer was on. The cruiser tipped to a more severe angle and gained speed.

"Ahhh!" Everyone was thrown to the side of the window. "Definitely going to faint. This is worse than the sugar mites. Lio, you've been a good SIR. If I had a will, you'd be in it. Does anyone else feel the air getting thinner?"

"Calm down." The SIR's tone was flat. He addressed Zim. "I'm guessing you uninstalled the airbags in this thing."

"…Gir used them to make pillows."

"They're really soft," Gir's voice came from somewhere.

"Your SIR unit's an idiot," Lio said.

The ship rocked and spun, gaining speed each second. Zim strained his neck and saw they were entering Vort's atmosphere. "We're _going to crash_!**" **The others screamed. The ship bounced and jerked from side to side. He and Tenn were thrown into the other wall with so much force Zim felt it in his teeth. She went limp. "Tenn!"

"Mistress, wake up!"

Zim felt the Cruiser brush against something his brain somehow deciphered as trees.

That's the last thing he registered.

* * *

The Massive was designed by the Vortians. The huge metal plates took decades to craft, meld. There was only one model, because of the cost and the obvious fact that it was bigger than a few dwarf stars.

Since I'd spent a day onboard, I'd had time to learn what was on some floors. There were hundreds of areas, and I knew I couldn't learn them all; but so far, the significant things were locked in my brain. I watched the surface of a moon move upward toward us through a window, in a crowd of Irkens, and mentally recited floors and their features.

_Floor forty-five, Tallest's quarters. Floor forty, Control Room and lounges. Thirty-five is the food—kitchen, cafeteria. Something else…there—oh, classrooms. No, wait, those are thirty-four with the training, exercise equipment. Yeah, so food and then training underneath that…_

Purple's shrill voice interrupted my thoughts. "Welcome, everyone, to Callnowia's largest moon, Grax. We haven't docked in months, so if you've been waiting to experience thriving, refreshing ecosystems with panoramic views…"

Eyes lit and necks craned towards the windows.

"…Then you've come to the wrong place. This is a _mall_ planet. Fuel and mall. That's it. " Several disappointed voices. "Now, listen up, because I'm not saying this more than once: departure is in eight hours—that's sundown, for all of you who can't read!"

Red smirked. "Come back in eight hours and one minute, and we'll gladly leave you."

"Buy anything your moneyless hearts desirel, but be back on time. Don't blow anything up—we shouldn't have that problem now that Zim's gone—and be cautious of any Vortians or Paetins you see. Grax is an independent entity. Still, don't be stupid. Any questions?"

"Uh, I have on-"

"Good. Now all of you leave. Go!"

Passengers rushed out of the opening door, eager for sunlight and shopping. We'd landed outside a fueling station that took up most of my view, but I could tell around it there was more to see. Amid the mass of green, Dwicky ended up near me. I felt the material underneath the pair of boots I'd been given-metal to soil. "…Hey. Never thought I'd feel the ground again," he said. "Turns out the medics are low on supplies, too." A hand tapped him on the shoulder and a female Irken motioned him along. Dwicky turned back to me. "Sorry—gotta go learn what's necessary for treating all kinds of things. I'll see you later, though, okay? Stay close. Be careful."

"I will." I rounded the fueling station, where several Irkens were conversing already with other aliens. I arrived at the front façade of a sprawling, outdoor mall. Smooth concrete walkways, some decorative foliage sprinkled in, a fountain here and there…shops everywhere.

"Look at that!" I saw a flash of red hair rushing toward a shop window. "That's cool!"

"Ruza, wait for me." Dib's voice, from somewhere. Several Irkens were gathered in front of that window, to—in front of some technology store. I smirked and left the kids to their devices.

_Watch stores…clothing stores…restaurants…_

"Hey." I turned. Schnell was walking towards me. "You. Human…what's your name?"

"Hannah."

"Yeah. We need to get ingredients from the main store. Follow me, and I'll show you how much we need and explain what everything's for."

_Wow… _"Okay, thanks."

He walked in front of me and offered an explanation. "The Tallest put me up to it."

My happiness dropped. "Oh."

"I don't know what you're doing here. We've never had another species on board. But…if the rumors are true, maybe you're not completely intolerable."

I was hesitant to ask. "Rumors?" …_About Red?_

"About the Tallest," he answered simply.

We walked through the crowded mall until we turned and entered a large storefront. From what I could tell from the front, it was a supermarket—they had clothing, a food section, and I even glimpsed small ship parts in one corner. "This way." Weaving through aisles of merchandise, I lost my sense of direction. "We're gonna have to ask them to package bulk amounts of everything and haul it onto the ship," Schnell said. "But they can do it. They're store monkeys—what else are they for?" His voice grew more distant as I followed around a corner, and then another.

"Where are we going?" I asked after a few minutes.

"The seasonings first. I'll show you how to mix ginger and oregano for meat dishes."

_The things I would trade for _that_ kind of knowledge..._I thought wryly. _Although...things like this could hold my life in the balance..._


	13. The Battle of Meekrob

"What's going on?" Ruza strode with Dib back onto the metal floor of the Launching Deck.

"I don't know. I heard people saying something about Meekrob-Tenn. Apparently, the Resisty's attacking it. And the Armada is heading there to stop them."

"The Resisty, attacking Meekrob? Why would they do that?...Isn't Tenn with Zim?"

"Careful with those boxes." A figure was quickly motioning to a group of supermarket workers hauling huge containers onto the Deck. Hannah stood beside him. "We don't have all day."

Ruza and Dib moved through the Deck amongst the Irkens. "Yeah…Zim and Tenn are on some wild goose chase," Dib said. "The only reason I can think of for Lard Nar to attack Meekrob is vengeance."

She looked at him. "…Maybe it's a power play. Like, they feel it's fair game without Tenn…I'm not keen on going back near those people. It hasn't even been a week!"

Dib frowned. "I'm still not keen on being _here_." They passed through the doors and into the hall. "I mean, you and the others aren't bad, it's just…we're surrounded by _them_." Dib exchanged glares with a random Irken in the hallway for a few seconds before Ruza tugged on his arm.

"But they're letting us stay. It may be hard to get used to, but we have somewhere safe, you know?"

"I'd be safer on my own…on _our_ own."

"You two." Dwicky's voice came from behind them. Dib and Ruza turned to see him being pulled past them by a female medic. "I have to go help in the infirmary for the next few hours. But you should go up to Control and watch. It'll be an educational experience." He was around the corner before both of them could respond.

Dib and Ruza looked at each other. "…Space battle?"

"Watching it?"

"Front row seats?"

"…_Let's go."_

Dwicky's voice again, after they'd bounded past him. "You know we won't be at Meekrob for another four hours…"

* * *

"Sir!" Schloontapooxis called from the weapons button. "What did the council say?"

Lard Nar stalked onto the Bridge, Smack and several others trailing in behind him. "They refused to negotiate. The _citadel_," he practically spat, "'peacefully refused' our offer." He stood at a console in the center of the Bridge. "So it's a good thing they don't have a proper military." He threw a finger at the triangle creature. "Schloontapooxis. Knock yourself out."

Smack walked to the window, looked over the pinkish world, and tried to envision the Irkens' similarly-colored planet in its place. All he could muster were images of the Meekrob council, the sound of their civil voices, and the prospect of their cities in flames.

* * *

The air on his face was like someone's breath.

"Uggghhh…" Zim slowly opened his eyes, drifting back into consciousness… What was going on? An image came into focus, inches from him—it was green—no, black and—

"Waaa!" He jerked back from Tenn's face, flailing arms meeting only air. He fell back onto metal, and his muscles protested.

A dull metal room around them. A camera in the corner watched his movements. Tenn groaned, frowning, her eyes still closed.

"Jail?" Zim matched her expression. "On…Vort!" He shook her shoulder. "_Wake up."_

Pain in his face and he was on the floor again. Muscles—pain. Tenn sat up and lowered her fist. "Whoa…where are we?...Uh, sorry."

"Sensors indicate Vort." Lio's voice warbled through the dim light. Tenn paused, then gasped quietly. "I can't activate my PAK legs. Zim, they disabled our weapons. What do we do? I bet there are guards right outside!"

"Hmm…" He stepped up to the door, tapped his chin for a moment, and proceeded to slam his fists into the metal. "Let me out! No one keeps Zim in a cell! I demand an explanation!"

"Shut up!" Tenn said. "Lio, are your weapons disabled?"

"…Yes," He spat.

A pounding from the other side of the door. A muffled voice: "Keep it down, Irken scum."

"What do we do? Oh my Irk, we're doomed. Wait—again. That's twice just today."

"Isn't it great?" Gir said.

"No."

"Can I make a call?" Zim yelled through the door.

"No!" Came the guard's voice.

He snapped. "I thought that was foolproof."

"We'll have to dig a tunnel using Gir's head…" Tenn began pacing. "We'll tunnel under the prison, for a few miles just to be safe, and then try to find a ride off the—"

_Bang. Bang. Bang. _Zim called again. "Just wanted to say thank you for the couch you so kindly provided."

There was a tense pause before a metal lock moved, and air hissed as the door opened a fraction. A Vortian peeked in, glancing around the small chamber in confusion. "What cou—?"

Zim punched the guy's lights out before he could finish—"Hey!" The other one called—and knocked out his partner next. Then, holding open the door, he motioned his group out.

"Where to?" Tenn asked.

"Uhhh…uhhh—this way. Follow me." He dove down a passage with an overhead _Exit _sign and an arrow pointing left.

"We are way too conspicuous," Tenn said. "They're going to—"

The voice of a nearby guard. "Irkens!" He pointed to the four. "Everyone! Look!" People turned—guards, staff.

_This may not be the _opportune _time to be running around on an enemy planet, _Zim thought.

Armed police poured around a corner. Zim and Tenn yelped, exchanged terrified looks, and grabbed their SIRs. The group tore down the left hallway with about a twenty yard lead on the cops.

"We're gonna die."

Zim spoke with a sarcastic edge although he was panting now. "Why do you say that?"

"Because we're fugitives running for our lives on an enemy world!"

Zim smirked. "Right. I do that all the time."

"…Look out!" Before them, the airtight door to the outside was automatically closing, yellow-orange lights spinning, flashing, on either side. They were still too far to make it through the closing gap into the dark night beyond.

"I don't want to be taken apart." Lio's voice was mournful.

"Okay, okay." Tenn glanced around quickly. "Uhh…"

"Gir!" Zim grabbed the robot by the head. "Obey everything I'm about to tell you."

Officers pounded around the corner, gaining on them, their polished shoes crashing on the metal floor.

Gir saluted up at Zim, eyes crimson, listening for instructions. Zim pulled his arm back and threw the SIR unit along the floor. Gir skidded and spun but came to a stop below the vertical monster of a door, halting its downward progress. Twenty yards to go.

"That was your plan?" Tenn growled.

"I don't see you complaining!"

"Ouch!" The door strained against the obstruction in its path. Just seconds before it probably would have crushed Gir, the other three slid through the gap and Zim yanked him from underneath. The door groaned to the ground.

"Now just to get past the outside guards," Lio said.

"I have a headache…"

Tenn raised an invisible brow. "Robots don't get headaches."

Gir pointed a finger at her. "_You_ try it!"

"I'm not a robot."

"Enough," Zim frowned, running a little ahead of Tenn. "We need to—"

A shot sparked on the ground too near them. Zim recoiled slightly and sped up.

"There's a fence." Tenn pointed; but the guards on the upper levels of the prison Zim could see were simultaneously aiming at them.

"Go that way!"

Tenn shrieked as Zim shoved her one way before diving the other. Scrambling to her feet, she wove side to side as the fence came into clearer view in the darkness. Closer…closer…she could reach the chain links. Shots were hitting the pavement around them like sprinkles on a cake.

"Careful—"

"Ack!" Zim's hand almost got shot off. He yanked it back. "Climb!" Somehow, they vaulted over the fence without getting blown to bits. As soon as their feet hit the ground on the other side, they were off. "…_That_ could have been a lot easier."

"We need a place to hide!"

"And disguises!"

"And food!"

"Clothing store?" Tenn panted after several minutes, pointing to an upcoming shopping center.

Zim frowned. "I wish it didn't have to be Vortian clothing."

Needless to say, wishing didn't help his situation at all.

* * *

Lasers tore the planet's surface. Bombs fell like rain, obliterating everything within a mile radius. Buildings burned and then crumbled. The streets were filled with screaming. All across the pink surface, gunfire ripped the Meekrob and their city to pieces, peppering every surface in the citadel.

Smack watched from onboard _Colossal _one silver ship with an enormous projector on its back moved to the top of the citadel's main tower. Blue light cut through the haze. A hologram of Lard Nar's face was transmitted into the air. The rebel commander's voice sounded across the burning landscape.

"Hello, _Meekrob_. I'm sorry to report your innocent little 'neutrality' act is…well, over." Another wave of bombers unloaded- a swell of screaming and many explosions, followed by smoke. He leered. "Yes, very nice." Children flew through streets, trying in vain to find their families.

"The thing is, I don't care for formalities." The citadel finally collapsed with a roaring cacophony. Nar looked down and smirked. "Hope there wasn't a meeting going on...Anyway, in light of our power and your current circumstances, I lay before you, again, our offer of alliance." His tone was sickeningly slippery. "I believe it's most compelling now."

More destruction—falling buildings, crushed people, cries. "As incentive…" He bit back a chuckle. "As further incentive, I pledge to honor your sorry names in the council of the rebellion."

"We have enough allies for a council already? Woo!"

"Shut up, Schloon!" He faced the Meekrob again. "You'd do well to _listen_ to me, sorry swine."

Still no dice. Nar banged a fist on a table. A few Meekrob looked up. "That's better...now, consent to our terms, or have the rest of your planet wiped off the map. Hello? Are-?"

A crackling sifted through the speakers, cutting off his last few words. Nar looked confused for a moment, until the third voice came over the line and his eyes narrowed into slits. "_That's a good plan, except for one detail: _we_ own all the maps in the universe."_

"Tallest Red!" He turned from the smoldering world. "I was afraid you'd miss the viewing."

The Armada loomed over the rebel forces. Pink ships swarmed around the _Massive_. "_We wouldn't miss the chance to see your handiwork,_" Purple said. "_Although, it is kind of…"_

"_Diminished—"_ Red supplied.

"_By the fact that you didn't conquer it."_

Nar scoffed. "You didn't conquer Meekrob. Your invader was in danger when you called across-the-board evacuations."

"_But she gathered valuable information."_ Lard Nar could hear Red's smirk.

Purple said, "You don't know their favorite food, or the fact that they aren't persuaded by material trade."

Smack crossed his arms and muttered, "I could have told you that. They don't wear clothes! And they float!"

Lard Nar threw him a short grin before turning back. "Enough of this. We're ready for you." Gray ships moved uniformly toward the Armada, weapons powering up in seconds.

"_Whoa, whoa."_ Red's voice was coated in mock surprise. "_Hold it."_

The Resisty wore confused looks. "What-?" Nar frowned.

_"…That's it? No warm welcome? Since when do you steal and destroy something of ours without permission, Nar?"_

"This is not yours to annihilate!...You _lost_ that privilege. How did you know to come here?!"

Purple's voice. "_Let's just say we're raising security_."

The rebel pilots regained their bearings, and weapons powered up again. "Fine. Meekrob will still burn." His dark tone lilted, a shock of malice firing out of the speakers. "But feel free to join them!"

He motioned to his ships. "Go!"

Everyone on the Bridge watched, mesmerized, as their vessels flew to meet the Armada, whose ships, in turn, dove to meet them.

There were a few last moments of relative silence, in which Smack listened, and heard a beginning slipping away.

Then, absolute chaos erupted in Meekrob's backyard. Shots were fired before gunners aimed. Ships wove through tangles of lasers, metal, and dust. The two capital ships faced each other, observing the violent field below, where even the Meekrob must have known raged the first battle in a universal war. After fifteen minutes, the Irkens had carved a dent in the enemy's ranks as the rebels continued to bomb the planet. It was quickly obvious the Armada held a distinct advantage.

_The Meekrob definitely won't side with us now, _Smack thought.

* * *

The Meekrob gawked silently through the smoke and rubble at the battle. They understood the intentions of both sides, more or less. The one thing they didn't grasp was how all of this had come into their territory from the actions of one Irken.

* * *

_10 Minutes Later…_

Zim, Tenn, Gir, and Lio sat panting in barstools inside the _Stainless Steel. _They all were donned in conspicuous apparel from the clothing store, so even though they stood out, they'd managed to avoid the cops' eyes.

"Whelp," a Vortian policeman said to the bouncer at the _Stainless _door behind them, "Sorry for disrupting your scene here. Thought for sure those unfashionable Irken rogues were hiding."

"Believe me, if we find 'em, you'll be the first person we call." They could hear his grin. "We'll run experiments on their guts the way their people do to other races."

"Aw, you know it." The two shared a good-natured laugh before the squad cars could be heard screeching out of the lot and the door closed.

Tenn sighed and slumped to the counter. "Whew…that was an intense motor chase."

"Especially the four-story couch store part where we hid in the elevator until the officer landed in a bottomless couch and the staff had to call for a claw to extract him."

"Yeah, that was almost crazier than the chase we heard about on the _Colossal," _Tenn said.

"My favorite part was the chocolate factory."

Zim stared. "…Gir, there are no chocolate factories here."

"There are in my head!"

A new, female voice joined the conversation. "What was that about the _Colossal_?" Zim turned to the barstool to his right, where a cloaked figure sat. Her deep violet covering concealed her face except for triangular, crystal blue eyes. She watched them with what appeared to be curiosity.

"Who are you? Mind your own business!"

"Zi—ah, _Tim_," Tenn said. "Be civil."

"Forgive me." The smooth voice responded. "My name is Ixane. I didn't hear the rest of your conversation- only 'the _Colossal';_ and I couldn't help speaking. I used to work on the _Colossal_, before we retook Paetin."

Tenn's voice was slightly uneasy. "Is that so?"

"Yes. I was part of the first attack on the _Massive_, in fact."

"…Oh…those horrible…" Zim faltered. "Filthy…Irken…scumbags. So loathe-worthy."

"…Yes."

Tenn leaned across Zim and adjusted her glasses. "So, how did you end up here?"

"The onboard staff was restructured a few months ago. Those of us who'd been working the longest got to return to Vort. They swapped in more soldiers to give us a break."

"Oh, well that's…nice of them." Tenn managed.

"I'm quite enjoying not vacating ships at a moment's notice, and taking cover from the Armada's attacks." She nodded. "Although, I hear the fleet is doing much better at the moment."

"Oh yeah," Tenn grinned. "We're uh…I mean…devouring those Irkens…so badly…they don't know what hit 'em. You hear about that, um, scrap a couple weeks ago? Wasn't even a real fight...Suckers."

There was a touch of humor in Ixane's voice. "I see. And what brings you here from the _Colossal_?"

"We're. Uh…"

"We got fired."

"For…"

"Not knowing…"

Tenn and Zim exchanged uneasy glances. "For…" She stuttered.

Zim sighed melodramatically and faced their companion again, tone mournful. "We were discharged for not knowing enough Vortian history."

Tenn blinked and a faked a grin. "Yup."

Ixane looked confused-as much as one can when almost completely concealed. "Discharged for…? Hm…you must have been recruited straight out of the Academy."

"Sure."

"Let's go with that."

"And you didn't have the experience or training many fleet members did." She nodded. "What are your names?"

"She's Tess. I'm Tim. These are our…assistants."

"I don't know anything about the Resisty," Gir said.

Zim heard the smile return to Ixane's voice. "Well, you're in luck. I happen to be one of the initial members…I remember the first battle like it was yesterday. It's been quite a while since Irkens have been allowed here. I'd hate to see what happens if or when they ever decide to come here again."

Lio hissed lowly to Tenn, "This isn't a good id—"

She shoved a hand over his face. "Soo! You were saying…about how the Resisty got started?"

"Yes," Zim said. "Maybe if we get some help we can rejoin the valiant crew on the _Colossal_ soon enough to see their ultimate demise!"

"The Irkens, we mean!" Tenn said.

Ixane regarded them. "The history of the Resisty's foundation is a long one. I hope you two have time to spare."

They exchanged looks again, and Zim said, "Plenty of time. No pending assignments or anything. You know, now that we're fired and all."

Tenn nodded. "Tell away!"

Ixane rested a robed arm on the counter, raised a hand to the bartender, and looked at them. "Well…I suppose I'll start with Lard Nar's graduation from the Vortian Academy... before the Irkens' despicable Impending Doom, our alliance with them was finally brought to an end. A very- abrupt end..."

* * *

"It was crazy, dad! The Armada totally railed on the Resisty and they could hardly even retaliate! It was like the First Skirmish, cut in half. Barely six hours or so, and they were gone. The Meekrob must have been confused, and amazed, and-"

Ruza cut in. "Yeah, it was like the Tallest knew every shot to call and when. The Armada didn't even hesitate. It was like," she punched her opposite hand. "_Bam_!"

"Hannah," my father frowned on the other end of the transmission that spanned millions of miles. "I still don't approve of you staying with those aliens. Who knows what could happen? You were already in danger with Dwicky, but now…why didn't you tell me where you were going?!"

I sighed. "...I'm sorry, dad."

"And there are others in danger with you." He gestured to Ruza, who sat on the couch beside me in my tiny room.

She waved. "My name's Ruza."

"That...I...hello. Hannah, you need to come home right now." He looked worried.

"Dad, I told you, there's an entire Armada blocking our way back to Earth. It…unfortunately…it would be more dangerous to try to get back right now."

"Even attacking this..._Meekrob_, they're in your way?"

"Yes..." I muttered.

"Zim's people are letting us stay for free—no rent!"

He gave Ruza a quizzical look. "Okay, as nice a person as I'm sure you are…" He regarded me angrily. "Don't you guys realize the stress you're putting me through? That thing you described on the enemy ship...this entire disappearing thing- for _this long-_with an explanation that turned out to be a complete hoax? It would be bad enough if you were going across the country—but now I find out—!"

"That explanation was pretty transparent, in my defense."

"…Enough. I want to talk to someone in charge."

My heart leapt. "You can't, dad, it would be…"

"We're still trying to get on their good side enough that they won't…" Ruza paused. "Do something disadvantageous."

"Nice word."

She smirked. "Hey, I didn't school for all my days, but I know a term or two."

"If you tried to reason with them…it would just…probably go badly."

He frowned deeply. "Then what do you propose we do?"

"Um…...how about you give us a couple weeks to get...grounded? Then, if things haven't changed—and I'm sure they'll change...then you can talk to the…people in charge."

Ruza started, "But the Resisty will still be in—"

"What do you say, dad?" I threw her a look.

After a long time, he sighed. "I guess there's nothing I can do from here until you two- four, whatever- secure your own positions. But if anyone threatens you, I want to hear about it immediately, you understand? You call me!"

"Yes." _No…that happens too often...he'll forbid us from staying immediately._

"Good." He exhaled again. "Well...I expect regular updates."

"Every week on the week." Ruza saluted, something we'd already picked up on.

"I'm serious about the threats, Hannah. I'm still not one bit happy about this. I want to know everything that's going on, or I always have the option of calling NASAPLACE."

That was so laughable I almost let myself mock him openly. Like our puny Earth authorities could even reach—touch—the matters of the universe. They didn't have cameras, for Earth's sake. "Okay. Sounds good."

"I'll talk to you soon?" It was less of a question.

"Yep. See you soon."

I pressed the _End Transmission _button on my remote and slumped back.

"That went well."

"Oh, Ruza. I never should have lied to him. I…don't regret coming out here…not _entirely,_ now…but-"

"Neither do I." Her voice was filled with a contagious thrill. "This is the coolest place I've ever been. I mean, what could be cooler than a huge, planet-sized ship filled with infinite food, technology, and front row seats to a universal battle? And it's totally secure. I mean, except for that one time it got infiltrated."

"_Yeah_, a ship with leaders that will off us as soon we don't know the correct temperature for cooking chocolate."

She grinned. "You need to lighten up. They seem like they're getting used to the idea of us. And we're getting used to them." She sat up. "Hey. You want to call Zim and see how it's going? With he and Tenn."

_That sounds interesting._ "Okay. Uh…" I still wasn't completely used to the interface. "Call Zim."

"_Calling Zim."_

Ruza cackled adorably. "That is so cool."

Then, after a few minutes, "_Transmission did not go through."_

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"It" sighed. "_Either the connection's bad, or the recipient can't answer at the moment."_

"Oh. Well, I'mma go exploring, then." She stood. "Did you hear there's like a diner on the roof?"

"The roof?" I said, skeptical.

"Yeah, there's like this mini-lounge…thing up there. I'm gonna go check it out. See you later."

"See you."

I sat back on the couch and stared at the black screen surrounded by the pink alien metal...in my room on the _Massive_.

_This is so crazy._

That must have been the millionth time I'd thought that in the last month.

There was a knock at my door. I thought Ruza was back.

But Red was standing there, smirking lightly. "'The temperature for cooking chocolate?'"

"…You were spying…on…me?" I could barely breathe. He hadn't come to my room yet.

A shrug. "Not really." He hovered in. "We just wrapped up everything."

"Oh, with…about the battle?"

Red nodded, sitting on the couch. "It was a little complicated with the Meekrob, but it worked out. For now, we're leaving them alone."

"That's…nice, I guess." _Nice? Stupid…_

I stood, watching him.

He looked at me. "How do you feel about staying here? Differently than your father?"

I blinked, surprised. He was just studying me, not looking angry. "…No…disrespect intended…But why do you care what I think?"

Red sighed, looking at the blank screen. "…I guess I've been forced to think about…what happened on the _Colossal_. As much as I hate to admit it…" Another sigh. "I needed the two of you on that ship."

_He's admitting this?! _I still couldn't really believed what'd happened. I watched him. "Well…we needed you too. To drive the ship. So we both…contributed."

"Thank you for helping me out of the cell," he said. "I thought humans were completely stupid, but you showed intelligence." He smirked. "Maybe not going around that corner so quickly…"

I chuckled. "_Well_. It was my first time in a situation like that."

"So, what do you think of…staying?"

I gave him a small smile. "I don't think it's as bad as I thought at first…" I frowned. "At first, when Dwicky and us were coming up here, I thought you and the Irkens were all our enemies." He watched me intently. "But now…I don't know. You've treated us more nicely than Nar did…and you just kinda saved Meekrob, so…I don't know. I'm willing to give it a shot."

Red looked pleased. "I'm glad you think so. At first, I didn't want you here either…" His tone turned confidential. "I think Purple still doesn't. But it's not…" He rolled his eyes. "_Completely_ impossibly annoying."

"And you're not completely annoyingly bossy."

"Not yet, at least," he smirked. "Are you ready to actually start working tomorrow?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I only learned the basics of the kitchen yesterday. That was Schnell's question, by the way. About chocolate."

He stood. "Well, ready or not, I expect you in the Armory before breakfast."

"The Armory?" I asked.

"Just show up," he rolled his eyes.

"Will do," I giggled. "…Hey, and uh…thanks for coming down here."

He faced me in the doorway. "That's 'thank you, _Tallest'_ to you."

I smirked and the words were out before I could think about them. "_My Tallest, _then, thank you."

"You know your life in still in jeopardy," he said casually over his shoulder.

I frowned and sighed. "Yeah...I know."


	14. Just the First Day on the Job

Lard Nar's fist hit the table, and drink glasses clinked across it.

His tone was full of ice. "Does anyone want to tell me how we lost to them twice? Twice?" The Bridge was silent. "We lost at the First Skirmish, and now this? Anyone know how we're going to recover?"

More silence. Sitting in his second-in-command chair, Smack imagined he saw a few uneasy looks that matched his sentiments.

Nar held a hand up. "Spleenk, don't even start." Spleenk closed his mouth.

"We could call them," Smack spoke up. "They don't know what we're doing. We could just…just explain our thoughts."

"Not _you_ again," one complained.

Another scoffed. "Always trying to do things the hard way."

"Let Lard Nar talk."

The commander stared at his subordinate. "No. I want to hear this." I slight narrowing of his eyes. "Continue."

"…They don't know our intentions—we never got the chance to explain them. If we settle some things, it might make our job easier."

"They don't negotiate!" someone erupted. Now the Bridge seemed tense.

"What are you on about?"

"Smack," Lard Nar said, "we will _never _surrender to their will."

"That's not what I'm saying…But you've seen what they've done to our planets." He picked up a stack of papers on the table with pictures of Meekrob. "This isn't the answer. It's only been the problem." Nar's eyes were narrowed. The rest of the room waited him out probably, he knew, for the chair he sat in. "Morel lives…I'm only suggesting we call."

"I _did _see Vort suffer." The commander's voice was steady, and his arms crossed. "I saw many peoples suffer. You of all should know how unthinkable it is for you to suggest what you're suggesting. We _will _make everything right. We're not taking steps backwards, Smack."

Nods, murmurs.

"Get your mentality straightened out. I care about my soldiers, and their states of mind. So should you."

His tone and their gazes disheartened him. Smack leaned back in his chair, brushed the sleeve of his uniform to rid it of specks, and studied the floor.

"I didn't hear your response." Eyes on him.

The words felt like flaming coal in his throat. "…Yes sir."

The talking resumed, leaving Smack to reflect on the building fury within himself. It surprised him. _Hypocrites. Meekrob burned just like Paetin…Vort…I won't support this. The next world to go will be innocent…like those girls…_ A sudden thought hit him, stopped him. Amidst the conversation, his thoughts flew. It took a long, long time to acknowledge, accept, and consider his idea, but he knew. Smack repressed a satisfied smile, and a small shudder. _They can never know_.

* * *

The day flew after the Battle of Meekrob. My cozy room and couch were actually a relief. Exhausted, I lied down. My eyes drifted to the food chute, the black TV screen, the drawers. The only clothing I'd brought were a couple of t-shirts I'd had on Dwicky's ship—one from Deelishus Weenie, my old favorite snack place…my only pieces of a cut off home. I mentally went over what was where on the ship for the hundredth time.

_I am not prepared for the hectic life on board._

Though, when I thought of what I'd been doing before, before Dwicky and the others, I concluded it hadn't been better. I was glad I was here, glad I had other humans, and glad Dwicky had prepared me. This was still going to take a lot of getting used to, but I was no longer blind. I was beginning to like it here. And Red wasn't really all that bad.

Eventually, I fell into something between wakefulness and sleep.

A light. _Light…_I opened my eyes, squinted. …_What…? _It was coming from my screen…a notification. "What the…?" Yes, that symbol meant an incoming transmission. _This room has its own number? _Was it a wrong number? Who'd be calling me?

Slowly, I slid my hand under the remote at the foot of my couch, hefted it, and found the _Receive _button.

_Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea. _Who could it be from? Was it Dib next door, testing out his TV?...Ruza? _This is a bad idea. _I pressed the button and stared.

A silhouette appeared. A jolt of shock—fear—shot through me. The figure was hidden by some means from me, but I made out a pointed head, two triangular, crimson eyes. A sense of familiarity nagged at the back of my mind. "Who—who are—you?"

A familiar voice spoke. "It's you! I didn't know which room I was going to call—it was randomized. It's you."

"…Smack?" I leaned forward, mental reverberations of _worst idea ever _fading out. "Smack?"

"Yeah!" He grinned. "It's…Ha—Hannah?"

I nodded. "What are you doing in—?" I lowered my voice, suddenly aware of the danger he was in. "What are you doing?"

The silhouette sighed. "…I need your help."

* * *

"Remind me why you aren't starting your shift in the tech room?" Ruza dumped an armful of ingredients and implements onto a counter. Schnell stood on the other side, and Dib stood beside her.

"You're the one who said you didn't want to make breakfast alone," he said.

"Oh yeah. Okay, Schnell, we're ready."

The kitchen director frowned warily at Dib. "Are you going to cook, too? I don't have permission for you to—"

"Trust me, Dib is just here to watch, and maybe experiment a little."

He pointed at them. "I told you two, no experimentation until you master the basics. You won't be ready to prepare food of your own for another—"

_Thunk. Thunk. Thunk._

Ruza frowned. "Dib."

He looked up from the egg he was tapping against the counter. "Yeah?"

"Pay attention."

"I can tell this is going to be fun," Schnell said.

* * *

"Armory…" Traversing passages at random was not fun. Irkens darted around me, knowing their way, while I lumbered among them with no idea of mine. _This. Is. Floor. Twenty-five. Where's the stinking armory?_

I crossed a doorway Irkens exited with weapons. I wavered outside, walked in, and saw another entrance to a small room. Within, Irkens tried on battle suits and observed walls laden with equipment similar to what I'd seen in the room on Lard Nar's ship. It was difficult to remember, outside the Massive's walls, other than yesterday, there was constant battling.

I felt stares as I approached the armory. Had Rarl's hint been true yesterday? Did they all know what'd happened, or were they just staring because of my race? Trying to ignore them, and failing, I entered. I had decided to tell Red about Smack as soon as he got here, but I didn't see him, so I tried to remain inconspicuous as I looked around.

A stand before me held shiny guns on thick, black hooks—I could see my reflection in the smooth, colored metal. They were long in comparison to the smaller ones on the walls. The colors ranged from jet black to electric blue to forest green to lavender. I imagined a well-trained elite picking up one and shooting an enemy without a second thought. I could never do that. But on the ship, I _had._ Visions of falling Vortians had plagued me every night here. I'd killed people…or seriously maimed them. Why, how, when I was against this Empire's conquest mentality? _Self-defense. I was defending us. I could never do that maliciously. _

"My Tallest," several Irkens greeted. I turned to see Red entering the armory. _…At least now I won't look like I don't know where I am or what I'm doing. _

_Smack—he needs to know._

The Irkens watched him come over to me, but once again, I half-successfully shut them out. "Hello, Stilts."

I nodded. "Hello, sir."

"Impressive, aren't they?" Red gestured to the rack of weapons.

"Yes…very." The Armory continued its unrelated murmuring and business as we talked. Not knowing just how to bring up the topic, I waited.

"I have something for you." I looked at him in surprise. "Since you're going to be my servant, we need a way to communicate." He smirked slightly. "Dwicky also told me you like lasers."

"He…He did?"

"At first, I thought he was trying to secure your position."

I shook my head. "No…it's true. Although on Earth, no one has access to those kind of weapons unless they're in the military…or like NASAPLACE, our space station…kind of."

…_Stupid! Remember Smack!_

"Oh really? How advanced is it?"

"It…can't see the moon." My tone was flat. "The funding was cut, so it doesn't really do anything."

The words were in my throat, but I couldn't speak them.

Red laughed, earning us more stares I was learning to care less for. "I expected that much."

_Smack, Smack, Smack, Smack, Smack._

"Anyway, I thought you might like—and I'm not saying this is a present or anything because it's only for your _job_—something…like…" He studied the wall and found an object, retrieved it, and held it out to me to examine. "This."

It was a metal cylinder—thin, hollow, light pink like most everything else. "…What is that?"

"A communicator. But it has other features as well. Since you don't have a PAK, obviously..."

I smiled. "Obviously." _Stop looking at us, everyone._

"I figured you needed one of these," He lowered his voice, but it still held a fun, confidential lilt. "and I thought you might like one with a laser."

"What? This has a laser?" I stared at it.

"I'll show you." He turned the device so it was facing how it would fit on my wrist. "Um…"

"Oh, here." I held out my arm. The warmth I felt returning to my face was like the warmth I'd felt entering the room. _Stupid…I'm stupid._

He slid the communicator onto my wrist, and surprisingly, it fit. The Tallest floated around so I could see what he was doing and touched a button on the top. "Okay. This is the laser, but you won't always need that, so there's an _Off _setting."

_That could be bad, having no Off. "Here's your cupcakes…" Blam. _I chuckled.

"What?"

"Nothing…just picturing the consequences of not having one…an off switch, I mean."

He smirked. "That's why we put one in. It does other things as well. The communicator is here, just press that. It'll do…something…if I call you."

"Something." There was _something_…_important_…

"Also, it turns invisible."

My abstract thought was gone. "What?!"

"Yeah." He turned my arm over, and for some reason, I realized this was only the second time we'd touched. Red flicked a switch on the other side of the communicator, and it shimmered, like a mirage. The metal faded until all I saw was the fabric of my sleeve.

I exhaled. "Whoa…that's… _really_ cool…thank you."

"Strictly for your job," he waved. "Now."

Like a freight train, I remembered. "Oh! Uh…" He gave me questioning look. "There's something I have to tell you." Stares from a healthy majority of the armory. "…But…it would be better…somewhere…quieter." Oh, Earth, this was the most humiliating day…

Red looked confused, but nodded slowly. "Okay…" I felt every set of eyes on my back as we exited the room. When we reached the elevators, Red pressed the button for Floor 50.

"What's up there?"

"You'll see."

_Ugh. _I crossed my arms. "That was informative, thanks." I tried not to grin.

"You wanted a quiet place. Be quiet until we get there."

"Yes sir…"

* * *

In space, two random creatures floated, lazily watching the ship locally known as the _Massive_. Suddenly, an explosion bloomed on one side, near the middle! Both beings' eyes widened in horror; they screamed, trying in vain to swim away as the fire reached out, enveloped them…And in a brief, tragic instant, they were no more.

* * *

"Diiiiib!_"_ Ruza screamed at the top of her lungs. She was coated in smoke, dust, and dough.

A sweaty, dizzy, bigheaded child stumbled out of the smoking mouth of an oven, held up a charred fragment of batter, stated, "I… made… my first cake," and promptly fainted. He and the ingredients hit the floor.

Ruza groaned as several cooks rushed to extinguish the flames devouring everything nearby. "Why I thought to bring you along, I'll _never_ know!"

Dib peeled himself off the floor and painfully stood. "Hey, I didn't do that badly."

"Will you please tell me why, after eating universal take-out with you for half a year, did I think you actually knew how to cook anything?"

"You don't know how to cook anything, yet, either—you bought or stole your food, and my family's was made by a personalized machine."

Schnell yelled into a communicator. "We have an out-of-control fire raging! Clear the cafeteria! Send backup—!" The oven flames plucked him from the ground, threw him into the air, swallowed him, and spat his charred form into a dumpster.

"Oh my." Dib and Ruza's eyes were wide. A nearby appliance spluttered, short-circuited, and burst into flames to join the others.

"Dib, that explosion probably carried for miles."

He waved. "Nuh-uh. At least I was putting some effort into it."

"Just because I invited you on this food expedition doesn't mean you had to completely ruin my breakfast."

Another explosion sent meat and various sides flying. The oven was still devouring chefs who came too close. "I didn't ruin—"

"Dib, you dumped my raw batter in the residential chutes, and people were complaining about getting sick. You took my supplies and said you knew how to do everything and wouldn't let me do any of it—"

"You made those people sick, didn't you?"

"And then, when I said to be careful and read the sizes, you put six hundred pounds of batter in and turned the heat to four billion degrees!"

"How was I supposed to know it could go that high?" He frowned. "Most stoves have _limits_."

"This is the _Massive_! There are no limits!"

Irkens ran around frantically. The fire had now spread to the pastry case—extinguishers hardly touched it. Numerous heated looks were thrown their way.

Dib sighed and pushed his hair off his forehead. "I hope Hannah's having more success on her first day."

* * *

"Okay." Ruza spread her arms as they disembarked on another floor. "Since we've been banished from the kitchen for the rest of the day, we're going to the only other place that has snacks for Purple: the snack pods! They're on this floor, I think."

"You think?" Dib crossed his arms. "Didn't you take notes?"

"… I didn't see _you_ with a notebook, either. What floor are we on?"

"Thirty five."

"Ugh, get back in the elevator. I'll pick the next floor."

"No way! You got us lost for an hour on 17, trying to find the cleaning supplies."

"I didn't pick that floor—that's where the elevator took us."

They stepped back inside and Dib reached for the panel of buttons. "I'm picking the next floor. The side pods were in the forties—"

"Nuh-huh!" Dib shrieked as she shoved him aside. "It was lower than the kitchen. I remember."

"Your last memory got us lost." Dib shoved her back.

"_Hey_!"

"I'm picking the floor!"

Ruza shoved him again. "I'm picking the floor!" Dib pressed the button labeled for Floor 24 and she stared. "…You didn't."

He smirked. "Beat that."

Ruza shrieked and dragged her fingers down row after row of buttons. Dib joined her a second later. A small service drone in the corner just cowered, holding his data pad against his chest, and tried to keep out of sight. Word of the kitchen fire had spread quickly.

"I've got the last one!"

"No, I've got it!"

"Get your hands off the panel or I'll…!"

Dib pressed it glared at her. In answer, she tackled him to the floor and they fought, tooth and nail, as the elevator jerked up and down.

Ruza's voice undulated with the motion. "I hate you!"

Dib continued making helpless, confused noises as a smooth voice spoke the floor numbers. The elevator moved too quickly to take in any more passengers.

"_Floor 46. Floor 38. Floor 42. Floor 12. Floor 83."_

"There is no floor 83!"

"_Whoa!"_ The elevator slammed to a stop and the three collided with the ceiling before falling back to the floor.

"_Floor 49."_

The doors swooshed open. The terrified Irken ran one way, and Dib and Ruza staggered the other. The kids pushed their hair out of their faces and leaned against opposite sides of the hallway, hyperventilating.

"This is your…entire fault."

"Is not," Ruza said.

"Is so. If it weren't for you, I'd have found the pods by now. You're just wasting time. _And_ I haven't reported for my own job!"

"I think I know…where to go now. Come on." She started walking down the hallway.

Dib rolled his eyes. "Where have I heard that before?"

She turned to face him before two enormous doors that looked completely different from any others on the _Massive_. "See? Giant double doors. Told you we could find them."

"…They aren't even on this level," Dib stared confusedly.

"Well, come on, let's go in."

"I'm not sure—"

"Do you want to get me fired or not?"

Dib sighed, his countenance dropping. "Fine." Together, they pushed the unconventional doors inward. "See?" He stepped in. "I told you, there's nothing…"

"Whoa…" the sound escaped both their mouths unchecked. Before them loomed an enormous being mounted on the wall…or the ceiling. The size of a billboard—huge, round…on its surface, little screens played different scenes, faces, feeds…as if the memories of the Control Brain were hundreds of movies.

"No one told us there was one on the ship," Ruza whispered.

Dib gazed up, wide-eyed, grimacing. "…You told me to open the door."

"I lied."

"No kidding."

"What do we do?" Ruza breathed.

He spoke out of the corner of his mouth. "Back away. Very. Slowly." They stepped cautiously in the direction of the double doors. When they were five feet away from freedom, the Brain spoke. _Stop! _It ordered in a baritone voice. The kids yelped and froze.

"We're stopping!" Dib's voice trembled a bit.

_Human life forms…just as he said. _

Ruza frowned. "Someone told it about us—?"

_Silence!_

"Okay, okay! Shutting up!" she waved.

_You are intruders on the _Massive_…yet, I have been convinced to spare your lives. Why do you come into my presence?_

There was a long, tense pause. Dib's small voice filled the room. "Uhm… we didn't mean to… that is…you see, Control Brain—"

_The _short_ version!_ Then, almost as if to itself, _It talks almost as much as defect Zim. _

Dib frowned. "Um, excuse me." The Brain was quiet. "Sorry for intruding. We were just on our way to the snack pods, and we got lost. But we're leaving now."

"Right now," Ruza added.

To prove his point, Dib inched toward the doors. "We're grateful to you for sparing our lives—"

"Extremely!"

"And now…we'll be going!" The tweens dove through the doors and skidded into the hallway as they slammed shut.

Dib leaned against the wall and sighed. "That was crazy..."

"I wasn't scared." Ruza looked back at the doors.

"Yes you were, I saw the look on your face."

"Nope."

"Ruza, come on!"

From within, the Brain's booming voice barely registered in Dib's mind. _Notes on humans…they have big heads, and smell like dead things. On these heads grows a vile growth called hair. They are truly disgusting creatures._

_Can't we get a break?!_ He grimaced.

Two sets of footsteps sounded, coming closer. "Irk, that was an awesome break, y'know what I'm saying?" One voice spoke.

"Yeah," the other answered. "Good thing it was only ten minutes, or something could have happened to…"

The four of them locked eyes, and the Irkens looked shocked. "Hey! No one's allowed down here except on business!"

"Sorry, w-we got lost," Dib faltered.

"Get out!"

"Out!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Ruza and Dib ran around the guards and bolted for the elevator. "…Just as well," she said over her shoulder. "The Tallest is probably getting pretty impatient by now."

Dib rolled his eyes. _I guess the answer to my question is no…_

* * *

"Here we are." Red threw open a trapdoor. I climbed up what was probably the only ladder on the ship and emerged into open space. Shocked, I sucked in air, and realized I could breathe…I could breathe just fine. "There's a shield surrounding this space," he explained. I stepped out onto the roof of the ship and into what I can best describe as a restaurant slash lounge. The top of the _Massive_, it turned out, actually had benches and tables, and even a snack bar. A rail ran the circumference of the top. _So Ruza was right._

"It's really pretty."

We stepped up to the railing and Red turned to me. "So, what is it?"

_Oh, yeah!…_I sighed. "…Uh, it's just… last night…I got this transmission…"

He frowned. "_You_ got a transmission?"

"Yes…But it was from someone…outside the ship. And…this is hard to say… if I tell you, it could get them in trouble."

"Why's that?" His tone was more suspicious. "Who is it?"

"It's…kind of an enemy…of yours."

He looked shocked. His stare became more intense. "Who?...That doesn't necessarily narrow it down. _You_ were my enemy three weeks ago."

I stared up at him. "…What are you saying?"

"I guess…that you aren't."

"I'm _not_?"

"Not entirely, anymore..." He shook his head as if to clear it. "I'm getting used to the idea of having your group here, okay? But tell me who called you. Was it a rebel?"

_Agghh. _"…I know I should, but telling you might hurt them." _I'm being childish._

Lights flashed from bulbs on the rails and snack bar. Sirens rang through the atmosphere like twenty fire alarms, so loudly I could barely make out any other sound. Red immediately glanced at the communicator on his arm. I couldn't understand the words on it, but I knew the word he muttered was a curse.

"What's wrong?" I realized before I'd finished speaking.

"The rebels—they've infiltrated our network somehow—hacked the system!" Red had to raise his voice over the sirens. He opened the trapdoor and motioned my inside. "Come on, we've got to get to Control!"

"Okay!" I stumbled down the ladder, knowing too well what was happening. _How could I be so _stupid_?_ _All this time and now they discovered the transmission. Why didn't I prepare them? Now, they'll find Smack and he won't have a chance to explain and…he might be able to, being third-in-command, he must be pretty experienced…but it was my job to explain. And after all he did for us…_

Irkens darted through the halls, talked into communicators, appeared generally panicked, as Red and I moved towards the elevators.

_I'm going to have to tell them,_ I cringed internally. _I'm going to have to tell all of them now, everyone in Control; and Smack is going to be exposed… Will he be safe? Like we were, because of him? Oh, no. Oh no._

I prayed Red would remember our escape and spare the Paetin. As we neared the Control Room, I also hoped Smack had been able to erase his identity from the transmission. Maybe he'd be safe. Unbetrayed.

But as soon as we entered the room, I saw his silhouette on the big screen and my heart slammed downwards. It wasn't the traced transmission—I would have recognized his stature, movements. This was live. He was volunteering his identity.

I was terrified for my ally.

* * *

Dib and Ruza rounded the last corner leading back to the cafeteria, both lugging huge beverages and many, many snack bags.

"Finally!" Dib exhaled. "_Hours_ of wandering—"

"Oh, be quiet, you whiner," she smirked. "A little hard labor never hurt anyone."

"I beg to differ."

"Whatever. We got the snacks—that's the important thing. Now, let's get in before Purple has time to get even hungrier."

They were just about to enter the cafeteria when a loud, deep, blaring filled the hallway.

They jumped. Ruza dropped a package and frowned. "…What is that about?"

Dib looked around at the deserted hallway. "Don't know."

The door suddenly opened, and Purple hovered out, ignoring Dib and Ruza as he headed for the elevators.

"Hey!" Ruza said. "We finally got the stuff you wanted!"

"Later!" Purple waved. Then, after pausing, he returned to grab a package of chips before rushing away. "The sirens! I'm needed in Control!"

The two of them gaped at one another in disbelief, alone once again.

"…We just spent…"

"And the elevator…"

"And the Control Brain…"

"Three hours."

"And he didn't…even…"

Dib wailed, banging his head against the wall. Ruza fainted, dropping half a dozen sodas that spilled all over the floor. Dib ravenously tore several packages open and began gorging himself on snacks. Then, he stalked towards the elevators, determined to find out what was going on. He dragged Ruza with him into the elevator, knowing she'd want to know too and not wanting to be the only one around when she woke up.

* * *

Red glared at the silhouette. "You're lying. How you have the nerve to contact us is beyond me, but it was a mistake."

"No, I'm telling the truth." Smack pointed a finger at me. "She can tell you. I don't apologize for hacking in—it was the only way to send a signal discreetly. In fact, I might still be in trouble with my superiors—didn't she tell you anything?"

For the bajillionth time, everyone's gaze came my way. "…I was about to…" My eyes found the floor.

"Oh, come on, you had like half a day."

"She's not responsible for your actions," Red said. "Why did you call us?"

"…Meekrob."

The Control Room listened closely.

"What you did on Meekrob…I guess, at Meekrob…I didn't think it was right, what Nar was out for. It reminded me too much of what you've done to so many others, and he didn't even have a legitimate reason. We discussed meeting and talking with the citadel, but I never agreed to what happened after that conference. I guess what I'm saying is, I don't want him to do that again. And as long as your Empire isn't currently in the business of wrecking worlds like that…you're the only ones to stop him."

_It's a good thing he's somewhat prepared, or I might be in more serious trouble…than I probably already am._

"Even if that were true, why would you be motivated to call us?" Red asked. "I recall you having a very distinct opinion of the Empire. You're second over there."

Purple added, "Yeah, you've been a part of the resistance your entire life. Why should we listen to this?"

"Believe me," the corners of Smack's mouth dropped. "My opinion of you is exactly the same. I'm only appealing for the innocents' sake." He surprised me by gesturing to me. "So other worlds who have nothing to do with us don't have to suffer."

Purple snorted. "And you're putting your life in jeopardy to ask us to stop him? We're doing a pretty good job of that already, don't you think?"

"I'm petitioning for a chance to assist you."

"How?" Red asked.

Smack uttered a long, heavy sigh. "…I've decided I no longer want anything to do with Nar, his tactics. My position grants me access to our current plans—just about all of them. I'm sure you would find these helpful to your cause."

"You're offering us your files?" Purple's tone was full of surprise. They seemed to be considering his offer…

Red's tone was somewhat more guarded. "And why would you share them with us?"

"Like I said, for the innocents—like the humans you have on board. See, Nar has big plans for worlds you've already conquered—plans for alliances, for building forces… But afterwards, he also has plans…for the free worlds. His ambition is great. He's even targeting outlying worlds. I'm offering my services, and a warning. Not to you, but for them." Smack gestured again to me and again, towards the door, where I turned to see Dib and Ruza. "…Where's the lanky one?"

"He's not here." Dib frowned. "He's helping patch up the people you shot down yesterday."

Smack looked mildly surprised. "Your welcome for saving your allies."

"They weren't all my allies," Dib muttered in response.

"Yeah, well, your head's still big," Purple retorted.

Smack interceded. "Whether you all hate the humans or whether they hate being here or whatever the heck your problem is, the _point_ is Lard Nar is looking to take more worlds. He'll eventually take Earth if he's not stopped in the next year. Whether it's a home potentially being destroyed or a potential conquest, can we all agree it _shouldn't happen_?"

Shock. I found breathing harder. Dib's jaw hung open, his face was pale…he looked sick. Ruza was unconscious, but Dib had carried her in like that. The rest of the Control Room was still silently fixated on Smack. The Tallest conversed in low voices.

_Breathe…_my brain felt like it was melting. _How is Earth in danger? We've never done anything to anyone…just existed! How can the rebels reach the Milky Way? A_ year? _This is unthinkable, how can these empires do this? Why is Smack telling us? Where is his right to tell us? Why can't we handle this ourselves? Why do the Irkens have to listen to this…? _But then, I remembered how Smack saved us. I still trusted him…I hadn't hung up on him last night.

"…that he shouldn't take any more worlds?" the Paetin amended.

The Tallest weren't universally renown for the moral quality of their decisions, but I hoped they would see Smack's sincerity.

After what seemed like hours, they finally regarded him again. That edge returned to Red's voice—the one he reserved for enemies, for inferiors, for people across a prison hallway from him. "You have a week to prove yourself. Either follow through on your claims to information, or we can easily hail Lard Nar and rat you out."

Purple continued. "We'll be watching you, Paetin. One slip, and your short, little life will come to an end."

The technicians didn't give Smack time to speak again before they cut the transmission, leaving a silent and heavy atmosphere in the Control Room.

While I was grateful for being off the hook for the moment, worry filled me. What would become of my friend on the enemy ship? What else could I have done to mentally prepare Red and the others for his transmission? If I'd gotten my act together and explained sooner, would Smack have had more time, more lenient conditions? His jeopardy had only increased because of me.

Irkens conversed amongst themselves. The Tallest were still talking. Dib met my eyes—his were still like saucers. "You have a communicator?" he asked. I ran my left hand over the smooth, metal on my right forearm, and nodded. "Call Dwicky," he said. "We're having a meeting, _now_."


	15. Reinstatement

Dwicky rounded the corner as the three of us stepped off the elevator onto the medical floor. "I heard about the transmission." His brows were furrowed and he wasn't smiling. "...I head it was from the guy who saved you two."

Ruza rubbed a hand against her forehead. "It was...but I was out for the conversation. What happened?"

"He said Earth was in danger," Dib looked even more worried than the counselor. "And it's Lard Nar-Lard Nar!"

"...What are you thinking, Dib?" Dwicky studied him intently.

"We need to do something, but we can't from here. We can't count on _them _for help!"

"They've already taken us in, Dib," I offered. "And they don't want Nar to conquer any more planets."_ It could potentially work..._

"Slow down." Ruza groaned. "Nar is targeting Earth? Why?"

"Indirectly." Dwicky nodded. "Ambition. He's focused now on those with viable ally forces...isn't he?"

Dib seemed to realize something as he looked at Dwicky. "…You knew this would happen?"

The counselor gave a long sigh. "I hoped it wouldn't...but yes. It's a _universal_ war."

"I hoped it would be far enough out of the way…"

"We're talking about two insatiable empires."

"They know we escaped from the _Colossal_." Ruza nodded. "We're involved now, too."

"No, Ruza, we're not involved! We're only stuck here. We haven't taken a side, and I don't intend to."

"Dib," Dwicky said, "open your eyes."

"They _are_ open. You're the ones not seeing things as they are!"

"Dib's right about one thing," Ruza said. "We're not safe here. I don't feel secure here. How can we ask them for help when we can't even trust them completely?"

I spoke. "…I thought we were starting to…"

"Trust them?" Dib's tone was biting.

"We aren't dead yet," I retorted. "You have to admit that's taboo for them."

"Yes, Hannah: that's my point. We can't trust them to protect our home. We can barely guarantee our own lives."

"…What we did had to mean something."

"Yeah, but you heard Purple that first day. They don't do this kind of thing. Dwicky, you'd already warned us about it."

The counselor crossed his arms. "I did. But things are different now. Circumstances have changed." I saw Dib grow angrier by the second. "We can't do anything without them; and we're marooned here while the Resisty holds their position."

"And just how do we get the Irkens to help?" Ruza asked.

"Wait it out. See what happens for the next few months."

Dib exploded again. "No! I'm sick of sitting around doing nothing! Earth is in danger-we're the only ones who can do anything, and you want to sit around and serve them?"

"…Yeah," I heard myself agree with him. "We should at least talk, see if something's possible."

"W-what? You agree with me?" He stared.

I spoke carefully. "I agree we should do something…cause the Irkens aren't a fallback. But like Dwicky said, we can't do anything by ourselves, so we're stuck unless we try."

Dib nodded. "Okay...but I'm not going to be the one to do it. Maybe you should."

Dwicky gazed at him. "Why Hannah?"

"Because you seem to be the most comfortable with your boss out of all of us...I still think you should have left him on that ship," Dib muttered.

"Dib..." I felt my face heat, anger rise in me. "We're the only ones who can do something? Well, we wouldn't be around to do anything unless I'd freed him!"

Dib's eyes widened slightly, and I realized how forceful my tone had just been. He waited a moment before responding. "…Anyway...you're the closest to them. You should try talking about it."

"I could try…"

"Dib," Dwicky said. "why don't you and Ruza go see if Tallest Purple needs anything."

"What?"

A firmer tone. "Just do it."

Dib frowned, but after a moment, complied. "Okay. Let me know how it goes."

"I will."

They headed back into the elevator and away.

Dwicky faced me, his brows still furrowed. "I don't like the idea of you being the one to go to them."

"Me neither, really." A thought hit me. "You're the one who's gone to conferences with them again and again."

The counselor's lips curled into a half-hearted smile. "...But they still don't let me do anything as a medic without supervision."

I showed him my wrist. "Tallest Red gave me a communicator…" _And said he didn't think we were his enemies. _That had to be unprecedented.

"You have the common sense to get along with your superiors. That's wise-it betters your chance of being heard out by them. I know you'll do well." He smirked. "If you need anything, I'm here."

He was being so kind…Guilt flowed through me. "Dwicky…I'm sorry."

He studied me, and sighed. "...So am I." His tone held actual remorse. It was thrillingly refreshing after months of enmity.

For the first time in months, without really planning it, I walked to him, into his arms, and enjoyed the feeling of a hug, of human warmth, because the others in our group were freaking emotionally repressed and the Massive's passengers had a questionable possession of any emotion at all besides flaming narcissism.

"I was wrong...to do what I did...with you and Meredith…"

Dwicky spoke from over my shoulder. "I know. Even though our relationship never got anywhere, it still hurt."

"I'm sorry."

"I forgive you. And I apologize for doing so until now." I pulled back to look at him. "You'd think the school psychologist wouldn't hold grudges as long as mine."

I smirked. "We don't really have a choice now."

"No…You're being exceptionally brave. I couldn't have thought, in that moment, to break Red out...I honestly would've thought he could get himself out...I would've left.

I stared up at him and felt more vulnerable, more dependent on him, than I probably ever had. "Are we going to be okay? Dwicky?"

"Yes." His gaze, his voice, were firm. "Yes, we are. So's Earth. Nar hasn't even won a battle."

"…I guess we are on a side, aren't we?" My voice was quieter.

He studied the wall and exhaled. "Yeah. At least, _I'm_ not on the side of anyone who threatens my girls and locks them in a cage to rot."

"Aw, Dwicky," I beamed, genuinely warmed.

His tone lightened. "I'm surprised by how hospitable, open-minded, they're being."

My wrist beeped. I looked down.…N_o, my communicator._

I pressed _Receive _and Red appeared on a tiny screen. "_Hey,_" he said. "_Come to the meeting room off the elevator by the lounge. We're having a meeting about a conference."_

_A conference? _I could tell my expression was confused. "Okay."

"_And bring him, too. All of you._"

The screen went black.

"Well. This should be interesting."

"A conference about what?" I asked. Surely not just what Smack had just told us—that would be far too huge a program for one possible lead.

"About Smack," he confirmed. "And probably their near future war strategies, too. Just go round up the other two. Convince them to be agreeable at the meeting if you can. Especially Dib. I'll meet you there, I've just got a few things to wrap up here."

I nodded, turning to the elevator. "Meet you there."

"…Hey, Hannah." He met my eyes again "We _are_ going to be okay."

I nodded, smiled. "Okay." I boarded the elevator, half-believing him, and dreading the moment I'd have to talk to Red about defending the Earth.

* * *

"It was, simply put, unbearable." Ixane's voice filled the bar amid the din of drinks being poured, dishes clinking, and the restaurant's patrons conversing. Zim and Tenn leaned against the bar toward her. "At first, they only wanted supremacy over the labs and science buildings financially. Then, they started ordering our people around more. In six months, they'd became so domineering as to instigate uprisings in the labs. Research stations, tens of them, refused to comply. They'd taken over experiments, claimed we couldn't handle ourselves after that screw-up somebody made in Nine." Her eyes dropped. "...They didn't think we were fit to experiment without constant supervision."

Zim's expression was slightly uneasy.

Tenn asked, "But you did create that energy blob, didn't you?"

She sat up straighter. "It was idea from a new trainee- it could have been either an Irken _or_ a Vortian, witnesses aren't sure. Probably only the victims knew for sure- the ones closest by. I don't think we'll ever know."

Zim rubbed the back of his neck and glanced around the bar. "Heh heh…yep, that sure is mind-boggling."

"What's wrong with you?" Tenn whispered.

"Uhhh bartender!"

The Vortian behind the counter approached, scratching his head and staring at a scrap of paper. "Sir? You've ten sodas on your tab, already. What was your name again?"

"I am _Tim_! Enough of your interrogations." He threw an arm towards Tenn. "My associate wants another fruit punch, and I'll take a Poop Cola."

"…We don't have Poop Cola." He frowned deeply. "You've already asked for it five times. That's exclusively an Irken—"

Zim's raucous laughter filled the air. "You fell for it, you imbecile! Again! HA! I would never ask for such a revolting selection. Bring me whatever the heck he's having." He pointed to the poor sap on his other side, who'd been subjected to this mayhem for longer than anyone should have to have been.

"Oh, yeah? And how are you going to pay for all of your drinks?"

Zim growled until the bartender, looking spooked, went to go fill the order. Tenn leaned over to him and spoke lowly. "Look, Zim. If we're going to get any valuable information from Ixane, you've got to be patient. Our mission depends on it!"

"We should be recovering the planets, not listening to rebellions stories!"

"This could be valuable information for the Armada, Zim. We could help undermine them."

"Yeah…But these costumes are so restricting!" He pulled at his fuzzy coat collar.

"Well, yeah. They came from a costume store." She watched him with growing impatience until she slid out from her barstool and strode towards the door. "I'm going to the restroom, I'll be right back."

* * *

"It seems suspicious to me, my Tallest."

"No, my Tallest, I think he was being truthful."

"We can't be sure. We have to explore every angle of the story-"

"-and find the answer that way."

"Maybe he's testing our intelligence, sir."

"Maybe it's a trap."

"Maybe you're paranoid!"

"It could be dangerous!"

"I don't see why we shouldn't-"

"You've already had your say. There's a million possible problems!"

"Listen to him. You're a pessimist, aren't you?"

"I am not! I bet you ten thousand monies this is a bad idea."

"Fine! We'll see. Go ahead, my Tallest."

"If you say so…"

Purple hesitantly bit out of a cherry-frosted donut with sprinkles. After about five seconds of slow chewing and bated silence, he spoke. "Nope. This one's good!"

The room sighed with relief.

_Well, that was stupid. Why would he eat them not being sure? _From our table in the corner, I watched the Irkens react to this news with a healthy level of disdain.

"What? But I was sure Schnell poisoned your food after we demoted him for that kitchen fire!"

"I guess not. You owe me ten thousand monies!"

"I do not."

"You wanna piece of me?"

"Guys!" Rarl yelled. "Can we return to the important matter at hand?" The Irkens stared at him. "…The _transmission_?"

"Oh yeah."

"Smack's message."

"Very important."

I sighed, and Rarl also exhaled.

"Thank you."

Red eyed Purple as he returned to his seat. I heard him ask, "Why would you even eat donuts you weren't sure were poisoned?"

He held up his hands. "Do I need a reason to eat donuts?"

Red shrugged and stood. "Not really. Okay, everyone. Now that we received the transmission from Smack, we've pulled up his file. Rarl."

The advisor handed them a data pad. I felt a momentary rush of embarrassment that was unfounded- _was I supposed to be bringing him stuff like that? Not yet, _I reasoned. _He hasn't required that of me. _"Not much in his records," the advisor said. "Smack's file says he was raised by rebels after our invasion of Paetin. He graduated…that's about it. Oh, his father was murdered."

_What? __That's so sad...Smack._

"I vote we turn him into Lard Nar!" Someone shouted.

I glared across the room. What had Smack done wrong?...Other than be their adversary for his entire adult life. _Oh yeah..._This was gonna be tricky.

Purple said, "The problem is we'd be giving up a potentially valuable source of information. It could mean losing lots of battles." He took the device from Red and studied it.

Several elites' faces showed realization. This was a bigger problem than most had anticipated.

Red spoke. "Since we can't inform everyone about this without calling them individually, we're going to have a convention. We're also going to talk about future plans. In one week, on Conventia, we'll gather and discuss whatever Smack sends."

"Assuming he's sent us anything," Purple muttered. "Hey. Here- it says he's second-in-command. I thought Snork was their second-in-command."

The other Tallest glanced toward our table and sighed. "He was."

Several of the elites followed his gaze, and I wanted to shrink underneath the table and be invisible. They were staring at us...at _me. _

Purple blinked. "...You offed him, though...right?"

Everyone conversely looked at Red. He paused, and sighed again. "...No."

Aand back to me.

"Who, you?" Purple scoffed at me. "Yeah right."

"She did."

Several gasps rose from the room of elites, and if I'd been the object of everyone's gazes before, I was their fixation now. I watched Dwicky next to me, out of the corner of my eye, fumbling for security as the entire assembly watched me.

"...You...you did?" Purple asked.

_Deep breath. Speak clearly. Oh, Earth...!_ "Yes." I stood. "Well...it was complicated...The Tallest had him in a room already, and when we met up I aided him in taking Snork down..." I nodded and reclaimed my seat.

"I've never..." Purple faltered. "I...that..." He shrugged, obviously still confused. "Okay."

"Wouldn't it be dangerous to hold such an exclusive meeting?" An elite asked.

As the conversation returned to the room at large, Dwicky nudged my arm. "Good," he whispered.

I couldn't help smiling slightly. Adrenaline was pumping through my head.

An invader was speaking. "...they got the word, they could decide to show up, and...bad things would happen."

"We have that taken care of," Purple said. "There'll be guards posted on every door. The transporters to the surface will be secured for our use only."

Red nodded. "The rebels won't bother us. We also have technology to prevent them bugging the meeting. We'll need staff backstage- oh." He turned to our table again, looking to...Dib. "This would be your opportunity to show us everything you know. So I suggest you do your best." I saw Dib wide-eyedly face the Tallest. He received several glares from people in the room for some reason. Probably because he was human.

Before the rest of the room had any more time to scrutinize him, another hand shot in the air. "Ooh! Ooh, ooh!"

Red glanced at the table in offense and rolled his eyes. "Invader Skoodge."

"Can I run the backstage tech stuff, too? _Please_? Please, please? I haven't had anything to do since Hobo 13 since you sent me to the medical bay to watch instead of fighting battles, and it—"

"Fine, fine!" He snapped. "Whatever! Just shut up and show Dib how to work everything!"

"Hey," I heard Dib mutter.

The short Irken leapt on the table and threw a fist in the air. "Yes!" He sat again.

"Everyone is required to attend," Red told the room. "If you skip, we'll…uhhh…what's a good punishment?"

Purple frowned. "I'd say being force-fed poison donuts by a robot arm; but I don't want a bunch of those in circulation around here, ya know?"

"True...what about the airlock?"

Several scared looks from the elites, who glanced at each other knowingly.

"Not big enough for more than one at once. Plus they get all screamy...lethal injection?"

Red looked more freaked out than I'd seen him since the Colossal, which surprised me. "You know I hate needles."

Purple gestured to him. "But _you_ wouldn't be taking the shot!"

"…Eh, anyway," he recovered his nonchalant expression. "Attendance is mandatory. Bring a friend, bring some snacks; maybe we'll have an after party."

The elites began to disperse, get up, socialize. I stared at the table, trying to absorb all the information, until I found a green face at our table.

"Hi," Skoodge was observing Dib. "Invader Skoodge. We'll be working together."

"Yeah," Dib studied him right back. "...I know."

The Tallest were talking and occasionally looking our direction. I ignored them, slightly miffed about the fact that I'd been singled out in front of everybody, and listened in to Skoodge and Dib.

"Just wanted to introduce myself. You'll no doubt have a lot to learn, seeing as your species _is_ hideously inferior to the mighty Irken race. But it's nice to be working with you."

Dib frowned as I stifled a giggle. That was the most ridiculously nice thing I'd heard so far. Of course, other than Red's comments, which no one else knew about. "Okay…strangely, that might be the most neutral comment I've gotten since we've been here," Dib said.

"So, anything you'd like to know about the setup?"

Dwicky gave him a look that basically said, _Ask questions and be civil or you'll be in the medical ward because of me._

Dib raised an eyebrow at Skoodge. "...Yeah. I guess, how does the-"

"Skoodge, go somewhere else." The Tallest were at our table. _When did they come over here?_..._Still not used to that._

"Sure thing, my Tallest. C'mon, Dib, I'll show you the setup for the conversion briefing room right now!"

"Agh-Ruza." Dib clawed at the table as Skoodge dragged him off. "Help me."

She smirked and waved, her tone sweet. "Bye, Dib."

"What is it?" Dwicky asked the Tallest.

Purple looked at me. "It's your oldest little trainee there." He sighed in annoyance. "...Since she aided him on the ship...and so did you," he nodded at Ruza, who'd begun to raise her hand, "we want to...This is ridiculous."

Red rolled his eyes. "It's unconventional, but...we want to thank them."

"Thank you," Purple muttered and attempted to hover away.

Red grabbed his armor. "I've already thanked her like that."

"But I-"

"We want to thank them in front of everyone."

I'm pretty sure my heart stopped. I sensed Dwicky's surprise without even looking at him. Ruza's jaw dropped.

_What?! In front of every...no. _

_No!_

"Yes," Purple grimaced. "It's completely unconventional- too unconventional, in my opinion. But...we'd do it for an elite and..." He glared at me. "You'd better be well-spoken and have good posture, you sorta...tall...ish...person."

"Whoa, whoa...In front of ev..." I inhaled. "What does that mean? We'd be in front of everyone?"

Red's gave me a weird look. "No. No. Are you kidding? On our stage? As if. We'll just acknowledge you."

"In front of everyone." Dwicky repeated. "You think that's safe?...For us?"

"You're already boarding here," Purple said. "After that kitchen fire, I think the small ones are in as much danger as possible."

Dwicky looked over me at Ruza. "_Kitchen fire?_"

She gave him a sheepish smile and chuckled innocently before turning to Purple. "So...we get to be acknowledged? In front of the convention?"

"Not you," he repeated, obviously not liking this. "Just your help. That's all. Maybe you'll get one nacho, if you're lucky."

"What do you think?" Red asked me.

_What do I think? I'm going to die!...Acknowledged in front of the freaking...Empire?_

"...This is crazy." I kept my eyes on Red. "...But...nice..."

Purple huffed dramatically and hovered away. "Just be ready on _time_! Not that it matters..."

Red smirked confidentially at me. "He just didn't get his life saved." Before I could react, they were both out of the room.

_'His life saved'?!_

What was this complete one-eighty I was listening to? Back in the cell...he'd said...

"Woo!" Ruza cheered. "Convention party. Guess you made the right call after all." She put a hand on my shoulder. "Well, I'm off to find Dib. Irk knows he's probably half-way to the other side of the ship."

Dwicky and I looked at each other. The room was empty. "...What are you thinking?" I asked quietly.

"...This is insane."

"I know!"

"I don't know what to think. They aren't usually like this...at all. What Red just said-"

"I know."

"Our lives are becoming more and more secure because of what you did."

I stared back, taking in his serious expression, wondering what the Irkens considered acceptable convention behavior.

Within me flared a spark of excitement.

_I'm going to an Irken convention. I'm going to be part of it._

* * *

Tenn dried her hands. She heard a noise from the other side of the door and her antennae rose.

"Hello? Oh, yeah, hey, man." A male's voice. "What's up?" Not having anything to do but listen, she leaned closer to the door. "Yeah, it's sending out a shock wave. People everywhere are either rioting or cheering their brains out. But what else is new?" A long pause. Then, excitement. "You?! No _way_!...No _way _man. That's awesome. Just think how _sick_ that'll be! You, in the EBT. That is sick."

Tenn stopped breathing, one hand on the resroom door.

"Dude, I'll sponsor you. But you should get a group, or at least a partner- that's what a lot of others used to do...All right. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

She stared, frozen, at her reflection in the mirror, mind swimming. _Did I just hear right? The EBT? _She was crashing out the door before she knew what she was doing. The cell phone guy stared at her. "…Hello."

"Did you…say…the EBT?"

His face lit up. "Yeah! Isn't it great? You know, the Reinstatement recently? It was all over the news."

Tenn's eyes widened. She had to look around the small area for a moment until the words registered in her brain. "...The…Reinstatement?"

"You haven't heard?"

"But it was discontinued decades ago for loss of life!"

"Well, duh," he nodded. "But Jagger needs more annual funds, so," he held an arm towards her. "The Reinstatement. My buddy's gonna be a contestant!"

Her eyes were wide. "…I can't believe it." Then, she dared to ask, "What about the war going on?"

He practically jumped in excitement. "It just makes things more interesting. Isn't this great?"

"I guess. But…Jagger convinced...no one else agreed to this!"

The Vortian was walking back toward the restaurant, facing her. He gave her a look. "They didn't get approval. The tournament's always been under their sovereignty—you're probably just to young to remember Transportation rules."

Indignation flared inside her. "I am not—"

"It's gonna be difficult to recruit in six months, but they can do it."

Tenn froze, and then exploded. "_Six months?!" _

"Yeah! It's awesome! See ya." He rounded the corner and disappeared.

Tenn gaped after him, heart pounding. She had to get back to Zim. _The most feared competition of all….what if we can't escape? What if we can't complete our mission? What will happen with the Armada? __Reinstatement…who knows_ _what repercussions this will have on the war?_

This was extremely bad. And then, a thought hit Tenn that sent her running to the bar. _What if we're discovered and...Transported? _

"Z—Tim!"

He turned as she hopped into her seat. "I have something important…I was…in there—guy—cell phone…it was the EBT—he told me—Reinstatement…soon!"

Zim raised a non-existent brow. "Whoa, slow down." She sucked in air. "Again, in words that make sense."

She exhaled, "Okay…I overheard a phone conversation between this guy and his friend. He was super excited about something—said whatever it was was causing riots and excitement. He said his friend was…" Tenn took a breath. "He said he was entering as a contestant for… the EBT!"

It was a second before Zim's eyes widened. "…The…The _EBT_?"

"Yes," Ixane's voice came from behind him. "Haven't you seen the global news reports?…Oh, but I suppose you did just get back."

Zim wore a look of confusion. His gaze fluctuated between Tenn and Ixane. "But… that tournament was dispelled back when you and I were sme—children! Children!"

"I know," she nodded."But they're reinstating it—in six months, Zim!"

He looked panicked, looked over to the other side of the bar, where Gir was chugging some drink and Lio was nonchalantly playing cards with another Vortian.

"It's not that big of a deal- unless you're in a compromising position, the Transportation shouldn't affect you," Ixane said.

"Tess…and I are…going to get some air." He literally yanked her out of her seat and in a beeline for the door. "Gir! Lio! Stay put!" He jabbed a finger at them.

"No problem," the latter grumbled, as his opponent placed a pair of cards on the table. He sighed. "That's what I get for not asking if you had any sixes..."

Outside, Zim looked around, spotted a nearby alley, and pulled Tenn into it. She yanked her arm away. "We need to call—"

He nodded. "The Tallest, yes. Fortunately, they always have time for me!"

They removed their disguises' headgear and Zim tapped some buttons on his communicator. When the transmission went through, the Tallest looked surprised to see him.

"_Zim?_"

Purple didn't sound happy. "_Any particular reason you feel the need to call _right now_? We're in the middle of an important discussion here...and you're, you know...not."_

"Oh, my Tallest. You never cease to pour abundant praise on your subordinates."

"_Idiot," _Red muttered.

Tenn frowned. "Hey, we escaped from a Vort jail to tell you something important!"

"_Vortian jail?"_ That got Red's attention. "_You two are supposed to be…retrieving…planets, or something. You're on Vort?"_

"We got detoured," Zim said. "We've been hiding in a bar, gleaning information off a former member of the Resisty."

"She's retired now."

The Tallest didn't say anything at first. Then, after a while, Purple spoke. "_That's…actually...not a complete waste of your circumstances."_

"_You'd just better not compromise your positions_," Red warned. Then, in a quieter tone, "_Irk knows we have enough of that going on as it is_."

"So Tenn overheard this guy..." Zim began

_(Two Minutes Later…)_

"..._That's...impossible,"_ Purple choked out.

"It's true! Ixane even said it was all over the Vortian news. That guy was super excited," Tenn said.

"_At a time like this,_" Red seethed, "_they decide to reinstate the tournament?_"

"_What is Jagger thinking?!_"

"According to Ixane," Zim said, "They don't care. They're just looking for dirty funds for their foolish government or whatever."

"_This needs to be stopped—we're calling Jagger," _Red declared.

"Wait!"

"No!"

He stared at them in confusion.

"Um, forgive me my Tallest," Tenn began, "but-"

"-decrying the tournament will only make Jagger resent us."

"They might ally with the Vortians, since they're so enthusiastic."

Purple scratched his head. _"…That's true…If we leave them alone, they'll remain neutral._" He shook his head and stared at them. _"…Wait. You just provided a valid point?_"

Zim grinned. "…Well, yes. I guess I did."

Red shook his head as if to clear it. "_We'll figure this out in the next week. For now, carry on with your mission and try to get all the information you think is valuable to us._"

"_And don't forget about the planets!"_ Purple said. The two of them looked suspiciously like they were stifling chuckles.

"Yes, my Tallest." They both saluted and the transmission cut.

"…We're in big trouble. What if they find us? Zim, what if they—?"

"They aren't going to find us, Tenn. We're two of the best invaders in the Empire—a bar full of stupid, drunk Vortians hyped up on potential competition won't outdo us!" Tenn watched him become more animated and imagined she heard a stringy, pathetic marching song in the background.

But it was probably nothing.

"We're going to milk that sorry ex-Resisty for all she knows about Lard Nar and the Vortians; and then we're going to fly into space, recover the planets, and return in an explosion of brilliance to save the world!"

"Yeah!" She cried, unable to hold back contagious enthusiasm.

"The Tallest will congratulate us."

"Yes!"

"We'll be war heroes, honored forever in the archives of the Irken records—as you know I already am."

"Yeah!...Wait, no you're n—"

"And they'll sing our praises for generations…" His tone deepened, imitating an announcer's. "'_Zim!... and Tenn: the most uncatchable masters of disguise to walk the face of any planet._'"

"Woo-hoo!"

"'_Unstoppable. Unable to be fazed. Untied to any sustenance whatsoever. Able to go for weeks easily without—'_"

"HEY!"

A voice from the alley's entrance. Zim and Tenn scrambled to pull on their wigs and hats. A random guy stood there, his hands balled into fists. "The bartender's been calling for a 'Tess' for a good ten minutes now! Your fruit punch is ready."

"…Oh." The two exchanged glances. "Um, yes." She cleared her throat. "I am actually kind of thirsty."

"What…?" Zim watched her follow the patron back inside, and face-palmed.

The door opened and she called to him. "Come on, Zim—fruit punch."

His eyes narrowed. "I'll be right there…and _then_…" He thrust a fist toward the sky, with no one in the vicinity to hear him. "_Explosions of brilliance!_"

"Zim! Punch! Now!"

"Irk, Tenn!" He stomped back to the door. "Get a ticket to the exciting side!"


	16. Drive

Four in the morning arrived too quickly. Smack took a moment of pause to sit and watch the others bustling about the room. In two weeks, they planned to take Boodie Nen. He had access to the plans but no way to communicate them to the Irkens while the rebels were so busy. That human girl had been immature to let his message remain secret for so long. He knew nothing of the other humans, and little of the individual personalities of the Irkens; but he hoped they'd trust at least his information… if they chose not to, they could wish their homes goodbye, because they'd be gone in months.

His commander's voice grated on his last nerve. "Do we have the lines secure? Whose job was it to ensure we can hack their systems?" Smack knew he was referring to Boodie Nen and not the Irkens; but Nar's malicious tone only gave the second-in-command a heightened sense of conviction about his own hackings.

"Hey, Smack. You actually gonna do something to help out?" A steady spattering of laughter from the crew followed Schloontapooxis' question.

Smack turned, pulling an icy glare he'd learned to use after years of leadership. "Schloon, I don't see you doing anything right now, either. If you don't appreciate the food I've brought you all, maybe I'll cut rations." Despite the fact that the Paetin would never ration enemy bounty among the long-deprived crew, their faces showed an inherent respect that caught Smack slightly off guard. It even…warmed him, a little, to know they thought well of him. At least, cared what he said. A pang of doubt hit his chest as he returned to watching the window. The usual chatter resumed on the Bridge.

Lard Nar passed him a few moments later and spoke, draining Smack of any fond sentiments that might have begun to build. "That's what I like to see."

* * *

The surface of Conventia from the Docking Ring was a beautiful pink I'd never seen on any planet before. Windows lined one wall of the hallway that stretched around the entire planet. On the opposite wall, ships were docking constantly. I gazed at the peaceful world, listening to Dib and Ruza yammering nearby about random facts they'd learned from Ruza's tablets and the internet.

Her hands were pressed against the glass. "I hear they've got more cheap trinkets than even the asteroid belt flea market!"

"Who needs useless stuff?" Dib gestured to the hall ceiling, through which a regular announcement about the gift shops was being pumped. "I just want to see the Main Convention Hall. I wonder how many Irkens showed up…"

Dwicky's voice came from somewhere to my left. "A lot more than _you_ can count!" Some of the medical team led him towards one of the teleporters. "All right, all right, I'm going." He cast me an exasperated, apologetic look. "I'll meet up with you eventually." He frowned at the medics. "What are we even doing? This is a convention!"

One of the females in a lab coat grinned. "Oh we're not setting up stations. We're helping dish out the thousands of nacho plates. You're gonna make the cheese."

Dwicky's eyes widened and he kicked and yelled as they shoved him into a teleporter. "I want to live!"

_Zaaap. _

Dib's eyes were wide as he returned to looking out the window. "That was disturbing." I watched Dwicky's laser-like beam descend with ten others at once—then twenty, fifty—to the surface of Conventia.

Ruza jumped up and down. "I wanna ride one!"

"You're in luck." Purple's voice made me turn to see he, Red, and Skoodge nearby. "That's where you're going."

Dib's expression dropped. "…Oh. Hi, Skoodge."

"Hello, Dib! Ready for backstage tech training?"

A sigh. "I guess."

"We can stop by the gift shop first if you want, we have plenty of time."

His voice was taught. "Yippee."

"That's enough out of you," I said. "Go. Learn about tech stuff. Have a good attitude."

He glared at me as the two of them walked towards the teleporter. "Easy for _you_ to say."

I stared after him…_I guess that's true. I'm looking forward to meeting people, being recognized. What does Dib have to look forward to? _Then, I felt defensive. _At least he's not shoveling nacho cheese. Even Dwicky has a better attitude._

"Forget him." Red hovered beside me. He put his hands on his hips. "Ever been to Conventia? Didn't think so. Did you_ know_ they have more cheap, useless stuff than—"

"The farmer's market belt," I smirked. "Yep."

Red's eyes narrowed. "Grax. I was going to say Grax."

"Sure…" Irkens filled the halls, crossing from ships to the planet. I was going to be on the surface in a few minutes…among them. And I knew the Tallest wouldn't come because they made their own special entrance at the hall. "…Um…my Tallest?" It was the first time I'd addressed him by that phrase and it felt strange. "Has anyone told them we're supposed to be here?"

He was looking out the window. "…They've seen you enough to know you're allowed."

"…All of them? Even the ones from Irk?"

He looked at me. "Relax. They've got to find out why I'm still here to lead this convention eventually."

"But…they hate our species. If they know we're with Zim…"

Red waved, "Zim's on Vort."

"…_Where_?!"

He sighed, gazing out the window. "We got a call from he and Tenn—they just ran into some trouble. He's really not worth the explanation. Now will you get in the teleporter? I have stuff to do, too."

"…Right." I faced the teleporter a little ways down the hall from us. The Irkens didn't know me even as well as the Tallest and Zim did…they'd think of me as dirt, maybe attack us. _Dwicky's already down there…they can't have destroyed him…No. No, they wouldn't. _

_But this is Irk we're talking about! Bane of the universe! I'm going into the lion's den._

_Stop being irrational! Just trust him…you know, the guy who was ready to kill me about a month ago. That one._

The teleporter was small and egg shaped, like a tiny elevator car. When I approached the doors they shot open. I observed the spiderlike apparatus on the tiny, round ceiling I knew would send some form of—radiation?—through, around me. _It's really small in there. I'm going to be flying through the air…unprotected._ For a moment, I couldn't make my feet step in.

"You're tall enough they won't question you." Red's voice was casual as he continued watching Conventia. "Most of them, anyway. Just don't do anything stupid." The last thing I saw outside the teleporter was him nod at me. "That shouldn't be hard for you, right?"

My boots made metallic clanks on the hollow metal floor. The doors slammed together—I jumped. "Wait…" I knew there was no stopping the clawed machine that instantly rotated, found my position and…

Light.

_Oh my gosh, it's so bright! _

Enveloping my body. I felt motion of some kind but couldn't make sense of it. I was moving…the light was brighter…brighter… I was conscious but I couldn't feel anything physically, didn't understand when I felt my mind passing through some kind of barrier, like being sifted through another machine, and then a tremendous weight on my legs—I had legs—my belly, my shoulders, my head…

The beam abated and I stared up at the second machine above my head in wonder. "…What just happened?"

Irkens moved around me, and I realized I had to get out of the way for the next person to use the teleporter to land. As I began to move half-with, half-across the crowd, I felt grateful that after all these days aboard the _Massive_, I felt a familiarity with all the stares coming my way. A week ago, maybe not; but I began to think this might be easier, like Red had said.

* * *

Dib closely eyed a small, rinky-dink bobble-head. Behind it lay several shelves of others, right next to the commemorative drink cups. Small Irken flags were piled in a hanging bucket over him. He pulled the toy's head back and it gave a few nods back and forth before suddenly breaking off and falling to the floor. Skoodge walked around the corner.

"This is all cheap, useless stuff," Dib frowned at him.

"I got limited edition sausages!" Skoodge held up a long chain of meat wrapped around his shoulders. "They're hickory smoked."

"Hey!" A tall creature stormed over to the two. It was the first non-Irken Dib had seen on this planet yet. He wore a uniform plastered with the gift shop logo and one of the hats for sale. "I know you. You're that Irken invader person." Then he got in Dib's face and snatched the bobble-head out of his hand. "You gonna pay for this, worm-baby?"

"Uhh…"

"I've got it." Dib turned to see Ruza fish a couple monies out of her pocket and present them to the storeowner. "There ya go."

"Hm…" He studied her face for a moment, and the monies in her hand, before snatching them up as well. Grumbling, he stomped back to the counter. "Stinkin' outlying planets and their life forms."

"Thanks, Ruse."

"No problem. Look what I got!" She plopped a hat on her head with the Irken insignia on the front. "Tell me how they even wear hats with their antennae on their head."

Skoodge said, "The same way you wear hats with hair."

Her eyes lit up. "Really? Oh—I also found this. She held up a cup and pressed a button on the side that sent shots of colored lights across the surface. "It's a Conventia cup. Cool, right?"

"I guess. Can we do our job now?" Dib pouted. "I'd like to get off this place as soon as possible. There aren't even any other life forms…I mean, except for that guy."

The storeowner was standing over a group of Irkens admiring a flying model ship. "Pay for something or _leave_!" They scattered under his eye and the toy ship dropped to the ground where it broke into several pieces. The uniformed male gave an enraged shout.

Skoodge's mouth dropped open in fear. "Yeah, let's split."

"But, my stuff!" They both grabbed Ruza's arm and dragged her towards the exit. "No! I dropped my cup!"

"Leave this!" Dib ripped the hat off her head and tossed it back inside as they crashed out the door.

"I need it!"

* * *

I was just passing the gift shop as Ruza, Dib, and Skoodge burst out of the doors and rushed through the crowd.

Ruza was crying dramatically. "My hat!"

"To the tech room!" Skoodge yelled as if on a charge towards enemy lines.

Everyone was watching them, which was a welcome diversion and embarrassing at the same time. Two Irkens in the crowd started the conversation. "…That Skoodge."

"I know, he's crazy."

"How'd he even become an invader?"

Three others shrugged.

"…I still want my hat! I need to fit in! Let go of me!" Ruza was still screaming from somewhere ahead of us. I was walking at a normal pace among them.

"Who _is_ that?" One pointed at the trio.

"Apparently, they're the Tallest's new servants."

"What?!"

"That's impossible."

"I think they're going to explain what's going on…"

"It'd better be good."

"I heard they were called humans."

"Can you still see them?"

"No, that weirdo Skoodge took them."

One's tone was apprehensive. "They can't be helping in tech…"

"They probably have the brain capacity of flies."

"There's another one!"

Not knowing what to say as the group stared at me, I offered a casual question. "We're going to the Main Convention Hall, right?"

For a moment, they continued staring, taking me in.

"Yes," two answered in unison.

"Cool…can I come with you?"

A general exchange of glances ensued; they looked at me again, shrugged, nodded, mumbled affirmatives. I gave them what I hoped they'd see as a friendly smile. "Thanks."

"…Forget what I said about flies," the one hissed to his companions.

"Somebody talk to it."

"Uh…you."

"No, no—you."

"Darn you. Um…" One raised their voice. "What are you called?"

I met their eyes. "My species? I'm human. My name is Hannah."

* * *

"Show time, my Fabulous, Glorious, Almighty, Never-Faltering Tallest!" Skoodge handed both of them a microphone before jogging on his impossibly tiny legs back behind the sound booth next to Dib. The invader grinned at his leaders. "You'll do great!"

"Are you suggesting we don't _always_ do great?" Purple's tone adopted a threatening edge. "Cause I think we always do _amazingly_ great. Don't you?"

Dib studied the buttons as Skoodge faltered, "Uh, yes, of course! I was just saying...I didn't mean to, uh—I—"

"Skoodge."

"Yeah?"

Dib could hear Red's death glare in his voice. "Zip it."

"…Kay. I'll just…cue up the platform drop…" Skoodge pressed a button on the panel and Dib heard it buzz disapprovingly. "Oops. Wrong…button. Hold on, I remember this from the Academy." Another button, a louder sound. "Hm…that must be the outside lights." He looked at Dib and gestured to the switch with emphasis. "For _nighttime_."

"I _know_ what lights are for!" He snapped. "I'm not stupid! Let me see. This says 'Pressure Valve,' it's probably for the platform."

"Nah, that's not it. I distinctly remember the right side of the panel is where the controls for this mechanism are located."

Dib studied the right side and sent Skoodge an _Are you serious? _look. "Next to heating and spotlights?"

"Yes!"

Dib pushed against Skoodge toward the left side of the panel. "Just…let me…see!"

"No! Press that one!" Skoodge reached over Dib and hit a small button that gave a loud buzzing sound. Dib nearly fell off the sound booth platform in shock, and held his hands against his ears. "Ow!" Things sparked, bright white specks of energy that latched onto the now heated panels.

"Aah! Bad things are happening!" Dib tried to hit buttons, levers, and switches on the left side—for instance, the _Off_ button.

Red yelled, "No, Skoodge, it's the left panel! Stop!"

"Is it supposed to catch on fire?" Dib shrieked.

"I don't know!" Skoodge said. "You seem to have that effect on a majority of the things you touch!"

"This is not my fault!"

"The left panel, Skoodge!" Purple was waving wildly. "The left one! Gah!"

"My Tallest, I remember my training! I'll do you proud!"

"Stop touching things!" Red screamed.

Rarl popped his head around the corner. "Everyone ready?"

A chorus of, _"No!"_

"Hold on. Skoodge, pull that one!" Dib pointed across to the right side.

Skoodge looked at him doubtfully but cringed at another shower of sparks and replied, "Okay."

Instantly, the sparks died. Dib searched the left panel and pressed buttons like crazy as his eyes skimmed over their titles—he found the _Off_ switch, rebooted the system, and reached for the one he'd originally chosen, all in under ten seconds. The platform the Tallest stood on shifted downward about a foot and then began to slowly descend toward the floor of the upper chamber.

Purple crossed his arms and raised an invisible brow at Dib. "The _Pressure Valve_?"

Dib smirked sideways at Skoodge and pointed to the switch. "For _platforms_."

Skoodge frowned and waved him off. "Yeah, yeah."

"Not bad," Red remarked. They turned to face where the crowd would be as the platform disappeared.

Dib sighed. "That…was crazy. Why isn't Rarl running this thing?"

Rarl answered. "Because Skoodge volunteered for a job usually done by the unranked shorters—the drones."

"I think it's fun!"

Dib stared at him. "Yeah…fun."

"Wanna go get a smoothie? They have a whole setup in the back where the nachos are—I could get us in." Skoodge's eyes sparkled.

Dib hesitated a moment but his stomach growled…_Did I have breakfast? _He shrugged. "…Sure. Why not?"

"Sweet! Come on!" He very nearly pulled Dib's arm out of its socket.

"Gah!"

"Before all the drones nose their way in!"

"He _is_ a drone!" Came Rarl's voice. Dib made the effort to send a scathing look his way before Skoodge pulled him around a corner, yelping in shock and pain.

* * *

"So, what kind of snacks do they have on your planet?" A lavender-eyed female asked.

I was seated among many of them about a third of the way back in the Hall. "Oh, lots of stuff. Donuts…uh, muffins, all different kind of sandwiches…" I gestured to the trays many of us held in our laps. "Nachos. We have all kinds of candy, ice cream, brownies…" Their eyes showed more respect for at least my people, if not me, with every sentence. I'd thought sitting among them would be awkward; but so far they were being more amiable than the higher-ups...Maybe the common Irkens don't have as much of a bias towards others, or they just figure we're sanctioned.

"_Attention, everyone." _The announcer's voice came from overhead. "_Please give a warm, ridiculously praiseful welcome to your fantastic leaders, the Almighty Tallest!" Ohp, guess we're getting started. _Anxiety seized me as I realized what that meant. I actually was getting recognized—and suddenly, I didn't want to be. This is crazy. _I don't deserve this! They'll—the whole auditorium—will either hate or curiously ogle me for the rest of time. And dangit, I'm sick of all the staring!_

The Tallest descended on their platform, which I'd heard about from Dwicky, as the Irkens went wild. I clapped a few times so I wouldn't seem conspicuous. Red and Purple had even more of a presence onstage, on a raised level from all these short people."Welcome, Irken citizens!" Red's tone was always regal when he addressed crowds_. I wonder if he practiced that when he became Tallest._

"We're here to discuss the progress of what has been the surprise beginning of a war for universal domination."

Purple immediately jumped in. "And we all know we're gonna win!"

Loud applause, cheering.

"The rebels instigated the fighting nearly a month ago, when they directly attacked the _Massive_." Red frowned. "…again. We've secured Meekrob, more or less; but the Resisty has plans for many other worlds."

"It's a pretty big deal," Purple said. "Recently, we've received intelligence about their future plans. With this information, we'll be able to _crush all the other life forms_—!"

"Anticipate their movements," Red muttered.

"Oh yeah. We're gonna know what they're doing and when and where they're doing it!"

_They want to be the master race? Gimme a break._

"We're going to be able to determine where to concentrate our forces. We've also upped security—invaders are on the _Massive_, and Irk's guard has been heightened."

"Now…" I could see Purple grimace from a third of the way back. "Let's get this over with. Many of you remember the First Skirmish and the intense battle that happened in the Control Room."

_Oh crap!_ My heartbeat quickened and I couldn't find a place to look.

Purple continued. "Well, it turns out we had a little help from some outsiders that day that kinda…maybe…questionably…depending on your perspective…"

"Got me off the _Colossal_ in one piece," Red finished.

_Any way I could sink into these seats, out the floor and back to the ship now? Or hide in a gift shop…?_ Several of my new companions were already starting to look at me. _Great. Crap. _Where were Dib and Ruza? Dwicky was making nachos…

"So, we're going against a few traditions to thank them…" Purple scanned the crowd and then looked at me. "Where's the other one?"

_Ruza…_I looked around but couldn't spot her. I shrugged at him. _Maybe she's still shopping. Probably fitting in a lot better than I am right now. _

Purple made a non-committal sound. "I'm sure she's around. She can't be getting into that much trouble after what happened in the kit—"

Part of the Hall wall imploded and a huge wave of some yellow substance flooded in. It rushed over many seats, bewildered Irkens swimming for their lives. The tidal wave of nacho cheese flattened and settled. My row mates and I gaped at it and the opening until Schnell appeared, coated in cheese, and what I perceived to be Dwicky's sticky head emerged from the pool of goop. There were other Irkens—medics, kitchen drones…I saw Ruza pop out of the cheese in Schnell's immediate vicinity. He turned and screamed at her. "_I told you not to touch the crock pot settings!"_

Her small voice crossed the masses and reached my ears. "Sorry…"

If Purple's looks could have killed, that whole group would have been killed instantly. "I stand corrected," he seethed. "Do you mind not ruining the one time I acknowledge your existence by blowing stuff up?"

Someone was trying to tread queso and failing miserably. "Nacho…cheese…rocks!"

"Look," Red's tone was casual. "I just want to thank them, especially her—" he pointed at me, "for getting us out of there alive, okay? Thanks."

Looks were still on me. A general murmuring of the same word passed lightly over the assembly, along with one "woo!" I felt my heart slow down a bit, my muscles relax. _This isn't as bad as I'd thought it'd be. They aren't freaking out. Maybe if there were more of us, but…_

_Another big factor is everyone rushing to eat, but…I'll take whatever I get!_

Red finished addressing the crowd. "…Now eat."

Purple spoke again. "After this gets cleaned up, I want the invaders and Elite to meet us in the mini conference room backstage. Until then…" He seized a giant nacho tray out of seemingly nowhere. "Outta my way!"

The nacho madness began. I was able to recline in my seat, breathe out, and finally, somewhat, relax. Maybe we weren't going to die after all.

There were still a few stares, though, that made me uncomfortable.

* * *

_Finally!_ Purple sat at his computer and exhaled. That cheese mess had taken hours to oversee. Of course he didn't do any of the work—that was absurd. But the Convention Hall was a renting setup—and he had to make sure all the idiots that messed up the nacho station had adequately paid for their mistake. Especially that ann—"

"Hey, Purple!" He shrieked, reeling backwards, as she pulled back from being right in his face and collapsed in laughter. "Oh, you shoulda _seen_ the look on your face! Hahahaha!"

His eyes narrowed as he brought his pulse back in check. "No one can see their own face," he muttered under his breath.

"So what'cha doin'?" The redhead gazed at the screen until he moved in front of it.

He almost felt his eye twitch. He was almost certain some of his nerve endings exploded. "Do you know how much work you caused everyone?"

Her expression dropped. "Oh, yeah…sorry about that." Her eyes gazed at him hopefully, an expression he'd seen on many subordinates before. _Always wanting something, those whiners. _"But I brought back your tablets—I learned a lot from them."

He made a point of continuing to glare. "Great. Give 'em." He placed them back on the shelf and returned to typing.

"Is that an email? To who?"

She was leaning over his shoulder now?! He gritted his teeth to keep from yelling. She was obviously testing his authority, and she was a lot like Red in personality—Purple knew if he encouraged her, gave her a reaction, she'd never stop teasing him.

"_Whom_. I'm trying to write the Head of Callnowia for more weapons—we're upping security on Irk…it takes extreme quite and focus to compose a message like this."

She blinked back at him, those green eyes still almost as big as an Irken's. "Cool! I wanna help! Let's order a rocket launcher, or a blowtorch, or a—!"

"One…!" Purple's smile felt impossibly tight even to him. "You don't get to determine anything for the indeterminate future, because you spilled cheese all over the Convention Hall!"

"…It was the crock pot's fault," she said.

"I've already written the letter. You can't. help." He turned back to the computer with a hmph. "Looks like you're too late." He gazed at the wall above his screen. "Do humans even have the mental capacity to write letters?"

Ruza was extremely focused on the screen when he looked back at her. She leaned forward to see better, put her hand on his chair, pushed him aside. "Let me see that…"

"Whoa—_hey_! You _cannot_ just—!"

"Yada yada yada…hm, let's see, 'request an increase in,' blah, blah, blah… 'appreciate your prompt reply'- this isn't interesting!"

"What?" Purple exclaimed, hands on his hips.

"I mean, look at it!"

"That's what I've been doing for the past—"

She shook her head. "No, no. It needs to be fresh, creative! So he's like, "Yes, I'mma give the Irkens tons of guns! Not dry, professional, processed…"

He frowned. "Somebody's critical for someone who doesn't even possess writing capabilities."

"Oh yeah?"

"No—do not touch my compu—"

"Let me give this a spin!"

"Don't touch that!"

She erupted in another fit of laughter as they fought for the keys. Eventually, she shoved him away and he stood there, simmering, glaring at her as she typed for the longest two minutes he could remember enduring.

She _finally_ stood from his chair, and smirked. "Tell me any head of state wouldn't fall out of his chair reading that!"

"…Depends why he's falling out of his chair," Purple retook his seat with a bit of an air, looked at the screen…and almost screamed again.

_Yo, Mistah Callnowia Dude!_

_What's good, my man? We need some new shipments up in this hizzy fo shizzle! We'd be much obliged if you could hook a brotha up! We'll pay ya back soon - ya know how times be hard now with the war, but we tight! Irken alliance, repruhsent! Tell all yo homies we need about four hundred shipments of ammo at the lowest possible price, and holla back atcha boi!_

_Peace out, dog!_

Ruza was, once again, gasping for breath on the floor, presumably at whatever expression he was pulling at that moment. Personally, he couldn't care less what she thought. He thought he'd experienced baffled fury at the Convention Hall…

"What on Irk?" He protested. "What kind of language is that?"

"Gangster! Haha!"

"Your grammar…it's terrible!" He threw an arm towards the screen. "You can't expect me to send this!"

"Why not? It'll give him more of a laugh than what you wrote." She stood back up.

"We don't want him to laugh. We want to negotiate a serious business deal!...I mean…_we_ do. Not you!"

She shrugged. "Well, yeah. But it was worth a shot anyway." She pointed at the screen. "You'd better get busy retyping that though."

Horror shot through him, and then another stab of fury. "You…erased the _entire thing_?!"

She was already sauntering through the doorway. "My bad! Thanks for the tablets—bye!"

He was so close to strangling her, but the door closed and prevented him from murdering a human underling. Having lost the ability to articulate coherent words, Purple returned to his desk and slammed a fist on the metal, staring through an incensed haze at the text on the screen. She would pay. Oh, how she would pay for this.

* * *

I stared inside the ship, at the relatively spacious walls, the shining surfaces, the gleaming control panel, the high-end seats. "This is yours?" I heard the wonder in my own voice.

"Yep." Red closed the door behind us.

I wasn't sure whose idea the drive had been—with nothing to do while waiting for Smack, it was admittedly better than tending to Red's snack whims or learning from him about some element of the Empire. I'd wondered aloud why the Tallest had personal ships if they were escorted every single place. "Because what shouldn't we have?" He'd responded. I'd rolled my eyes, agreed to go with him against the nagging discomfort in my mind, and just a few minutes ago I'd informed Dwicky.

We sat in the front seat. The control panel was similar to that of a normal model, but everything was nicer in Red's model. "Ever flown in a Cruiser before?"

"No. Just the Pleukesian ship."…_And the _Colossal. _Ooh. Not gonna talk about that._

Red looked down at me for a moment before something—a glint—lit his eyes. "Wanna learn?"

"…What?" _Learn to drive a Cruiser? His Cruiser?_ "Uh…" _No, I'll mess it up!_

"I _am_ in charge of teaching you everything there is to know."

"That's okay, you really don't—" Something guided my hands to the steering stick and wrapped my fingers around it—his hands. "Hey!" Fear shot through me. Red reached over and pressed a button, and the Cruiser roared to life. I gasped. "What…?"

He was smirking. "Relax. I got you off the _Colossal_," I stared up at him in surprise, "now you're going to learn for yourself…since humans are so danger-prone."

"But…" My eyes scanned the array of switches and dials before me, some blinking, all of them capable of doing different things. "I...you really want me to drive _your_ Cruiser?"

He continued hitting switches and buttons. The small, deadly joystick in my hands held the most potential—my hands shook slightly around it. _Maybe that's just the engine…_I couldn't ignore the excitement undermining my fear. _A Voot Cruiser. A top of the line one, too…if he wants me to drive this, he must really be trying to include me… _

I looked up, searching for his eyes. "Are you sure you want to…?" The Tallest was reclined against the seat, one eye closed, the other studying me. That smirk still ghosted on his lips. "…Seriously?"

More staring.

"You know I've never driven anything except an Earth car before, right?" I waited and then glared back. "…Fine." I looked back at the steering stick, and my voice lost some of its force. "Fine…"

I looked out the front window, praying I wouldn't kill us both, and cringed, knowing what I was about to do. My hands shook. I inhaled, pushed the stick forward, and we shot out of the terminal like a bullet. I shrieked and fell back against the seat—my hands left the steering. Red was caught off-guard, too—he put a hand on the back of the seat to steady himself; but his surprised expression quickly gave way to a ridiculously huge smile and he burst out laughing.

"It's not funny!" I protested, but that just made him laugh even louder. I grinned and lightly shoved his shoulder. "Stop it!" He looked taken back for a moment, that I'd touched him, but that glint returned to his eyes and he shoved me back, both of us laughing.

"…I can't control this thing." I gestured to the steering stick.

"It's really not that difficult," he took the controls. "I learned when I was only a few years old. It'll be a piece of cake. Trust me." I watched him, watched the panel, and nodded. "…Now, the most important thing to remember," Red began his driving lesson, "is to _never_ press the big, smiley button." He pointed to an ominously large, pulsing button in the corner of the panel with a grinning face on it.

"What does it do?"

"It's the automatic self-destruct. _Never._ Press it."

I nodded quickly. "Don't press the smiley button—got it."

He took the joystick again and continued to the basics of steering, which encompassed a lot more than Earth vehicles because we were talking straight up, sideways, and, Red's personal favorite to torture me with, sending us plummeting into an impossibly steep, eighty-mile-an-hour nose dive that left my stomach somewhere above and sent us shooting through the stars.

I felt, heard, myself screaming. "Ahhhhh…! _Stop!_" For the third time, he leveled us out, eased up on the controls, and let the Cruiser slow to a halt. Then, he leaned back and threw his hands behind his head.

"Your turn."

"_What?_"

"Just remember what I told you." Red's tone was cool. I suddenly realized I was spazzing a lot, and took a deep breath. I ticked through his points on my fingers. "No smiley button." He stared at me. "…ever," I amended. Red smiled, nodded, closed his eyes. It almost irked me, his apparent confidence in my abilities not to screw this up.

Almost.

"Next…pull back to fly up, tilt down for down. That's pretty standard." Red hummed his agreement, his eyes still closed. "Third," I pulled my ring finger, "Um…don't…pull…" No…wrong. One of his ruby eyes watched me. _I remember…the brake!_ "Oh, yeah!" My hand found the lever underneath the panel and I wrapped my fingers around it. "There's an emergency brake down here, right? And this," I grabbed another next to it, "opens the glass roof."

"Good." Red apparently went back to napping, but I knew better. Heck, Dwicky had taught us better. Though, the fact that I'd pleased him made me unexpectedly happy.

_Next rule._

"Uh, next…" I looked around the cabin, at the snack counter near the back. _No rules about that._ "I think it was… um… this one, that controlled the boosters?" I pressed a small, lavender button somewhere in the center of the panel.

My world spun upside down. The stars outside the window spun, I found myself falling up out of my seat and shooting forwards into the window. I screamed. Red shouted in alarm from somewhere behind me. I tried to correct my mistake by pressing the button again, along with five others. Apparently this ship had something kin to windshield wipers…and…I found myself suspended in the cabin's air as the stars outside continued to rock and spin.

…_Antigravity shut off?! _

"Stop pressing things!" Red's voice came. I think a coffee maker collided with the window nearby. The Tallest was madly trying to get to the control panel. After half a minute, I felt a weight pull down on me—the gravity came back on—and we both fell back to the floor. Red landed neatly in the seat we'd been sitting in, but I'd been floating around the back and plopped to the floor behind the seat. The coffee maker crashed only a few feet from my head. I felt the floor level out again. The noise of the engines abated slightly.

There was about ten seconds of silence as the cruiser slowly came to a stop. Several items fell from their perches on the counter. I caught my breath, grimaced, and looked up at the back of the seat. Red sighed, turned to look behind him, and looked confused momentarily before finding me on the floor. "…You okay?"

I broke from his gaze, nodding, my face burning with shame. "Uh…Sorry."

An awkward silence filled the cabin, which I was about to break, desperate to get rid of the heaviness in the air, when I heard him...chuckling. I glanced up from my spot behind the seat. "…When Purple first learned how to drive…" he said after a moment, still laughing quietly, "He…crashed into a floating donut shop."

My shame and confusion evaporated. I exhaled, allowing myself a small grin. "Really?"

"Yeah," Red nodded. "I had to pay for the repairs, since he didn't have any monies with him that day." He gazed off into space with a fond expression. "Ah, the academy…"

"I _am_ really sorry about this," I said, getting to my feet.

Red focused back on me. "Oh, it's fine. I've had worse experiences with this Cruiser before. Besides, it's your first lesson." Reluctantly, amongst pangs of embarrassment, I rounded the seat and sat next to him again. "And you never got around to the fifth rule," he stated matter-of-factly.

My eyes shot to his face. "What?" _He still wants me to mess around with the controls? _

"Go ahead," he gestured to the main panel.

"…No." I shook my head, drawing backwards. "I don't want to mess it up again."

"You won't."

"…How do you know that? I just sent your cruiser somersaulting through space!" Tears pooled in my eyes. _I just tried to drive an alien spaceship, in front of Red, and failed miserably. Am I ever going to fit in here?_

"It's _all right_. Seriously, there's no harm done… except for the coffee maker." Red glanced over his shoulder at the floor. "And you're getting better. Come on." He guided my hands to the steering stick again. "Try again."

"…I…"

"Just push forward—"

"R—um…"

"Lightly."

My hands didn't shake around on the controls anymore. _He's being so patient…so different from his_ Colossal _self_…I inhaled again and gently pushed the stick. The top of it tilted forward and the Cruiser dipped, threatening to nose dive again. "Ahh—!"

Red spoke calmly. "It's okay, you're pushing downward. Try pushing it forward on the panel." I obeyed, guiding the entire mechanism through a groove in the metal towards the window. "Good," Red nodded beside me. A flurry of warm excitement spun inside me at his words. "And if you press that, you can lock it in place so you don't have to extend your arms there the whole time."

He hit a button and I slowly removed my hands from the controls. The steering stayed locked in place. We moved forward without having to mess with it at all. I grinned. "Cool."

"And that is the beauty of autopilot."

"Yes. You're a good teacher."

He leaned back in the seat. "Well, I don't know." His smug expression made it clear he took all the credit for getting us back on track. Rightfully so, but still.

"You're _awesome_," I sent him a fake glare.

He stared for a moment before a smirk broke across his face. "Oh, I almost forgot." He sat forward again. "I haven't taught you the fifth rule."

"Which is?"

That same mischievous look in his eyes as he seized the controls again. "…Learn by experimentation!" Suddenly, the Tallest was pressing random buttons much like I had. Before I could comprehend it, we shooting through the stars again at dizzying speeds, looping, diving, changing directions haphazardly and whipping around until I'd completely lost track of the _Massive_. Red's laughter was maniacal. I struggled to hang onto the seat, listening to him, taking it all in.

_What happened to the dictator? _"What happened to 'lightly'?" I yelled over the engines. Red glanced at me and erupted in another musical fit of laughter. I couldn't help loving his laugh—it was musical, contagious. He was having more fun than I'd ever seen him have before.

And I was having more than I'd had this entire voyage.

Eventually, we slowed enough to actually enjoy the passing view. After another half hour of "experimenting," I could somewhat shakily move us in a straight line without flipping the thing over. "And that's sideways…" The ship smoothly turned right. I exhaled in satisfaction.

For a while, there was silence as we watched the stars, until Red's voice filled it. "…It's been a while since I've done this."

The quiet hum of the engines was lulling. "Done what?" I asked.

He frowned and gestured out the window. "Gotten _out_."

"Of the _Massive_?"

"Yeah…It's been at least six months since things were this calm—even for a day. Before the rebellion, it was Impending Doom II, and all of the invaders needed stuff… Purple and I did lounge around every day, but… the thought of getting out for a break wasn't really ever an option. Someone always needs us…we have roles to fill."

"I know Irkens don't sleep," I spoke carefully, "but…you look tired." _And sound even more so. _

He sighed. "I hadn't been crazy about this idea…I was just tired of speaking, and the convention…everybody expects…but honestly…this is _fun_. I haven't flown this cruiser in almost two years."

"Really? You're good at it!" _'Everybody expects' what? Expects him to be something? Does that mean he doesn't think I do?_

He smirked. "Out here, it's second nature."

I saluted. "Tallest Red, ship captain extraordinaire."

Red rolled his eyes and returned them to the window. "I always felt like if I left, someone would need me…Purple…we depend on each other. We make a good _team_…and they almost all had to function without me. I almost abandoned them." His voice was quieter. "…I know we'll win the war, we've already earned it…but…it's just, after something like that…" He shook his head. "I…"

_He's acting so differently…he's never talked to me like this. _I asked gently, "What?"

He forced a response. "…Sometimes, I just wonder."

"You mean doubt?"

A wry half-smile crept onto his face. "That sounds so much weaker…but yes."

I exhaled, and impulsively put my hand on his shoulder again. Red looked down at me, one eye half-closed in confusion. "Rule number _six_." I removed my hand and used it to poke him. "Don't. Worry. About. Anything."

He laughed lightly, and seemed to sit up straighter. "They do say it brings a quicker death."

"Right! And who wants that? So let's just…relax. Purple's gonna do fine on his own with the paperwork," I waved. "Until Smack calls us back, there's nothing really to do. Lard Nar's not gonna attack anyplace right now…" _Not even Earth…_I pushed the thought away. "So let's not worry about it."

"…You're right." He reached out and gently pushed my shoulder in return before taking the steering. "It's just standard paperwork anyway. I shouldn't have to do that."

I chuckled. Though, inside, a slight sense of unease writhed at his arrogance. He interrupted it. "How often do you eat?...Your kind, I mean?"

"Three times a day, usually." His wide eyes brought coaxed another chuckle out of me. "Are we talkin'…are you inviting me to…?"

He redirected the ship a certain way. "Only because it's a universal crime for the Tallest to go hungry."

"Right."

"What?...It is."

* * *

"She's always doing stuff like that!" Purple hovered around the elite lounge. "I've had it! Are all humans this bad? I can't stand it!"

Dib frowned, his stylus pausing above the data pad in his hands. "Why are you talking to me about this?"

"I had to rewrite the entire letter, and then it was late, and—"

"Look. If you want to show her who's boss, then don't let her get away with it anymore. You'd think an 'all-powerful' leader of the Empire would have grasped that by now." Dib shook his head.

"That's…" Purple turned. "Not a bad idea. If I get her back, she'll realize she can't mess with me."

"That's not exactly what I mea—"

"Yeah! This calls for some kind of revenge!"

Dib groaned and moved a hand to his face, but Purple was already too absorbed in his train of thought to take much notice. He hovered towards the door, itching to get his hands on a tablet and start drawing diagrams…oh, what devious diagrams they would be. "Thanks, Dib. I mean…yeah, whatever. See ya!"

* * *

There are moons out there with delectable diners. Red and I went one he called Gorgeoua that had a casual malt-shop-esque place that served burgers and fries even better than Earth's. On the table between us presently were about five different dishes with their own sides, bottles of condiments, and about six empty foam cups (for the record, I was still only working on my second milkshake). It turned out they had bottomless fries.

"Wanna see something cool?"

Red answered through a mouthful of donuts. "If you're referring to your driving, I don't think it qualifies as 'cool'…yet."

I shook my head, dangled a fry above my head and flipped it into the air. I caught it in my mouth and smiled self-righteously.

He swallowed. "…Well. It still wasn't _that_ cool."

I glared at him and went back to eating whatever kind of soup we'd ordered. _Everybody back in skool thought that was cool…and the kids in Zim's and Dib's class would have, too, if I'd had a chance to show them. _This was nice—eating at a diner on a foreign moon, but with a friend. We'd just had anonymous takeout through the window of Dwicky's vessel. This space was pleasant, personal. Music wafted from the speakers. Light conversation. I felt relaxed. relaxing. The sign above the front counter was the same as the one outside— it read _Ichabod's _in flashing, colored letters. _Strange name—obviously local to many other planets besides Earth. _"I'm going to have to remember this place."

Red was looking at me with this…curious expression on his face—unlike I'd seen on him before—contemplative. He blinked several times. "…You've never eaten at a place like this, have you?"

I looked him in the eyes. "Yeah—back on Earth, they have places like thi—"

"No, no. I mean, you've never eaten at a place this expensive before, have you?"

"…How much—?"

Red smirked. "I'm the _Tallest_. You like it?"

"Yeah. I want to remember it." _For next time we… _I caught myself and butterflies joined the food in my stomach for a moment.

He took another sip of his milkshake. "There are only two in the universe."

"Really? Where's the other one?"

"I…I want to say Jagger." He shrugged. "Not sure." _Dwicky hasn't taught us any place by that name…_I just nodded. "But I understand why you like it, and driving the Voot Cruiser." He gave me a warm look. "This must all be so different."

I gazed around the restaurant before shrugging. "I'm more happy to have someone I know with me, you know?" For the past few months, it's just been…" I still had to garner my courage to talk to him face-to-face like this. "…place to place and not a lot of…" _Security. _"Friends."

There was that look again—thoughtful. He stared, repeated me. "Friends?"

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, you said we weren't enemies. I don't think so, either."

* * *

"Remember what I told you about the Planet-Jacker war?" Red and I were seated on the couch in his quarters, a blaring war movie playing before us.

I yawned. "Yeah. With all the other information, I feel like my brain's about to explode."

"Well," he pointed toward the screen, "this rebellion was a result of that. The producers thought going to the Planet Jacker's home world would be better for production."

"Did they blow 'em all up?"

"Yes. Well…after the movie was done."

I smirked. "That's horrible." All the driving and information was starting to make me drowsy, though. "…So, the Meekrob like egg rolls, and the Planet Jackers like hamburgers." I looked up at Red. "That's at least what Dwicky told us."

He met my eyes. "Those are sweeping generalizations." He was smirking slightly. "The Meekrob do like egg rolls, but that's not all they eat. In fact, since they're energy, they hardly have to eat at all."

"Lucky…" I sat up. "Maybe I should go work as a waitress for _them_!"

"Psh. Good luck getting tips with that."

I chuckled. "You don't pay me."

"I know. So…this actor, right? He signs on with a company on some theater planet…"

As the minutes dragged on, I felt my eyelids and head growing heavier. I'd been up since five, and despite the time to adjust to the crazy schedule change, it was taxing on a human. I wondered if I might get sick from all the atmospheric and overall changes going on. There was some battle sequence going on, with the actor Red was talking about leading the charge, but before I knew it, my head had found the cool metal of his shoulder armor—it was underneath my temple—and the shapes and colored onscreen slowly blurred as the sounds became garbled in my mind. For a few minutes, I hovered in the balance between wakefulness and sleep. A tinny voice sounded, which I somehow remember registering as Purple's, over Red's communicator on his other arm. A pause.

The last thing I remember was feeling an arm encircle my shoulders.

* * *

"He treated her like she equal with us," a voice around the table muttered.

"Yeah, and what was that business about us _thanking_ her?"

The elites around the lounge table fidgeted, picked up drinks and lowered them, spoke in varying tones.

"Well, she was there when no one else was—she did do something…noble."

"_I_ could have done that."

Rarl put a hand on the table. "The question is why she was even on the ship in the first place. Is she with them? Was she out to kill Red? She could just be feeding us a fake account."

"No, the Tallest would know."

"She seems of average other-species intelligence—I talked to her in the kitchen once."

"Not the intelligence required to receive an onstage adulation!" Someone complained. "What about the people protecting Purple? Or the fighters during that three-day scrap? She did _nothing_ for three days!"

"Hey, somebody pass the juice."

"Yeah, juice."

"…On the plus side, they do have the smallest rooms on board."

"Service Drone Bob's got a _closet_!"

There was an uncomfortable muttering around the table.

"Sorry, _had_ a closet."

Rarl frowned. "Who cares what size their rooms are? She got acknowledged by the Almighty Tallest in front of the whole freaking Empire. She's not part of our ranks—she isn't even a real guest."

"…That was a pretty brave thing to do though."

"She did it by accident! That's what I heard from the one with the big head."

A general spattering of angry responses. "He's anti-us."

"And ugly."

"They're all ugly!"

"Skoodge, nobody invited you to speak!"

The short invader balled a fist. "I've got rights!"

"…Rat conquerer."

"Come _at_ me!"

"Enough!" Rarl shouted. "It's bad enough they're here and recognized. Now we have to get along with them…anyone have any ideas?"

"Did you know they went out today?" Someone said. He earned several stares. "She and the Tallest. They left Tallest Purple to do the paperwork."

"…That's weird."

"He's never left the ship except for conventions and stuff."

"I saw them earlier in the library!"

Rarl sighed, long and exasperated. "I don't like this one bit…but if our leaders want to welcome these…foreigners…into our ship…who are we to defy them?"

"So what do we do about the humans?"

"I say we put them all in closets!"

"Yeah, I'm tired of living in a closet."

"Nobody asked you, shorty. It's your own fault."

"Guys. Focus. We're going to accept them, too—as best we can." Rarl studied the faces around the table. "They're different from us…hideously so. But that doesn't mean they can't adapt. The Tallest is probably just trying to speed up the process. They can't genuinely care about them—they just want the assimilation out of the way so they don't have to train them anymore. Let's help them along so we can forget about their differences."

Hesitant nods. "…But that one has such a big head!"

The advisor exploded. "_Skoodge_! Stop ruining everybody's moments!"

"We could…" One spoke haltingly. "Invite them to the lounge sometime. They are their servants, after all."

"See? That wasn't so excruciating…" Rarl cringed. "I think."

"Do we have to actually talk to them?"

Rarl glared. "Don't push it."


	17. Research

_(Ruza's POV)_

I placed the dumbbell on the rack—it made a _clang-_and surveyed the training room. Rows of machines organized by muscle group ran the length, and the weights racks lined the back wall.

It had been months since the Irken meeting on Conventia; and if we'd felt unaccustomed to life on the _Massive_ before, that unfamiliarity had left long ago. This was my new life, my home, serving the Tallest and the Empire. I'd found myself complaining less, and Purple complained less about my presence. He was working on something, but I didn't know what it was. For the moment, I couldn't imagine being anywhere else…not to mention the fact that being a Tallest's servant entailed many privileges, and loads of fun. I didn't mind at all that my new home happened to be smack dab in the middle of space.

Except for the war.

I wiped my face with a towel, feeling accomplished after an almost two-hour workout. We'd started training, like the rest of them, except for "medic" Dwicky who always skipped the workouts. I smirked every time the possibility crossed my mind that we might be needed in battle. It was unlikely, but the thrill that had overtaken me during the _Colossal_ escape couldn't be matched. I was honestly anticipating the next time I could give those Vortians and other races a rematch.

As these months had passed, I'd found myself opening up more to my human cabin-mates. It made everything so much easier to digest. Hannah and I often shared assignments, and she spoke up more now. She'd become easier to talk to. We didn't see much of Dwicky anymore; but he was still around.

I heard the familiar clang of equipment across the room Since it was almost lunch, most of the Irkens were already headed for the cafeteria. I found Dib in front of the pull up bar, taking a drink from one of the fountains. "Hey."

Dib's hair was matted to his forehead. "Remind me never to do pull-ups again." He smiled and pushed up his glasses.

I grinned back and threw him an extra towel. "You look like you went for a swim. Good work."

"I'm planning on becoming an invader by the end of the week."

We shared a chuckle and I lightly punched his shoulder. As Dib and I exited the training room, I mentally reviewed the list of formerly Empire-ruled planets currently occupied by the rebels. Boodie Nen had been taken, much to Slack's dismay—and Meekrob had come close. The rebels had grown at an alarming rate. Lard Nar's fleet had gained several new species—we could no longer expect to win in only a handful of battles. Many of Smack's calls had aided us in stopping offensives we wouldn't have seen. Our little mole had managed to remain undiscovered. I hoped it would stay that way. Dwicky had offered to contact the Plookesians, for added backup, but we still had the numbers advantage, so that trial wasn't quite necessary yet.

Purple rounded the hall corner. "Oh, there you two are!"

I raised my eyebrows. "I thought you were in the library."

He grinned. "I was, but now I'm hungry."

I smirked. "Only every minute on the minute."

* * *

_(Hannah's POV)_

"And then the steering stick can stay in place, just like that."

Dwicky quirked an eyebrow and the side of his mouth lifted a tiny bit. "You've told me," he said flatly. "Six times."

Embarrassment tugged at my gut. "…It hasn't been that many times."

"Yes it has." He sat up on my couch. The TV in front of us had gone to commercial. "Mind my asking why driving is suddenly so fascinating to you? I tried to explain the mechanics of the Plookesian ship at least twice while we were on it."

"Yeah, but you never let me drive it."

"Was it that?" He stared pointedly at me. "Or because it was me? And not someone else…?" He trailed off suggestively.

I fought the warmth creeping into my face. "Yeah, right. You try driving the Plookesian ship." Now I knew I was just grasping for something to say. "It's hard. Irken technology is much easier."

Dwicky blinked, giving me a blank stare. "…You've got to be kidding." I felt like wincing. "That is the worst cover up I have ever heard. You're into him and you're crazy."

"I am not!" I replied automatically.

Dwicky leaned back and sighed. His tone sounded tired when he spoke. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Ugh…Dwicky."

"Ugh…_Hannah_."

* * *

"We've gathered enough information!" Zim yelled. "We should be heading out into space, to collect our glorious praise!" He stalked around the street corner.

"But the stories are just getting good," Tenn said. "Ixane has been a goldmine. All these bases, these military secrets—if we stick around for one more hour, we could get the secret to bringing down Lard Nar himself!"

"We'd do it more easily with two giant planetary weapons systems!" Zim mimed shooting things while Tenn sighed.

"You need help."

"_I _need help?" He muttered. "Yeah right."

"Just let's go say goodbye to Ixane. Maybe she'll have another story for us."

"Fine. But then we're blowing this planet to smithereens as soon as—"

Tenn clamped a hand over his mouth. "Not so loud!"

Zim spat, clawing at her hand, and stomped down the street toward the pub, muttering angrily.

"Sheesh…somebody's not in a good mood today." Tenn followed him inside and sat beside him at the bar. Ixane was seated in her usual spot, and she greeted them. "We have good news," Tenn spoke up. "Our Vortian familial units are here to pick us up. We can go home. To, uh…"

"The other side of the planet," Zim finished in a flat tone. He glared at another fruit punch, obviously sick of the stuff.

"Yeah," Tenn forced a grin.

Ixane eyed them, and for a few crucial moments, Tenn sat with held breath. "…Oh. Well, that's fortunate. To be completely honest, I'm nearly out of stories to tell."

Tenn exhaled. "Oh, thank goodness. I wouldn't want to miss one. So…what do you have?"

Ixane leaned forward. "I'm sure you know about the prisons the Irkens kept here while you were away on duty. It was before my time as a freedom fighter, so I was still here."

Tenn shook her head and noted Zim's eyes locking on Ixane. "No. I've never heard about that." She actually did know about those prisons, but the extent of her knowledge was that Red and Purple used to visit them and they'd kept rebelling Vortians in line.

"Well, they started simply as containment units; but as the Tallest saw ways to break the prisoners, it became a torture house. It's still standing, you know. They, the former prisoners, left it standing as a testimony to all the Research Lab workers and other inmates."

"What happened there?" Tenn asked. Zim was watching, apparently half-interested.

"I would be here for years if I was to tell you everything. Stories leaked from the inside—they didn't just use laser guns as torture devices. But the conditions themselves were horrible—worse than Dirt, in some cases. I'm sure you've been to Dirt?"

Zim squeezed his drink cup. "Stupid, psychotic, manipulative—"

"Zim." Tenn gave him a pointed look before turning back to Ixane. "So, if you had to pick one thing…?"

There was a commotion outside the restaurant as Ixane leaned on the bar and looked into Tenn's face. "Her. They killed _her._"

Tenn frowned, her eyes narrowing. "'Her' who?"

"_He_ killed her."

"Killed who? Who killed who?"

"What are you talking about?"

The restaurant door burst open and the prison police filled the space. "Hey! We know you're in here!"

Zim whipped around to face them, reached down and seized Tenn's arm, and spoke out of the side of his mouth. "Wonderful story, see ya!"

Tenn glanced back one last time at Ixane before Zim literally yanked her out of the restaurant, motioning to the two SIRs all but subtly. The cloaked alien looked confused, and almost like the wheels in her head were already turning. Tenn knew the embarrassing shame would come later.

They had to get out of there now.

* * *

"Red!" Purple hovered to the center of the room and executed the final strokes on his data pad with a flourish. "It's done. Ruza won't know what hit her—I designed two backup launchers, and some pudding, just for that extra touch of…" He stopped midsentence as he realized his audience had stopped listening. "…Hey." His counterpart was currently focused on Hannah and Dib on the other side of the Control Room. Purple frowned, and proceeded to jab his counterpart with a finger. "Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey."

Red waved him away, still focused on the other two. "What?" Not getting a response, Red turned, seeming to make a bigger leap back into reality. "Yes?" Purple simply continued staring. "…What?!"

"Why are you staring at her?"

"What?" Red frowned before his eyes widened and darted to the pair and back. "I'm not—"

"You are."

"Am _not_."

Purple wondered if the darker hue of his partner's face was his own imagination. "You mean to tell me what I thought I saw isn't really what you think I thought I saw?"

"…That doesn't even make sense." Red stared forward and sipped his drink.

"Whatever. Just look at this thing I drew." Purple proudly thrust his data pad in Red's face. "It has four levers, and the rubber band releases the pudding, and it's set off by this trip wire, see—and if we calculate the trajectory or whatever right, she'll never see it coming!"

Red raised an invisible brow. "That's Ruza's hairbrush tied to a can of whip cream and a bowl of pudding…Besides, how do you know a random person won't come around the corner and trip it?"

"Uh…" Purple clapped his hands. "I'll set it in her room so no one else will be near it! Genius!"

"_That'll_ work."

"It will! You'll see!" Purple admired his drawing for a few more seconds. "It'll be amazing. Maybe we can rig her entire room to implode. That would kill her! Not literally, of course. She'd be kind of difficult to replace, and…hey." Purple caught Red gazing in the same direction as before. Dib and Hannah were staring amusedly at a screen. She broke into laughter, her eyes widening, and ran a hand through her hair. Purple studied his partner's expression and frowned. He opted to punch him this time. "Hey!"

Red jerked and slammed his drink on the table. "…_What?!"_

"You're _staring_!"

Another almost guilty look crossed the crimson Tallest's features.

"You might want to get that checked out." Purple rose and floated off. "Why do I bother to include him in my plans? My genius plans."

* * *

"Computer."

_**Ugh. 'Computer this, Computer that.' Can anyone around here do their own research? **_

Red replied through gritted teeth. "Our printed library has nothing about humans. Connect me to the online library before I deactivate you."

_**Sheesh. Gotta do everything myself these days. Literacy's dropping through the—**_

"Now!"

The computer beeped and the room went silent as the AI began to access the most exhaustive electronic collection of data in the universe.

Red had left lunch early and had since been buried in the library. He knew the Irken database possessed no human knowledge; but having to access another server was still frustrating.

Maybe this qualified as some nature of hideous mental disease. He'd begun to notice it a few months ago, during his daily routine, whenever she'd been around. Something had changed.

_**Database loaded. Downloading…**__**Where should I look? Social interactions? Customs? Behavioral complexes?**_

"Diseases." Red's chin rested on his hand. "Malfunctions. Hideous chemical mutations."

_**We're going to get far with that attitude. **_

"Remind me to reprogram your personality later. Just pull it up." The screen before Red lit up, new information filling the screen. "…Behavior…Habits…"

_**I think I found something that may be useful to you.**_Red blinked as new information popped onscreen. _Human relationships and emotions._

He glanced up. "…Emotions? No. There has to be some form of chemical imbalance."

_**Maybe, but if you might as well start with this. Unless you want to go back to the hideous growth section.**_

Red shook his head and returned his attention to the screen. There were plain emotions—anger, pride, and happiness—things he was familiar with and felt on a daily basis. That wasn't helpful at all.

_**If you described your experience to me, I might be able to narrow the search.**_

Red sighed. "I don't think it's just an emotion. We've learned a lot about humans; but I haven't learned anything about this." Something inside of him jumped when Hannah was around. He didn't know how to explain it—he just knew he felt happier, more excited; and he'd wanted to talk to her lately, about everything. He found himself admiring her, and, dare he admit it even mentally, finding her physically attractive. Who knew humans could be so tall?

The problem was, she had become a distraction. The mission was most important—right now, leading the Irkens to victory. Instead, he was here.

…_**Care to define 'this'?**_

Horrible. Why couldn't he remember the simplest fact near her? Why did his composure falter when she talked? Just being in proximity to her was distracting.

…Wonderful. Her confidential smiles—not being able to think straight, having his spooch do flips, the desire for her to stay longer when she had to sleep or work somewhere else. He was becoming more convinced by the second it was a foreign, psychological illness caught from the humans.

Red rubbed his neck. "Uhh…I like to see her happy. She makes me want to be a better leader." He realized what he'd just said and his face heated. "Well, anything?" He covered it with a sharp tone.

_**Patience,**_the Computer droned. _**I'm sifting through some stuff…**_

Waiting was frustrating. Why did Purple have to give him those suspicious glares, why did this need to happen in the middle of a war, and why did he feel like beating someone up and smiling in the same moment? _Definitely a mental illness. _

_**Done,**_ it finally said.

Red remained silent for an entire second. "_And_?"

…_**There are a few possibilities…one in particular. It's common among Earth larvae, so, you know. Reassuring. **_

Red spoke through his teeth. "And that would be?"

…_**Love.**_

Red repeated the word. He had an exceptionally clouded idea of what it was that caused his spooch to churn with a thick, sickened dread. This was _not_ normal. This was _not_ acceptable. This was _not_ a game. This was his identity at stake.

"No. No, that can't be it." His muscles clenched. "I don't even know what love is_, _for Irk's sake. I just know it's a weakness!"

**"**_**Caring about another person so as to look out for their wellbeing above your own."**_

"Oh, thanks for that," Red sneered. "What am I supposed to do?...Compile a list of cures now!"

_**Sheesh, give me a minute! It's not easy navigating a universal database…**_

Red cringed. "This is bad. This is so unacceptable. This is so taboo. I am so going to be deactivated if this keeps up."

_**Um, sir? This might not be extremely helpful, but…there doesn't seem to be any information about "falling out" of love. It's apparently much more complicated than an emotion. Ideally, it is unconditional.**_

"…You're telling me…there is _no way_ to banish these feelings? These feelings that are wrecking my concentration?"

_**Unfortunately.**_

"What, then?" He stood and paced the room. "What do the humans do, since it's so common? Do they all catch it?"

_**Why do you expect me to be the Earth database? You're the one obsessed with a human female—why don't you just ask her?**_

"No." Red shook his head. "That's the last thing I'm going to do. I have to get rid of this 'love' thing once and for all before I lose every sane cell in my brain!"

_**But sir, I already explained, you can't—**_

"I'll pretend it didn't happen. I won't let her interfere with the war." Red stormed out of the library, leaving a confused computer watching the door and the love article on the screen.

* * *

Another file landed atop the huge stack of paperwork next to Red as the Control Room door swished open. The sound of a hover belt. Purple's voice traveled across the room. "You've been sitting there for hours. What's going on?"

"…I have work to do."

"But the elites in the lounge—"

"Are not as important as keeping up with our work. Get with the program."

"…No, you get with the program! Since when do you pass up a party for something as stupid as paperwork?"

"Someone needs to take care of it while the rest of you are messing around."

"..._Messing around__?_"

Red sighed. "I'm going back to work." He could all but feel Purple's glare on him. One of the computers beeped.

"Sir," A tech drone said, "transmission from Zim."

"Perfect!" Red rolled his eyes. "That's just what I need."

The screen fizzled to life and showed a blurry image of Zim's face. The signal was obviously warped—only every third word Zim said was clear. _"…we…fly…-nd…towards…finally…Gir…thirty-two…so many police…finally off the planet."_ Zim saluted like they'd won the war.

Red exhaled. "Zim, your signal's dying. Repeat that. Actually, just the short version. The really short version."

_"Yes, my T…"_

The door swished again. Red didn't care who it was—he was trying to listen to Zim.

Red distantly registered Ruza's voice, coming from behind him. "Why are you two in here? They're playing Guitar Hero in the lounge!"

"Red's being a party pooper." Purple said.

_"-a…Tenn and I…_Massive_…forty-three…but it's only…until…-ercury…police...so we...are on our way!"_

"Hey…what's that?" Ruza asked.

"Uh, nothing!" Purple sounded panicked.

"What is it…?"

"Nothing! I said nothing! It's something I was going to show him."

"Then show him." Red heard the grin in her voice.

Red's eyes narrowed. "Kind of in the middle of a call."

"It's nothing you need to know about, Ruza—it'll probably bore you. It's…Tallest stuff!"

"Zim, just put Tenn on." Red frowned.

_"…kay…-y Tallest…do that…"_ More static as Zim handed the receiver to Tenn.

"Red," Ruza's voice came, "Purple has something to show ya!"

_"I…and Zim…-ot to the planet…-s not too f…-iloting mechanism…another shot."_

Red huffed and yelled at the tech drone. "Can't you make it any clearer?"

"I'm trying, my Tallest, but their communication devices aren't in good condition."

_"...-ause…a police chase…-s spiraling down…-ace of Vort..."_

Red's leaned forward. "What? What did you say about—?"

"Just put the tablet away if you're not gonna show me!"

"Stop being a pest." Purple said. "I'm trying to listen."

Another voice spoke next to Red. "Hey, I just wanted to see if you wanted a snack like you usually do at this time."

Her voice turned him from Tenn for a moment. His eyes locked with hers, and he felt that familiar heat rush to his face. _Get ahold of yourself_! Red adopted the most nonchalant expression he could. "I…no. I don't want anything."

_"…don't know…how it went…"_

Red growled. "Will someone fix it already?"

"My Tallest, their signal is growing weaker bec-"

"I didn't ask you why, just fix it!"

"Hey!" Purple nudged his arm. "Look at this stupid thing before Ruza sees it!"

"Aha! I knew it was a secret! Hannah, grab it!"

"Tenn, could you be just a little bit louder?...Never thought I'd ask her that." Red slapped Purple off and glared at him.

"What?" The violet Tallest shrugged.

"…_months without…it's insane!"_

"Purple, I wanna see!" Ruza whined.

"Are you sure you don't want something?" Hannah asked again.

"Purple, shut your help up before I do it. No! I don't _want_ anything! Will you all just—?"

"My Tallest!" The drone called. "The transmission system is experiencing technical-"

"Ruza, leave me alone. Don't touch that! I'll cut your arms off and feed them to a Slorbeast!"

_"…-ant me to put on Lio?"_ Tenn asked.

_"Lio can't answer for us!"_ Zim was somewhere off screen.

"My Tallest,"—the tech drone—"are you listening to me?"

Red felt anger boiling inside him. His eye began to twitch. He felt like he was going to explode.

"Ruza! Give it _back_!"

"Okay."

"_Ow!_ Now I'm gonna get a black eye!"

"There are technical difficulties—"

_"…afraid it's going to…-efore we can…-act again. Mars is..."_

"Ruza, _cut it out_!"

_Her _voice. "I'm just asking because usually, you like some donuts or something, and—"

"_Stop!__**"**_ The room was quiet. Red stood and faced the others. The tech drones sunk behind their desks. The other three stared at him. "I don't want anything! All I want is for everyone to _stop _talking." He faced Hannah. "If you can't follow orders, then get out, human! You can take a flying leap off the ship for all I care! And you two, get out of the Control Room and shut up about your stupid _invention_!" He looked around the room. "If anyone else interrupts, I will personally shoot them out the airlock! Understand?!"

The tech drones nodded, resuming their work. Within seconds, the transmission resolution was fixed.

_"...My Tallest, we are prepared to return as soon as we locate Mars and Mercury. We should be back in a matter of days."_

Red tried to ignore the murmurings behind him before the door opened and shut again. It was their fault…right? He was the one doing important things, after all.

* * *

"I don't think this 'cooking' thing is so hard." Dib said. "I don't know what you girls are complaining about all the time." He hummed as he stirred a small bowl of batter. "This cake is gonna come out great. I even added cinnamon."

Ruza blinked. "Dib."

"Yeah?"

"That's pepper."

Dib glanced at the bowl. "Wha…? But I…it…Nooo!"

Ruza tried unsuccessfully to suppress a smile. "Here, give it. We'll start over, okay?"

Schnell sprinted by with four trays of deviled eggs. He skidded to a stop and faced us. "Hey guys, speed it up—I have four hundred cheesecakes, two hundred cupcakes, and eighty-five donuts. Let's go!"

Dib's head fell into the batter bowl with a squishing out. Ruza rested an arm on the counter and groaned. "You were saying?"

Dib shook his head. "Computers are so simple."

"Riiight. Hannah, can you set Dib up? I have to put in this cake."

"I'm kinda busy." My station was littered with toasters and other assorted appliances. "I have fifty donuts before the hour—can't you do it by yourself?"

He groaned, threw the bowl in the garbage—crash. Ruza and I winced.

The only encouraging thought was our shift ended at the top of the hour. I threw food almost at random into machines, checking on the other two every couple of minutes.

"Dib, that's vanilla!"

"What?" Dib held up the small, brown vial. "How the heck is this vanilla? I thought we were making chocolate cake."

"Redo it, hurry!"

"HAAARRGGHH!"

At least I had these two. They were enough to keep my mind off this morning. Well, them and the insane lunch rush.

Schnell burst through the door. "Oh, and girls, they're here and they're hungry." Ruza and I shared a glance. "Take care of it or you're fired."

The thought of facing the Tallest was nerve-wracking, but we had no choice. I wasn't in charge of their actions—it was up to us to do the best we could and…I gasped. "Whoa!" Two of the Tallest's donuts fell in the toaster.

"What? What?" Ruza asked.

I exhaled. "Nothing…ah…here, give me that tray. Get drinks. Let's go."

I trashed the two bad donuts and she walked through the door with me. "You can do this," Ruza said under her breath as we neared the Tallest's table.

I exhaled. "Yeah…I wish I knew what made him so angry."

Red and Purple were engaged in conversation with the elites. Ruza set the drinks on the table. "My Tallest."

Purple nodded silently, drawing the cup to his lips. Before he drank it, he glanced at her. "You didn't poison this, did you?"

"No. What kind of con artist do you take me for?" Purple opened his mouth, closed it again, and took a sip, before resuming listening to Slacks. I set Red's drink down in front of him, praying he wouldn't disapprove—it was the same one he ordered everyday. He looked at it, and then up at me. I forced myself to hold his gaze.

"Where are my donuts?" His tone was sharp.

"I…" I took a deep breath. "They're ready, I just…" _Please don't make me say it…_ "They somehow ended up in the toaster, and…"

"What?" His eyes widened. I fought the urge to cringe. "What on Irk are you doing?"

My voice was timid. "I have two more—"

"I want a filet of Mork and my donuts! Got it?"

"Yes, sir." I ran to the kitchen, cursing myself.

"Stupid cake!" Dib wrestled with a mountain of batter. "Why do you have to be so difficult? You're a cake!"

"Dib, four hundred cheesecakes—now!" Dib slumped against the closed oven, crying in exhaustion. Five or six donuts were ready. I didn't allow myself to relax until I'd placed them in front of Red. Everyone always felt better with a full stomach. "Here."

Red turned again, studied what I'd brought, and looked up.

"Where's my meat?" His tone was dangerously low.

My heart stopped. "I…" Irk, his eyes were practically blazing. "I—I'm sorr—"

"I want Mork!"

"I know," I tried desperately.

"You think you can do whatever you want?" I backed up as Red rose from the table.

"N-no…"

"When I request something, I _get_ it!"

His hands hit me, and I staggered back into another Irken. He had something in his hands that tilted with us, and we were on the floor. Pain shot through my arm. The tub of dishes drenched us with liquid. I gaped. Conversations died.

"…Still think I'm not capable of getting what I want?"

It took me several moments to be able to meet his eyes again. For some reason, my eyes began to sting. Purple and the others watched from behind Red. "…Yes. I think you're a conceited brat who can't do anything." _WHAT THE HECK AM I SAYING?!_ I got to my feet. "I've never seen you make anything for yourself. Even _Bob_ knows how to make Vort dogs!"

Something hit Red's face—a Vort dog. I looked down at my greasy hand, and terror shot through me. I gaped at him as a collective gasp rounded the cafeteria.

Red wiped off the greased, his eyes never leaving mine. "You did _not_ just do that."

_I'm dead. I am soo dead._

He stared at me for a good ten seconds. I struggled to comprehend what was going on as he glared off to one side. I only realized he'd been eyeing a pitcher of fruit punch when it was already in the air.

It was like ice. I gasped, along with the rest of the cafeteria, and looked down to make sure that had just happened. Orange bits of fruit and juice added to the dishes liquid. I breathed, felt tempted to laugh because my life was safe for the moment, and found the nearest food item with my eyes: a bowl of the Irken equivalent to mashed potatoes.

_Splat._

Red's chest was officially covered in them. He looked down before meeting my eyes again. His held a glint. A wry smile curled onto his face. The entire cafeteria was silent until Purple shouted the two words ensuring death for everyone in the room.

"Food fight!"

For the following five minutes, I couldn't think, see, or hear straight. My clothes became more soiled in each instant. I stared from behind a table as Red took handfuls of deviled eggs and, laughing now—_laughing_—chucked them in my direction.

Purple laughed victoriously as some machine he'd built threw pies at Ruza. "This is for erasing my email, you horrible person!"

Ruza squealed and dove behind a table.

It was the top of the hour, and someone else would have to clean this mess. I slowly made my way to the door and exited the chaos.

I needed a quiet place to think.

* * *

_(The Colossal)_

"Sir?"

Smack watched Lard Nar look over the techie's shoulder at the screen. "…That's good," The Vortian leader said.

"We can wipe out the two biggest masses by locking on here; but we risk leaving the smallers at the bottom." Smack also observed the screen, unease churning inside him.

Lard Nar shook his head. "We can wipe those out hours later. How long until we're ready to launch?"

The techie smirked. "Seventy-two hours, sir."

Nar nodded. "Alert me."

Smack watched his master retreat and felt panic begin to build. _Three days…_


	18. Decision

"This just enforces what I already told you, sweetheart. You have to come back to Earth."

I looked down at the couch and sighed. Onscreen, my father's brown hair was ruffled from his hand. His crow's feet had begun to show up more lately. "…I already told you, it's not possible."

"If you got out there, you can get back—there's no difference—"

"You don't understand!" I leaned forward. I took a breath in, and then another one out. My father stared back at me. My eyes dropped. "…It's not like that."

"Then what is it _like_? Threats from aliens?"

"I'm sure he didn't really mean it…"

His expression hardened. "Dwicky tells me differently. Those people have a history of ending lives, and you're right in the middle of it! Look at you, with that uniform and a room the size of a microwave!"

I threw up my arms. "This uniform fits fi…!" My hand hit a screen on the wall and pain shot through it. I gripped my hand, stifling a cry. Through my teeth, I continued, "…and this room is the perfect size."

"Hannah, I really don't think you're prepared to stay out there. If what Dwicky is saying is the truth, there's going to be a lot more action going on than there has been. I can't sit idly by and watch you get caught up in it!"

"We aren't. We're safe. On the _Massive._"

"When you called me you sounded real secure."

"Okay, you know what? I'm just going to deal with it. Goodbye, dad!" I shut off the transmission, already regretting hitting the button.

Then, I sat steaming, my mind returning to the arguments that'd happened over the past day.

I felt angry, indignant, and confused at once. I couldn't exactly just ignore Red; and I didn't really want to, either. I feared he had lost interest in me. _I should have known he can never care about me the way I care about him._

After about five minutes, it became clear to me I'd likely need to make the first reconciliatory move. Resolving to do so, I stood, stared one moment more at the TV, and opened my door to find Red.

Literally, he was right there. I didn't know for how long he'd been, but...

"Uh…hi."

He looked just as uneasy. "Hi."

An awkward silence ensued...The metal floor was actually pretty nice when you studied it long enough. Pink…and metal…

"So…what are you doing down here?" I finally asked.

"…I need to talk to you."

"Oh. Well, so do I…I mean, talk to you…about what happened…I'm sorry about throwing food at you. It was very disrespectful." I couldn't meet his gaze. "I feel really bad for whoever has to clean it all up, though."

He barely smirked. "Yeah."

I relaxed a bit. "I think I saw Skoodge get set on fire…"

"He did. Zee dumped a pitcher of punch on him."

I chuckled. "…You're not at dinner still? Usually you and the elites stay there for—"

Red's expression was uneasy. "I need to talk to you."

"Oh yeah." _But about what?_ "Dinner?"

"No...yes..." It was like he couldn't meet my eyes. Red sighed. "…I've been really confused. And it has to do with you."

A glimmer of hope sparked back to life inside me. _But it can't be._

"How have I been confusing?" I kept my tone soft.

"I don't even understand it."

"Red." He met my gaze. "You can tell me."

The Tallest sighed again and shook his head. "It's like…" I looked up at him expectantly. "My entire outlook has changed."

He'd changed when we first met…I shook my head slightly. "I don't…"

"Do you…do you think…?" His eyes darted around. He stared at me for a moment before exhaling. I hadn't anticipated this behavior from him at all. "You're really pretty…"

My mouth fell open, before morphing into an ear-to-ear grin. "…You…?"

"Hannah, I—"

Footsteps, around the corner. "Go long! Go long!" A ball of some sort flew through the air as two smaller Irkens careened between us and continued down the hallway. They halted to salute and then continued.

"…Come to the roof," Red said.

Heart fluttering, I followed him, eager to hear the words I desperately hoped he wanted to share.

* * *

Smack was so immersed in the screen in front of him that he didn't hear Lard Nar's approach at first. The commander's hand hitting the console almost caused Smack to fall out of his chair.

"Hacked anything good today, Smack?"

"…No," he replied. "I'm working on fiscal reports."

The Vortian leaned in. "You haven't debilitated them in a while." His tone lowered. "What's that about?"

"I've been busy." Smack sighed.

"…I don't believe you."

Smack opened the Irken server link. It loaded quickly. "See?" He glared at the commander. "Now, why don't you go put a couch together? Your people are good at that."

Lard Nar studied the screen intently for a few moments before his blazing eyes landed back on Smack. "I'll be back. I expect some damage to be done. Is that understood?"

Smack shook his head. After Lard Nar left, he downsized the window, realized how empty his stomach felt, and rose from the desk. _That was close. Good thing he's too busy to really follow up on that._

* * *

I didn't say it, but I already pretty much knew what Red wanted to talk about at this point. It was so unreal. But I'd felt that way for him for months.

We stood at the railing on the roof, the stars floating by around us. I messed with my communicator, trying not to look at him.

"Are you angry?"

I sighed. "…A little. You didn't hurt me, but I felt betrayed."

"I know. I'm sorry."

I looked up at him. _The Tallest, apologizing?_ It was difficult to meet his eyes. "You are?"

He glanced into space and slowly shook his head. "I treated you like you were worthless. And you're not."

"…Okay. Then I forgive you. I'm not about to stop being your friend over a smeetish fight."

"No, I'm serious—you didn't deserve that."

"I am, too." I held his gaze. "You're important to me. You're the one I want to spend time with the most."

Red laughed almost caustically. "You want to talk about spending time together? Cause that's all I've wanted to do with you for the past two months."

I felt my cheeks warm. "…Really?"

"Yes!" He leaned on the railing. "And I don't understand it. But you make me want to…want to…be a…a better…leader, or…something." He didn't look at me anymore, his voice more of a mumble.

_This is new._ I struggled to keep from losing my composure. My heart beat quickly, my face felt hot. _The Tallest, expressing this?! Say something intelligent. Say something to ease his fears. _I looked at him.

"I love you."

His eyes shot to me. _Dang it—why'd I say that? Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no—_

"What?" He breathed the word.

"I…" _Well, heck, it's true!_ "I…love you." Red's eyes were wide and fixed on me. "Um…" My face was burning, probably the hue of his eyes by now. I forced myself to be candid despite the look of shock he was giving me. "You inspire me…about the universe—I mean, you've taught me so much. And it's way more interesting than Dwicky's…" I shook my head. "But I don't love you based on what you do. If I did," I chuckled, "we'd be pretty distant right now."

I wasn't looking at him anymore, but when I finally did, Red looked…happy. Which surprised me because he'd just come off as if affection made him uncomfortable. "You really feel that way?"

I nodded, smiling. "Yeah."

The mirroring smile slipped off of his face. "…Hannah, I…you…I mean…"

I rested my chin on a hand on the railing and just stared at him. "Mm?"

He exhaled. "I…guess I…I mean…all things considered…I…"

"_Hey, Red!"_ His communicator started making noise. It was Purple's voice. _"Guess what?"_

"What?" He snapped.

"_Dib found something in the databases I think you'll want to see. Come to the communications room!"_ There was a certain edge to Purple's voice that made me uneasy. Red and I exchanged looks, before I followed him back to the trapdoor.

"We'll finish this later," Red said.

I nodded.

* * *

Lard Nar knew he needed a plan. No matter how hard he wracked his seasoned brain, the finances would remain the same, the weapons supply rudimentary. They couldn't get a planet, and they couldn't catch a break.

As he paced the Colossal bridge, Lard Nar watched his crew carefully. _Each screen better have something productive on it._ One in particular crossed his eye, and he walked up to it.

Smack's workstation was just like the others, but his screen was void of the earlier linkup he'd insisted he was working on. Upon closer inspection, Nar found the window open at the bottom of the screen and clicked on it. At first, just a white screen showed up. Then, something like a video bar, displaying frames of material. There appeared to be several backgrounds, each of a different room. Nar clicked on the first one. It wasn't a room on the _Colossal._

He realized these were taken from cameras. Hacked. _What the hell was Smack doing?_ Lard Nar clicked around, watching the feeds from several different rooms. Unfortunately, none of them turned out to be the Control Room. He found all sorts of other rooms, mostly with drones in them. One of them looked like the roof of the _Massive_. When he checked the dates, they were all past.

When he watched one of them, he found himself shocked into silence.

It wasn't until the door opened that he recovered his senses.

"_You."_ Lard Nar said the word as his eyes locked with Smack's. The Paetin stared back, taking in Nar's proximity to the computer, and his eyes widened. "What have you done?"

Smack's triangular red eyes slanted in worry.

"You've been communicating with them?!" His voice rose.

Nar sensed the majority of the room watching them. "What, have you been giving them information, too?"

Smack stared back for one second. Two.

Nar felt something snap inside him and he lunged at Smack, grabbing the creature's neck and pinning him against the wall. "What did you think you were doing?!"

"Please…"

"I'm going to make you wish you were never born. Do you understand me? _Nobody_ crosses me and gets away with it!"

"Sir…"

"I've put up with your idiocy for far too long, and you just crossed the point of no return! You're a pathetic excuse for a life form!"

"You don't understand…w-we can try to work it out…"

Rage boiled inside Nar. "I've heard enough of these lies! You've outlived my patience."

"No…"

Nar finally released his neck and Smack fell to the floor, gasping.

"Now I'm going to show you what happens when you want us to act like them."

The Bridge crew broke into hushed murmurs behind him. He had anticipated their fear; but more than that, he needed to teach them a lesson.

"You know I'm right." The voice was raspy, but it drew Nar's attention back to the figure on the floor. He felt his own eyes narrow. The rage boiled inside him again as Smack spoke. "You've seen how we mirror them. You refuse to forgive, for all our sakes!"

The room was silent.

"I'll never reconcile with the Irken scum!"

"Innocent people will die because of your pride!" Smack said.

"I don't tolerate mutiny on my ship. Now you either tell me what you found and admit to it, or I'll shoot your carcass out the airlock. You know how many innocent people are on that ship. Luckily for you, it's a good time of year to Transport. Don't act like you don't understand me."

Smack's eyes widened, and his breath came in short gasps. "…You're just like them."

"Take him away."

Nar waited for the door to slam before hurrying back to the screen to rewatch the scene.

* * *

"What is it?" Red and I entered the communications room. Purple and the other elites were gathered around a screen, looking at something. "Out of the way."

Feeling intimidated, I stayed in the back rather than pushing my way through with him. Ruza was up front but I figured no one would care where I was.

"I found it just a few minutes ago," Dib's voice came from near the screen, his tone low. "I was doing a check on the server, and something…"

Irkens crowded my view.

Purple's voice picked up the train of thought. "He somehow hacked _their_ server; which we've done before, but not this way, exactly."

"Dib's pretty good with these kinds of things," Ruza said.

"So what did we find?" Red asked.

The chorus of Irkens repeating his question filled the chamber until Purple shouted for them all to shut up. "It's…not very good."

"Wait…what does _that_ mean?" Ruza sounded like she was pointing to something onscreen.

"It means," Purple sighed, "we know what planet Nar is going to target next."

A deep, wrenching fear twisted my insides. With a sickening mental shudder, I realized the meaning behind Purple's tone. It only took Ruza a few more seconds.

"_What?!"_

I heard Dib mumble, "The Earth."

"_What?"_

I gasped for breath as fear pounded through me. Amongst the growing noises of the communication room, a distinct red flashing and a familiar alarm sounded.

_Zim._ _If there's one thing we don't need right now…!_

I struggled to control my emotions and think logically as the Irkens answered the call. Zim and Tenn were saying something about the Vortians; but all I could think was that Earth was in danger. Earth was in danger. _My_ Earth, in danger. By the rebels' hands. All this time, we'd known it was on the horizon…

Ruza was suddenly beside me. "Did you hear that?"

I looked down at her. "…No, what?"

"The Vortians!" As if I should understand. "The Planet Jackers!"

"…_What_?" I wasn't in the mood for riddles.

"They stole from the Planet Jackers!"

The Tallest conversed with the two onscreen. I turned to Ruza. "I wasn't listening. Explain everything." _Now,_ I wanted to add.

She took a deep breath, the beginning of wetness coating her eyes. "They knew they couldn't reach Earth from this far, so they're using a Planet Jacker technology being tested in labs to get there and…carry…the planet…to a new location."

My heart froze. "They're doing this?"

She gazed up at me. "Planning on it."

Those words allowed me to breathe slightly. "But how could they steal that technology? The Planet Jackers are neutral, they…" Unless the rebels offered them compensation. Unless they stole it from under the Planet Jackers' noses.

Dib looked ashen when he walked up to us, which matched his earlier tone. "Did you hear them?"

"No," we chorused.

"The fleet, according to _Zim,_ is between us and Earth." His tone was disgusted. "There's a gap for about four more days." He stared at us as if we were supposed to understand what this meant.

"What?" Ruza asked. My mind swam. _Earth in danger. Teleportation technology. They could transport it to a dangerous location…anywhere…_

Dib opened his palms toward us emphatically. "Guys! It means we have four days to make a decision!"

There were still voices in the background as I contemplated his meaning. _A decision. A choice. Four days. What are we deciding?_ Then, amongst Zim's blaring vocalisms and the hushed whisperings of everyone else in communications, I grasped Dib's meaning:

We would either stay or leave, possible forever.


	19. Home

_(The Colossal)_

The energy on the bridge had been high all morning: weapons placed, routine inspections—protocol which hadn't made Nar impatient. He stood at the head of the Bridge, not bothering to suppress his smirk. Faintly, he registered voices, but drowned them out in favor of imagining the impending victory. _Earth will be a smoking corpse, t__he humans ashes, the cities rubble. No one will survive. They'll__ pay. Oh yes, they'll pay. _He laughed.

"We have thirty minutes," someone announced. Nar felt his excitement spike. Another conquest would cripple the humans, and strike fear into the Irkens.

_Let's see what heroics you have up your sleeves this time. Nothing can stop a Planet Jacker transporter._

* * *

_(Massive)_

Waiting was excruciating. Especially when there was nothing any of us could do. Sure, the Armada had gone, in part, to defend the Earth. But Dib, Ruza, Dwicky, and I were stuck at Control Room stations, in agonizing limbo. We hadn't talked yet about the impending decision. In fact, we didn't talk about much of anything, until the transmission came from Zee's team, and panic thrashed around within me.

The Tallest were down in the center, talking to her. In seconds, we saw visual feeds pop up onscreen of the confrontation. One showed Resisty ships on the other side of the Earth. When Dib and I saw the image of our beloved planet, we stood, gaping, no doubt, at the immense number of silver ships surrounding it. Had they sent the entire armada?! The room's activity became like white noise, the Earth's image demanding my attention for over a full minute.

Anger, helplessness, horror.

This was personal. They were not going to get away with this. They would pay.

"It…" Dib's voice was weak. When I put my arm around him, he returned the gesture, probably out of nervousness.

"What's going to happen?" Ruza's voice shook too.

"…They're going to take care of it." Dwicky answered. The counselor couldn't quite mask his anxiety.

Tears slowly filled my eyes. Dib squeezed my arm in what I guessed was supposed to be a comforting gesture; but all it did was make it harder to stifle the beginnings of sobs shaking my chest. Earth safe was the only thing we needed now.

"What happens now?" Ruza insisted. I was too busy gazing at Earth to respond.

Zee's voice filled the room. "_We've got a pretty good eye on them._" She alternated looking at the screen and out the window. "_They're about thirty miles out." _

"How long do we have?" I heard Purple ask her.

"_Hard to say,"_ she responded. "_They haven't done anything_—"

"They're gonna get there," Ruza muttered. Only we four could hear her. "They're gonna get there. It's gonna be okay."

"No…" Dib's face was pale, his eyes wide. "This has happened before. They're going to attack now. They can't stop it."

"Yes they can!" she insisted. "They've got everything planned out—look at the screens! They _are_ going to stop Lard Nar."

"_You_ look at the screens!" Dib raised his voice. "It's obvious they have more ships!"

"That doesn't mean anything," she frowned.

Dib scoffed. "That means a lot, actually!"

"Oh," Ruza stepped towards him and shoved his shoulder, "stop being so pessimistic."

Right then, I lost what little remaining patience I had, reached over, and shoved Ruza away from Dib. "Don't touch him!" I practically hissed.

Ruza gaped, made an indignant sound in her throat, and pushed me back. "_Don't touch me!"_

"Guys!" Dwicky was required to raise his voice. "Calm down!"

"Tell Hannah to stop shoving me!" Ruza threw an arm towards Dib and me.

I barely refrained from smacking her.

Dwicky opened his mouth. "Ruza, I want you on the _other_ side of the room!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the Tallest watching us, but I didn't make eye contact. Ruza stalked around the stations, uttering incoherent things. Our attention soon returned to the screen.

The Resisty was moving closer. My heart sank. Dib and I clung to each other as we watched, those same tears threatening to spill from my eyes. Various elites in the Control Room—for it was crowded with people who didn't even work there who wanted to watch—started giving advice to the fighters on the transmission, who were gearing up for battle. The voices blended together in a frenzied clamor that made my patience dwindle and my head hurt. My arms grew numb, tightly wrapped around Dib. All I could think was that we probably had minutes.

The start of the battle was obvious. Lard Nar had to know he had to deal with us first; nevertheless, the first shots weren't at us but the planet. I didn't know if they meant to cripple us and then transport us; but all the same the shots drew yells from all four of us at once.

"Zee, what's your status?" Red asked.

"_Well, we're flying right into their line of fire…"_ She looked stressed.

"Hold your ground long enough to let the others hack the system. We can't let them activate the transporter."

"_Yes sir."_

Dwicky rushed toward them. "What about the gunmen?"

The Irkens broke up the uniform Resisty lines onscreen, forcing them to momentarily lose concentration on Earth. "They broke formation…" Dib trailed off, gripping the rail.

Purple shook his head. "That doesn't mean this is over." Sure enough, one of the weapons ships, momentarily out of harm's way, powered up its glowing weapons again. This one was bigger than the last ones.

"Zee, the sweeper!" Dwicky yelled.

"_Working on it!"_ It occurred to me that any one of these Resisty ships could be outfitted with the Planet Jacker technology—that meant we had seconds. I saw one of the Irken ships go down towards the surface of the planet—near Antarctica or something—I didn't have the willpower to care.

Now the Tallest and Dwicky were shouting orders. The surrounding chaos and the sweeper left my heart pounding so hard I thought it would burst. Suppressing a scream, I tightened my grip around Dib, if that was possible, and tried to block out all the noise.

Purple complained. "Don't you people know how to stage a basic counterattack?"

"_Of course I do!"_ Zee yelled back. "_We're buying time—there are tons of sweepers, and we don't know which one has it!" _

Something shook her camera feed and Zee grunted.

"What happened?"

"…_I think we're gonna have to send a retrieval unit down to Antarctica."_

"Later," Red replied. "Just keep going."

Another blast hit the Earth. Then another. Bile rose in my throat. The first few had hit nothing but water; but now, entire continents were being hit. I thought I saw one tear slide down Dib's cheek, but I could have been imagining it.

Ruza's voice drifted across the Control Room, since we were on the same level, and reached my ears. "Come on, hurry up…"

Agonizingly slowly, the seconds ticked by, and no other blasts hit the Earth. Sweepers powered up; but it appeared as if there had been a halt in some element of the battle. I imagined the surface, what my beloved people must be going through at that very moment. America wasn't being bombed at this moment—my dad was safe—but that could change in one second. I thought my teeth would break from the pressure, and I breathed raggedly as I willed the sweeper to be delayed just another few seconds.

"Zee, have you found it?" Dwicky yelled.

"_Do the words '_I'm working on it'_ mean anything to you?!"_

"Sorry."

"_We're going as fast as we can. I think—"_

All at once, without warning, an intense, blinding, electric blue flash assaulted our eyes, the rebel feed completely blocked out for a moment. For a terrifying instant, I thought the Resisty had fired the transporter.

Then, when I looked again, there was another group of ships, nearer to the Resisty, gray in color but not exactly as silver as the Resisty's.

If Red's lessons had taught me anything, those were Planet Jacker ships.

I held onto the railing on the upper level of the deck and braced myself for the verbal battle, and likely physical one, that was about to go down.

Before I knew it, a transmission opened, connecting all the parties involved. Lard Nar was the first to speak, ignoring the Jackers for the moment. "_Get away from my new planet, Irken scum."_

Dwicky scoffed. "Yours."

"You don't own any planets," Red said in an almost bored tone. "Leave this one alone."

"_I will not. You and your associates need to be taught a lesson."_

"_The only lesson that needs to be taught here," _one of the Planet Jackers spoke, "_is 'Don't steal from the Planet Jackers.'"_

"_You can't prove anything." _Lard Nar's eyes were wider than I was used to seeing them.

"_Wanna bet? That technology is encoded with our planet's signature. You can't just go traipsing around and steal whatever you like. We have treaties, you know."_

"Yeah." Purple gloated. "With us!"

"_Look,"_ The Jacker said. "_Either put that teleporter back where you found it, or you're going to have the Armada and us to deal with."_

Lard Nar seethed, gripping the handles of his chair, before turning on Red. _"You have no right to this planet! Your invader wasn't a real invader, and just because you have human hostages on board doesn't mean you get to dictate Earth's fate." _

_Hostages? How rude._

"…Are you done?" Red's voice was monotone. I would have chuckled if worry hadn't been making it impossible.

"_No, I am not done!"_

"_We are."_ The Jacker portion of the screen switched back to a view of space, in which I saw a ship move towards one of the Resisty fleet's sweepers.

"_Hey. What are you…? You can't…!"_ Lard Nar stared off to the side, apparently seeing it, too.

Dwicky chuckled. "Apparently, they can."

Was the Earth safe? What was going on?

"What's going on?" Ruza asked.

Dwicky said, "They'll take care of it."

Dib had his arms crossed. I didn't think he believed the counselor, but he watched anyway.

The Planet Jacker ship seized the sweeper and for a few minutes we were watching nothing happen because everything would be going on inside the ships. It turned into more waiting and anxiety.

The rebels started shooting at the Planet Jackers—this just made the Irkens join in, and eventually, when the Jackers pulled away from the sweeper, with the technology gone, Lard Nar must have realized his odds weren't good, and allowed us all to breathe by taking his army and disappearing into the stars. The entire process took half an hour, but I'd zoned out during most of the talking. Seeing Earth safe, finally, enabled me to return to reality…and realize the massive damage done to it.

* * *

"Dwicky."

I said the counselor's name as we walked into the hallway apart from the Control Room workers and the rest of the Irkens that had come to watch.

"I'm scared. What parts of Earth got hit? What's going to happen now? Where did Lard Nar go?" I'd dragged him out to answer all my questions. Instead, he cut me off before I finished asking them.

"Listen."

"Dwicky—"

"_Listen_." He took me by the shoulders. "I don't know everything. I don't know all the details. I barely know what just happened, but I know you were staring at the floor and out the window for most of it, so you probably don't know as much as I do."

"I know," I moaned. "I couldn't handle the stress. I don't understand how these people deal with this kind of thing every day! And my dad…" something in my throat constricted. "…I need to know they're all right. I need to know."

Dwicky regarded me with a sober, compassionate expression. "Yes. There are people I care about, too. We _will_ make sure they're all right. But first, I need you to calm down."

"_How can I be calm?"_ I paced the hallway. "The Earth just got hit—Earth was just attacked! What the hell are we supposed to do when Lard Nar decides—?"

"To hit it again?"

Dwicky's voice was so flat that I recoiled. "What?!"

He sighed. "It's a distinct possibility."

"I…no. No. He won't!"

"Hannah, you saw what just happened."

"_What_?"

"Lard Nar just won!" He raised his voice slightly. "He just won! For a split second, he was stronger than the Irkens, and…and…"

"No, he wasn't! If he was, he wouldn't have run away, and…he wasn't stronger! _We're_ stronger!" Rage roiled inside me. "...Earth _won't_ get hit again!"

"You're deluded…you just saw what—"

Now I was just spewing words without control of my emotions. "You said yourself I wasn't watching and neither were you, and you can't tell me what I saw because you don't even know what happened and I _know_ what I saw! I saw Lard Nar get driven off and…he fled and…" Tears pooled in my eyes. "Oh my Earth, he just attacked the Earth!"

Seconds passed. The floor was blurry under my vision as I fought to keep the tears from spilling down my face and multiplying. Dwicky eventually moved forward and enveloped me in a hug. "…Shhh…it's going to be okay."

"No, it's not."

"Hannah…" He sighed. "There are forces at work you don't see yet. Protocols set in place you don't know of. This is going to be a hard struggle for Earth, but we will come back from it. Lard Nar can_not_ do whatever he wants. I'm sorry for my comment earlier—that didn't help the situation. I guess I'm just on edge…but I didn't need to take it out on you. Will you forgive me?"

I nodded against his shoulder, and drew back, feeling genuinely grateful. Even though hell was going on, he still had the perseverance to stay positive. Now, there was only—

"Now," he patted my shoulder. "Let's go see how your father and Meredith are doing. They won't be happy about…" His eyes grew wide.

Concern rushed through me. "What?" I lurched forward, grabbed his arm. "America didn't get hit!"

"No…" he pushed me off gently, looking at the wall. "It's not that."

"Then what?" Did Dwicky know of another person in a continent that _had_ gotten hit?

"Our choice…"

The realization hit me like a truck. My heart stopped. This hallway around us, the Control Room beside and the people within it, and the world on the screen, my home, childhood, family…

My family and my family.

_Forty-eight hours._

* * *

"Slacks?" Zee looked up from her computer. "Wasn't Hannah just here?"

Slacks studied the area. "…She was just here." He nodded.

Purple called from the middle. "What are you talking about?"

"We don't know where the humans went," Slacks said. Then, to the elites, "I haven't seen Dib or Ruza in a few hours, either."

The Tallest observed the cafeteria. "Kitchen?" Red guessed.

"Off-duty."

"They were just here."

"I think Ruza mentioned talking about something," Skoodge said. "With the other humans, I mean."

The truth seemed to hit everyone at once.

Zee regarded the Tallest. "Should we call them?"

"…No," Purple said. Red gave him a confused look. "They need the night to talk amongst themselves."

Skoodge started up. "But—"

Purple cut him off. "We'll see them in the morning."

Skoodge sat back down. Zee cast worried glances along with others at the table toward the cafeteria doors.

* * *

"I know you're staying, the problem is, what are you going to do about school, and why can't you come home, and what the hell am I supposed to do without you and why doesn't—?"

Dwicky cut off my frantic pacing with a hand over my mouth. "Stop shouting at her."

Ruza was seated on the couch beside me, hands over her mouth, not so much from my reaction as from the stress all of us had been enduring for the last half-hour. Not the half-hour of Earth negotiations—the last hour of debating and reasoning and emotions and crazy, twisted decision-making we were forced to go through.

"You don't even know your own decision," Dwicky continued. "So how can you blame her for hers?"

"Because it's crazy! Leaving Earth behind?" Dib shouted. "The entire reason we're in this mess is because we were trying to save the Earth, and we've always been trying to get back to it!" He faced her. "And now you just want to stay?"

She emerged from behind her hands to lean forward. "Well, stay with me!" It was a challenge. "What have you got back there that's so important?"

Dib's eyes bugged for half a second before he gave her a deadpan expression and muttered, "You did not just seriously ask that question."

Ruza looked at a loss. "What? What is so radical about _my_ staying here? I don't know what you have, but I have _nothing_ back there! And now you just expect me to up and leave from a place like this? It's misery down there!"

"It's our home!" Dib argued.

"It's _your _home!"

"How could you abandon everything we've hoped for the last six months?" I demanded of her.

Dwicky waved. "Guys, calm down." Amazingly, we let him speak. "This isn't going anywhere."

"How could you just leave?" Ruza asked Dib.

He gave her an incredulous look. "I never said I was leaving! I haven't made up my mind yet!"

"Might as well have…" she muttered.

"If you don't want him to judge your choice," I said, "stop judging his."

Her eyes flared and narrowed at me. "What did you say? You were the one just bashing my choice! Where do you get off—?"

"_Guys_. Stop." Dwicky held up his hands. "Obviously, we need a little time to reflect on this before we—"

Ruza stormed toward the entrance to the room, practically shaking with emotion. Dib called out for her before the door slammed behind her.

Dib scoffed. "I'll get her."

I stared at Dwicky. As Dib exited the room, he returned my stare. He said, "I'm going to give you time to work it out."

I stared at the floor and muttered, "Thanks." Then, before I could unleash the weight of my emotions on him, I power-walked out of the room and headed toward the elevator.

_This is going to be a long night._

I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to _look_ at anyone. I needed to be alone.

And apparently, the others felt the same way.

* * *

_(The Colossal)_

"Sir?" The voice sounded through Lard Nar's door. He stopped mid-throw to face the offending obstruction. "…How long have you been destroying things?"

Nar debated answering in his mind, sighed, and crossed to the door. "…Long enough. Why?"

"Um…I was just wondering…what was on that video feed you hacked."

He pressed the button for the door and it swished open to reveal Spleenk. Through his teeth, he answered. "The girl."

Spleenk blinked. "Um, what, sir?"

Lard Nar muttered to himself, half at Spleenk, half for his own benefit. "Obviously, they were important enough to defend…six months and we didn't… I guess I have Smack to thank for the bugging."

"…Do you want to attack the humans?"

Nar blinked up at him, slightly surprised. Spleenk usually never caught on this quickly. "Just about. But there are four of them. I need just one."

"One? But what about the rest of—?"

"Goodbye, Spleenk. It was nice talking with you." Nar pressed the button again and the surface slid shut between he and the bridge worker.

Now he needed a plan of action.

* * *

_Pros._

_Cons._

The hall was too quiet. There was no music from Ruza's side, none of the boys' exclamations. It was too quiet.

_Pros._

_Cons._

Mind fried, emotions shot, coherency questionable at this point, I continued to toss the possibilities around in my head.

My people, and my good friends.

Six months of waiting for this moment, and it would have been so much easier to decide if we'd just left at the beginning…but the thought ached. What made it even harder was the finality. The thought of never seeing one side again.

What made it the hardest was we were divided at this point—the four of us. So now, I wasn't only leaving the _Massive_ crew…I was leaving some of our party…or, _they_ were leaving _me_…

It was all so confusing.

_Pros…_

_Cons…_

Amidst the panicked angst in my chest, I managed to drift into unconsciousness, curled on the couch, people's voices running through my head.

* * *

"Ruza—" The redhead's sobs and rants prevented Dib from getting anything in other than her name. Dib sighed. "You're not making this easier for me."

"I'm not listening to _anything _you have to say!"

A stapler flew toward him. He ducked, frowning. "Give me a chance to explain." It wasn't easy seeing her like this, especially when he already knew her decision.

"_You're not leaving!"_ She insisted.

"Ruza—"

"Shut up, Dib!"

Dib dodged the projectiles, sitting back and crossing his arms to wait out the storm. After Ruza's rationalizing abilities returned, she'd stopped crying and simply glared heatedly at him. _…Oi, if looks… _"Ruse, you of all have to know the Earth needs me!"

"_I _need you!"

Dib's voice didn't seem to be working right. Breathing was suddenly a more difficult task. "You know," he said deliberately, "that you can leave anytime you like."

"I don't want to leave them; and I don't want to leave you."

"I'm trying, okay? This may be our last opportunity for who-knows-how long. If we don't take it…"

"What about me?" Ruza asked. "You leaving is like _him _leaving! How am I supposed—?"

"You have everyone else!"

"But you're my brother!"

Dib held her eye. "Then come with me."

Ruza's tone was softer when she spoke next. "You're asking me to choose…but I don't want to lose you."

He scoffed lightly. "You know if I had to choose one person it'd be you in a heartbeat." She knew it, but saying the words didn't make him any less frustrated. "But I can't make your decision for you."

"The Irkens…are my first family. How can I just…leave?!"

Dib nodded slowly. "…You need to stay. Earth isn't your home. You know that."

Ruza dragged an arm across her eyes. "…Will you ever come back?" Her voice was coarse, strained.

Without a word, he crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her. "If there's a way, I'll find it."

"How?"

"I don't know yet."

She sighed.

"But you have to promise me something."

"Hm?"

He grinned down at her. "Keep the Tallest in line, okay?"

Her eyes were a little watery, but she managed a smile. "Mission accepted."

* * *

Bacon, Nar thought, was the best brainstorming food of all time. As the TV droned before him, he crunched on his fourth slice, poring over a desk of papers. Not even the full wastebasket deterred him now.

"_Zerus winds are still holding steady at seven hundred miles an hour. Additionally, Callnowia should see some increased rainfall. That's it for tonight's meaningless weather forecast. Goodnight, everybody." _

Lard Nar perused the paper in front of him, taking in the small list. …_Tasers? ...Drowning?_

"_And now we bring you an update from Jagger, from the Master of Ceremonies, Ichabod!" _Lard Nar looked up. The reporter stood with a blue-skinned male whose physical features imitated the exterior of a diamond. Since the tournament had ended a century ago, seeing Jaggerions on the news or out in public was rare. He was aware some of them trained on Hobo 13, occasionally—but this was no ordinary Jaggerion. "_The Master of Ceremonies for this year, and the designer of the newest tournament half of Jagger, is here with us tonight. Ichabod, many fans are asking as to the Reinstatement—what would you say your motivation was?" _

The Jaggerion spoke. "_We're well aware of the public sentiment, but seeing as we're in desperate need of funds, this is the only way Jagger sees fit to rectify the state of our financial affairs." _

_"The tournament does garner a hell of income. I can see why that makes sense. What do you have to say to those who would question the morality of your decision?" _

The grin on the host's face made Nar waver in his thoughts toward the entire exchange. "_…It's our tournament—it's our source of income; and we can reinstate it whenever we want."_

Lard Nar's eyes narrowed. He liked to think even _he _wasn't that annoyingly stubborn.

"_Yes, well…__another question we have, Ichabod: If everything goes according to plan, how soon can we expect the next Transportation?"_

"_As you know—anybody who MATTERS—the Transportation can be one of the most memorable aspects of the tournament! By our estimation, Jagger will be ready for Transportation in no more than four months. Exciting stuff."_

"Very _interesting…I just have one final question, Ichabod;__ and it's actually not why your name is so outrageously outrageous. Viewers want to know: what's the contestant limit this year?"_

"_I'm glad you asked. We need as many sponsorships and other donations as possible—so that means there _is_ no limit this year! As long as contestants are Transported to our facilities in one piece, they're guaranteed a slot. __Once again: Bring. Anybody."_

Lard Nar allowed his stylus to fall onto the desk as he watched the screen.

"_Thanks, Ichabod—geez, that's one heck of a name. Stay tuned for more updates as that momentous day approaches. And now, over to the top story from Paetin for the night…" _

Lard Nar was calling the number before he knew what he was thinking.

When the Jaggerion picked up, Lard Nar recognized the scenery of the contestant registration building behind him. "_What do you want?"_ The figure snapped.

"I have a proposition for your Master of Ceremonies."

_"Well, make it snappy."_ Lard Nar balked a little at the flippancy with which his call was being dealt.

"This is something I trust he'll find…interesting…so if you could be so kind as to put him on," Nar prodded.

"_How_ many times have I heard _that_ one?" The worker rolled his eyes. "Look, I take all pitches and random publicity garbage sent his way. That news report just made more people want to reserve their spots, so if you could—"

"I have a new species."

That seemed to garner at least _some_ attention. The attendant intently studied him. "…I'm listening."

* * *

_(Massive)_

There was something in the way Dib approached the table that made Purple uneasy. His entire table fell silent as the human reached them. Red had gone off somewhere to look for Hannah.

"Okay, I don't want any rumors going around," Dib began, "so I'm here to make things clear." Others who weren't at the elite table crowded to listen. "I realize not everything is as black and white as I once thought…moving here permanently was a huge step…for me especially." His eyes found the floor.

Purple sensed his choice just by the word "was," and wondered why he felt as let down in that moment as he did. Surely he couldn't have grown _that_ attached to these humans…right?

"I've learned so much out here…and it's going to be hard to go back; but Earth needs me. They may not listen to everything I have to say about all of this, but…" Everyone else was silent. "I want to go back and do my best."

Dib met their eyes. Purple understood his position, but that didn't mean he wasn't sad for some inexplicable reason at the teen's decision. They listened, they talked after that…but it was still weird to think they'd be a human shorter in a matter of hours.

* * *

"We could call your dad," Dwicky said. We were seated on a lounge couch. The remainder of the area was pretty empty.

"I know." I sighed. "But he'll just want me to come home. Like he always does."

I'd made a tentative decision, but my resolve wavered with every second. Anybody I talked to, or thought about talking to, could have been a potential deal-sealer. I didn't want that kind of pressure, and so, I'd isolated Dwicky as my semi-neutral companion, and shut off my communicator to the rest of the world—this had been especially satisfying after it'd started ringing incessantly the night before. I knew I'd have to overcome my anxiety and tell people eventually; however, for now, I relished the opportunity to speak my mind without pressure.

"I know I'll be able to talk to whichever world I leave…" As I spoke, I stared at the window in front of us. Speckled black. "It's not like I'll never talk to them again…but they're both my _family_."

Dwicky stared silently out the window as well for a few seconds. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. "Think of it as a temporary decision." He met my eyes. "Would it make it any easier?"

"Of course." My tone held a slight scoff. The pros and cons list was long in my head. The idea of spending my life in _either, or…_made my decision difficult to accept.

"You know, don't you?" He was studying me.

Despite myself, I nodded. We sat in silence for a while, absorbing the implications, before the door to the lounge slid open, and someone spoke. "Hannah." At the sound of Red's voice, Dwicky and I jumped, and turned to find him in the room.

His shoulders were tense, hands not quite fists, but close. Narrow eyes watched us. Red stared at us with a grimace. _Oh no. My communicator._

"I'll, uh…" Dwicky was off the couch in a flash, heading toward the door. "…let you two have a moment." He almost slunk around Red to the door, through it, and it closed behind him.

I watched Red, forming my words carefully. "…I felt like I needed…some time to think."

"Oh," Red nodded, tone soaked in sarcasm. "That's what that was? _Alone_ time?!"

"I was alone. He found me."

Red simply stared back. For the longest, time, we watched each other. Then, "Dib's missing out."

I stared back. "What?" Dib's and Ruza's decisions, broadcast earlier in the day, had been another source of frustration for me—more division.

"You've told me Earth doesn't have nearly as much as we do." His expression was unreadable.

"…You mean you're more advanced?"

He scoffed. "Think about everything you have here that you didn't have there—the knowledge you've acquired. The experience." _I have a room smaller than my Earth home's, I learned everything from you, and I've experienced a lot of bad things, too…_ "Why would you want to go back?" Red looked agitated—his volume rose. "I mean, what's so great about it, anyway?!"

I gaped back. "It's my _home_!" I couldn't believe how unreasonable he was being.

He moved toward me, nodding, though the couch still separated us. "And you're just going to hijack a Voot and go looking for it in the middle of _this_?! That's stupid! What if the rebels attack it again?"

I gaped. "…Red!"

"They will! I _know_ them, Hannah! Even after all this time, you've really only been exposed to the universe for a year. I've dealt with these insane races for almost two hundred!" I stared silently back at him. "I'm not about to let you go be killed! That's crazy!"

"What if Irk had been in danger the way Earth was?" My expression and tone were pointed. "Wouldn't you have gone back?"

Red's deep breath was obviously an attempt to control his temper. "If it was in danger, I wouldn't go back!" He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "…You told me once I was a good teacher. Do you remember that?" Red was still staring at me. Yes, I did remember. Our first drive…more leverage—more memories. The Tallest's tone softened a bit. "You trust me."

It wasn't a question, and that angered me some. "Of course…but if this really is—"

"Stop," Red groaned, moving his head, with his eyes, toward the ceiling. His volume rose again. "Just stop this insane idea and listen to me!"

"You're not all-knowing, Red!" I called back. "You don't know _anything_ about Earth! You think we're worthless, but we're _not_! If you saw the surface, walked the streets, talked to people, even look at the plants up close, you'd see—"

"You've shown me pictures. They weren't that impressive."

I could barely even register his words. "…I can't believe you!" This time I really did scream.

Red stared me down, both of us directly across the couch now. "When they trained us to give public addresses before we became Tallest, they told us words matter—each word. Did your words matter two days ago, Hannah?"

_He's accusing _me?! "Excuse you, _you're _the one who shoved me onto the freaking _floor_!" Emotion began welling up in me.

"Shut up." Red's tone was disgusted. Disgusting.

"If you're trying to get me to stay here," I almost foamed at the mouth, "then you're sure fooling me!"

"Hey!" He threw his arms wide. "Guess what?! I love you!"

I absorbed his words for a few seconds, tried to stifle the emotions, and put my hands on my hips. "Wow." I kept my tone steady. "That was almost as bad as my timing."

"_Yes!_ Yes it was!" For some reason, I felt like laughing. "Do you want to do that?" Red shook his head slightly. "_This?_"

"Yes." A thrill ran through me. "But…you can't use it to manipulate me—love doesn't work like that."

"But it means you can't leave now."

That was almost endearingly naïve—almost enough to end my anger towards him. Almost. "But it's my decision," I insisted.

Red frowned. "But you _just said_…"

"…Red…" I faltered, trying to come up with a proper explanation.

"You're right," Red said. I studied him from across the couch. His face had lost that hard edge—he looked genuine. "Your world…your people…they're all important…I can't force you to stay here." …_Well. That was easier than expected._ I released a deep breath, gearing myself up to say something. "But I _don't_ want you to leave." His tone then was so much softer that my gaze was drawn to his face, and I didn't look away.

"…Neither do I." Sentiment for Red washed over me as we held each other's gazes across the piece of furniture. The word was even annoying to me as I spoke it yet again. "But…"

When Red leaned forward, arms on the couch, it wasn't any longer confrontational. His gaze wasn't challenging. In fact, it was intimate. "_Please don't leave."_

Well great, because now I was tearing up. _Defense_. "I…I've already made my decision—"

"Hannah." I exhaled noisily, looking off to the side to avoid his gaze. I was getting choked up again, dang it. "I can't imagine living without you."

The emotion was overwhelming. I commanded myself not to let the tears slip down my cheeks. _Hold it in.. _I found my voice long enough to reply. "I haven't even told you what it is yet."

"_Red," _Red's communicator sounded again, with Purple's voice, "_any chance you could come help with some paperwork? Kinda important. _Oh, _and there are _curly fries!_ Yumm!" _

Red exhaled miserably, cutting the connection and glaring at the wall.

Both of us stood there, four feet apart, unable to say anything. When Red's voice came out, it was little more than a mutter. "We'll talk later." I almost didn't understand him; but then I knew, and I knew that he knew, that there _was_ no later. He was giving me more agonizing time. When he hovered towards the door, I softly called his name, but he left anyway, the cold metal shutting behind him.

I guessed I was supposed to wait until the morning of…

Great.

* * *

"Earth, Dib!" Dwicky heaved a suitcase into the back of a Voot Cruiser. "How much stuff did you pack?!"

The teen waved. "Just the necessities: a year's worth of _Crazy Spooky_ Magazine, all my socks, my four trench coats, my X-Scope, four days worth of peanuts, and…" He held up a razor and frowned at it. "Huh. Dunno how that got—"

"That's mine." Dwicky snatched it away. "You're not even old enough to use one of those."

"Did you tell them yet?" Dib asked.

"…No." Dwicky frowned. "I'm waiting until breakfast."

"You know, the people in the medical ward are going to miss you."

"I know. I just have to tell them that Earth needs me more."

"Are you going back to your old job?"

"I don't know, exactly," Dwicky said. "But whatever it is, it'll be more impactful than my work here. I just want what we have in our group to be what every other kid has."

"…You mean without the space hijacking, aliens warring, traumatizing parts, right?"

"…Right."

My hand rested on the bottom of the trapdoor. I inhaled. Gathering my resolve, I pushed upwards. The door swung open. Careful not to make noise, I walked into open space, eased the door shut behind me, and stood.

Almost right off, I spotted Red at the far railing, facing away from me. Anticipation building, I made myself walk toward him.

_How will he react?_..._Just walk…_

I slowed as I drew nearer. He heard my footsteps and turned, regarding me with a surprised expression that quickly grew apprehensive.

"Hi." My voice came out quietly. I stepped up to the rail, beside him. The air felt heavy. Red didn't say anything. I could feel his eyes on me, and knew I needed to speak first. _Deep breath. Tell him. _"…I heard the Vortian Armada headed off." _GREAT job, Hannah. _He said nothing. "At least now we might consider the Jackers a potential ally." I could see Red staring at me out of the corner of my eye. "But sometimes they can be hard to work with, I hear—"

Red sighed, grabbed my shoulder, and turned me towards him. Reluctantly, I stared into his eyes. They demanded an answer.

It was difficult not to smile. "…So it's good I'll be around to keep them in li—"

Red trapped me in a suffocating embrace. "…Irk." After the initial shock, I giggled, not minding the lack of oxygen. "Never do that again!"

"Deal." I laughed.

It was a few seconds until Red pulled back to meet my eyes. "You're leaving Earth behind."

I inhaled and exhaled. "It'll be there. I'll get there someday. It…I didn't think it would be this clear to me, but…I never want to leave you guys. Not for the long run." My eyes shifted from him to the space to my right, the railing, and the floor. "I do want to see my father again…but it's been so long…and I never had friends as close as everyone here, for whatever reason. Losing Dib and Dwicky will be hard…but I don't want to leave."

When I looked back up at Red, his smile was warm. The Tallest drew me into a hug.

Purple's voice filled the air, via Red's communicator. _"Hey! Do you know where our peanuts are? I think Dib stole them! I looked in the storage pods—we've only got one month's supply, that's all! What if we don't get—?"_

"For the love of Irk, Purple, _shut up_!" Red pressed the button as I stifled a chuckle. We shared an understanding look and he rolled his eyes. Soon, I found myself back in his arms, gazing at the stars. _I'm going to survive this day after all. _Despite the looming dread, I was going to survive.

* * *

Activity on the Launching Deck was dwindling when the Tallest and we four humans went down to see off Dib and Dwicky's ship. Despite the lack of activity, I still felt overwhelmed enough that it set me off. I was walking close to Ruza and Dib, who seemed to be against talking until they absolutely had to—they weren't fighting, but they just didn't want to break the silence. Dwicky was talking about some medical experiment or something, obviously trying to fill the silence. When we reached the Voot Cruiser, he wrapped up his story and we just stared at the ship for a while.

"Come here." Dib motioned to Ruza and the two of them walked off to the side.

I turned to Dwicky. "You'll have to tell Melvin and Zita and Brian to behave while I'm gone."

Dwicky rolled his eyes. "They're probably already dead by now. Bitters probably killed them all."

"Oh?" I grinned. "Did she return from the beach?"

He scoffed. "I don't know."

"Oh." I laughed. "…So…what are you going to do?"

"…Same basic thing. Maybe somewhere else. I figure I can be of more help."

I nodded. "That's probably true." For a moment, I wondered if I would be of more help on Earth as well, but then pushed that thought from my mind.

"Are you guys gonna be able to handle this one without me?" He asked the Tallest.

I gaped at him. "Excuse you."

Purple chuckled. "I don't know—she tends to get into trouble."

"Like what?" I demanded.

"Like not doing your work on time."

"Oh," I chuckled, "don't you _even_ go there!"

All four of us were laughing as Dib and Ruza returned to the circle. Ruza looked the most emotional.

"You okay?" Purple asked her casually.

"Yeah." Ruza was obviously trying to keep a rein on herself. Her eyes were slightly red. "Yeah."

"My turn with the youngest one," Dwicky walked over to her, smiling as she took the bait and griped about Dib being the youngest. I cleared my throat loudly, so Dwicky turned, and pointedly held out my arms. "Oh," he grinned. "I haven't really finished with you yet, have I?"

"Nope," I said as he scooped me into his arms. Dwicky and I held each other for a good ten seconds before he stepped back. "…Oh." He turned and faced the Tallest, stalked right up to Red, shoved a finger in his face, and hissed, _"And if you shoot her out an airlock I swear I will end you." _

Red's lips parted slightly at this; but he didn't say anything. Dwicky looked satisfied and withdrew. Purple chuckled beside his co-ruler.

"Ruza!" Dwicky sauntered over to her again, and I faced Dib to find him already looking at me.

"…Hey," I managed.

He smirked. "Are you glad we chased after Zim instead of letting him destroy the city?"

I stared back thoughtfully, reviewing all the consequences that had come from one day, and then smiled back. "I'll get back to you on that one."

"Don't destroy anything."

I scoffed. "Do I look like the kind of person who'd be the one to destroy _anything_?"

Dib shrugged. "You never know. I didn't take you for the space-traveling kind at first, either."

"I thought you'd be dead by now after living with these people for so long."

"You couldn't even teach physics."

I put my hands on my hips. "You couldn't even unplug the Gigadoomer right!"

"You wouldn't even stop screaming long enough for me to think straight!"

"You said you had a plan."

"Forty. Story. Robot."

"All right!" Ruza broke in, looking a little more collected. "Enough, you two. For the love of everything calm and peaceful! Gah."

Dib rolled his eyes as I stifled laughter.

Dib and I's hug was briefer, and before I knew it the boys were saying goodbye to the Tallest and getting ready to board the ship. The suitcases were already loaded, so the only thing left was for them to get inside the thing.

"Well," Ruza said. "…I guess we'll see you guys later."

Dwicky and Dib wore slightly downcast expression for once, as they stared back at us.

"You girls stay safe," Dwicky said.

"We will," Ruza replied.

I spoke up. "Let me know how Earth is doing, Dib."

Dwicky scratched the back of his neck. "What should I tell your father?"

I stared back, took a deep breath, and sighed. "…Tell him…tell him…I'm under the Irkens' protection." A quick glance at the Tallest brought me a few nods. "He won't like it; but…yeah."

Dwicky nodded.

"I never thought I'd be saying this." Dib faced the Tallest. "Good luck in the war."

"You're just lucky," I said, "that Zim isn't here to hear you say that."

Dib's eyes grew. Ruza and I chuckled.

"Come on." Dwicky motioned to Dib, who walked over to him by the ship.

Then, there was this moment when we just stared at them. Dwicky seemed to be waiting for any more potential words—any last minute _waits_.After a few seconds, he nodded to us, the two of them climbed in the ship, and that was the last I saw of them in person.

Ruza and I stepped back as the ship left the hangar. It was difficult to accurately describe my emotions as she leaned into me, as the Tallest conversed quietly behind us; but if I was going to give it a shot, I'd have said I felt something like a mix of nostalgic longing and an assuredness about where I was right then.

I didn't regret my choice.


	20. T Minus 15 Seconds

"Dib, trying to watch the news, buddy."

Dib was currently rambling, his face against the window, as it had been for the past half hour. Facts Dwicky hadn't even known about the Earth spouted from his mouth. In the beginning, Dwicky had encouraged his enthusiasm—found it cute. Now, though, with knowledge of a new battle, Dwicky was more concerned with finding news coverage.

"We're finally gonna make it home! Just think, they might believe in aliens now!...Just imagine the looks on their faces when we…but you've done this before! Earth, with it's crazy, wonderful people, overpriced sodas, and scary teachers…some of whom I'm not sure are actually completely human…but it doesn't matter! Ahh..."

Dwicky removed a hand from the chip bag in his lap and placed it over Dib's mouth. "News. Watchin'. Don't worry, it ain't going anywhere." He removed his hand, dug into the bag, and crunched on another chip.

"Just think! Waterfalls, Earth magazines, Saturday morning cartoons…President Man might have ended his term—and—and Earth won't be the same at all—"

"_News_."

Reluctantly, Dib sat and stared at the screen. "…Any updates?"

"None I've been able to _focus _on."

A ringing filled the cabin and Dib studied the screen. "_Massive's_ calling."

"Finally." Dwicky pressed the _Receive_ button. "Helloooooo. We were waitin' for you to call. How's it goin'?"

"_Well,_" Purple rubbed his neck, "_it's worse than before…and this time, the fighting's spilled onto Callnowia's surface."_

"…Wasn't it just Grax? Didn't they just want to cut off your resources?"

"Yeah," Red said, "but the battle was too big for one moon. Hence the chaos."

"_Hey, guys!"_

Dwicky followed the sound of the voices and saw the girls in two technicians' seats. He grinned. "What's up, you two?"

Dib smiled, too. "Studying?"

"_You know it_!" Ruza nodded. "_Miss you guys."_

"The feeling's mutual." Dwicky turned his attention to the Tallest. "Any unusual fatalities? Is Lard Nar at the top of his game?"

"_Eh…I don't know about that,_" Purple replied. "_But we're definitely not in the situation we want to be." _

"_And Zim and Tenn never called us back,"_ Red said.

Dwicky smirked. "That menace? I'm sure he and Tenn are sitting having a nice lunch on a nearby moon somewhere—aren't they supposed to be back with you all by now?"

Purple scoffed. "_Try two weeks ago."_

* * *

I struggled to think of the answer to Ruza's quiz question as I listened to the transmission. _Stupid… economy…questions! "_Food?"

"No," Ruza responded.

I sighed, dramatically flung myself back in my chair, and cried, "_Why?_" No one really took much notice.

"Try again," Ruza said. "You have to move on to the internal affairs."

"The main export of Meekrob is…" _Why does this have to be so hard!_ Once, I'd thought learning Earth's history alone was bad. "Weaponry? Tech?"

"Both. Those are the top two."

"Sweet!"

"Okay, now quiz me over the government again."

"…Not sweet. How many more hours do we have to go?" It was degradingly boring to feel useless during the biggest battle of the war. The odds were as even as they'd ever been. Our numbers were dwindling.

Ruza's tone sounded determined. "As many as we need before Monday. You want to get registered, don't you?"

"Of course I do…how does that work again?"

She gazed at me. "I told you: Dib and I totally cleared it with the Brains. They were so impressed with us, they allowed the registration test to be standardized for us. Citizens!" She sang the last word. "Now, quiz me over Meekrob government."

"Yeah," I rolled my eyes slightly. "That's what happened."

"…Hannah, I'm told you, we talked to them! Don't call me a liar!"

"Okay." I sighed. "What's the second-in-command in the Meekrob government?"

"…Vice president?"

"No—it's not a presidency." I'd told her that at least twice already.

"Dang."

"Ruza!" Purple called. "I need a drink!"

"…Kay." She closed her book. I was grateful we were finally going to be doing something besides studying.

"I'll go with you." We exited the Control Room, the cacophony dying as the door shut behind us.

"…Ahh. Much better."

"I'll say. Let's just order it from the lounge tube. It would be stupid to…" My wrist vibrated. I looked down at the screen. "…Oh. Incoming transmission…from…_no way_."

She grabbed my arm. "Who?"

I grinned. "Zim."

Her eyes widened as she saw the I.D. "_Zim_?!"

"Yeah!"

"Answer it!"

"Kay!" I pressed _Receive_ and waited a moment. Zim appeared. Ruza and I squealed with excitement.

"Zim!"

"Hey!"

"_Yes, I am Zim!" _He was sitting before a console of some sort, but he looked more serious than normal…if Zim had a normal. "_Tenn and I require your assistance."_

Ruza's smile dropped. "What's wrong?"

"Why does everyone call _me_ for help?" I said.

"_The main line has been busy for eight hours,"_ Zim said.

"Figures," I said.

"_We've recovered Mars and Mercury—"_

"Serious?"

"No way!"

_"Yes, it's very exciting," _he waved. "_But the systems are damaged from Dib's and I's fight. The interface won't respond to any commands of ours."_

I asked, "Is that the Martian head you talked about earlier?"

"Yes." Zim's eyes narrowed. "And it won't respond to anything—look." He pressed a button moved the camera so we could see the glowing, green hologram that shimmered into visibility, smiling. "_Welcome, pilot! How ya doin'_?"

Zim spoke from off-camera. "_The last four days, no matter what we yell…"_ The head fizzled out. _"…it disappears."_

"Does it say anything else?" Ruza asked.

Zim turned the camera. "_We've been trying to deploy the weapons, since we're close to the battle."_

"You are?"

"How close?"

"_Pay attention_!"

"Sorry."

"_Close enough to need the weapons,"_ He glared at the console again. "_But to break the security protocol, the evil, green, meat thing ordered us to answer a series of horrible questions."_

"Questions?" I asked.

_"Yes, questions," _he frowned. "_To prove we're 'residents of the Milky Way Galaxy'... or some other nonsense."_

"So, you need our help?" Ruza said.

Zim continued talking. "_Tenn's having problems on Mercury. The interface keeps asking her what the capital of Albania is."_

He pressed a button and a frazzled female voice came over the line. "…_Stupid…Irk!"_

"That's the kind of questions it's asking you?" I frowned.

"Yeah," Ruza said, "I don't know the capital of Albania."

Static. We lost audio, and then visual. My communicator reverted to its original screen.

"…Huh. That's weird," I said.

"Maybe there was some interference."

.We waited a full minute in the hallway before Zim's I.D. popped onto the screen again.

"_Pay attention!"_ He yelled through the static. "_The interface thinks calling others is 'cheating'!" _

I scoffed.

Ruza leaned closer. "What do we—?"

Static. Zim fizzled out again. We groaned.

"...This isn't working!" Ruza said.

"What if he called the main line? Or Dib?" I asked. "…Wait, no. That won't help. It won't let him call anyone."

"Come on," she grabbed my arm and made her way back towards the door. "Let's tell the Tallest."

Panic. "Wait!" I held her back. "Think for a second!...It won't let them call _anyone_."

"So…somebody has to get to them?!"

I nodded slowly. "…And not just anyone."

"…Us?" Tense silence filled the passage. "_We_ have to go?!"

I stared back, equally incredulous.

"Hannah, that's crazy_! _C-couldn't they use the information in the _Massive's_ databases?"

"I doubt the interface will let them receive that information…"

"Ohh, this is so stupid!" She stomped her foot.

"I know!"

Another transmission popped up. I pressed _Receive_.

"_I'm sending you my coordinates!"_ Zim had to shout.

Ruza shouted too. "Kay!"

Reality hit me. "Uh…how soon do we need to be out there?" I still hadn't fully accepted our decision.

"_Thirty minutes_!"

_Oh my gosh._

Tenn's voice came over the line. "_Zim! It locked me out…help…fix the…a…"_

Zim cast us one last pleading look before the connection died. Ruza and I exchanged glances.

"…What in the world are we doing?!" I said. "They're not going to let us off the _Massive_!"

"They probably won't send someone to help Zim, either…and whoever it would be wouldn't know anything, anyway."

I thought hard. We'd just gotten through the boys' departure, and now, this. One thing was for sure: the Tallest couldn't know we'd left. They'd never let us.

"So…we're the only ones who can help them."

"Yeah," Ruza said quietly.

"And right in the middle of a the hugest battle yet."

"Come on." Ruza started walking down the hall, away from Control.

I sighed and followed her. Somehow, I hoped we could get to Zim. Based on what I'd heard over the Tallest's transmissions, things could be going better. We needed the planets, and we needed them soon.

* * *

The Launching Deck bustled, and it proved easy to move around unnoticed. The episode with Dwicky and Dib had been quieter than this: the chaos stressed me out more than I already had been.

"We have to find one nobody owns," Ruza said.

Frenzied butterflies swarmed in my stomach. Ruza couldn't drive. I would have to maneuver us…alone. We pushed through Irkens, catching a few suspicious glares, although nobody had the time to give us more. I checked my laser. "…Fifteen minutes."

"Crap."

The laser vibrated. I looked down to see an incoming call from the bridge.

"Hey, turn that off."

"Oh, yeah." That could impede our escape. "…This is crazy."

"I know. Let's find a ship."

There were some empty terminals. We approached the end of the terminal and I saw a rinky-dink cruiser in the second-to-last one. It looked pretty beat up, but the screen corresponding to it on the wall before the terminal didn't have anything on it. _Perfect._

A sudden wave of reluctance seized me. "I don't know if…"

"Come on," she demanded. I could no longer tell time with the blackened screen on my wrist. We had to leave _now._

I rushed to her side. A robotic voice destroyed the silence and almost stopped my heart. A thin, wiry arm darted down before us.

_Irken regulation requires every deporting passenger during defined combat to take a breathing apparatus on board with him or her. This common safety precaution ensures prevention of suffocation. Everyone should know about it._

"…Oh."

Ruza walked over to the arm, grabbed one of two small metal hooks—or, at least what looked like hooks. "Um, do you have any that aren't designed for PAKs?"

".._Processing_." The computer wasn't thrilled; but it retracted, returned with two circular hoops obviously meant for our necks, and said, "_Place them around your neck. And don't blow up any vital breathing apparatus."_

"Thanks." I nodded as we walked to the ship.

We climbed inside and shut the door. The ship wasn't a regular cruiser, but the size was nowhere near Red's. She and I sat in the front seat. Silence overtook the cabin as we stared at the black expanse.

"Where's Callnowia?" Ruza's voice was quiet.

"I think it's on the other side of the _Massive_…"

"…Okay."

I took a deep breath, head spinning. I would have said my next action was a result of pure instinct, because I could not think of a better word for the force that moved my hand towards a certain button on the consol. Finger resting atop it, I paused and turned to Ruza. "Are we sure_?_"

"Yes. Go. Do it." I pressed it. "Before we have time to—" The cabin shook. "Oh my gosh!"

"Ahh…Ruza!"

"Just, just go!" She waved. "I don't know how to control…go."

I groaned, pressing what I hoped to be the button releasing the ship from the dock. At first, nothing shifted, and I thought I'd been wrong.

Then, a sliding noise—like metal against metal—and we slid onward.

"Hannah!"

"I know, I know—you told me to do it."

My heart beat faster and faster. I hoped it would stop—that the emergency brakes would kick in for some reason—but we kept sliding forward as the engines rumbled and the steering stick vibrated lightly under my grip. The last bit of metal finally slid off the dock, and we were floating in the cold, black canopy with no oxygen. My terror mounted to entirely new levels.

"_We're flying!"_

"I know!...I know."

"What do we do?"

Despite my fear, I made my voice firm. "Find Zim. We have to get to he and Tenn, and those weapons."

"Good, now drive!" It came out as a yelp.

"Right." It was good we weren't yet in the fighting. A few Irkens flew past, toward Callnowia, which lay on the other side of the _Massive_. "Here goes nothing."

_We could die…_

* * *

"What are you doing?!"

"Uh—ah! Turn up to go…up…! _Dang it_!"

"Turn left!"

"We're not even in the heated zone yet."

I barely had control of the Voot, my stress was high, and we were alone, about a mile out from the fighting.

"Pull up—you're gonna run into that one!"

A sickening, metallic grinding filled the cabin. I managed to direct us back up.

"This is not going well!" I said.

"It's okay," Ruza took a measured gulp of air. "We have…ten minutes. Just focus. I'll find Zim and Tenn."

"…No problem." I exhaled, trying to remain calm. The many ships around us were preoccupied with heading for Callnowia. The Irken we'd hit pulled ahead and offered us an annoyed glare. Eye contact. He gawked at us before turning around and proceeding. I hoped he wouldn't have time or initiative to call the _Massive._

"I've got a lock. Are you okay?"

"…Yeah," I said. "I just… My mind flew to Red's driving instructions…those rules… "I just have to experiment a little." It had taken time, but I'd learned by watching. Only now, I had to drive under immense pressure.

"You've got this," Ruza said. "Just go by your instincts."

"Last time," I said, "my instincts sent us into twenty different nose-dives."

"Well, we can't afford to do that here…" She looked at the ship's little screen. "Awesome! They're less than ten away!"

"Can you see them?" I scoured space for the planets, but couldn't see anything other than Callnowia and all the ships.

"Uh…no…wait, there!"

I tore my gaze from the front and followed her finger to two distant, faint circles, one barely visible, but both definitely there. "…_That's_ _them_?" They were on the other side of Callnowia, so we'd have to drive through the battle's heart.

"Yeah, all we have to…oh_._"

"I hope Purple's not waiting on that drink." I attempted to stifle my rising hysteria. What had we thrown ourselves into? I was responsible for Ruza's life, and with this fighting I didn't see how we were going to…

"…Just focus on flying. _Really _focus."

"Can do."

"Do you know if this thing has hyper drive? Or, at least, goes faster?"

_...Rule four. _Boosters had been four, but I'd hit the wrong one and sent us somersaulting backwards. No time for that now. "…It's this button." I guessed, and our ship lurched forward, picking up speed at a rate that made my spirits soar.

"Yes!" Ruza whooped, and clapped me on the shoulder. "Good job, captain!"

_Whoa…way to cut it close there, "captain"—the wrong button could have wrecked this entire formation!_

"Look out, though." Ruza pointed forward. "We're getting closer to the fighting."

"…Ruza…" I turned to her, meaning to say something I knew I wouldn't be able to voice in a few moments…something to convey what she meant to me.

Ruza met my eyes. Her tone was affectionate. "…I know. Drive."

I forced a half-confident smile, nodded, inhaled, and gripped the stick. Ready or not, we'd decided to do this. We would continue.

* * *

"Fifteen thousand fatalities?" Lard Nar stared. "…Well, most of them are theirs…right?" The questioned rebel nodded obligatorily. "…We've got a call over line 256." A panel of bulbs on the Bridge lit, signaling a call from one of the rebel ships. "Report."

"_Sir, I don't mean to spur orders, but we've been out here for fourteen hours, and my subordinates are becoming tired…we need a break, sir."_ The tone was hesitant but slightly firm.

Lard Nar blinked. "…Who gave you this number?"

_"…I…you?"_

"How dare you call my Bridge with that ridiculous bout of nonsense!"

_"…Sir…"_

"Call back when you get your guts inside your carcass, soldier. Do you know how many decades we've waited for this opportunity?! You and your team will get your R&R when it suits me, which might be never! How fatigued do you think the Irken slave worlds are feeling right about now? Huh?! Hang up the Vort-damned phone and get back to work. Your army needs you!"

_"…Yes sir."_

"And if you all have any more complaints at all—you're thirsty, you need a Foodcourtia combo, or maybe a blanket—you imbecile—just make sure to never call my line again. Understand?"

_"Yes, Lard Nar, sir!"_

Nar slammed _End _and began to stalk the Bridge. Repulsive, these attitudes surrounding him. This was what they'd waited for all along, and now…_now_ the subordinates decided they felt tired? Did a runner choose the last hundred meters to complain about fatigue? _No!_

"Sir—call on 34."

Lard Nar reminded himself to not dream too radically about tomorrow. _Literally, now, tomorrow. Stay grounded in the present._ He crossed the Bridge, hit the button for the bulb, and said, "Soldier, report. And if any of you complain about fatigue again, I swear, I'm going to disconnect this entire help line and leave you on your own!"

_"Sir, the aerial situation is no longer in our favor." _

Suspicion. Nar frowned. "Who is this?"

_"Admiral Schlopa, sir. I'm Schloontapooxis' father."_

"Ah, yes, hello. Thank you for leaving your son here to torment me." The triangular male sipped a soda, took a bite of pizza, and nodding eagerly at Nar. "…He's quite the helpful companion. It's not everyday you find someone who can press a button."

_"…Glad to hear it, sir."_

Nar rolled his eyes. "Can you turn the tide around for us? It would greatly benefit both your job _and_ the organization."

"Sir, we're doing our be—_agh!._..we're doing our best. They have a newer formation we're not as familiar with…agh_!_"

Nar leaned an arm on the console, staring dazedly into the metal. "Everything all right, there, admiral?"

_"…Yeah…just gotta wipe out these bothersome rogue tagalongs."_

Nar slightly rose on one elbow, tone flat. "…What do you mean, _'rogue tagalongs_?'"

The admiral sighed harshly. "_Oh, some little brats they must've recruited. I haven't been on board long enough to get caught up with the Irkens' movements, but these hitchhikers are ugly little things, I'll tell you that. Can't fly to save their lives." _Nar felt his eyes widen. He stared blankly at the wall before him_. "Sir? Would you like to try a new formation? We could—"_

Nar's eyes rose to the rest of the room. "Get me someone." Nar pushed himself up and bolted across the Bridge. "Get someone on this right now! I want a team _this instant_!"

* * *

"Don't—ahhh…Pull up!"

"I'm try—Ruza, shut up!" I complained. It was taking every ounce of concentration not to crash into another ship. The battle was a tornado. I could barely avoid a barrage from the enemy without tearing into one of the Irken ships, either with bullets or our ship. My nerves were frayed: one wrong turn of the joystick, and we'd spin into something else and explode. "Why on Earth did we do this?!"

"_Turn left_!"

We screamed as we narrowly avoided hitting a great rebel ship.

Before I could start breathing normally, a metal wall fell in front of us. I yanked the emergency brake back with all my might. As our ship stopped, I flew forward into the windshield. Ruza screamed. The huge ship in front continued and vanished from sight. Vision blurred, I collapsed back onto the seat, gasping, feeling nauseous. An intense impact from behind shoved us forward again.

"R—Ruza…"

She had her head reclined over the back of the seat, and she blinked dazedly. A small moan escaped her. I knew we had minutes before we reached the planets, but I couldn't…Ruza moaned again. I hoped nothing else would hit us before we continued driving.

_Fat chance._

* * *

"What on Irk?" Red had pressed the same button on his communicator a good twenty times. "Where is she?"

"I don't know, but neither of them will answer," Purple said. "Zee, are you doing?"

"_Fine, my Tallest."_ Her expression wavered. "_You'll want to know about something."_

Red asked, "What is it?"

_"I've seen a certain two female servants in the span of the last few minutes…" _

They both stared. The Control Room was silent.

"Zee." Red's tone was measured, "Don't play with us."

"I'm not, sir." Her voice was firm. "I _just_ saw them."

"…But what would they be doing out there?" Purple asked.

Red stared through Zee's image, out where the window would be. Hannah wasn't this stupid. He knew she wasn't _this_ _stupid_. "Zee, get a lock on their cruiser's signature." He turned to the technicians. "Call them!" They immediately began pressing buttons.

* * *

An annoying beeping filled the cabin. "…What's going on?"

Ruza sat up. A stationary ship in front of us had thankfully blocked any more immediate attacks from the front. "_Massive_."

I blinked and stared out the window in a daze. "Oh, great." _Just great._ Red and Purple were sure to be livid. _Guilt._ "Don't answer it." Ruza turned to face me and shrugged helplessly. "Ugghh…_Fine!"_ We had gotten so far, too…

Exhaling, Ruza pressed _Receive._ "Alright, here's the deal: we got four-cheese, pepperoni, and anchovy, but double-stuffed costs extra; and we may be a little late with the delivery." It must have been nervous laughter that passed my lips.

Purple's voice filled the space first. "_What on Irk do you think you're both _doing?!"

"Flying…" I droned, as if it was the most obvious fact.

"And," Ruza added, "we could use a little less distraction."

Red yelled, _"Do you know how dangerous this is?!""_

A huge vessel erupted into flames with a loud, low rumble—the work of a Voot swarm. "Pretty bad," I answered.

"_What were you two thinking?"_ Purple asked.

Ruza said, "Zim called us!"

_"Zim?!"_

"Back on the Massive, he and Tenn told us Mars' security systems need Earth information, but it won't let them call anyone. So we're set to meet them—"

Purple interrupted. _"You're insane."_

_"I want you both back on the _Massive_ this instant!" _

_No! This can't happen!_

"Please, just give us five minutes_,_" Ruza said. "We're almost there!"

Purple shook his head. "_Five minutes is too long! You can't survive out there! Turn around now—that's an order!"_

Silence. I struggled to breathe normally.

"Sorry," Ruza said. "No can do…they need us."

"_Yeah,"_ Purple frowned, "_but not dead."_

"_Hannah,"_ Red cut in, "_be reasonable! I don't know why you thought you could do this, but you were wrong!"_

I stuttered, avoiding his gaze. "I thought…I didn't want to cause this much trouble. We just want to help Zim…"

_"Well, you picked a small battle, at least, so that's good!"_ Red's tone dripped with sarcasm. _"You aren't helping!"_

_**BOOM! **_An impact shook the cruiser.

"Yes we are!" Ruza argued. "We took out one of theirs a few minutes ago."

_"Zim can handle himself!"_ Purple exclaimed. "_He can get blown up for all we care! He always resurfaces anyway!"_

"That's not fair," Ruza said. "Even Zim has a limit."

"_His is much higher than yours!"_ Purple said.

"Guys, we need to wrap this up." Ruza eyes were focused on the window. "There's a whole swarm coming."

_**BOOM! **_

I shrieked. …_This is much worse._

"Wait…" Ruza called. "Where are my coordinates? Stupid console…no!"

The ship shuddered, and I resisted the urge to panic We had gotten this far—we couldn't give up…not when Zim and Tenn…

"_Turn around right this second!"_ Purple yelled.

"Just…a few more minutes! Please!" Ruza hyperventilated. The mounting pressure made it difficult to think.

Emotion entered Purple's voice. "_We're not about to let you two die!"_

"We won't die!" Ruza returned.

"_Hannah, turn around!"_ Red yelled.

I inhaled, moisture pricking my eyes. It was so tempting…our best wasn't turning out to be good enough… "I'm sorry. Zim and-"

"Incoming!" Ruza shouted. "Circle time's done! Now!"

The thirty ships began firing.

Red slammed a fist on the console. "_No! This conversation is not over!"_

"Don't worry," Ruza called. "I'll protect us!"

"What?" I muttered.

Purple frowned. "_That's the least reassuring thing I've ever heard!"_

"Trust me! See you soon!"

They were still shouting at us when Ruza cut the transmission. Another button blocked calls. I heaved a sigh, collapsing against the seat, mentally processing what we'd just done. My stomach churned. I hoped they wouldn't be too angry. We were just trying to help, right?

"This is going to get rough quickly," Ruza said.

"It hasn't already?" I steered the ship to the side as the first bullets made contact with the hull. Two circles outside the window caught my attention. I jabbed a finger toward them. "Ruza! I see them! They're closer! Clearer!"

"Oh my gosh!" She gasped. "We're so much closer! Haha!" Enemy ships converged on us quickly. As I was trying to figure out how to avoid the barrages of bullets, the ship halted in its tracks.

"…What the—?!" I jerked the steering stick.

"We're stuck!" Ruza pounded the console.

"It's okay—Zim and Tenn will be here soon!"

But we couldn't escape the impending rebel threat. When the ship lurched backwards and continued reversing, I gasped.

Ruza held her hands up and gazed at the console. "What in the heck?!"

"They're auto-piloting us."

"..._Oh my gosh." _

_No. Stinking. Way._

We collided with something that tore into our hull, and were thrown violently around. Pain shot through my next. Thankfully, I didn't hit the window.

"But they can't see what's going on!" Ruza shouted.

When I thought about it, it made sense. It was something they would do. My head pounded. Another rebel batted us from the side, and we screamed. The window cracked.

"Did you hear that?" She screamed.

I looked at her. "_What_?"

"That's not a good sound! I learned from Rarl that's not a good sound!"

I shook my head, pounded the console. "Good! Make a good sound!"

"Okay, okay, calm down! We ju—_watch out, here comes another one!" _

I jerked the stick, fighting for control. Our voices reached a crescendo as we sharply turned, inches from a Vortian ship.

I realized, "We're never gonna make it out of here. We have to…" An idea hit. A terrible one, but we didn't have a choice. To stay here was death. Someone rammed into us. Ruza's head struck the glass smartly and she cried. "Ruza!"

I reached over and unbuckled her. We needed to move, now—our bullets would do no good against thirty without control of the vessel. "Come on!"

"What are you doing?" She stumbled in the direction I was pulling her.

"Something we shouldn't, but we have no choice!" I dug into a compartment I'd learned about and pulled out two packs.

"Jet packs…they can fly us down…where?"

"I don't know." I handed her one, my voice catching. "We can use the breathing apparatuses. Get this on—now!"

We hastily pulled on the packs. We had seconds before the window caved. I realized I could do more than jump.

I could wipe out…the close ones. My eyes found a button and I rushed for the console. Ruza switched her pack on and ran with me. _Rule One: No smiley button. Ever._

I sighed, head and heart pounding. Tears blurred my vision. _Sorry, Red. _

"They're going to know!" Ruza warned as I firmly pressed it.

"I know!"

"They're going to think we—"

"I know! Just…get ready!"

We both hit the buttons for our breathing shields, trying to maintain our footing. "Ready?!" She shouted over the din.

"Zim and Tenn are right there! We just have to reach Grax and get to them!"

She screamed at me, "Hold my hand!" as I pulled the overhead handle and she latched onto my entire arm. Without thinking, I rushed forward, half-dragging her, knowing we had seconds. Our feet left the ship's edge. Another ship smashed into ours, violently shoving it back, glass exploding.

Terror—blinding. Raw throats. Gripping Ruza's hand so hard it hurt. Stomach flipping. Gasping. Reflecting on life…

Fifteen seconds. The most intense explosion…smoke. The machinery on our backs was our only guide. Unable to see anything, I closed my eyes and fought to maintain our upright position. The sounds of battle still raged all around. Ruza and I clung desperately to one another and screamed as gravity latched onto us…


	21. Zim's Conquest

Hurtling towards a planet was not my most relaxing activity of all time. Sprinkle in a universal war, burning ruins, and the fact that the hurtling inevitably had to end, and I don't think my screaming, "I want to go home!" is terribly inexcusable.

Ruza's arms had me in a death grip, so I couldn't brace myself. A simple warehouse finally came into focus ahead, racing towards us. I barely had time to be grateful the atmosphere had slowed us before there was crashing, shattering, we fell, slammed into something, tumbled apart, and I hit a wall that halted and rendered me breathless.

Silence settled. A few minutes passed before I sat up, waiting for the spiking pain. Everything hurt; but amazingly, nothing felt broken. The silence permeated the air, closing in around us, making me, for once, feel isolated from the battle outside the warehouse walls. I moved and felt something caked on my face and arms—oozing from the few wounds that had just opened. My head was heavy, my thoughts retarded. My eyes strained to make anything out in the darkness. When I moved my foot, a searing, white-hot pain exploded in my ankle. I gasped. "Ow!"

"…Hannah?"

Relief drew my breath from me. "_Oh_, thank Earth."

"H-help."

And the breath quickly moved back into my lungs again. "Where are you?" My brain and ears felt like I was underwater as I swung my head back and forth.

"Window. Take your time."

Getting to my feet…was a feat. Getting across the room was a mental gauntlet. To my horror, a large, metal beam had fallen along with us and lied atop Ruza now, across her hips. "I don't think it broke anything…" came her soft tone. "I just can't move."

I exhaled. "…Ummm…" It took five minutes to inch her out from underneath the gigantic piece of metal; and when it finally clanged to the floor, my eardrums, hands, and everything else were raw. Ruza cradled her arm. "Is it broken?" I probed it gently.

A scream, pure reaction, erupted from her. I stepped back, struggling to stay on my bad foot, and fought the urge to start crying. A very long silence ensued, until I forced the words from my mouth. "At least we can still walk." _Kind of…_

"Yeah." Ruza's voice was softer than I'd heard it in a while. "We need to get out of here."

The first thing to greet us as we exited the warehouse was the chaotic light show in the sky—ships visible and invisible, small and large flashes of lasers, distant screams of distant battles on this…_On Callnowia. _We were on Callnowia.

"Zim and Tenn?" Ruza ventured.

I gave a helpless shrug. "…Wait. Can't we lock onto their signatures from here?" When I lifted my arm to my line of vision, though, the webbed crack crawling across the blackened screen made my heart sink. "…Oh." I wished Red and Purple were here to protect us.

"Who _were_ those guys who targeted us, anyway?" Ruza asked.

I threw my arms up in answer. For about twenty minutes, we suffered walking the streets, which had already been decimated. Horrifying exhibits: stilled bodies with hidden faces, abandoned weapons, dirt lying where ammo had flung it: all assaulted us. Smoke curled, thick, black, from shells of vehicles. Our steps pattered shallowly on the asphalt, and I felt guilty for invading this silent, menacing scene, already shut down, already through with its performance. I felt very young.

I didn't understand why it had had to be cast in the first place.

A sudden cluster of buildings towered before us—wreckage still abounded, and I knew we'd have to be careful. "Okay, parking garage…we need a way off…" The nearest visible one was five blocks away. We groaned. "Okay, we're almost there. They're probably desperate for help now; so, let's go."

Once inside the garage, the dilemma arose of how we were to jack another cruiser. Ruza asked, "Do you see any Irken ones?"

"…No." The unspoken ending to this scene.

"Okay…any unlocked ones?"

A short inspection of the first floor revealed every vehicle owner in this theater had sense. "Damaged ones?"

"We can't exactly fly with a broken window or something!"

"…Oh…right."

Ruza smirked. "Hello, miss common sense." She turned to inspect another one. "…Hey—this one has an open passenger side."

"Really?" I crossed to the other side of the cruiser and tried the door. Amazingly, it opened.

"_Yes!"_ We chorused. In moments, we were both inside, staring blankly at the controls.

"Ummm…"

"Know how to…?"

"Nope."

"…Experimentation."

A stab of guilt shot through me. "…Experimentation."

Thankfully, some controls are almost universal. This one had a rounded steering apparatus, which made me happy. The ignition was a given, though Ruza had to fumble with the controls for a good five minutes to hack them. The engines rumbled to life, and I carefully steered us out of the garage.

Ruza tried out the interface, which, apparently, had the ability to lock onto alien signatures on other ships—something our old one had been able to do as well. Almost humorously, an ocean of Irken dots showed up on the screen; but Ruza spotted two on the outskirts of the battle, a healthy distance away, both flashing—distress signals.

"Hey! Look!"

"There they are!" I agreed. "Okay, okay—"

"Okay, we got this!"

"They're only about ten minutes away!" I turned our vehicle in their direction and whipped up the ignition to full power. Ruza and I let out joint squeals as we re-entered the atmosphere of Callnowia.

* * *

Zim and Tenn had flying problems of their own. It must be observed they were making do exceptionally well without weapons. Zim, for example, was using the girth of his planet to his advantage by gracefully knocking it against the rebel legions. "Hah! Take that, you rebel _scum_!"

"_Mercury to Zim! It's asking me the publication dates of Earth novels—over!" _

"Do I seem—" _**CRASH. **_"—like I know—" _**SMASH. **_"—publication dates?" A symphony of explosions from his left.

"2035!" Gir yelled.

"Quiet, Gir!" More explosions as Zim swerved. "_Yes!_ Take that! I'll feed your heads to my Skool teacher!" He yanked the joystick to the left and Mars spun in a slow, elegant donut maneuver that wiped out the rest of the immediate rebels. Fiery detonations sprinkled space, Mars swinging amongst them like a gargantuan merry-go-round. The rebel funnel dissipated.

Tenn's voice came over the line. "_That was awesome! I think I've discovered the answer to the photosynthesis question—over. Also, Lio says to tell you there are about thirty headed your way." _

Zim perked an antenna to listen to nine more satisfying explosions. "…Why did you say 'over' halfway through your message?"

"…_Gir, smack him for me." _The robot simply blinked at Zim. "_We've got a lone cruiser. That's weird: it has a Callnowian signature."_

Zim frowned. "…But they're not even…"

A blast sent Zim flying and bouncing across the red dirt. He slid to a stop. Another landed in the soil near him.

"_Zim, you all right, over?"_

"Uugghh."

"_Zim?"_

Another explosion. He coughed. His hands were covered in orangey-red dust.

"_Zim? Zim?! Over!"_

Eyes half-closed, gaze fixed skyward, Zim beheld something unexpected, and murmured, "Light."

"…_No! Zim, don't go into the light!_ _Whatever you do, _don't_ go—!"_

"No." Zim pointed a finger upward. "Light."

Callnowian cruisers had strong headlights. This one descended, two familiar faces shining in the window. When it landed, it spat out two familiar girls. "Hello Mars!" Ruza looked at him. "That sniper was annoying, huh? We got him for ya."

Tenn scoffed. "_You scared me!"_

Zim smirked. "You're frightened too easily. Hello. What happened to your arm?"

Ruza sighed. "…A warehouse."

Zim quirked an eyebrow before another force picked him up in a hug.

"Hey!" Hannah said. "Long time no see!"

"Why are you limping?" he asked. "And put me down!"

She complied. "…Warehouse. Okay, let's get to work."

Back at the steering apparatus, Zim pressed the infuriating button that conjured up the holographic head. "_Welcome, pilot! How—?"_

"Shut up and make with the question asking!"

It frowned. "_Well, that's _rude._ If you want…__**Welcome to the Milky Way Galaxy Examination of Personal Knowledge and Overall Intelligence!"**_

Zim leaned forward. "I am so ready for this."

"_In 1492, on planet Earth…"_

"_Christopher Columbus_!" The girls chorused. Zim stared at them but didn't question it.

"_That is…hideously correct! Next!"_

Zim cackled. "Hahaha! Take that, you miserable hologram head!"

"…_Nestled in scenic Albania, on planet Earth, is the Erzen River."_

"Oh, no!" Hannah cried. Zim had never learned anything about that country. Tenn hadn't known it existed before the security system asked her for its capital.

"_This river's source lies in some very specific mountains."_

Zim frowned—the girls looked horrified…

"_What are the two main elements that comprise the substance of this river?"_

Everyone stared.

Zim finally exploded. "What kind of pointless, half-brained examination is this you're insulting us with?"

Ruza flicked a hand. "Hydrogen and oxygen."

"_That is…correct! On to your third and final question!"_

"What the heck?!" Hannah asked.

"_What is the sixth farthest planet from Mars' sun?"_

The girls started rattling off planet names, which culminated in them both shouting, "_Saturn_!"

"_That is… incorrect! Where did you learn _your_ planets? Please try again in ten seconds, or restart the exam with new questions."_

"What d'you mean?!" Ruza's face was a mask of panic. "Mercury, Venus, Earth—!"

"Wait!" Hannah said. "These two aren't there anymore!"

Realization dawned on Zim as Ruza began talking again. "So then, Mercury—no, Venus—"

"Earth, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, _Neptune_!"

Everyone screamed the word at the hologram, which then proceeded to frown back. "_You're all obviously sure you're very important. Hah, very well: since you obviously know so much about the entire galaxy, I'll unlock your weapons systems. Just don't ask me to do anything ever again." _The head fizzled out.

"I'm gonna fly a planet!" Gir plopped down in the chair before Zim yanked him out and threw him off the console.

"Excellent! Now, you two!" Zim pointed at the girls. "Good work—time to wipe out some rebels." They all cheered, but then stopped, the sudden realization that they didn't know what to do dawning on them.

The holographic voice spoke again, though no head appeared. Its tone was doleful. "_Take the teleporters to the deadly plasma cannons."_ Two shafts of green light appeared. The girls waved at Zim, walked into the shafts, and disappeared. Zim focused his attention on the console, now open to entire networks of information and contacts. He grinned. "The Tallest will be so proud to see my conquest!" Zim chuckled.

* * *

Mars was not the only setting in this chapter that held screaming people. The exclamations of a separate party, though, were less…cognitive…and more along the lines of,

"_What the hell just happened? What happened?!"_

Red and Purple, for all intensive purposes, might as well have been running a marathon around Control for the number of times they traversed its levels. The technicians attempted to continue their work; but after forty-five minutes, anyone, even a loyal Irken technician, is liable to get fed up.

"Hey," one of them spoke in hushed tones to her neighbor. "Do you have any hearing inhibitors?"

The other shook his head. "Sorry. I left them in my quarters."

Then, another, even more grating sound, poured into the room via the big screen. _"Greetings, my Tallest!" _Zim cawed and saluted as if he had just singlehandedly won the war. The Tallest quit their hysterics to gaze at the screen before going at it again. "_I'm reporting on my _tremendous_ success—no doubt you'll both be pleased to see that—"_

"Zim!" Red was breathless. "Did you find—?"

"_The weapons—yes—they're all fully functional and—"_

Purple shouted, "No, you idiot! Have you seen—?"

"_I can see you're quite proud!"_ Zim beamed. _"Rest assured Tenn and I are obliterating rebels by the duodecillions!" _

"Zim—!"

"_Sorry, my Tallest—I'm going to have to keep the comm link off to focus on piloting Mars—but I'll send you a full report the moment _Colossal_ is mine!"_

"Wait!"

"You don't understand!"

"Zim!"

Several technicians also began calling out to him.

"Stop—!"

_"Invader Zim, signing off! With my first conquest," _he added gleefully.

As the screen went black, Red pounded the console. "No! No! No!"

"Zim! For the love of Irk!"

* * *

"Testing, testing—one, two three. Ruza, Zim, Tenn, can you guys hear me—over?" It was good the Mars console had extra communicators stored. I could barely see outside of the turret casing in which I was buried.

"_Ruza reporting in! Martian weapons are retarded—over!"_

Zim's voice: "_Focus! Those thirty are coming up quickly!"_

"_Zim."—_Tenn's voice—_"I'm going to circle around behind and see if I can pick some off, over."_

"_Okay, no one else is allowed to say 'over' for the rest of the mission! Understand?" _

Ruza's voice, protesting—"_Who put you in charge?"_

A scoff. "_I'm in charge bec—"_

_**BOOM!**_

"_Shoot, now!"_

Like I said, I could hardly see out, much less get a lock on any rebel ships. _Primitive Martian technology…_I aimed my best, and my training turned out not to be in vain—I made contact with a few that erupted in flames and sunk in the sky.

"_There are seven billion over here!" _Ruza whined.

"_We're going left!"_ Zim informed us. All at once, the air felt much, much heavier.

"_Hey!" _Ruza spoke. "_Do you mind piloting this thing with a little more competence?!" _

"_Yeah, Zim." _Tenn's voice. "_I can see your horrible driving from back here!"_

"_SHUT UP!" _

"Zim, they're coming closer!" I warned, unable to breathe. The squad that had shot Ruza and I down was back. They'd isolated us—we weren't near any of the other fighting. That gave them clearance to land, if they had the skills to do so.

"_Everyone brace yourselves!" _Tenn said. "_They're landing near the turrets!"_

"_Are we allowed"—Ruza's voice—"to abandon our turrets?!" _

I answered. "They're probably the safest place—" A rebel made a huge webbed crack in my turret's glass. "Let's go!"

"_I'm gonna drive closer to the heat of the battle, so that—"_

_**KZZRRTT.**_

Tenn picked up the conversation. "_Uh, Hannah? I think one of them landed near Zim, too."_

"Thanks, Tenn." I opened up the exit to my turret and took off running—ahem, gracefully limping—toward a nearby structure hopefully good for some shelter. "He'll probably be able to handle them on his own. I'm going to head for the thing that looks like a smashed face."

Deafening pops—blinding sparks—on the rock beside me. I dove behind the nearest rock, and dragged myself under an overhang. Engines keened overhead.

_Trapped._

"_Hannah?"_ The voices were all but drowned out as the rebel ship circled into view. I curled inward, tensing my muscles, waiting for the bullets, and hoping the small opening between the overhang and the ground wouldn't let any of them in. "_Hannah?!"_

My breath caught as I saw the rebel's guns glowing.

"_Hey_!" A streak of gray and blue, onto the hood of the aerial ship, into the center of its front window. "_Hey!"_

"_Gir?"_ I mouthed.

The robot banged on the glass, and the ship swerved and fired, trying to shake him off. I ducked beneath the rock, shielding my face as much as possible. …_CRASH. _I peered over the top of the rock to see Gir leap through broken glass into the cockpit. Two Vortians flew out onto the reddish ground, grunting and cursing. Gir shouted something along the lines of, "I like the humans!" before leaping out after them.

"Whoa," one of them said.

"_Hannah!" _Ruza's voice. _"What's going on?!"_

As the Vortians slowly got to their feet, I shrieked across the barren space. "Gir! Weapons!"

He seemed to think hard for a few moments—too long, as the rebels were recovering—before opening his head and throwing out an egg beater, a chainsaw, and…

"A shield!" A minimal weight lifted off my chest. I just had to get to…and my laser! The screen was broken, but maybe…the rebels were up. "Gir, attack!"

"_…This thing on?" _Zim tapped the mic. "_I'm back—who's giving my SIR orders?"_

"_Guys, this doesn't look good," _Ruza said. I had a moment to wonder where she was before I slipped out of my hiding place and bolted for the shield. Adrenaline stemmed the pain. Gir occupied the guards near the now-flaming cruiser.

"What is this thing?" One of them tried to shake Gir off. "Get off!"

"It's a stupid SIR unit!"

"Get it off!"

Gir removed a tennis racket from inside his head and whacked them on the head with it.

"I wasn't trained for this!"

"Help me!"

"I don't even know you! I'm from accounting!"

"Get it off of me!"

I hefted the shield, tapped my laser button a few times, and turned to see one of them throw Gir off.

I turned and ran.

"_Hannah, what is going on—?!" _Ruza sounded winded.

"I've got two on my heels!" I was panting.

"_You okay?" _Zim asked.

"No!" More popping, sparks. I ducked behind another rock, shield over my head, eyes shut, ankle throbbing.

"_I've got some nearby, too," _Ruza whispered.

Tenn's voice. "_Stay in hiding. Hannah, are you okay?" _

Footsteps, closer. "No, help!"

Zim. "_Do you have a weapon—?"_

"Shh! Yes!"

"_Try to pick them off."_

When I peered over the rock, I wasn't in their direct line of sight. My left hand clenched the laser so hard it hurt. _They're trying to kill me. They are trying to kill me. They shot us out of the sky. _

My arm trembled. One of them turned, stared right at me, and my hand was on the button before I could think.

He fell silently. I saw him hit the ground, his friend turned, and I made to shoot him but was almost too late—he aimed at me. Thankfully, he never had the opportunity to shoot.

I exhaled. "Got 'em."

"_You're okay?" _Zim checked.

"_Hannah," _Ruza spoke, "_did they hurt you?"_

"No, but—"

Ruza screamed. A chill crawled through my veins. _"Oh my Earth, get it off, get away from me!"_

"Ruza!"

"_Ruza!"_ Zim exclaimed.

I dug my feet into the soil as I bolted back in her direction. "_Where are you?"_

"…_I managed to get away." _Her voice, less panicked. "_They're hot on my trail. Oh my Earth, I was almost… they were right around the corner, a minute ago."_

"Wait…" I tried to process everything over the emotion. If they were singling us out, it was either because of Zim and Tenn, with the planets, or…but they'd shot us out of the sky…and if they'd wanted to wipe out Zim and Tenn, they'd be sending more people.

…Was it because of what happened on the _Colossal_?

* * *

She wished for a weapon more than anything. Her heart slammed in her chest, her ears, her arm. She'd lost sight of her companions. Without a weapon, she was forced to duck behind vermilion stone. One of them had almost clipped her. One of them had gotten a fist to the face; but there were so many.

She was prey. Not since Earth had she wanted so much for someone to come to her aid—and never more than the moment when an arm yanked her back, held her against a wall.

She hadn't seen this one.

She hadn't seen this one coming.

Ruza screamed. The eyes above her held no trace of indecision—he'd come with a purpose.

"Hello, _hyuman_," the nameless rebel spoke. Ruza's thoughts flew. _Beg for mercy? Threaten him? That's out—no weapon_. "The last time you were captured, we were made aware of exactly what liabilities follow. So I have a better idea."

Ruza turned her head away from his eyes and breath.

"You know, that file gave us quite a shock. You don't understand anything, do you?" Ruza finally mustered the bravado to stare back—she could at least represent Earth well. "You're going to pay for that stunt you pulled in the prison."

"Let me go." With gritted teeth, she fought to maintain her firm facade. "People are coming for me."

The momentary flicker of worry drained from his eyes as quickly as it had appeared. "I know who you're talking about; but he wouldn't leave the safety of the _Massive _for your sake. I wish we could see Callnowia from here. You'd put up less of a _resistance_—" he re-adhered her flesh to the stone, more forcibly, "if you saw how we've already won that planet, if not this battle. Oh!" He grinned. "That's right. You already saw it on your way down."

"Looked pretty even to me…you've burned three planets so far: are you satisfied? Do you feel _better_ now?" She tried to mask her confusion. This "_he_"…she didn't understand. Was he referring to Red, Purple, Zim…?

"I have to say, your file was quite interesting. It gave us something to work on in between all the killing and war nonsense. Lard Nar was also beside himself with rage; so there's that."

"Please, I don't know what—"

"You know how many times _she_ said please?" His eyes narrowed. "He didn't keep count."

_Who was "he?" Who was "she?" What was this file?_

* * *

Zim's communicator was down…No, _mine_ was. If anything could go wrong today!

I'd had to take out three or four others on my way, trying to get back to the console. If we could get help, we could take out the other rebels. It was up to Zim to contact help; but I hadn't heard from him in so long I feared his communication line would be down, too. Nothing gave away the position of the rebel in front of me before I rounded the corner and saw Ruza in his grasp.

Immediately, I spun back behind the rock. I listened for a moment and peered around the corner. His profile was turned from me. His barrel pinned Ruza against the rock. There were words.

Then, every other explosion became absolutely nothing.

It took me a moment to register my proximity. Back around the rock, I slipped to the ground. That scene consumed me. My body refused to work. Footsteps moved away from me. Everything blurred as I attempted to move air in and out of my lungs.

_Oh…my…_For a while, I simply was. Anger gradually seeped into my consciousness. _Ru_…Why her? Why _us_?! _I _was the one who had formulated the escape plan…!

Unknowing of any other danger, I sobbed, tightened my arms around myself, and tried to scrape from my mind the image I knew lied around the corner. I couldn't move, think, process…

And my communicator was out.

_Help…Ruza…_

Something told me to get up. I remembered the rebels were here.

_Help. _

I remember leaning on the rock. I remember offing more people automatically. I remember crying for help—luckily, no one dangerous heard. I remember seeing the _Massive _in the sky, miles away, and falling to my knees. Falling apart.


	22. Premature Conclusions

"Very nice," he drawled, leaning back against leather. "Veeerry nice." So much violence—carnage—people dropping like flies: that's how it always began.

Ichabod's fingers curled around the arms of his chair. Nar's call had prompted him to observe (from a safe distance, of course—please, did these people give him credit, as head of the tournament?) the battle at Callnowia. Despite being unable, being a third party, to intervene in any Transportation, Ichabod was convinced recruiting contestants from this batch wouldn't be difficult at all. The Irkens had transported in the past—they'd even, like Jagger itself, sent their own people into the fray. The Vortians had bitterness, hypocrisy, on their side—good for ratings. Few realized ratings came from social dynamics—not just the killing.

Lard Nar had even promised him a new species.

* * *

A call stopped Lard Nar just as he was about to board a ship for Callnowia. They'd finally called it off after the better part of two days—the toll was too costly, on either side, and the soldiers couldn't keep this up. A cease-fire meeting was in order. Lard Nar assented to taking the call, however.

"_What a show. Well, well done, Lard Nar."_ Ichabod. "_Don't look so put out about how it all turned out—tying doesn't mean you necessarily lost, does it?"_ The Jaggerion smirked. "It's does my head good to see such enthusiasm—it's a good foreteller of the months to come. Now, what was the new species you wanted me to talk to the Jaggerion Embassy about?"

"There's no need," Nar replied, tone curt. "There was a complication with the operation. As much as I would have liked to take you up on that offer, the girl is already dead."

_"...Hm. That's…unfortunate."_ He didn't appear extremely vexed. "_At least both sides have enough potential to keep the tournament smoking, am I right?" _

"...Sure. _Unfortunately,_ we have a ceasefire meeting in a few minutes. Kind of important that I'm there. But there may be others in the next three months. I'll contact you if any show up."

_"I look forward to it,"_ Ichabod smiled. "_Do keep in touch. Your rabble has me very interested."_ With a nod, he disconnected.

Lard Nar turned to his crew and a few of them boarded the waiting cruiser. "Let's get down there before the Tallest eat all of the relief packages…and before their people take all the seats." He tried to shake the feeling of inferiority Ichabod's tone had brought bubbling back to the surface. The fact that he was going to a ceasefire conference didn't help matters. …_'Little rabble.' Please._

* * *

"Tenn…Zim…" Yelling was futile. My communicator was out—seemingly for good. I didn't know how much time had passed. Red dust in every direction. It was caked in my shoes, in my clothes, in my hair, my brain…my lungs…I coughed. It 'd been a while since I'd seen anyone; and the sky was clearer…maybe it had finally ended. Pain shot through my ankle with every step. I was thirsty.

"Gosh dang it, how do I get out of here?!" I stomped my good foot. _Ruza…_Was I crying again? Or was that sweat?...It was a million degrees.

No. That number was too large. _Center-of-the-universe large. Wait…there's no sun there… _Was Zim dead, too? The thought gave me a fifteen-second burst of energy. Was that the edge to a field? Was this a field?

That was the console. That big, metal thing. Zim wasn't driving. _Stupid Zim, why aren't you driving? _

Then, a voice. "…The almighty _Zziimm_!" About a hundred yards off…so far away. But at least there was something for me to walk towards. There was a screen on the other side of the console, that showed Purple. Zim was talking to him. _Zim…heh. That's funny. _

"Found you!" I yelled. They both turned and looked at me.

"Well," Zim chided, "it's about time!" Purple was saying stuff, too.

"…I need water." My voice came out in a croak. My head spun.

"It's been hours!" Zim complained. "Where's the other one?"

My heart plummeted.

"For Irk's sake, tell him before he has a seizure," Purple said to Zim.

Who was "he?"

Why was I suddenly sitting on the ground?

"For shame," Purple grinned at me as Zim ran off to go get something—probably popsicles. Those were good. "You're delusional. But I'm so glad you're all right. So…where's Ruza?"

Zim rounded the corner, Red following. I felt myself smile when I saw him, although my head still felt hot—everything on this planet was hot. Red's eyes lit up, a huge smile lit up his face, and he rushed towards me.

"He wouldn't listen to me." Purple frowned. "I told him going out there was dangerous. But no!"

Red wrapped me in his arms, holding me to him. The sudden movement from the ground left me dizzy…but now I was with the three of them—safe again. "I was so worried," Red whispered next to my ear.

"…I'm sorry." He must have been scared.

"You are never leaving the _Massive _again."

"…What?" That wasn't fair—I needed my docking days, too.

He pulled back just enough to look me in the eye. "You scared the life out of me! What on Irk did you think you were doing?!"

I shook my head. "I was just trying to…"

He kissed my cheek. I froze. "It doesn't matter." He met my eyes earnestly. "Never leave like that again." I nodded, struggling to breathe, unable to look away from him. He set me down and my ankle screamed. Automatically, I clutched his arm, and he wrapped it around me. "Come on." That was good—I didn't want to end up on the ground again. I looked back at the screen. Purple and Zim were waiting.

I stared at Purple, horrified. His expression sobered; and it slowly matched my own. "…What happened?"

Tears filled my eyes. Things blurred. I couldn't produce an answer. Somebody turned out the lights—put a shadow over us. That was the last thing I remember.

* * *

Lard Nar ascended the stairs to his plastic stadium seat. Hundreds lined the inside of the building. Medical tents had been set up. Some people were passing out food and drink. The faces were sober, haggard, and sometimes asleep. Lard Nar gazed around listlessly until his hearing picked up on a familiar, high-pitched voice.

Lard Nar couldn't see who was on the other side of Purple's conversation—just that he held a data pad. The Tallest's tone, however, was unusually casual. That, and the fact that Red wasn't here…and the fact that the voices sounded happy…

Lard Nar bolted upright in his seat. The rolling buzz of the Callnowian stadium filled his head. People, moving, everywhere. Injured. Hurt. Dead.

Slowly, he lowered himself back down, the odds of fifty-fifty the only thought at the front of his brain. Unwillingly, he released a breath, forcing himself to do it slowly.

_Let's just finish this._

* * *

My dream had laughter. It sounded familiar, feminine; and while the dream was incoherent, it was happy.

I awoke to black wires against pink metal. I was on my back underneath a network of cords. When I looked beside me, a rolling stand with an IV confirmed my guess. A screen on the wall to my left displayed numbers. I'd seen this kind of room many times while visiting Dwicky in the medical ward.

The IV bag was filled with clear liquid…_I'm surprised they went down to our floor to find it. _It took me ten minutes to remember everything. The haziest parts, with the Tallest and Zim, led me to believe it was them who'd brought me back on board. But then…where were they?

"Ah." A nurse walked in. "Good, you're awake. I thought it would take a few more hours, with the fall you took and the dehydration."

"Thanks for the water…" My voice wasn't broken, but it was raspy.

She read the screen. "No problem. You took a lot of damage. That was incredibly foolish."

"…Yeah…"

"But the important thing is, you survived _them_." She entered a few things into the computer and turned. "I bet you want to know what's going on."

I sat up. "Yes—where is everyone?!"

"The Tallest are on Meekrob, at the ceasefire meeting. Those who aren't there are recovering, out there, or," she sighed, "here. A few are still flying around. Almost everyone's accounted for. We're actually helping clean up the mess on Callnowia…it's the first time we've done something like that in a while..." She shrugged. "But we obviously don't have room for them here."

"Wait…" Alarm shot through me. "How long have I been out?"

"About six hours."

"_What?_ Six…!"

She nodded. "Sometimes negotiations can take days. There's no need to be concerned for their safety: they're protected, as always."

_Except for when Red came to get me, _I thought. "But if one side wants to start shooting again, who's to say it won't start up again?"

"Hannah, trust me, the loss of life is already record-breaking. Neither side has the resources to waste. All we're doing is agreeing on a set period of peacetime and any other minor negotiations we impose on each other. The Tallest will prevail." She started to make her way toward the door. "

"Wait!"

"I'm really very busy right now. I'll be back in an hour—just take your meds and try to relax."

"Ruza." The word escaped before I could think. The question lingered on my lips. Nurse became blurry. She slowly shook her head. I cried out, curling into myself.

"I'm sorry. I'll give you time…I'll be back in a little while." The door opened and shut. I forgot the room around me as the overwhelming emotion bowled me over. Eventless hours passed. I fluctuated between grief and curiosity as to what was going on now.

Two hours later, a source of information hovered in, looking more tired than I'd seen him in a while. Purple spoke. "I can't decide who looks worse right now, honestly. You look like…well." He sighed and lowered into a chair near my bed. "Like you got run over by a MegaDoomer."

"I'm okay. You look like you need…refreshment."

He shook his head. "That's the last thing I need." He made an attempt to meet my eyes. "The proceedings are over…obviously."

I gave him what I hoped was a sympathetic look. "And?"

Purple straightened slightly. "There was a lot of shouting, and cursing, and even throwing things…Don't look at me like that. Paper got signed. So, you know."

"What happened?" I prompted gently.

"There's going to be a…for Earth…a three-month ceasefire."

"You did the math for me?"

Purple looked like he was about to pass out. "You're welcome."

There was a long, long pause. The lights overhead hummed and the meaningless beeping of the console filled the silence. Purple's eyes were fixed on the ground, half-shut in tiredness. "…Purple." I leaned forward, speaking softly. "It wasn't your fault."

"Yeah," He returned quietly. "I know."

"…Purple."

He quickly wiped one eye. "What?"

"It wasn't your fault."

He was silent for another few seconds before he finally brought his hands up to wipe his tears. "_Irk_, but it _was_! If you'd been with us when Zim—"

"No," I insisted, pulling the covers off and moving my legs to the side of the bed. Pain shot through my ankle. "…Ah—!"

"No, stop!" He ordered. I winced, and met his eyes. Purple put a hand up, shook his head. " Just stay there. We don't need…"

" Okay…sorry."

He eyed the floor again. "I was going to be so happy to register you two…The Brains, at first, said you couldn't be…but…it wasn't just what you did on the _Colossal. _Things have changed..."

I frowned. "You talked to them about us?"

"I told them about the _Colossal _episode. They didn't want to let you stay, at first…but a lot of things have changed." Purple rubbed the back of his neck. "Our views on humans have changed. And a lot of things…" He took a breath. "I didn't know I would care this much."

"Purple…" His words touched my heart.

Another sigh. "If you two had just been in the room with us when…"

The door opened. Red hovered in, immediately locked eyes with me, and spoke. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay..." I eyed Purple. "It's him I'm worried about."

Red sat beside his counterpart and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Did you tell her?"

Purple shook his head.

"Tell me what?"

"There's a thing called registration—I think…" Red's expression sobered. "_She…_told you about it. The test. You know."

I nodded.

Purple spoke. "It's being postponed because of the ceasefire."

"…Oh." I'd wanted to take that test, to finally be official. "Oh."

For a while, there was a heavy yet comfortable silence in the room. We talked some more, and they eventually left to take care of things, but it was a while before I fell asleep again. I didn't want to revisit the dreams, or nightmares, that I feared would contain Ruza.

* * *

"That's thirty-four thousand in…just vehicle damages, right? We factored in the—?"

"Guys!" Lard Nar said. "Why are we doing this now? Somebody fill up my chip bag."

An intern ran over to replenish him. One of the rebels spoke up. "Because we need to calculate the damages that—"

"I want to go to sleep!" someone cried.

"Twelve hours on the battlefield!"

"I have a wife and a kid back on Vort. Are we heading back?"

Nar sighed. The emotional toll of the day had affected him, too. "Guys, just save that work for the accountants and call it a day…we can re-strategize when the new week starts."

"We're getting a new plan?" Schloontapooxis asked.

"Oh, I already have one." A chorus of "what-is-its." "We offed the wrong girl on Mars. That wasn't even supposed to be the plan. So now, we're going about it with a lot more finesse."

Still, blank stares, all the way across the room.

"Let me reiterate that we're not trying to kill the Tallest—that ship has sailed. No. Instead, we want a loss of focus. Dread. You all remember the Irken prisons: how we were strung out for days—longer than this—before we quit this life." Lard Nar's tone grew more convicted as he looked them all in the eye. "Tell me how it's fair that they get to have an easy way out! No! We want to terrify them! With her, we finally have that link!"

The crew was starting to catch on, albeit in an exhausted, half-listening stupor.

"We have many more planets to conquer," Nar continued. " We've suffered together for a long time. I know many of you lost comrades today—we're going to regroup. It's been a difficult journey. You all are going home for a short time. But trust me when I tell you we are _not_ done. This is not over. Today was confirmation-today was the assurance we needed! We have the tool we need to bring down the Empire: by doing whatever it takes. But you have to be with me. Are you with me?"

Weak, exhausted voices spoke up, all the more convicted.

"…Sir." An intern spoke up from his desk.

"What?" Lard Nar asked, handing out snacks to the others on the Bridge.

There was an audible smile in his voice as he studied the contents of his screen. "Jagger's done."

* * *

"Do we have to do this?"

"Yes." The answer was short and not sweet.

"But…he probably doesn't even…" I would come up with the best argument ever. Right here. Right now. Now. Now. My voice came out small. "Let's just...not do this." And a little bit whiny.

_Well, that's futile_.

Red's eyes flared as he turned around. His voice came out in an almost hiss. "Oh, we're_ doing_ this."

"…Okay."

Red was standing before the monitor in my hospital room, waiting for the transmission to send. My dad was probably busy, I told myself. He wouldn't have time to answer—

"_Hello?"_

…_Crap. _"Hi, daddy."

His face brightened. _"Hello, darling! How are you?" _Then, clouded with confusion. "_What are you doing…?" _His eyes swept the room. "_In a hospital…bed?" _

Red straightened ever so slightly as he spoke. "We wanted to inform you about what happened."

For a moment, just two males staring across the universe at each other. Then, my dad spoke. "_The Tallest, right? It's nice to finally get to talk with you. I mean, it's been almost a year."_

Red nodded.

"Dad," I spoke up. "Red came and got me after we had our…" I realized I hadn't thought about how to explain this beforehand. "We…Ruza and I…" I sighed. "We ran off the _Massive._"

"_You mean you ran…_off_ the _Massive, _as in, escaped?" _His expression was neutral.

"…N-not really. See, there was this battle, and…" I cringed. "Zim needed help—the one who brought us out here—" I inwardly cringed again, "—and the only people who could help him were Ruza and I. I know that sounds hard to believe, but…" This was harder than I'd thought. "We ended up in the fighting."

First, my dad's eyes widened. Then, his mouth. His facial expression changed from surprise to incredulity to the beginnings of rage. "…_What?!"_

"My reaction exactly," Red said.

My dad pointed a finger at him. "_Not another word out of you, I want to hear _her_! I already blame you for all the crazy stuff that has happened to them since you kidnapped them!"_

I ignored Red's posture, hands on his hips, in favor of addressing the human on the other end of the screen. "It wasn't his fault. A lot of it wasn't. They've been harboring us. I told you that."

"_Well, I don't have to like it!"_

"Well, you don't have to hate it, either!" I shot back. "I've learned not to!"

"_What are you saying?" _My dad sent me a challenging look. "_That you actually _like _hanging out with these aliens? The last time we talked, you said you felt safe after receiving a death threat from this one!" _He threw a hand at Red. "_And then you cut the transmission on me! How do you think that was supposed to make me feel? And now, I find out you want to stay with them?" _His eyes were wide. _"What?" _

I took a deep breath. "Yes, they have a history of killing people. Yes, they're not the most trustworthy beings in the universe, by a long shot. But I feel safe here now. You should have seen the way they brought me from Mars. It was…great." I locked eyes with Red for the briefest of moments before looking back at my father. His expression would have been comical had the circumstances not been what they were.

"_Hannah…you're staying with _murderers!"

"Look," Red said. "I don't expect you to trust us. But look at the fact that she's alive, and we saved her. She would have died of thirst on that planet if it hadn't been for us."

At first, it was like my father wanted to retort again; but after a moment, he simply stared back at Red, his eyes still somewhat wide. After a while, he asked, "_Why do you care so much about her?"_

"I didn't at first." Red looked over his shoulder at me. "She grew on me. I hated humans at first. You know that." He looked at my father again. "But all I can say is she showed me a friendship no one else ever had. I realized I was wrong to base my opinions of people on race."

My dad's eyebrow rose. _"…And what are you going to do when she's better? What about the other three? How are you going to keep them on your ship? With a _war_ going on_?"

"Two of them have already headed back," Red said. "I didn't want her to go with them because I didn't think it was safe."

_That _gave my dad pause. He stared back at Red, the beginnings of respect for at the very least the latter's decision on his face. "The other girl…didn't make it."

"…_I'm sorry." _My dad looked shocked, hurt, like someone had punched him in the stomach. He locked eyes with me. "_Hannah, I'm so sorry." _

"…Yeah." For the first time in a long time, I wanted to be with my dad, to hug him, to feel like I had blood ties with someone that I could receive comfort from, to be truly home. "I'm sorry, too. For everything, dad. For lying to you…for cutting you off. For leaving you in the dark…I've been such a horrible daughter…"

"_Don't say that." _He wore a small smile. "_I love you. You'll always be my daughter. Even a million miles away, in space." _Tears found their way into my eyes again. _"And I forgive you. Don't be scared." _We held eye contact for a while, before dad faced Red again. "_You two had better take good care of her. She's all you've got left of them, now. And she's all I have left in the world, too. I expect weekly updates on the situation out there."_

Red and I nodded at the same time. "You'll get them."

There was a sort of inconsolable sadness in dad's eyes I could only cure by coming home. "_I love you, Hannah."_

"…I love you too, dad."

A brief, parting glance at Red. A cut transmission.

Now I knew how it felt.

* * *

Dwicky had thought the blue globe, speckled with green and white, oh-so-familiar, oh-so-home, would bring a leaping joy into his heart when he finally glimpsed it after all the months away. That joy was muted now, with the recent report from the capital ship. Still there, but seemingly dormant under the weight of the fact that he'd wanted someone else to be with him when he saw it. Someone that never could be again.

Dwicky's thoughts blurred in his mind the time it took for their craft to reach the surface, and then bright, yellow sunlight blanketing everything, and they stopped in front of Dib's house. The boy gave him a last look over his shoulder as he headed for the door, a neutral quirk in his mouth. That line across his mouth read familiarity, shared things, and a sadness neither one of them would revisit verbally. Dwicky stood at the front gate and raised a hand as a final goodbye. Well, not final. As a daily goodbye. They would likely meet up over the weekend.

Dib's sister opened the door. In the most nonviolent display of forgiveness Dwicky had ever witnessed from her, she stood there for a good five minutes listening to him talk before letting him in with both eyes, all his limbs, and his organs still intact.

Dwicky's front door seemed foreign to him at first—wooden, not pink, housed by a white behemoth of a strange material called stucco. It was not cold to the touch. His tile was, though, in the foyer. The staircase, the chandelier, the landing, the empty entryway: all cold.

He crossed into the front room, where a black television screen waited. _Months of newscasts I've missed. A year of Earth happenings. I wonder how they took the attack. I wonder who's still alive. _From the air, they hadn't been able to glimpse non-American scars on the Earth's surface.

The news station he initially turned on was one he'd viewed a million times before, before school, getting ready, trying to tie his tie or eating a bagel or whatnot. A bagel…how long had it been since he'd had healthy foods for breakfast?

"_This is Keith Kid, with the Channel 6 weather. Today, we're going to have some thunderclouds over the downtown area, with a few light showers on the way for some of our outlying districts, until about 9 pm. Then, watch out for hailstorms, in some of the farming areas, and uh…oh, yes. Cloudy clouds. Lots of 'em. Gotta get your umbrellas, folks. This is Keith Kid coming at you from the new, state-of-the-art, robot-proof Channel 6 News studio in downtown…"_

Static. Audibly, then visually. Runny salt-and-pepper mush plagued the screen. Dwicky felt his eyebrows furrow, and the edges of his mouth turned down.

The following broadcast was not from Channel 6 News.

It contained a blue planet with blue people Dwicky recognized from being present or mentioned at former conferences.

Ichabod grinned atop his vantage point, in front of the cameras, in front of what viewers could see was the beginning of an area that until this moment had been off-limits.

The tournament half of Jagger glistened like an infant sun.

He'd caught the broadcast in the middle of a paragraph, sentence, thought…but he understood almost immediately.

The tournament host leered at the half-planet. The cameras ate it up.

"_Ninety days._" Came the voice Dwicky thought he'd never hear. "_Ninety days._"

* * *

**I want to thank everyone who so patiently followed and waited on this story to be completed and edited. I appreciate you all and you've been on my mind every time I've worked on this story. I'm editing the first chapter of The EBT, the sequel, which will most definitely be up soon! Stay tuned, and, once again, thank you all so much for your love and support! All glory to God **

**Hannah**


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